"You know when you're sitting in a chair, and you lean back so you're just on two legs, and then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but just at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time."
"Sometimes I forget what I was going to say. Sometimes I remember things everyone else has forgotten for ever and always. Does that ever happen to you?"
— Delirium, The Sandman: Season of Mists
"I don't know if any of what I just said is true... but I believe it."
— Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
"Sometimes I think your train of thought is carrying a shipment of toxic waste."
— Ozy, to Millie, Ozy and Millie
"Have small space aliens ever landed in your brain and told you to break into the zoo and free the kangaroos?"
—Heather, Good Burger
Fighter: Aren't you going to ask how it's our lifelong dream when we just met Red Mage.
Black Mage: So you're actually aware that this makes no sense then?
Fighter: Yet we chase our dreams anyway.
Black Mage: Every day with you is an adventure I never wanted. Like swimming naked through shards of glass.
Homestar Runner (cosplaying as himself): Was it my star (taped onto his star T-shirt) or propeller cap (worn atop his trademark propeller beanie) that gave it away?
Strong Bad: It was your unbelievably loose grasp on the world around you.
Homestar Runner: Yeah, I guess I do have one of those.
Joey: Maybe my ruler was wrong.
Pheobe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
"So I was thinking... wait that doesn't sound right."
Aeris: Do you even listen to yourself any more?
Leo: I try not to. It breaks the illusion.
"I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive, but your weak link is: this is Earth."
"That was some quality playing there, courtesy of Raocow and friends. The friends are the many voices just kinda chillin' in my head... I don't hear them, but they're there."
"I was thinking what it's like to be abandoned and tortured and abused and forgotten.[...] But then I thought... 'I wonder what it's like to fuck a butterfly?'"
— Ragdoll, Secret Six
Early Cuyler: Yeah, I know 'bout Dan Halen. He was a ornery feller, chatterin' up inna tree all tauntin' like. Cheeks all puffed up with wallynuts and whatnot. I took aim at 'im with my pellet gun and blasted the tar outta him.
Interviewer: Are you sure you're not talking about that stuffed squirrel over there?
[Cut to stuffed squirrel on Early's mantle]
Early: Oh. Well, you might be right about that, now.
Grune: I'm going to give it my all. Charge~!
Chloe: ...Where are you going?
Grune: Oh? Where was I going?
Some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free!
And I'm just livin' my life; there's nothin' crazy about me!
Some people pay for thrills, but I get mine for free!
Man, I'm just livin' my life; there's nothin' crazy about me!
— Dizzee Rascal, "Bonkers"
"Talking with Rin is like playing chess with a supercomputer who does seemingly random moves as if to mock everything you know about chess. It's like that, but with human interaction. And even if I win, it feels like losing."
— Hisao Nakai, Katawa Shoujo
"You know, whenever she starts talking I think to myself, 'Maybe this time it'll make sense.' I'm always wrong."
— Andre Harris describing Cat Valentine, Victorious
"[H]is tastes lean toward stuffed animals, zither-music, professional football, Charles Dickens, moose heads, carnivals, dogs, children and young ladies. Mr Bevis is accident-prone, a little vague, a little discombobulated, with a life that possesses all the security of a floating crap-game. But this can be said about our Mr Bevis: Without him, without his warmth, without his kindness, the world would be a considerably poorer place. Albeit, perhaps, a little saner."
— Rod Serling's opening monologue for "Mr. Bevis," The Twilight Zone
"Now you know I tell people I'm actually from another planet, you know, 'cause I'm a bit off the wall, well I'll tell you this boy OWNS the other planet, my goodness!"
"Honestly, I think the inside'a [Jared's] head is pro'lly one'a th' most bizarre an' interesting places anyone could live."
Church: God damn, man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes.
Caboose: Yeah. I have a really good time.
"Our minds must be conflicting because you say plague of snakes and all I hear is Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny."
— Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
"Did she say something to you? Please forget it. She mumbles strange things from time to time. She can be an odd girl at times."
— Said about Sara from Thracia 776
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."
— Patrick Star (thinking about milk), Sponge Bob Squarepants
"Hello, Graham, would you mind coming back to earth with the rest of us, please?"
— Shaft, Baccano!