Quotes / Screwed by the Network

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You know, the guys in prime-time could have had this show, but no! They had 'better ideas!'

Once I beat you, your show will be cancelled faster than you can say 'created by Joss Whedon'!

Peter Griffin: Everybody, I've got bad news. We've been canceled.
Lois Griffin: Oh no! Peter, How could they do that?
Peter: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That '80s Show, Wonderfalls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, FreakyLinks, Wanda at Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric the Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg the Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.

Shin: Hey, mister. Do you know where I can hide and no one would find me?
TV Manager: 2 AM, Saturdays?
Shin: Thanks for being such a jerk!

We had a lousy timeslot.
Raquel Westbrook, The L.A. Complex

I'm going to kill that fucking puppet show.
Bonnie Hammer, then-president of the Sci-Fi channel

Maybe Michael Grade's parents, and convince them not to get married.
Colin Baker on which historical figure he'd want to meet.

Tom was getting big figures. Ratings fell, and when ratings fall in television, in spite of your [the fansí] love and enthusiasm, the executives get scared. Why did the ratings fall? It might have been because we went up against Coronation Street, the most popular soap in the world? It was a big drop, wasnít it? A 50% drop. It was considerable...Itís all to do with money. They took you for granted. They tended to use Doctor Who as a kind of training ship for novices to get their experience on. Thatís bad.
Anthony Ainley on Doctor Who

If NBC had been trying to cancel us, they couldn't have done a better job.

What does NBC stand for? Never Believe your Contract.
Jay Leno, said during both Tonight Show scandals.

I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account.
Conan O'Brien on Twitter

In a master stroke of UPN programming brilliance, Dilbert follows Shasta McNasty, a show geared toward viewers who are... how can I say this... very likely to die in bowling ball cleaning machine accidents. Fortunately, Shasta is a filthy and sophomoric show, so it will corner the market on perverts and unsupervised minors. It's a perfect lead-in audience for an animated Dilbert TV show. If you don't understand that, you will never be a television executive.

In its final season the show ratings-wise had plateaud. And I think that while it wasnít doing badly, it was clearly not going to be a monster hit for the network. And I think it was a calculation on their part: ĎDo we bring the show back? Itís got a certain audience, itís got a certain level of critical estimation. Or do we roll the dice and hope weíre going to come up with a big hit in that time slot?í

We went to a convention — one of the first I went to — in San Antonio, and nobody showed up. We found out later that the UPN affiliate in San Antonio usually preempted Enterprise for high school football games. So there were a lot of problems that had nothing to do with our execution.

...Deadwood is a fundamental part of the evolution of the ďprestige televisionĒ model that is responsible for our supposed golden age...But its model is curiously fragile; a show cancelled for no reason other than that HBO and David Milch came to believe there was more money in surf-noir anticlassic John From Cincinatti, a televisual blunder second only to the likes of The Secret Diary Of Desmond Pheiffer. Its plot is unresolved, its final statement never offered, a show that abruptly realized it was holding a dead manís hand only as the bullet of history pierced its brain.

Fox is like Whedon's secretly abusive boyfriend; no matter how many times Fox hurts him, cheats on him, beats him down, Whedon always believes Fox when they say it will be different this time.
xxBirdMadGirlxx on Fark.com

One guy said that it's a literal Hell. Hundreds of people are going to lose their jobs, not just Kojima...Konami is going to burn the MGS franchise to the ground.
Anonymous Konami developer

Why were profitable titles like Thunderstrike, War Machine and all the 2099 books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on Thor would go up as soon as Thunderstrike was cancelled, and Amazing Spider-man would increase with Spider-Man 2099 gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense.
Editor Tom DeFalco on The Clone Saga

Team LMS was in the sixth inning, ahead by four runs, stands were packed and then for no reason, they call off the game.