"NOTICE: This page was not 'hacked', it was 'hijacked', completely legal, we just unadmined the old admins."
— Christian Beadles., Facebook page
"I'm not a 'crazed gunman', dad, I'm an assassin! Well, the difference being, one is a job, and the other's mental sickness!"
Granddad: Now hold up, Slickback...
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, that's "A Pimp Named Slickback".
Granddad: That's what I said! Slickback!
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, no! It's "A Pimp Named Slickback!" Like A Tribe Called Quest; you say the whole thing! "A Pimp Named Slickback!"
Granddad: Can't I just call you Slickback for short?
A Pimp Named Slickback: NO, nigga! I'm "A Pimp Named Slickback!"
Granddad: Cristal, who is this person?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Nigga, are you deaf? I'm A Pimp Named Slickback! Say it with me now!!
— The Boondocks, "Guess Hoes Coming To Dinner"
"I don't like this word 'bomb'. It is not a bomb but a device that is exploding."
— French Ambassador Jacques Leblanc, on nuclear weapons
Tony Greig: The Australians, too, looking resplendent in their bright canary yellow, here.
Bill Lawry: Canary yellow? That's Australian gold, my friend, and don't you fucking forget it! "Canary yellow", indeed!
— Twelfth Man Again
"Call me a treasure hunter or I'll rip your lungs out!"
"It's not pink, it's lightish red!"
— Private Donut, Red vs. Blue
"Well, now we're just arguing semantics."
"We are not 'arguing semantics!' We are having a difference of opinion regarding terminology."
"Write it in English, not in Pentagonese. It's not a launcher, rifle cartridge, 7.62mm; its a rifle. Call it a compass, not a direction-finding module. And if someone insists on being called AdComPhibsPac, the Fact File should explain to those not gifting in garblespeak that he's talking about the administrative office of the communication services for amphibious forces in the Pacific."
— Preface to The United States Department of Defense Fact File
Dillon: Right, because nothing says 'covert' like bright red, yellow, and blue spandex.
Summer: Doc K can get a little defensive about his work.
Dr. K: The material is a self-assembling nanofiber formed with an inter-cellular shape memory alloy.
Phil: Not to mention she fucked a bellhop on a cruise ship!
Scott: What do you mean 'what eyes'? Right there—the front of our Zords.
Dr. K: They are not 'eyes.' They are optical field scanning sensors for your cockpit's HUD display.
Scott: Well, they look like ... well, they look ... like...
Dillon: They look like eyes!
Ziggy: Big, googly anime eyes.
D'Argo: You cloned me!
Kaavork: Not the word “clone,” please. I doubled you. I... "twinned" you. Two D’Argos, equal and original... and tasty.
— Farscape, "Eat Me"
Sam: So, what do you think of all these Samulacra running around?
Phoenix Wright: So, how did this guy die?
Rainbow Dash: Pony...
Phoenix Wright: Wha...?
Rainbow Dash: "How did this pony die?" is what you mean, Nix.
Phoenix Wright: (Well excuse me, I didn't take "Hooked on Ponyics")
Mario: You didn't tell me you were bringing a secret weapon, Luigi!
Luigi: That's ''Mama'' Luigi to you, Mario! [wheeze]
— Super Mario World cartoon
"I know you prefer Abduction, but the proper word is Rape. It's short and businesslike."
— El Gallo, The Fantasticks
Mrs. Van Schuyler: You perfectly foul French upstart!
Hercule Poirot: Belgian upstart, please, madame.
Lisa: Wait a second... you planted a phony skeleton for me to find! This was all a big hoax!
Businessman: Heh heh heh, not a hoax; a publicity stunt!
- The Simpsons episode Lisa The Skeptic.
Store Clerk: Can I help you?
Samantha: Yes, I'd like to return this vibrator.
Store Clerk: We don't sell vibrators.
Samantha: Yes you do, I bought it here six months ago.
Store Clerk: That's not a vibrator, it's a neck massager.
Samantha: No, it's a vibrator.
Store Clerk: Sharper Image doesn't sell vibrators, it's a neck massager.
Samantha: You expect me to believe women buy these to help their sore necks?
Store Clerk: It's a neck massager.
Samantha: Fine, I'd like to return this "neck massager".
Store Clerk: What's wrong with it?
Samantha: It failed to get me off.
— Sex and the City, Critical Condition
Peter: Don't say "retard," Chris; we prefer to be called "little people."
— Family Guy, "Petarded"
Michael: So, this is the magic trick huh?
GOB: Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. (Camera pans to children standing by.) (Beat) or cocaine!
— Arrested Development, Pilot
Simon: So you're a bounty hunter?
Early: No, that ain't it at all.
Simon: Then what are you?
Early: I'm a bounty hunter.
Simon: That's what I said.
Early: Yeah, but you didn't say it well.
— Firefly, Objects in Space''
“Very well, Robot, if you wish to continue with this foolishness note ,” he said, “You have one chance. Fail and you will be disassembled. I challenge you to summon a harpy from the fourth dimension.”
“The terms are acceptable,” I said, “But I am an android, not a robot.”
“A first year spell? Henry, really,” Mistress Cassandra Starlight said.
“Robots can't cast spells,” he said, “Science has gone too far, trying to make these things believe they can be human. Besides it will be amusing to watch it try to break through the barrier. And if by some miracle, it does, it needs a soul to break the tether binding the Harpy to its dimension.”
Josh: I see won't be talking about the 993 tax cut.
Leo: We won't be. But we've agreed to call it "tax relief" instead of a "tax cut".
Josh: We're calling it tax relief?
Josh: But we won't be talking about it?
Josh: Leo, the Patient's Bill of Rights—
Leo: Which we'll be referring to as the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act.
Sam: What's the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act?
Leo: It's the Patient's Bill of Rights, but the CARA was introduced in 1999. It's fundamentally the same thing and the Republicans have agreed to discuss changing the name back.
Josh: In exchange for calling tax breaks "tax relief".
Leo: Or "income enhancement".
Toby: (throws his hands up in frustration) I'm in a musical!
Leo: Getting it renamed for the old bill is a hell of a concession.
Toby: Leo, I'm gonna check in with you for a second, OK?
Toby: Sick people... not getting proper medical care... because they can't afford it... probably don't care that we've agreed to change the name of the bill.
Leo: We've agreed to discuss changing the name of the bill.
—Classic example from The West Wing, ep.2x11: "The Leadership Breakfast"