Stan: The new baby could be the son I never had.
Steve: Alive over here.
Stan: He could be brave and hold my back. I'll name him something strong, Steve.
Steve: Already named Steve over here.
— American Dad!, "The Unbrave One"
Groo: You are truly a goddess.
Cordelia: Well, demonness, anyway. Sure beats horns and a tail.
Lorne: Hey! I'm Standing Right Here.
Colin: May I ask why you befriended that mongoloid? Granted Eugene, Tyler, and I have achieved some form of stability despite our diverse personalities, but yourself and Master Chief strike me as polar opposites.
Arbiter: Neither of us really had a choice in the matter. Circumstance threw us together. Kept us together. Forced us to dig for friends in one another. Even if they weren't to be found. The only thing worse than being around him is being alone.
Colin: I can respect that. Though I pity the shit out of you for the fact that your selection of company begins and ends with somebody whose smarts can be put to shame by a fucking glass of water.
Arbiter: Don't remind me.
Master Chief: im rite h33r, u fucking assholes
Remus: Can you change us back now? And put an end to the most humiliating experience of my life?
Tonks: You slept with Bellatrix.
Remus: Fine. Second most humiliating.
Xander: Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you wanna kill Anya!
Buffy: I don't want to.
Xander: Then don't! This isn't new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them.
Willow: Sitting right here...!
Xander: I'm sorry. But it's true.
FBI Agent: If you're not sleeping with him, why do you keep him around?
Castle: You know I can hear you.
Max: Don't talk to me like I'm not right here!
Max's mother: What's he saying?
Vincent: He says he's right here, in the room.
Max's mother: Why yes, you are!
L: Oh, Matsuda's acting stupid again.
Light: Well that's his specialty.
Matsuda: I can hear you, ya'know.
Asok: You said that right in front of him.
Alice: He only listens when he's talking.
(the boss smiles peacefully)
Ohgren: So, you and the Grey Warden, huh?
Morrigan: I hope you're not referring to Alistair.
Oghren: Him? Does he even like girls?
Morrigan: (amused) I believe the matter is still up for debate.
Alistair: I'm right here, you know.
Hawke: I imagine if we did this, it'd be together, wouldn't it?
Tallis: That's the idea, or did you... have something else in mind?
Anders: I am standing right here, arn't I?
Hawke: I just think we should get to know one another.
Chandler: Can you people not see me?
Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
Rachel's boss: Should I call him? Or would that be sad and desperate, something Sophie would do?
Sophie: Um, I'm right here.
Rachel's boss: I know.
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: Well, I said it out loud!
Byakuya (to Rukia): It is for the honor of the Kuchiki household, Rukia. Make sure the boy is aware of the large dowry that you have. Common people can be easily swayed by monetary gain.
Ichigo: I'm less than five feet away from you.
Byakuya (to Ichigo): Very good. I see that you are able to judge distance.
Harry: This is, I don't even, he's not blackmailing you or anything? Why are you with him? You're not acting like you even like him.
Ginny: No, I don't. He's like potato chips: a fat lump of nothing and you'd be happier if they'd never existed, but pathologically addictive.
Draco: I'm right here, you know.
Ginny: Yes, I do know.
House: Foreman's not as easy as Cameron, but of course, who is?
Cameron: I'm in the room.
Kenneth: So, Gabby, what d'you think of our new quarian boss?
Gabby: Hush! She's right over there!
Kenneth: Ah, she can't hear us with her head in that bucket. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful bucket; the whole suit is lovely, quite snug in all the right places.
Tali: You know I can hear you.
Skwisgaar: Just let me record it. Each take gets worse. He's slowly learning how to un-play the guitar.
Toki: I can hear that, the talk-back mike is on.
Skwisgaar: Pickle, please let me know when the talk-back mike is on so Mr. Sensitives doesn't go to cry-baby's house for vacation.
Toki: I can stills hear you.
Skwisgaar: So what do you want, a be-able-to-hear-things award?
Toki: Eh, not really. Doesn't sound like a greats award, to be honest.
Narcissa: Harry we're not going to harm you. At least I have no intention to, and the Dark Lord wouldn't kill you after all that he's done to make you better.
Harry: I'm not so sure about that, Mrs. Malfoy.
Narcissa: Please Harry, call me Narcissa.
Voldemort: I'm still here, you know.
Twilight: Wow, everybody really hates Rainbow Dash, don't they?
Rarity: Yeah, we hate her more than we hate that stupid cow, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight: But, I'm Twilight Sparkle!
Rarity: I know.
— "Copywrong", Ultra Fast Pony
Rainbow: Uh, guys, we need to find a nice way of telling Rarity these dresses look like ass.
Rarity: You know I can hear you, right?
Rainbow: Nevermind, guys, I think she already heard me say that the dresses look like ass.
— "Little Miss Montage", Ultra Fast Pony
Jackass PC: Our teammate is angry and our psychologist is broken so she can't fix him.
Psychologist: I'm right here!
Jackass: I realize that, but you are completely useless at the moment.
— From this forum thread
"We want you to live with us, Warren," he repeated. "Otherwise, we might have to ask Zach."
He cracked a smile, but he still stared at them. "I just don't think it will work."
"Why?" Layla demanded, her normally ironclad patience wearing thin. "It's not because Will and I are dating, is it? I'll dump him right now."
Lisa: Hi Mark, I need to talk to you.
Critic (as Johnny): Oh god, are you serious?!
Lisa: Don't worry about Johnny, he's just being a big baby.
Critic (as Johnny): I'm standing right here, man!
Lisa: You know I love you very much.
Critic (as Johnny): You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
Bender: Ah, the point is, it's all Morgan's fault. That pencil-pushing scazwag, why, if she were here, I'd... uh oh, is she behind me?
Morgan: No. I'm in front of you. (camera shifts inches to the right)
Bender: (high pitched squeal)
Shodan: True. But the cops are also stupid, and think Der Trihs faked that attack somehow.
Policeman: I'm standing right here.
Shodan: Oh, good. That means you heard me.
Schlock: "Just fine without me." How do you talk about me when I'm not listening?
Tagon: We joke about how that shade of green makes you look fat.