History Quotes / ImprovisedWeapon

20th May '16 6:34:44 PM Lopiny
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->'''Ben:''' Whoa! I am... ''pretty'' sure you shouldn't have a weapon at work.
->'''Ron:''' Literally everything is a weapon, son. That folder in my hands is much deadlier than this bow in yours.
->'''Ben:''' Oh, that's... probably true.
-->-- ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''. Keep in mind Ron has an enormous crossbow in his hands for this particular conversation
14th May '16 9:39:29 AM nombretomado
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-->-- ''JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"

to:

-->-- ''JackieChanAdventures'', ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"
25th Apr '16 12:56:58 PM Discar
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-->-- '''Riddick''', '''''Film/TheChroniclesOfRiddick'''''

to:

-->-- '''Riddick''', '''''Film/TheChroniclesOfRiddick'''''
''Film/TheChroniclesOfRiddick''



-->-- '''Tai Kaliso''', '''''[[GearsOfWar Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant]]'''''

->'''Farrel:''' You just killed a hellicopter with a car!
->'''[=McClane=]:''' I was out of bullets.
-->--'''''Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard'''''

->You used ''[[CrateExpectations a crate?]]'' I mean, really, ''a crate?''
-->-- '''Neutral''', '''''TwoKinds'''''

to:

-->-- '''Tai Kaliso''', '''''[[GearsOfWar ''[[GearsOfWar Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant]]'''''

Remnant]]''

->'''Farrel:''' You just killed a hellicopter helicopter with a car!
->'''[=McClane=]:'''
car!\\
'''[=McClane=]:'''
I was out of bullets.
-->--'''''Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard'''''

->You
-->-- ''Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard''

->"''You
used ''[[CrateExpectations '''[[CrateExpectations a crate?]]'' crate?]]''' I mean, really, ''a crate?''
'''a crate?'''''"
-->-- '''Neutral''', '''''TwoKinds'''''
''TwoKinds''



-->--'''Steven Heck''', '''''AlphaProtocol'''''

to:

-->--'''Steven Heck''', '''''AlphaProtocol'''''
''AlphaProtocol''



-->--'''[[http://www.itswalky.com/d/20030925.html Sal]]''', '''''[[WalkyVerse It's Walky]]'''''

->'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Zeetha]]:''' You just said: "No weapons."
->'''[[{{Determinator}} Higgs]]:''' That wasn't a ''weapon'', that was a ''chair''.
->'''Zeetha:''' Well then! Give me a ''chair''!
->'''Higgs:''' Comin' up.
''*later*''
->'''Zeetha:''' Tankard! Not a weapon!
-->-- '''''Webcomic/GirlGenius'''''

to:

-->--'''[[http://www.-->-- '''[[http://www.itswalky.com/d/20030925.html Sal]]''', '''''[[WalkyVerse ''[[WalkyVerse It's Walky]]'''''

Walky]]''

->'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Zeetha]]:''' You just said: "No weapons."
->'''[[{{Determinator}}
"\\
'''[[{{Determinator}}
Higgs]]:''' That wasn't a ''weapon'', that was a ''chair''.
->'''Zeetha:'''
''chair''.\\
'''Zeetha:'''
Well then! Give me a ''chair''!
->'''Higgs:'''
''chair!''\\
'''Higgs:'''
Comin' up.
''*later*''
->'''Zeetha:'''
up.\\
''[later]''\\
'''Zeetha:'''
Tankard! Not a weapon!
-->-- '''''Webcomic/GirlGenius'''''
''Webcomic/GirlGenius''



-->-- '''''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'''''

->As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, [[ZombieApocalypse they]] [[BatterUp gonna]] [[FryingPanOfDoom wish]] [[AnAxeToGrind we]] [[ChainsawGood hadn't.]]
-->-- '''''Coach, VideoGame/Left4Dead2'''''

to:

-->-- '''''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'''''

->As
''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing''

->''"As
long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, [[ZombieApocalypse they]] [[BatterUp gonna]] [[FryingPanOfDoom wish]] [[AnAxeToGrind we]] [[ChainsawGood hadn't.]]
]]"''
-->-- '''''Coach, VideoGame/Left4Dead2'''''
''Coach, VideoGame/Left4Dead2''



-->-- '''[[Creator/JasonStatham Bacon]]''', '''''Film/LockStockAndTwoSmokingBarrels'''''

->'''[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot Kung-Fu Cowboy]] [[{{Mook}} minion]]:''' ''[[IKnowKarate [does a bunch of kicks]]]'' "I learned that from a Chinaman!"\\
'''West:''' ''[picks up [[ShovelStrike a shovel]] and knocks him out in one hit]'' "[[CombatPragmatist I just made that up!]]"

to:

-->-- '''[[Creator/JasonStatham Bacon]]''', '''''Film/LockStockAndTwoSmokingBarrels'''''

''Film/LockStockAndTwoSmokingBarrels''

->'''[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot Kung-Fu Cowboy]] [[{{Mook}} minion]]:''' ''[[IKnowKarate [does a bunch of kicks]]]'' "I I learned that from a Chinaman!"\\
Chinaman!\\
'''West:''' ''[picks up [[ShovelStrike a shovel]] and knocks him out in one hit]'' "[[CombatPragmatist [[CombatPragmatist I just made that up!]]"up!]]



->''If a minifig can't find a real weapon, Random Objects are better than nothing, although this is only because having nothing sucks to such an impressive degree.''
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Brikwars}} Manual'' on what to do when disarmed.

to:

->''If ->''"If a minifig can't find a real weapon, Random Objects are better than nothing, although this is only because having nothing sucks to such an impressive degree.''
"''
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Brikwars}} Manual'' on what to do when disarmed.
disarmed



-->-- '''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', "Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet"

to:

-->-- '''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', "Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet"



->''"Where the book really shines is its tips on creating makeshift weapons using only the crap found on a plane. For example, here's how to arts 'n' crafts an ordinary Coke can into a dagger... they give tips on crushing terrorist windpipes with the edge of a meal tray! Why the hell not!?"''\\
'''Stewardess:''' '''''[[BondOneLiner THIS is the deal with airline food!]]'''''
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-real-survival-guides-for-wildly-improbable-situations/#ixzz31qEDN25w "4 Real Survival Guides For Improbably Situations"]]

to:

->''"Where ->'''Seanbaby:''' Where the book really shines is its tips on creating makeshift weapons using only the crap found on a plane. For example, here's how to arts 'n' crafts an ordinary Coke can into a dagger... they give tips on crushing terrorist windpipes with the edge of a meal tray! Why the hell not!?"''\\
not!?\\
'''Stewardess:''' '''''[[BondOneLiner ''[[BondOneLiner THIS is the deal with airline food!]]'''''
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''',
food!]]''
-->--
[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-real-survival-guides-for-wildly-improbable-situations/#ixzz31qEDN25w "4 Real Survival Guides For Improbably Situations"]]



-->--BadassOfTheWeek, on [[http://badassoftheweek.com/homedefense.html the garage]].

to:

-->--BadassOfTheWeek, -->-- BadassOfTheWeek, on [[http://badassoftheweek.com/homedefense.html the garage]].



''(A huge wrecking-ball smashes through the wall and into Glory.)''\\

to:

''(A ''[a huge wrecking-ball smashes through the wall and into Glory.)''\\Glory]''\\



->'''Valmont:''' You are telling me one man stopped you?
->'''Finn:''' Uh, yes, but-
->'''Valmont:''' Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?
->'''Finn:''' Did we mention he had windshield wipers?

to:

->'''Valmont:''' You are telling me one man stopped you?
->'''Finn:'''
you?\\
'''Finn:'''
Uh, yes, but-
->'''Valmont:'''
but--\\
'''Valmont:'''
Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?
->'''Finn:'''
archaeologist?\\
'''Finn:'''
Did we mention he had windshield wipers?



->''Naturally, you're not armed in church. The nearest blunt instrument is the processional cross - a good ten pounds of silver and mahogany. God will understand.''
-->--''Videogame/FallenLondon''

to:

->''Naturally, ->''"Naturally, you're not armed in church. The nearest blunt instrument is the processional cross - a good ten pounds of silver and mahogany. God will understand.''
-->--''Videogame/FallenLondon''
"''
-->-- ''Videogame/FallenLondon''
26th Dec '15 5:49:04 PM Yuihime
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''*later*''
->'''Zeetha:''' Tankard! Not a weapon!
17th Nov '15 5:53:12 PM Lopiny
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->''Naturally, you're not armed in church. The nearest blunt instrument is the processional cross - a good ten pounds of silver and mahogany. God will understand.''
-->--''Videogame/FallenLondon''
11th Sep '15 3:25:44 AM ClockClockClock
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->'''Valmont:''' You are telling me one man stopped you?
->'''Finn:''' Uh, yes, but-
->'''Valmont:''' Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?
->'''Finn:''' Did we mention he had windshield wipers?
-->-- ''JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"
31st Aug '15 6:59:22 PM Prfnoff
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'''West:''' ''[picks up [[ShovelStrike a shovel]] and knocks him out in one hit]'' "[[CombatPragmatist I just made that up!]]"\\
--'''Film/WildWildWest'''

->"If a minifig can't find a real weapon, Random Objects are better than nothing, although this is only because having nothing sucks to such an impressive degree."
-->--'''{{Brikwars}} Manual''' on what to do when disarmed.

->'''Dr. Danger:''' "Can nothing stop this thing?"
->'''"Dash" O' Pepper''': "Just let me throw a barrel at it!"
-->'''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', '''Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet'''

to:

'''West:''' ''[picks up [[ShovelStrike a shovel]] and knocks him out in one hit]'' "[[CombatPragmatist I just made that up!]]"\\
--'''Film/WildWildWest'''

->"If
up!]]"
-->-- ''Film/WildWildWest''

->''If
a minifig can't find a real weapon, Random Objects are better than nothing, although this is only because having nothing sucks to such an impressive degree."
-->--'''{{Brikwars}} Manual'''
''
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Brikwars}} Manual''
on what to do when disarmed.

->'''Dr. Danger:''' "Can Can nothing stop this thing?"
->'''"Dash"
thing?\\
'''"Dash"
O' Pepper''': "Just Just let me throw a barrel at it!"
-->'''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', '''Toby
it!
-->-- '''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', "Toby
Danger in Doomsday Bet'''
Bet"
21st Jun '15 6:21:52 PM nombretomado
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-->-- '''''KingdomOfLoathing'''''

to:

-->-- '''''KingdomOfLoathing'''''
'''''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'''''
25th Apr '15 6:38:14 AM Odon
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->'''Glory:''' You lost your hammer, sweet cheeks. What are you gonna hit me with now?\\

to:

->'''Glory:''' You lost your hammer, [[DropTheHammer hammer]], sweet cheeks. What are you gonna hit me with now?\\
17th Dec '14 3:24:24 PM Odon
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->'''Glory:''' You lost your hammer, sweet cheeks. What are you gonna hit me with now?\\
''(A huge wrecking-ball smashes through the wall and into Glory.)''\\
'''Buffy:''' Whatever's handy.
-->-- ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "The Gift"
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