Quotes / Jerkass Woobie

Ice King: "Why do people not like me? Is it because I'm a magic-user? Or is my beard too shaggy? *Sigh* I try so hard to be a good husband for girls. What's wrong with me?"
The Cosmic Owl: "Hoooo! You're a sociopath."

You need someone to take care of you, you need to be part of something, to feel alive again. You are pathetic, and not even the kind of sweet, idealized pathetic that would make someone take pity on you. No, you are the bitter, obnoxious, desperate kind of pathetic, and you know it.

I want my innocence back
And if you can't give it to me
I will cut you down
Emilie Autumn, I Want My Innocence Back

Darkened eyes you'll see, / there is no hope, no savior in me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way, / don't stare this way, anymore)
Learned from years gone by, no one will care, / what happens to me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way, / don't stare this way, anymore)
I'm alone in here / No more feelings
Killed my fears / Don't ask
you'll never know / you're left behind, I'll be exposed
Far away, you keep on trying... / Holding me down, breaking away,
trying to distance my life. / Not one in the crowd, but one with the answer
the one that could change your mind / It's not true, I don't need you
Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine / I'm not your friend, won't soothe your soul
And in the end you're all dead to me...

"Let me out of here! I have a fashion show to ruin! I was finally, finally gonna outshine Barbie and feel good about myself for once in my entire life!"

"You're a bitch, but I love you anyway."
Bowling for Soup, "The Bitch Song"

"Is it okay if I exist? *silence* .... PLEASE CARE ABOUT ME! ... Nobody cares about me... Everyone can just die."
— Shinji Ikari, The End of Evangelion

"Nobody loves me! Why should I love the dog?"
Mikhail Korovin, Laika

Your face is as mean / As your life has been

Hey how come I'm in that trope?
The Nostalgia Critic, Why is Loki So Hot?

"I should like to put it on record that I have never been able to dislike Hitler.... The fact is that there is something deeply appealing about him. One feels it again when one sees his photographs—and I recommend especially the photograph at the beginning of Hurst and Blackett's edition, which shows Hitler in his early Brownshirt days. It is a pathetic, dog-like face, the face of a man suffering intolerable wrongs.... He is the martyr, the victim, Prometheus chained to the rock, the self-sacrificing hero who fights single-handed against impossible odds. If he were killing a mouse he would know how to make it seem like a dragon."

"The best way to not get your heart broken is to pretend you don't have one."

"You amaze me, Mike. You manage to inspire both great sympathy and rage by all those around you. Sometimes both at the same time. When you die, I hope they examine your brain to find out why... and I really hope they let me be the one to rip it out."
Aubrey, Something*Positive.

"You have no ability to feel and you are going to die alone and miserable."
Kenny's Will describing Eric Cartman from South Park

"I bet if he had just one friend, he wouldn't be such a meanie."
Spongebob Squarepants, about Plankton in the episode "F.U.N."

"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most."

Rainbow Dash: I just want to be loved for once at the gala.
The Choir: No pony likes Rainbow Dash / Because she is annoying / But now I kind of pity her / No wait, the feeling has passed.

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
behind blue eyes

He must be so lonely. He must be so sad.
He's really a victim of fear and of pride.

"Jack Colquitt sat alone in his apartment at Christmas. He believed in sacrifice. Yet, some nights, he longed for a second chance..."
The Cigarette-Smoking Man, on himself from The X-Files

"I know a little of this man Sandor Clegane. He was prince Joffrey's sworn shield for many a year, and even here we would hear tell of his deeds, both good and ill."
"If even half of what we heard was true, this was a bitter, tormented soul, a sinner who mocked both gods and men. He served, but found no pride in service. He fought, but took no joy in victory. He drank, to drown his pain in a sea of wine. He did not love, nor was he loved himself. It was hate that drove him. Though he committed many sins, he never sought forgiveness."
"Where other men dream of love, or wealth, or glory, this man Sandor Clegane dreamed of slaying his own brother, a sin so terrible it makes me shudder just to speak of it. Yet that was the bread that nourished him, the fuel that kept his fires burning. Ignoble as it was the hope of seeing his brother's blood upon his blade was all this sad and angry creature lived for...and even that was taken away when Prince Oberyn of Dorne stabbed Ser Gregor with a poisoned spear."
Elder Brother, regarding Sandor Clegane, A Feast for Crows.

"I've been attached to them since the day of my 'birth'. Obviously I connected with them, created a bond...but for some reason, my temper always got the best of me. I don't know why. We've never been this far apart before, it's weird...I feel so empty."
Tangle, Koili's ask blog for Brothers Of Circuits.

"So, he was lashing out with sexist language because he had his heart broken. We all learned something."
Bo Burnham, on his poem "I Fuck Sluts"

"He is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment."
Kryten on Rimmer

"You're such an angry girl, Helga. And you won't let anyone help you. So you have to live with your unhappiness."
Inga, from the Hey Arnold! episode Helga and the Nanny

Trash: "What are you trying to steal from me?"
Whatamess: "I, I wasn't stealing. I'm here to give you something."
Whatamess: "Well, I'm not trying to altru anything, either. I just wanted to give you a Christmas present. Kinda like Santa would."
Trash: "You expect me to believe that?"
Whatamess: *pulls out a present* "Merry Christmas?"
Trash: *in awe* No kidding? I.......you know......*about to cry*.....like I've never had one of these before....."

"Tiger is an emotional wreck and responds to his problems by being a jerk"
Obbl, Housepets! Forum.

Cosmo: I don't know, Wanda. She may be miserable, but we've seen plenty of times at school where she's honestly being a heartless, stuck-up witch!
Wanda: And we both know that she's a slave to popularity and has an over-bearing mother, which prevents her from expressing her sensitive, tomboyish, nice side in an appropriate manner!

Dorothy: Know what? You don't got game enough to be wicked. All you are is plain old, everyday, passable mean.
Evillene: Well, if I'm mean, what does that make you?
Dorothy: Don't make me nothing.
Evillene: Think not? Which one of us dropped a house on the other one's sister? And which one of us yanked the silver heels right off of that dead sister's not-even-cold-yet feet? And which one of us gathered up a crew to put a hit on the other one? You're three for three, little girl, so before you go casting' shade, I'd take myself a good look in the mirror.