Quotes / Mundane Utility

"I find it a little insulting that the two of you decided to create an entire army of look-alike robots to replace G.U.N. while we were being used as babysitters!"
Metal Sonic, Two Evil Scientists

Leonard: Why are you smashing a flash-frozen banana?
Leslie: Because I have a bowl of Cheerios and I couldn't find a knife.

Kiva: Oh, let me put all the processing power of this technological marvel to work adding up your change!
Jamie: That's the spirit!
Megas XLR, "All I Wanted Was A Slushie"

Aperture Science Engineer: man-sized ad hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain

I don't know what's funnier. That goofy look on Superboy's face, or the fact that the best use Martha Kent can think of to do with her super powers is house keeping...

You have a time machine and you use it for ... watching television?

Bobbi Anderson: It's like inventing a perpetual motion machine so your little kid won't pester you any more about changing the batteries in his toy car!
Stephen King, The Tommyknockers

Vivian: Huh. How'd you do that?
Ice Man: Do what?
Vivian: Make that ice floe.
Ice Man: Oh! I can generate intense cold for like ice beams and stuff.
Vivian: Oooooooh...
Ice Man: Yep!
(Ice Man freezes a corner of the pool)
Vivian: Must come in very handy around the house!
Ice Man: Our AC bill is really low during the summer.

Leela: Wow. Superpowers! I'll be able to pack my day with twice as many humdrum activities!
Futurama, "Less Than Hero"

"The fact that I was a necromancer made it pretty funny, though; I pictured the farmer's wife standing at the kitchen window, watching me chase moles out of the vegetable garden by summoning shadow-demons from the stygian pit to curse their very souls and then turning to her husband and going: "He does know we've got a spade he can use, right?""

"Finbar lamented the fact that his psychic powers could not ascertain who would win the All-Ireland Championship. What good were psychic powers, he asked, if they couldn't tell you who was going to win the Gaelic football?"

"Now, if you ask me, a real human brain mapped into a computer would be more like Max Headroom, using his newfound power to play music videos, yammer on about golf, and probably watch every porn flick on the Internet at once. Oh wait, I'm thinking of myself."
Topless Robot on Transcendence

Maiza: I've never heard of a demon using its powers so frivolously.
Ronnie: I enjoy breaking the mold.
Baccano!! 1933 - The Slash

New York City alternated between delighting her with its massive buildings, multi-colored, flashing billboards, the beauty of seeing so many different skin colors and languages blending together, and then disgusting her with how completely filthy the city could be.
A huge sheet of dirty water splashed toward her, but she directed it away with the flick of a wrist. Being a nymph had some perks. Her affinity with water had matured from the time she’d been bound to a single fresh water spring in an ancient Grecian forest.
Rock Hard and Wet, a supernatural romance novel

"Ordinarily, I'd light my cigar with a match! But do I need a match now? Certainly not! Not if I have super-powers!"
Jonathan Kent, Adventure Comics #289

Shinbo: If she kept going with that kind of diet, don't you think Kyoko would get fat?
Urobuchi: Probably won't. Thanks [to her] magical power.
— An interview with the creators of Puella Magi Madoka Magica

It is a truth universally acknowledged that nothing is more successful at inspiring a person to mischief as being told not to do something. Unfortunately, the Chantry of the Divine Age had some trouble with obvious truths. Although it did not outlaw magic—quite the contrary, as the Chantry relied upon magic to kindle the eternal flame which burns in every brazier in every chantry—it relegated mages to lighting candles and lamps. Perhaps occasional dusting of rafters and eaves.

I will give my readers a moment to contemplate how well such a role satisfied the mages of the time.
—"History of the Circle," Dragon Age: Origins

Ed: You put something inside the cylinder of wormholes, turn them on for a fraction of a second, turn them off again... what have you got?
Sam: ...The world's most ludicrously advanced bread-slicer?

Argent: You'd think that if you spent that much effort to get it you'd do something more destructive with it.
Khrima: When you get an orbital laser you can do whatever you want with it.