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The Mitchells have done the math and figured out that they can afford to meet their legal obligations as parents without interacting emotionally with their son at all! Look at them, smiling to themselves and not even making eye contact with him. Someone just found out what true menacing really is.

Live-Action TV

"I remember looking at you. The littlest babe, helpless and all mine. Those big, big eyes just...full of tears. Pulling at me...pulling away my name, my money, my time. Pulling away any hope of making my life into something better for myself."
Peter Pan to Rumpelstiltskin, Once Upon a Time

Newspaper Comics

"I knew we made a mistake as soon as I saw that little bologna loaf in the hospital bassinet."

Mom: So the contractor says it will cost about $200 to fix.
Dad: (facepalm) Oh, that dumb kid!
Mom: You aren't sorry we had Calvin, are you?
Dad: Are you?
Mom: I asked first... Besides, it wasn't all my decision.
Dad: All I know is that I offered to buy us a dachshund. But no, you said...
Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: Dad, how do people make babies?
Dad: Most people go to Sears, buy the kit, and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from SEARS??
Dad: No, you were a blue-light special from K-Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.
Calvin: AAUUGHHH!
Mom: Dear, what are you telling Calvin now?!
Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: IF YOU DON'T READ ME A STORY, I WON'T GO TO BED!!
Dad: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Calvin who wanted everything his way. One day his dad got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.
Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: You're going to be pretty lonely in the nursing home.
Dad: Maybe then I can finish this book.
Calvin and Hobbes

Web Original

I watched a white trash couple down a multi-beer funnel being held up by their 8-year-old son while their infant roasted in the sun in a stroller surrounded by empty Bud Light cans. The whole time they were screaming "don't call CPS!" at people who stopped to take pictures. Even if those kids survived that game, you know they have no chance.

Following this introduction, the book then jumps to a heartwarming domestic scene, in which small children (young enough still to be in diapers) are running in and out of doors, squabbling over toys, begging for a snack, and generally behaving in the manner befitting their age. This behavior, of course, had the tendency to interfere ever so slightly with a conversation held between the Pearls and these children's parents. Hence, the Pearls react in a highly sensible manner...and compare their parents to Holocaust victims on the way to the concentration camp.
Rational Wiki on To Train Up a Childnote 

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Anyfuckingwhere, so I’ll admit my education on all things Rimes, Cibrian and Glanville (an apt name for the worst damn PR firm on the planet) comes directly from the internet. That being said, Brandi Glanville strikes me as the type who would take the kids to the park and spend the entire time on a bench, tossing her hair while looking to see who’s watching her when she’s not staring at her phone. Instead of giving her kids the time left in minutes, she yells, “Kids! We’re leaving in 22%!” as her battery starts to get low.

"10 Louis Vuitton suitcases full of Spanx? CHECK! A trunk with my back-up silicone ass in it? CHECK! ...Hmmm, what else? What else? Um, whatshername? SHIT!" Kim strolls back into the hotel and gets North West who was obviously hiding under a sofa while wishing that the weird plastic lady would forget her so she can grow up in that hotel and be raised by mice.
Michael K., "Mother Of The Decade Kim Kardashian Denies Forgetting Her Baby In A Hotel"

She barely even got out of the limo! Some dude is reportedly calling her daughter a slut and a cunt, and the rest of her family is brawling at a kegger, and there’s Sarah in the fucking limo (of course she’s in a limo), letting her Wasilbilly family rumble while she’s probably Googling herself without a care in the world. She only finally gets out of the limo to name-drop herself to the cops! Does she even know she has a family? Or does she think those people are stock models provided for her by GOP donors?
Drew Magary on Sarah Palin

Real Life

There seems to be a good deal of bitterness in a family that is closer to that of the Louds than to Judge Hardy's. But this is par for the course in the families of celebrities in general, and of politicians in particular. A ballet-dancer son with his mother's nose did not go down well. A daughter who decided to run for the Senate (and support the ERA) did not go down well, either. So in 1982 Ronnie and his brother, Neil, helped to defeat Maureen, which was a pity because she would have been a more honorable public servant than her father.
Gore Vidal, "Ronnie and Nancy: A Life in Pictures"

Few prospective procreators consider the aesthetic impact of their potential children. But how many more producers of excrement and urine, flatulence, menstrual blood and semen, sweat, mucus, vomit, and pus do we really need? How much more human waste do we need to process? How many more corpses do we need to dispose of? It would be an aesthetic improvement if there were fewer people.
David Benatar

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