Quotes / Racist Grandma


I disagree, man. She was just an old timer. It's the way people talked back then. That didn't mean they were racist. [beat] But my grandmother did refer to a broken beer bottle once as a Nigger Knife. You know, come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist.
Randall Graves, after being called out for saying "Porch Monkey" in front of a black couple in Clerks II.

Mr. Owl: So how did it go? Were your parents as difficult as Roland said they'd be?
Steve: Well, let's just say they're from a different time.
Cooper: What does that mean?
Steve: It means they're full of hate, but it's okay because they're old and harmless.

J.D.: So black people can get black eyes too, huh? Who knew?
Turk: I haven't have one this bad since your Nanny Hobbes threw that rock at me.
J.D.: She thought you were robbing the house.
Scrubs, My Advice to You

Real Life

To the end of her life, she was convinced that the black youths of New Orleans were signaling each other by banging the lids of garbage cans at night, preparatory to rape, murder, and rapine.
Gore Vidal on Edwina Williams

It is deplorable. It is tribal. And it is from America. It follows ragtime, blues, jazz, hot cha-cha and the boogie-woogie, which surely originated in the jungle. We sometimes wonder whether this is the negro's revenge.
Daily Mail editorial on The Blackboard Jungle (1956), the first film with a rock-and-roll soundtrack

The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest—but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like.
Richard Nixon discussing All in the Family, White House tape transcripts (1971)

We've got to support the police. There are thugs out there with guns hidden in their saggy pants. Pick up your damn pants! That's why we need a tank.

Somebody asked me over the weekend why does 'somebody' earn a lot of money have a lot of money because she’s black. (It was Oprah)...There’s a lot of guilt out there; show we’re not racists, we’ll make this person wealthy and big and famous and so forth.

I mean, I’d rather if she was going to fuck some nigger, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall nigger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player!
Hulk Hogan on his daughter, Brooke

I'm telling you, the Oriental people, they're slowly taking over.
—Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

Does race matter to you at the doctor's? It does to me. When I look for a doctor or a dentist, I look and I try to figure out the name and see if the name is somebody who might be my own race. I just trust my own race more.

Nothing more racist than a old black man, you know why? 'Cause the old black man went through some real racism. He ain't go through that 'I can't get a cab' shit. He was the cab! White man just jump on his back: 'Main Street!'
Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker

"Son, the only thing an Oriental baby leads to is trouble. And after you eat it, you're hungry 20 minutes later."
"No, listen closely: I fucking unironically hate the Orientals."
{laughter applause}"

In his mind, non-white teenagers need an alibi to exist. Why would they be in the park? People don't have their shoes shined there!

Again, this was all said before or after sex. What will The National Enquirer discover next? They’re going report that also in the sex tape, Hulk says he hates kittens, loves Donald Trump and as he humps on Heather, he screams “The holocaust didn’t happen!!!!” right before he busts an orange nut and collapses on her body.
Michael K., "Hulk Hogan’s Sex Tape Is The Offensive Gift That Keeps On Offending"

Thorpe: I hope the system of gingerly handling old people like they're retarded is still in place when I'm old, because I'm going to be saying the most racist shit imaginable just to watch people squirm.
Zack: Yeah, if you can live past about 60 you are finally free to just absolutely hate black people in public. Which I think is what we all secretly want.
Thorpe: Actually, at that point the standards of society will change so my opinions actually WILL be really offensive. I'll be like "they really should do something about all these pedophiles having sex with children in the streets," and everyone will blush and get really quiet, and I'll be like "what!?"
Zack: "Fucking manga!"
"Doctor" David Thorpe and Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons, regular contributors to Something Awful