Quotes: Media Watchdog

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    Live-Action TV 

Mary Whitehouse has taken umbrage, no surprise there.
Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Election Night Special"


Fuck you very much, the FCC,
Fuck you very much for fining me.
Five thousand bucks a 'fuck',
So I'm really out of luck.
That's more than Heidi Fleiss was charging me
Eric Idle, "The FCC Song"

It's on the front page of the papers
This is their hour of need
Where's a policeman when you need one
To blame the colour TV?
Pet Shop Boys, "Suburbia"


Hello, I'm Miss Sensorshep, Head of Censorship! You see, the working theory is that most people are stupid, and therefore incapable of figuring out what's being covered up and bleeped, and therefore cannot be harmed by their evils!

    Web Original 

Oh, the NFL, where flashing a harmless lady nipple is an unforgivable sin, but abusing dogs and women isn’t.

JYD caught Randy Savage’s steel chair and proceeded to smash his own head into it eight times. If this were today’s WWE, Junkyard Dog would have been fined for each of those chair shots.

Gregg: Owing to its Nike-driven marketing focus, Oregon has led college sports both toward dazzling flashy uniforms and helmets, and toward scantily attired cheerleaders. Is the latter a good idea?
Drew: I dunno. Ask your boner. It’s probably been in need of attention since 1982.
Gregg: Professional cheerleaders ought to exude sex appeal. They are after all professionals, and the dancing girl who shows lots of skin has a long history in entertainment, at least as far back as vaudeville.
Drew: Is this a parody? Is this whole article written By Jon Lovitz in his Evelyn Quinn costume? WHY, BONERS GO BACK TO THE DAYS OF SHECKY GREENE IN THE POCONOS!
Gregg: They're adults legally, and sociologically more like grown-ups than kids.
Drew: Are you saying they’re not a girl, not yet a wommmannnnn?! That’s the kind of quality analysis that gets you a Brookings fellowship.

"Texas Preacher Declares ‘Vampire Knight’ Manga, Dried Roses To Be Satanic Works, Is Literally Villain From ‘Footloose’"

The PTC aims to ensure that nothing entertaining, such as Family Guy, will be shown on television so that parents can safely use the television as a way of raising their kids without having to pay that much attention (they actually have a real beef with Family Guy, American Dad!, Cleveland Show, Bob's Burgers, Simpsons, and so on, which are consistently deemed to be the ”worst TV shows of the week”). PTC’s main strategy is to get their fans to flood the FCC with complaints, sometimes adorned with Bible verses...Here’s his take on Glee, which basically complaints that people who bully homosexuals are not depicted as heroes. And here is his declaration that Lady Gaga and Conan O'Brien the two biggest ”losers” of 2011 for their “eagerness to shred traditional values.”

In private life Bozell is an ardent Catholic who has denounced The Da Vinci Code as ”viciously anti-catholic”. But then again, that is pretty much his description of anything he doesn’t immediately fancy.
Encyclopedia of American Loons on L. Brent Bozell III

Jesus-is-savior.com is a nutty Jack Chick-style (probably nuttier, if you can imagine such a thing) fundamentalist Christian website...'Oprah is the Most Dangerous Woman in the World!' because she is a New Ager. The most dangerous soul-destroying television show ever is apparently Hee Haw.

Although the fight was lost, I for one want to salute the anonymous patron for fighting the good fight and lobbying for this book to be banned. I am a father, and like many fathers I live in mortal fear of my children attacking me. There’s already an unspoken tension between us. I’m getting older and weaker, they’re getting bigger and stronger. I don’t need lunatics like Dr. Seuss exacerbating that tension with lines such as 'We like to hop. We like to hop on top of Pop.'
The Screamsheet in response to a Toronto petition to ban Hop on Pop from public libraries

The Hinchcliffe era got instant marquee value by casting the unbelievably charming and charismatic theatre actor Tom Baker as The Doctor and winning over a sceptical audience almost immediately...Although it didn't always completely work, the Hinchcliffe era was incredibly bold, confidant and forward-thinking and remains the most popular of the Classic Series eras.
Sadly, it was not to last: Phillip Hinchcliffe's steadfast refusal to shy away from the more overtly adult horror aspects of the genre he was playing with a roused the ire of media watchdog, moral guardian and professional buzzkill Mary Whitehouse, who claimed Hinchliffe's version of Doctor Who was 'poisoning the youth', dubbing it 'teatime brutality for tots'. Rather than stand up for its staff and ideals, the BBC, in one of its more reprehensible moves, turned Hinchcliffe into a sacrificial lamb and fired him after three years to appease Whitehouse. "''
Soda Pop Art, "An Introduction t Classic Doctor Who"

June 7, 2010: During the main event of RAW between CM Punk and John Cena, all the rookies who had been on NXT Season One jump Punk and Cena together as a unit, all wearing black armbands with a yellow N on them...During the attack, Daniel Bryan strangled ring announcer Justin Roberts with his own necktie...Daniel Bryan was legit released from the WWE the next day for his use of the tie, because people thought it was too similar to how Chris Benoit murdered his family. This caused the Internet to go into a complete and utter meltdown. The story in kayfabe was that Daniel Bryan felt remorse for his action and thus Nexus kicked him out of the group. This predictably placed Bryan in extremely high demand on the indie scene and was widely mocked by pretty much every other promotion out there. His first post-WWE indie appearance, for CHIKARA, saw the crowd greet him by hurling ties instead of streamers, to his great amusement.
Taimapedia on Necktiegate

You’ve got to love how much controversy surrounded this book at the time with the Doctor (Shudder! Gasp!) taking magic mushrooms to contact the Blue. I was 13 at the time this book was released and I have to say after reading it I was a regular user and always high as a kite trying to contact mind controlling aliens. Christ! Give children some bloody respect! The Doctor has since murdered people (The Burning) and married and set up shop in a whorehouse (both in The Adventuress of Henrietta Street) but nobody got in a tizzy about that.
Joe Ford on Doctor Who New Adventures, The Left-Handed Hummingbird

This is a classic. Two Fundamentalists get their panties in a bunch over mystical themes in cartoons and toys... It also makes me kind of jealous, seeing as how frickin' lame and depressing the toys we 70s latchkey types had to suffer with were. I don't know what's going on in Cartoonland these days (my kids are all too old for this stuff now, alas) but I have a feeling that political correctness and general malaise has probably accomplished what religious hysteria could not and ruined a lot of the fun for kids.
Christopher Loring Knowles on Gary Greenwald's Deception of a Generation

Oh yes, much like the Chick Tracts warned us, D&D was my enticing entry point to a world of decadent sin and NEEEEEEEERDery...Which might make it more ironic that the first group to get me into the tumbling die was a group of Evangelical kids. Sure, they may have tweaked the rules so that magic was actually just psionics (because apparently an omniscient ruler of the Universe with a hate-on for anything even hinting of the dark vile forces of magick is also apparently easily fooled by a simple search and replace… no no see, my fictional character is setting things on fire with their brain, not random fictional magical powers, so we’re all good)

The Motion Picture Association of America is less than pleased about a new poster for directors Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller’s new Sin City film adaptation, A Dame to Kill For. The poster depicts the title character, Ava Lord, played by actress Eva Green, wearing a sheer gown that doesn’t really cover all that much. Specifially, the MPAA complained about the 'curve of under breast and dark nipple/areola circle visible through sheer gown.'
Reading a Frank Miller comic would probably make the MPAA’s collective head explode.

We start out with a parental discretion warning. I've whined about this before. The last time they did this was when Lionel put a gun to his head and contemplated suicide because he was going to die in pain. Because, you know, that's not something someone might do or something a kid might have to one day confront on their own. Something that parents might WANT to have brought before their kids, given the high rate of suicide in teenagers. Y'know.
Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Crisis")

    Web Video 

Boy, am I glad they cut that last shot out of the theatrical version. I hate it when my slasher movies contain slashings in them. Just as I hate comedies that don't cut out the funny parts.

    Western Animation 

They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this:
They will make you take a "tinkle" when you wanna take a piss,
And they'll make you call fellatio a "trouser-friendly kiss"!
It's the plain situation
There's no negotiation
With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

It's my job to protect you, the viewer, from reality.
Network Censor, The Simpsons.

    Real Life 

To hold a pen is to be at war.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

Harry's world says that drinking dead animal blood gives power, a satanic human sacrifice and Harry's powerful blood brings new life, demon possession is not spiritually dangerous, and that passing through fire, contacting the dead, and conversing with ghosts, others in the spirit world, and more, is normal and acceptable.
Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged

Through this material, today's youth can be stimulated to sexual activities for which he has no legitimate outlet. He is even enticed to enter the world of Homosexuals, Lesbians, Sadists, Masochists, and other sex deviants. The psychiatric terms for these unnatural sex acts are unknown to most decent adults in our country. But through these solicitous materials, these abnormalities are corrupting the minds and the hearts of our children. Perversion for profit!
George Putnam, arguing for censorship in Perversion for Profit (1965)

I have been reading Prescott again and in a changing world it is good to know that the Good Grey Goose of the Times is unchanged. He still gives marks to novels not for style nor insight nor wisdom nor art, but for 'morality.' Are these nice people? Is this a nice author? Adultery, premarital intercourse, aberration, are wicked things nice people don’t do and if an author does not firmly put them down and opt for marriage and fidelity the offending work must go. Prescott’s favorite pejorative adjective is 'dull.' Lolita, he declared with more than usual horror, was 'dull, dull, dull!' Now Lolita was many things, but it was never dull. It was also literature, a category peculiarly mystifying to Prescott... To the average American the word 'morality' means sex, period. If you don’t cheat on your wife, you’re moral.
Gore Vidal on New York Times critic Orville Prescott

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.
Kurt Vonnegut (attributed)

When we elected Ronald Reagan and the conservatives decided that they would decide not just what their children would read but what all children would read, it went crazy. My feeling in the beginning was wait, this is America: we don't have censorship, we have, you know, freedom to read, freedom to write, freedom of the press, we don't do this, we don't ban books. But then they did.
Judy Blume, author

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
Dick Cavett

So it was time for me to get a script assignment and I started to do 'Blood and Fire,' because I wanted to do something so far removed from funny. I wanted to show I could do something horrifying. Here is something about this disease that is so awful that we are not allowed to rescue anyone from that other ship, but we don’t find out until after our away team has already beamed over...the story wasn’t about AIDS as much as it was about the fear of AIDS. People had stopped donating blood because they were so afraid of AIDS. So I wanted to do a story that involved blood donorship and the whole story was structured that we would need blood donors from the Enterprise to show that the crewmembers were not afraid of donating blood. I even wanted us to put a card at the end of the episode saying you can donate blood, contact your local Red Cross...I go off to a Star Trek cruise and come back to find there has been a clusterfuck. Rick Berman writes that we can’t do this episode and how we are on at 4PM in some markets and mommies are going to write letters.

People threaten my life and tell me what a cow I am....There’s a lot of people I love on Twitter, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you you should be buried under a pile of rocks.
Lena Dunham, executive producer of Girls, on quitting Twitter

Guess what, for all the fans who complain that the US Toku shows have no balls... well, it’s not that we don’t want to; there are standards and practices that we have to abide by for network television. So it’s just not legal to show these things in a kid show in the US and that’s not negotiable. Trust me, we tried and we did manage to push some stuff through, you’ll see, but guns held at kids' heads and people dying? No can do.
Steven Wang, Executive Producer of Kamen Rider Dragon Knight

Press conference yielded the usual crop of daftness. I've been asked if I related personally to Carrington's tortured relationship with sex and replied that no, not really, I'd had a very pleasant time since I was fifteen. This elicited very disapproving copy from the Brits... No wonder people think don't have sex in England.
Emma Thompson, Bringing Jane Austen's Novel to Film

I grew up watching cowboy movies, loved doing that ["pew pew" gesture] with my fingers, 'Bang, bang, you're dead!' I didn't end up a killer.

Tell you what: Kiss my ass! How do you like that?
Frank Zappa, replying to being called an "idiot" because of his opposition to censorship, Crossfire debate (1986)

If you believe that I'm a cop killer, you believe David Bowie is an astronaut.

I am truly amazed that after all this time, religious groups still need to attack entertainment and use these tragedies as a pitiful excuse for their own self-serving publicity. In response to their protests, I will provide a show where I balance my songs with a wholesome Bible reading. This way, fans will not only hear my so-called, 'violent' point of view, but we can also examine the virtues of wonderful 'Christian' stories of disease, murder, adultery, suicide and child sacrifice.

Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend?

The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable only to the President, decided all on its own that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. I'd like to repeat that because it sounds vaguely important. The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable only to the President, decided all on its own that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the free speech Amendment of the Constitution.