My name is James Bond and I love to get plastered
I bang heaps of bitches 'cause I'm a smooth bastard
I tell them I love them, then I fuck off back to London
On my jetpack! That's how I roll.
I need heaps of gadgets 'cause I carry a shit gun
After killing my enemies I like to make shit puns
Like the time I asked a guy who was crushed by a milk truck
"Got milk?" as he died.
— His Name is James Bond (NSFW)
"I might as well ask you if all those vodka martinis ever silence the screams of all the men you've killed... or if you find forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women for all the dead ones you failed to protect."
— Alec Trevelyan, Golden Eye
Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Andrew: We're real supervillains now, like... Doctor No!
Warren: Yes, back when Bond was Connery and movies were decent!
Jonathan: Who even remembers Connery? Roger Moore was smooth.
Warren: You're insane. You're short, and you're insane.
Bond: In my business you prepare for the unexpected.
Franz Sanchez: And what business is that?
Bond: I help people with problems.
Sanchez: Problem solver.
Bond: More of a problem eliminator.
"You are professional. You do not kill without reason."
— General Leonid Pushkin, The Living Daylights
"Hey, limey. What's your name?"
"Bond. James Bond."
"That's a pretty chump name."