"I wonder if Naomi Watts had some kind of stipulation in her contracts that there had to be at least one makeout with another actress in every movie she was in for a while."
"I once went to a Bills game and saw a mother and daughter open mouth kiss because the drunk dudes behind them told them to. The Bills lost that game 6-3 to Cleveland."
—"Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"
Chandler: I was just watching regular porn.
Monica: [Relieved] Really?
Chandler: Yes, just some old fashioned, American, girl-on-girl action.
Monica: You have no idea how happy that makes me!
Max: I think you've got it all wrong, Terra.
Max: In the male fantasy, you see, we're all Superman: ten feet tall and bulletproof.
Terra: Of course.
Max: In this fantasy, obviously, no woman is "unattainable". Lesbianism takes on a completely different meaning.
Terra: And what is that meaning?
Pretty White Girl: (Singing off cue cards) I like lesbians! (Dave hands her another card) I like lesbians! (Another card) Uh, I like lesbians!
Dave: I really like lesbians!
"Girls are like voltron, the more you stick together, the better it gets."
"Nothing gives me a woody like two chicks gettin' it on."
"It's fun, it's naked, and I agree with both of them!"
Tycho: ...you spent a hundred dollars on manga, and you can't read Japanese.
Gabe: Yes, but I do read Lesbonese.
Mark: But Elena's betrayed you! What difference does it make that it's with a woman?
Jez: Because it's hot!
"You buy us dinner, and we make out in front of you. That's, like, the best deal ever."
— Santana, Glee
Amy: Do I really look like that?
Future!Amy: Yeah, yeah you do.
Amy: Ooh, I'd give you your drivers licence...
Future!Amy: Ooh, I bet you would.
Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends: Pond flirting with herself. True love at last... oh, sorry, Rory.
Rory: Absolutely no problem at all.
"Lesbians are porn efficient. It's sex with a greater density of women. Porn wise, lesbians are like a jam sandwich without the sandwich and just the jam. In fact, lesbians are just a big blob of jam. Well, not actually. Unless they've exploded in all the lesbonic excitement."
— Jeff, Coupling
Scott: You and HER?!
Ramona: It was just a phase.
Scott: You had a sexy phase?!
I hear you've been slipping it to that pirate slut from the Hanged Man. What's that like? Two women! I've always wondered.
— Gamlen Amell to his niece, Dragon Age II
Man loved women, and women loved men, and men loved men, and... women loved women! Yeah, you know we all like to watch that!
Nico: Karolina is a better kisser than any of you! You happy now?
Victor: Of course not!
Chase: I'm actually very happy now.