History Quotes / BileFascination

21st Dec '17 11:01:20 AM Anddrix
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->Sometimes it's interesting to see just how bad bad writing can be. This one promised to go the limit.
-->--''Film/SunsetBoulevard''

->So ''this'' is the new ''[[BlandNameProduct Eet Tee 2]]''. Hm... It claims to be even worse than original. Ugh, look at it; It's foul. It's putrid. It's despicable--as [[StylisticSuck it intentionally tries to be]]. But ''true'' wretchedness is too unique to duplicate. [[VideoGame/ETTheExtraterrestrial The original]] stood the test of infamy.... And that's the power of the classics.\\\
[''Beat'']\\\
Or, the Not-So-Classics that we love to hate.
-->--'''Nerd''', ''Film/AngryVideoGameNerdTheMovie''

to:

->Sometimes it's interesting to see just how bad bad writing can be. This one promised to go the limit.
-->--''Film/SunsetBoulevard''

->So ''this'' is the new ''[[BlandNameProduct Eet Tee 2]]''. Hm... It claims to be even worse than original. Ugh, look at it; It's foul. It's putrid. It's despicable--as [[StylisticSuck it intentionally tries to be]]. But ''true'' wretchedness is too unique to duplicate. [[VideoGame/ETTheExtraterrestrial The original]] stood the test of infamy.... And that's the power of the classics.\\\
[''Beat'']\\\
Or, the Not-So-Classics that we love to hate.
-->--'''Nerd''', ''Film/AngryVideoGameNerdTheMovie''




->Iíd rather read the worst book ever written than sit through the best movie ever made.
-->--'''Cigarette-Smoking Man''', ''Series/TheXFiles'' ("Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man")



->'''Paige''': I can't believe how trashy this talk show is. It's nothing but sex, vulgarity, deviancy and fighting. It has not one redeeming value. No thoughtful discussions... No good examples... Nothing but [[LowestCommonDenominator pure, 100 percent trash]].\\
'''Andy''': So why do you watch it?\\
'''Paige''': I just told you.
-->--''ComicStrip/FoxTrot'', January 9, 1996



[[folder:Web Animation]]
->I was slightly surprised to find ''Daikatana'' available on UsefulNotes/{{Steam}}, but even more so by the feature list: ''[='=]25 glorious weapons to collect and utilize![='=]'', ''[='=]Two highly-trained sidekicks to watch your back![='=]'' I'd have said it was being sarcastic if I thought publishers [[VeryFalseAdvertising had any self-awareness at all]]. But realistically, everyone knows that its infamous reputation is the only reason this game is on Steam, and the blurb should have read, ''[='=]Roll up, roll up, everyone come and see the freak![='=]''
-->--''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''{{VideoGame/Daikatana}}''
[[/folder]]



->''AmericaUnearthed'' follows self proclaimed 'forensic geologist' ScottWolter on a quest to investigate mysteries and artifacts that raise questions about the accepted history of the United States. So far, so good. Wolter goes on to use his discoveries as '[[ChewbaccaDefense evidence]]' in support of his own-brand [[TheIlluminati unified conspiracy theory]], which is where it becomes arguably an enjoyable sensationalist entertainment show, but definitely a lousy documentary series.
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki'''''



->I never need anything ever again.\\\
No food.\\\
No sleep.\\\
No gifts.\\\
A kind young lad has sent me a hard drive with the entire run of ''[[Wrestling/{{WCW}} WCW Thunder]]''. Now Iíve watched all that before live, saw lots of it again as Bryan and I wrote both ''[[Literature/TheDeathOfWCW Death of WCW]]''s.\\\
But I never had unlimited access to everything it contained at my fingertips.\\\
Now that I do, I cannot stop watching it. What a delightfully, absurdly, never-ending train wreck it is...If Wrestling/{{WWE}} were really serious about making money on the Network, theyíd just run every episode of this show from 1999-2000 on the live stream repeatedly.\\\
AMAZING.
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-chavo-guerrero-amway-salesman-look-what-winning-a-nitro-battle-royal-will-do-for-you/ "Chavo Guerrero, Amway Salesman Ė Look What Winning a WCW Battle Royal Will Do For You!!"]]

->VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''' is a spectacular monument to failure. If failure were Paris, Ride to Hell would be the Arc de Triomphe. If failure were Washington, D.C., Ride to Hell would be the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial or that Vietnam wall thing or whatever. You get the picture.
-->--'''Josh Harmon''', on ''[[http://www.egmnow.com/articles/reviews/egm-review-ride-to-hell-retribution/ Ride to Hell: Retribution]]''.



->''VideoGame/MorphX'' first came to my attention 'cause a saw a magazine review where they gave it a '''2/100'''. And of course, I rubbed one out in ''glee'' at this idea that a game could be ''that'' fucking shit, and I rushed out to buy it immediately.
-->--'''Creator/JimSterling'''

->'''Jay Hunter''': A natural feud, of course, as the [[StrawCharacter RTC]] ([[AC:R]]ight [[AC:T]]o [[AC:C]]ensor) took umbrage with {{Wrestling/Chyna}} doing ''Playboy'' -- which actually ''out-sold'' Wrestling/{{Sable}}'s ''Playboy'' by 20%. Over 1 million copies sold.\\
'''OOC''': It's [[FanDisservice morbid curiosity.]]\\
'''Jay''': Yeah, I agree. [-(That's why I got it.)-]
-->--''WebVideo/OSWReview'' on ''[[{{Wrestling/WWE}} Royal Rumble 2001]]''

->'''Mike''': It's like saying the desert is hot. Yes, the desert is hot, but unless you've walked through it for 24 hours with no water, [[IceCreamKoan you can't truly know how hot the desert is]]. You have to see the whole thing.\\
'''Jay''': But you may find yourself in a situation where you need to walk through the desert. There's '''[[{{Dissimile}} never going to be a situation]]''' where you '''''NEED''''' to watch the ''Star Wars Holiday Special''!\\
'''Mike''': [''Sagely''] If you want to complain about how bad the ''Star Wars Holiday Special'' is, you need to have watched it from beginning to end. If you have not, you have no right to complain about how bad it is. It's a rite of passage.
-->-- ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''

to:

->''VideoGame/MorphX'' first came to my attention 'cause a saw a magazine review where they gave it a '''2/100'''. And of course, I rubbed one out in ''glee'' at this idea that a game could be ''that'' fucking shit, and I rushed out to buy it immediately.
-->--'''Creator/JimSterling'''

->'''Jay Hunter''': A natural feud, of course, as the [[StrawCharacter RTC]] ([[AC:R]]ight [[AC:T]]o [[AC:C]]ensor) took umbrage with {{Wrestling/Chyna}} doing ''Playboy'' -- which actually ''out-sold'' Wrestling/{{Sable}}'s ''Playboy'' by 20%. Over 1 million copies sold.\\
'''OOC''': It's [[FanDisservice morbid curiosity.]]\\
'''Jay''': Yeah, I agree. [-(That's why I got it.)-]
-->--''WebVideo/OSWReview'' on ''[[{{Wrestling/WWE}} Royal Rumble 2001]]''

->'''Mike''': It's like saying the desert is hot. Yes, the desert is hot, but unless you've walked through it for 24 hours with no water, [[IceCreamKoan you can't truly know how hot the desert is]]. You have to see the whole thing.\\
'''Jay''': But you may find yourself in a situation where you need to walk through the desert. There's '''[[{{Dissimile}} never going to be a situation]]''' where you '''''NEED''''' to watch the ''Star Wars Holiday Special''!\\
'''Mike''': [''Sagely''] If you want to complain about how bad the ''Star Wars Holiday Special'' is, you need to have watched it from beginning to end. If you have not, you have no right to complain about how bad it is. It's a rite of passage.
-->-- ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''
21st Dec '17 10:46:33 AM Anddrix
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[[folder:Newspapers]]
->The movie is pretty bad, all right. But it has a certain charm. It's so completely wrong-headed from beginning to end that it develops a doomed fascination.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''' [[http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19990716/REVIEWS/907160303/1023 on]] ''Film/LakePlacid''
[[/folder]]




->It's ''bad''. It's explosively, apocalyptically bad and you should totally buy it.\\
...''Ride to Hell'' is the kind of bad that leaves me with a smile on my face. It's a little retarded child with its head stuck in a cereal box and a massive great dump in its big-boy pants going "I'm a real game now!" Of course you are, ''Ride to Hell''. And that's why everyone should buy it. Just to ''fuck with some heads''. This could be our ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace''.
-->--''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution''



->'''David''': More of this, '''PLEASE'''. This is entirely too entertaining. I just want [[PanderingToTheBase rapid-fire continuity references]] thrown at my face at 100 miles an hour.\\
'''Chris''': Seriously, as fun as this was, it was almost completely ruined for me by errors a high school play wouldnít make. But again, Iíll take a crazy script with massive plot-holes over just plain boring any day of the week. Assuming that day is Friday at 8 PM on the CW. On other days, I at least like to pretend Iíve got standards.
-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-9-patriot/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Patriot")

->It's such a car crash that you can't help but watch the results through your fingertips and wince. I think this is supposed to be a [[RuleOfFunny fun piece]] but it is so misjudged and po-faced that it misses the entertainment jugular by a country mile...I find it hard to think of an episode of science fiction that is quite this tacky and I have seen some pretty hideous examples.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2011/10/torchwood.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''{{Series/Torchwood}}'', [[Recap/TorchwoodS1E2DayOne "Day One"]]



->It launched a bunch of shit at a wall hoping some would stick, but all of it stuck, and no one stopped to ask, 'How about we throw something other than shit at this wall?' I watched it on TV so many times that if I had a Nielsen ratings box, my home's data would have been reported as faulty and tossed out -- no one watches that much ''Film/HudsonHawk'' without it being a glitch.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/one-valuable-life-lesson-hiding-in-one-worst-films/#ixzz2yAXawLAe "One Valuable Life Lesson Hiding in One of the Worst Movies"]]



->The clerk at Borders actually asked if [[CandidCameraPrank he was on a reality TV show]] when I asked him to find this movie in his computer. I resorted to Netflix, and found that the copy I received there had been split neatly down the middle. Not only that, the surface of the DVD had been ravaged and gouged with deep ruts, covered with dirt and tiny little shards of gravel wedged into it. It's as if someone, either a previous renter or the Netflix envelope-stuffer [[TheseAreThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow saw what I was about to do to myself]], snapped the disc in half, then realized that some meaningful data might somehow be salvaged from the halves, took it to the parking lot [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill and ground the pieces into the asphalt]] under his heels.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/belly-of-the-beast/ on]] ''Belly of the Beast''

->I popped the disc in and found the previous owner did me a HUGE favor and swapped the DVD inside for the much superior movie ''{{Film/Ray}}''. Its as if he was saying ďNo one needs to see this movie. Iím just going to [[TakingTheBullet sacrifice one of my better movies]] so no one has to be hurt by this turd stain of a movie.Ē So what do I do? I go back to the Blockbuster and GET A NEW COPY! I went out of my way to watch ''Film/AnAmericanCarol''! Whatís next: a Creator/TylerPerry film festival!?
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/ballistic-exks-vs-sever-2002-kaos/ on]] ''Film/BallisticEcksVsSever''

->''[[ComicStrip/TheFamilyCircus Family Circus]]'' at least is fascinating in this weird meta kind of way. A lot of times, ''Family Circus'' didnít even have jokes. Or observations. Or anything. And you would just kind of stare at it, trying to figure out what it was you were looking at and why it existed. Kind of like a Creator/RobLiefeld drawing. I have to admit, I can stare at a Liefeld drawing a lot longer, in some cases, than a drawing by somebody who can actually draw, because thereís just something fascinating about it. Traffic slows down when it passes a car accident.
-->--'''[[http://www.rickworley.com/2012/06/20/scott-adams-douchebags-of-comics/ RIck Worley]]'''



->It's like trying to properly judge a four-tier wedding cake that is made out of shit. It's an impressive achievement, a masterpiece in some respects, but the point that can't be missed is that it's made out of ''shit''.
-->-- '''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "The Cloud"



->I, of course, had no PAL VHS player, had no way of converting the movie, and was now the owner of a $30 brick. But the light was still at the end of the tunnel because I do, in fact, know some British people. Months later, I'm at [=MAGfest=] (all the way across the country) and I've brought ''Crowfoot'' with me, only to hand it off to WebVideo/FilmBrain, who takes back to Swindon and converts it for me. Cut to late March when we're both in Chicago, and I get the VHS back and a DVD copy. This is ''again'' taken all the way across the country, where it now resides on my shelf. [[JunkRare This is a well-traveled VHS.]] So I guess the question now is, was the movie worth it? '''''HELL YEAH the movie was worth it!''''' This movie should get some sort of award for half-baked ideas and personifying {{the nineties}}.
-->--'''Creator/AllisonPregler''' on ''Crowfoot''




[[folder:Real Life]]
->Me, I like them because they amuse me. I never get tired of the show... so unimaginably exhilarating and preposterous that one lives a gorgeous year in an hour.
-->--'''Creator/HLMencken''' on why he covered political conventions

->I agreed to write the script if Creator/{{Tennessee|Williams}} would have no hand in it. Later, Sam [Spiegel] would talk him into taking co-credit for my screenplay on the ground, "Baby, it will win the Academy Award." As [Tennessee] was ravenous for prizes, he put his name alongside mine on the script. Happily, the reviews were so bad that he immediately regretted what he had done; later, he was less disturbed as the press proved to be so bad that [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity the public was driven to see]] what ''The New York Times'' shrieked was a celebration of sodomy, incest, cannibalism and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Elizabeth Taylor at her most voluptuous]].
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''' on ''Theatre/SuddenlyLastSummer'', ''Palimpsest''
[[/folder]]
17th Dec '17 6:35:05 PM nombretomado
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->I, of course, had no PAL VHS player, had no way of converting the movie, and was now the owner of a $30 brick. But the light was still at the end of the tunnel because I do, in fact, know some British people. Months later, I'm at [=MAGfest=] (all the way across the country) and I've brought ''Crowfoot'' with me, only to hand it off to FilmBrain, who takes back to Swindon and converts it for me. Cut to late March when we're both in Chicago, and I get the VHS back and a DVD copy. This is ''again'' taken all the way across the country, where it now resides on my shelf. [[JunkRare This is a well-traveled VHS.]] So I guess the question now is, was the movie worth it? '''''HELL YEAH the movie was worth it!''''' This movie should get some sort of award for half-baked ideas and personifying {{the nineties}}.

to:

->I, of course, had no PAL VHS player, had no way of converting the movie, and was now the owner of a $30 brick. But the light was still at the end of the tunnel because I do, in fact, know some British people. Months later, I'm at [=MAGfest=] (all the way across the country) and I've brought ''Crowfoot'' with me, only to hand it off to FilmBrain, WebVideo/FilmBrain, who takes back to Swindon and converts it for me. Cut to late March when we're both in Chicago, and I get the VHS back and a DVD copy. This is ''again'' taken all the way across the country, where it now resides on my shelf. [[JunkRare This is a well-traveled VHS.]] So I guess the question now is, was the movie worth it? '''''HELL YEAH the movie was worth it!''''' This movie should get some sort of award for half-baked ideas and personifying {{the nineties}}.
14th Sep '17 2:52:49 PM Augusto
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->''ComicStrip/FamilyCircus'' at least is fascinating in this weird meta kind of way. A lot of times, ''Family Circus'' didnít even have jokes. Or observations. Or anything. And you would just kind of stare at it, trying to figure out what it was you were looking at and why it existed. Kind of like a Creator/RobLiefeld drawing. I have to admit, I can stare at a Liefeld drawing a lot longer, in some cases, than a drawing by somebody who can actually draw, because thereís just something fascinating about it. Traffic slows down when it passes a car accident.

to:

->''ComicStrip/FamilyCircus'' ->''[[ComicStrip/TheFamilyCircus Family Circus]]'' at least is fascinating in this weird meta kind of way. A lot of times, ''Family Circus'' didnít even have jokes. Or observations. Or anything. And you would just kind of stare at it, trying to figure out what it was you were looking at and why it existed. Kind of like a Creator/RobLiefeld drawing. I have to admit, I can stare at a Liefeld drawing a lot longer, in some cases, than a drawing by somebody who can actually draw, because thereís just something fascinating about it. Traffic slows down when it passes a car accident.
4th Jun '17 5:32:47 PM CyberTiger88
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->...if I had to watch one of these [[versions of ''[[WesternAnimation/TheMagicRoundabout Doogal]]'']] again, it would be the American one. Hear me out: do you want an average nothing-special European movie, or a horrendous American bastardization? If it's gonna suck, it better be a mess!

to:

->...if I had to watch one of these [[versions [versions of ''[[WesternAnimation/TheMagicRoundabout Doogal]]'']] Doogal]]''] again, it would be the American one. Hear me out: do you want an average nothing-special European movie, or a horrendous American bastardization? If it's gonna suck, it better be a mess!
4th Jun '17 5:32:13 PM CyberTiger88
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Added DiffLines:


->...if I had to watch one of these [[versions of ''[[WesternAnimation/TheMagicRoundabout Doogal]]'']] again, it would be the American one. Hear me out: do you want an average nothing-special European movie, or a horrendous American bastardization? If it's gonna suck, it better be a mess!
-->-- '''WebVideo/RebelTaxi, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzeHbflF6lc Doogal Review]]'''
23rd Mar '17 3:12:52 AM WillyFourEyes
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-- '''James Beckett''', [[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/hand-shakers/episodes-1-2/.111178 recapping the first two episodes]] of ''Anime/HandShakers'' for Website/AnimeNewsNetwork

to:

-- -->-- '''James Beckett''', [[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/hand-shakers/episodes-1-2/.111178 recapping the first two episodes]] of ''Anime/HandShakers'' for Website/AnimeNewsNetwork
23rd Mar '17 3:12:32 AM WillyFourEyes
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Added DiffLines:


->"''Hand Shakers'' is terrible. It's mystifying, maddening, and bizarre. It's bad in almost every way that a show ''can'' be bad. But of course, I'm sure that's why so many people voted for it to be covered in the first place."
-- '''James Beckett''', [[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/hand-shakers/episodes-1-2/.111178 recapping the first two episodes]] of ''Anime/HandShakers'' for Website/AnimeNewsNetwork
28th Dec '16 2:08:14 PM rjd1922
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18th Nov '16 12:48:08 PM SenorCornholio
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->"I am sickened, but curious."
-->--'''WesternAnimation/JohnnyBravo'''
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.BileFascination