Quotes: Hypocrite

Fiction

And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"
Signs (1971 song, Five Man Electrical Band)

Francine, how can you be so selfish? I'm doing this for ME!
Stan Smith, American Dad!, "Lincoln Lover"

Robert: I'll tell you what I've found to be the key to a great marriage.
Raymond: Says the man who married a stripper, then divorced a stripper, then married a regular person, then hung in there for three whole months?

You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying that I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
Inara Serra, Firefly

What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?
Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now

Logan: I don't want to live with a guy who's all conceited and full of himself.
Michael: ''"My, my. Is it getting a little ironic in here?
Zoey 101, "Rumor of Love"

Real Life

A hypocrite is a person who—but who isn't?
Don Marquis (1878-1937), American author and humorist

Lemme get this straight... you guys wanna permanently separate Pokémon from humans somehow, so that Pokémon will finally be our equals? And in order to do that, you guys attack Pokémon with your own? What is this I don't even—
Black, Black Adventures

Some folks in this world spend their whole time hunting after righteousness, and can't find any time to practice it.
Josh Billings

Should a 400 lb man advise us on the evils of over-consumption?
Should the resident of a million-dollar apartment claim to be a poster boy of the working class?
Should a person who thought that Enron was a great investment, that Ralph Nader, Wesley Clark and John Kerry would win, and that North Korea's Kim Jong was changing for the better, advise us on ANYTHING?
— From the unofficial Michael Moore Hatedom site.

It is just odd Seagal is now proud to be a police reserve even though it could be argued he is now working for 'the man' despite preaching against it in many of his movies. There’s a word for that…
Miles Antwiler on The Patriot (1998)