Quotes / Bile Fascination

Fan Works

Bruce: They made uh, a movie about...the Battle of New York?
Clint: Two, actually.
Bruce: Two? Um, why?
Steve: Because Hollywood. This one is just about the worst thing you've ever seen.
Bruce: So...why are we watching it then?
Tony: We've seen it about eight hundred times. You haven't experienced the utter horror yet.
Natasha: It must be shared.
Bruce: I think I'm missing the point...
Thor: I don't believe there is a point, Banner. Just an... experience.

— After "The Tower"

Film — Live-Action

I'm disgusted and repulsed and I can't... look... away.

— Becky, Clerks II

And yet I cannot not watch it. May God have mercy on us all.

— Dr. Paul Armstrong, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

Live-Action TV

Statler: This show is awful!
Waldorf: Terrible!
Statler: Disgusting!
Waldorf: See you next week?
Statler: Of course.

— Statler and Waldorf, The Muppet Show

People are coming to see them, not because their act is good, but because their act is absolutely horrible.

— Mark Stoffer Hunter, Mysteries At The Museum, "Cherry Sisters"

Data: (forces down a drink) Oh, yes! I hate this! It is revolting!

Guinan: More?

Data: Please.

— Star Trek: The Next Generation

Newspaper Comics

I'm actually enjoying this and it deeply disturbs me.

— Dilbert

Podcasts

So like, when I went to see [The Emoji Movie], I saw a lot of people, particularly on Twitter, go "Oh FUCK YOU, Pat! No! YOU'RE the problem! Because of you- because of people like you, this movie is somewhat successful", right? It is the general opinion that the reason this movie has been successful is because of everyone wanting to see the trash fire. But I'm cool with that, because I want to go see another absolute, brand-infested trash fire. I gained enjoyment from sitting there, like, being embarrassed to be there.

— Pat, Super Best FriendCast episode 209

Video Games

Kabbu: You're, um, searching for terrible books. Correct?
Reeves: That's right.
Vi: But why? Aren't they like, bad?
Reeves: ...Yes. But there's some sort of... angry comfort in witnessing their poorly composed narratives.

— Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling

Web Animation

"My better judgement says 'call the police', but you are confusing me so much I need to know what's going on."

— Sonic to Sonichu, "Creepy Stranger Sonichu" by Doobus Goobus

Guy in Green Chair: Is it me, or is this movie making less and less sense?
Guy in Blue Chair: I think it is.
Guy in Green Chair: Then why are we watching it?
Guy in Blue Chair: I don't know. I think we're watching it because it doesn't make any sense.
Guy in Green Chair: Oh... Well it doesn't change the fact that this is crap.
Guy in Blue Chair: Nope.
Guy in Green Chair: You wanna watch some more?
Guy in Blue Chair: Yep.

— The Demented Cartoon Movie

Webcomics

Holy crap... That sounds just disgusting enough to loop back around on itself and become awesome again!

— Tony, Real Life Comics

Web Original

it's an absolute disaster of a football game
it's horrible
it's gorgeous

— Juice on the bowl game, 20020

What she saw crawling upon this world repulsed her. Yet she could not tear her gaze away.

— Flavour text of Godhead of Awe (see The Seer's Parables)

You want to see something that's like really seriously disturbing and that nobody in their right mind would want to look at? You're on the internet so I guess the answer is probably yes.

— Ariella Rasputin Wallflower, The Wallflower Report

I'm conditioned to turn away from the computer at this point, but I've gotta keep watching.

— Diabetus on a Super Mario 64 hack

The Donkey Kong cartoon is hard to find, and many people have been wondering how it measures up against time. Not well. In fact, Saturday Supercade as a whole was terrible — it has to be said. Fortunately, bad cartoons are more fun to write about than good ones.

— Peter Paltridge in his article about the original Donkey Kong cartoon

I would like you to know that I hate each and every one of you. And I really hate who ever it was that put this book in my path, because I KNOW it was RHG bait and you KNOW I can’t resist that so...

Oh my god, the pain.

—RedHeadedGirl from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, on THIS (NSFW)

"Hand Shakers is terrible. It's mystifying, maddening, and bizarre. It's bad in almost every way that a show can be bad. But of course, I'm sure that's why so many people voted for it to be covered in the first place."

— James Beckett, recapping the first two episodes of Hand Shakers

"Hatewatching has long been lucrative, if not incredibly underestimated. In the dawn of the Internet, hatewatching is what made Rebecca Black's "Friday" go viral. (Had influencer commercialism been solidified in those dark ages, Black would have made lifetime residuals off "Friday" on Spotify and TikTok.) Hatewatching is what propelled the Fifty Shades of Grey film franchise to gross over $1.3 billion at the box office despite abysmal reviews and mild sex scenes. Hatewatching is what dictates the inspiration for much Netflix Originals content (like the wildly successful, and wildly panned, The Kissing Booth) as well as network television (like NBC's wildly successful, and wildly panned, Peter Pan Live!).

So, what is it we love so much about hatewatching? Have we hardened into cynics, but cynics with bad taste? Are we all cyberbullies getting our rocks off? No. Hatewatching is a tether that keeps us together. Where binge-watching is solitary, hatewatching is communal. Where "good taste" permits only in-depth analysis from authorized voices (i.e. critics), hatewatching encourages accessibility and democracy with deep-dive discussion. To hatewatch is to be a part of something; to hatewatch is to inaugurate oneself into a close-knit tribe."

— Ciara Gaffney, "Cats, Peloton, and the Gold Mine of Hatewatching"

Web Video

Hitler: Continue from the next fucking preview!
Jodl: But Mein Führer, why continue when you already know about his stupidity?!
Hitler: I wanna see how stupider he gets!
Jodl: You already called him the stupidest!
Hitler: Well, the... video is not done yet! You dumbass! I wanna see how much further he can go!

— Hitler vs CrazyBrandondorf (Now Brandondorf Raguz)

...if I had to watch one of these [versions of Doogal] again, it would be the American one. Hear me out: do you want an average nothing-special European movie, or a horrendous American bastardization? If it's gonna suck, it better be a mess!

— RebelTaxi, Doogal Review

Karstodes: ...so, does anyone remember why we're still watching this garbage?

Decius: I remember you daring me to watch it as a test of my faith in the Man-Emperor! Aaaand now we're all just kinda... watching it.

God-Emperor of Mankind: I do not actually know how to feel about this program. It might be the most chucklesome thing I have watched since this text-to-speech device was installed into my face. It has actually succeeded in pausing my relentless sobbing noises that always happen on this day of all days. Suffice to say, I am absolutely disgusted with myself.

—If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, Slaaneshmas Special

I believe in the value of failed art; art that is driven by carelessness, unchecked and untalented ego, by spectacularly low-stakes greed. It has a tendency to be novel, to be unpredictable in a way that deliberate art never can. This is why it's so much fun to watch bad movies. No one would ever make this game on purpose [...] It is not simply a lack of time or money that produces something like An American Tail: The Video Game, but the profound lack of caring. The end product of that broken process isn't worth playing for its own merits, but it is worth playing because it's worth remembering.invoked

—Dan Olson, "An American Tail: Fievel Goes to Video Game Hell"

(Siskel & Ebert) are the guys that reviewed Batman & Robin, Kazaam, the Super Mario Bros. (1993) movie, and the Tom and Jerry movie, and this is the movie that made them "feel unclean"? What the hell could be in it that could be so bad? Come on, kids, let's find out!

— The Nostalgia Critic, in his review of North

I was slightly surprised to find Daikatana available on Steam, but even more so by the feature list. "25 glorious weapons to collect and utilize". "Two highly-trained sidekicks to watch your back". I'd have said it was being sarcastic if I thought publishers had any self-awareness at all. But realistically, everyone knows that its infamous reputation is the only reason this game is on Steam, and the blurb should have read, "Roll up, roll up, everyone come and see the freak."

— Yahtzee

I'd say that I'm happy that something born from such a vile, mercenary place turned out so poorly and tanked so badly, but compared to the abject misery that is watching Foodfight!, even that happiness is fleeting. This is, in all sincerity, one of the very worst movies I have ever seen, not worthy of even the most morbid ironic fascination. It is dreadful, ugly, stupid, filthy-minded, and morally bereft on multiple levels. Also, you can totally see it for free on Amazon Prime.

— Antagony & Ecstasy, on Foodfight!

"There's nothing I like more than bad stand-up comedy. Nothing fascinates me as much as watching some overconfident drunk idiot get up in front of a packed crowd on open-mic night and just letting it rip."

—j aubrey, The Facade of Steven Crowder | An Empire of Hate and Hypocrisy

Western Animation

It's so horrible! Yet I stare perversely fascinated.

— Peter Puppy from the Earthworm Jim cartoon episode, The Anti-Fish

"I am sickened, but curious."

—Johnny Bravo

"Ah, this show's pretty good... for me to hate-watch!"

—Granny Tentacles, The Patrick Star Show episode "Get Off My Lawnie"

Real Life

I didn't say I liked it. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.

—Oscar Wilde

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