"Welcome to the Academy Awards. Or as it's known in my house, Passover."
—Bob Hope, hosting the 1968 Oscars
"1989 Grammy award LOSERS"
— The packaging of some pressings of ...And Justice for All
"We'd like to thank Jethro Tull for not putting out an album this year."
— Lars Ulrich, accepting an actual Grammy in 1990.
"Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time! OF ALL TIIIIIIME!"
—Kanye West, 2009 MTV Video Music Awards
“It was crazy. We saw our audience get bigger and bigger, and then come the SAG awards, the Emmy Awards, the Golden Globes—nothing. We were like, 'Well, what the fuck is going on?' And David Simon, he was so cool. He was like 'Fuck the awards, I’m not about that. I’m about telling a good story.' He was on interviews, like, “We don’t need that.” And some of us, in the back of our heads, were like, 'Yo, stop sayin’ we!'
— Andre Royo on the Emmy snubs inflicted on The Wire
"Someday, Steven Spielberg will win his Oscar. This year he was rebuked and snubbed, and so Hollywood will provide the happy ending and give him an Oscar two or three years from now, and people will explain that it is 'really' for The Color Purple. That's the way the Oscar game has always been played."
"In any correctly balanced world, (Kirsten) Dunst would stride away with the Oscar while throwing up her arms like a Maury guest in a 'Whut? Whut? Ya’ll know I’m all that…' but Streep did Thatcher, so that’s probably not happening."
"The Hollywood Walk of Fame is an iconic symbol of entertainment history. Of course, like any other hall of fame, it's also a total sham...would you believe the Backstreet Boys have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? Sure you would; they sold a shit-ton of records and had a huge impact on the direction of popular radio in their day. You know who doesn't have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? That's right, N Sync. That's like only giving Pepsi a star on the soda walk of fame. This imbalance alone is enough to completely destroy any facade of credibility the Hollywood Walk of Fame could ever hope to keep up."
"So, the Grammys are a joke. They've always been a joke. Me being so obvious as to point out that the Grammys are joke makes me kind of a joke. No one on earth sees a Grammy as any indicator of quality... And nowhere does the Grammys seem to get it wrong more often than the "Best New Artist" Grammy, which all to often seems to go to flameouts, flash-in-the-pans, and all-around footnotes in music history. It's the Madden Curse of music."
—Todd in the Shadows on Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis"