"To improvise a weapon, you have to understand the basic principles behind whatever you're making. A gun, for example, is just a barrel and a firing pin, while a time-delay bomb can be as simple as a corrosive chemical, an oxidizing agent, and something to keep them from mixing together long enough to keep from blowing your hands off."
"I'll kill you with my teacup."
— Riddick, The Chronicles of Riddick
"We must improvise. The world is full of weapons waiting to be used."
— Tai Kaliso, Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant
"Shit, there's a lot of things you could use to kill a guy with. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday New York Times, couldn't you?"
Farrel: You just killed a hellicopter with a car!
McClane: I was out of bullets.
"Did you know that, at 400 miles per hour, soccer balls can decapitate people?"
Zeetha: You just said: "No weapons."
Higgs: That wasn't a weapon, that was a chair.
Zeetha: Well then! Give me a chair!
Higgs: Comin' up.
"Depending on how hardcore you are about making trips to the Home Depot every weekend, this place can potentially be literally covered from wall to wall with diabolical instruments so pointy and menacing that it makes some of those pussy-ass Spanish Inquisition torture chambers look like an inflatable bounce house at a six-year-old's birthday party."
"This needle-sized ninja sword is too small to use as a weapon. Well, it's too small to use as an effective weapon. Pretty much anything can be used as an ineffective weapon."
As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, they gonna wish we hadn't.
— Coach, Left 4 Dead 2
"Harry invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry lost his rag, reached for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a fifteen-inch black rubber cock. He then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it."
Kung-Fu Cowboy minion: [does a bunch of kicks] "I learned that from a Chinaman!"
West: [picks up a shovel and knocks him out in one hit] "I just made that up!"
—Wild Wild West
"If a minifig can't find a real weapon, Random Objects are better than nothing, although this is only because having nothing sucks to such an impressive degree."
—Brikwars Manual on what to do when disarmed.