Podcast / Rex Factor

Welcome to Rex Factor, reviewing all the kings and queens of England, from Alfred the Great to Elizabeth II...

Graham Duke

Rex Factor is a long-running Podcast built around British history. The structure of the show is simple: Graham researches one English monarch (or Scottish monarch, in the second series, or English consort in the third) and gives Ali, his co-host, a brief biography of their life and reign, while Ali makes jokes in response. Following that, each monarch is assessed and given a score out of a possible twenty from five different criteria:

• Battleyness: The monarch's skill in warfare, and other forms of fighting.
• Scandal: How much scandal they caused.
• Subjectivity: Whether you would want to be their subject, includes things like the overall level of peace and stability of the reign, as well as cultural and artistic patronage.
• Dynasty:^note Not the programme. How many (surviving) children they had.
• Longevity: How long they reigned.

All of that, however, is just a prelude to the central question of every episode: does the monarch in question have the Rex Factor, a certain something or grand, lasting achievement that means they deserve being known by people more widely. At the end of each series, every Rex Factor winner is entered in a tournament, where Graham, Ali and the listeners vote until one is crowned the ultimate Rex Factor winner.

The first series covered English monarchs. The second series covered Scottish monarchs prior to the union of the crowns under James the VI/I. The third and current series covers English royal consorts.

Rex Factor has inspired numerous similar podcasts using the same basic formula to talk about other historical characters or events, including Totalus Rankium (about Roman emperors and American presidents), Saga Thing (about Icelandic Sagas), Pontifacts (about Popes), and others.

Examples

• Aerith and Bob: The Anglo-Saxons in general, since a select few names (Alfred, Edward) survived but are mixed in with the many that didn't, like "Eadwig" and "Aethelflaed."
• A Child Shall Lead Them: Several monarchs become King before they're teenagers and are governed by regencies. Edward the Martyr (12 years old); Richard II (10 years old); Aethelred the Unready, Edward VI and Henry III (all 9 years old); and Henry VI (8 months old). Graham notes it rarely goes well, with most of them eventually being killed or overthrown.
  • The Stuarts make this a habit, with every single James coming to the throne as a child and then dying as a young adult - James I (11), James II (6), James III (8), James IV (15), James V (17 months) and James VI (13 months). Mary I is also part of this line-up ^note  the daughter of James V and mother of James VI and beats them all, becoming queen at six days.
• Affectionate Nickname: Ali often calls Graham "Gman".
• The Ace: Henry II who achieved the series' highest overall score with all-round impressiveness across battle, scandal and subjectivity.
• Animal Motifs: The hosts decide that William III is a penguin, for no readily apparent reason.
• Awesome McCoolname: A few of the monarchs gain cool nicknames and/or titles. Highlights include Edmund Ironside, Richard the Lionheart, Isabella the She-Wolf, and Elizabeth Gloriana.
  • The Vikings are famed for this with Harald Bluetooth, Ivar the Boneless, and Eric Bloodaxe. All doubling as Names to Run Away from Really Fast.
• Berserk Button: For Ali, Dunstan, the long-lived Archbishop of Canterbury during the Saxon period (whom Ali has dubbed "the fun sponge" for his tendency to interrupt and scold the kings during moments of scandal). Naturally, Graham takes advantage of this distaste and tries to insert him whenever possible, often with hilarious results.
  Ali (Episode - Alexander III of Scots): How have you brought him up in this episode?! It was ages ago and in a different country!
• Beware the Silly Ones: Charles II may have been known as "the merry monarch", but he was cynically shrewd after his years in exile and when it came to his few hard lines (having his mistresses at court, standing by his wife and brother) you did not want to cross him.
• Big, Screwed-Up Family: Several of the families covered, although the family of Henry II (whose wife and sons all rebelled against him) and the Hanoverians (four consecutive generations of whom were not on speaking terms with their parents) stand out in particular.
• Brief Accent Imitation: Graham is very good at these, with "Winston Churchill" and "Queen Victoria" being some of the most popular.
• Catchphrase:
  • Ali has several, such as "Crikey!", "Crumbs!", and "a good egg", which several listeners have noted have Got Them Doing It.
  • Some monarchs and other figures have had them as well, which tend to become Running Gags, such as William II's "By the holy face of Luca!"
• Colour-Coded for Your Convenience: When the Scottish succession began to get too complicated, Graham started to sort the monarchs into “Team Red” and “Team Blue” to distinguish the different family trees. A “Team Purple” was later added.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: Ali. It's revealed in a Q&A episode that during a car ride the hosts took together, Ali lost the map so decided to follow another car because the driver "looked like they knew where they were going." Graham dryly pointed out that may be true, but that didn't mean they were going to the same place.
• Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Fitting the above, Graham is this for Ali. Ali even refers to "outsourcing his memory" to Graham on his own past opinions.
• Crossover: With Saga Thing for Sigrid the Haughty's episode, as much of what we know (or "know") about her comes from the Icelandic Sagas.
• Crossover Ship: In-universe the hosts discuss the hypothetical pairing of Elizabeth I/Charles II and agree they'd have got on splendidly, with Elizabeth running the show while Charles cracked jokes.
• Deadpan Snarker: Graham, with emphasis on the deadpan.
• The Ditz: Ali, often.
  Graham: "...the eleven-year princess."
  Ali: "And how old was she?"
  Graham: "...eleven."
• Do Wrong, Right: Frequently in the "Scandal" section, when a subject gives a lackluster performance.
  Graham: Unfortunately, he was faithful to his wife.
  • The hosts briefly consider giving King John the Rex Factor for sheer notoriety, then decide against it because he wasn't quite as bad as expected.
• Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: King John steps up to the plate exactly once - when his mother, the elderly Eleanor of Aquitaine, is in danger.
• Eye Scream: The Saxons love blinding their enemies, which Ali is weirded out by.
• Foil: The hosts contrast Henry VIII and Charles II, both famed for their love affairs and religious views.
  • Henry repeatedly married for love and as a result had a surprisingly low number of mistresses. However, he was notorious for discarding wives and fought the whole government to divorce his beloved first consort, Catherine of Aragorn, when she couldn't give him a son.
  • Meanwhile, Charles II accepted his arranged marriage with Catherine of Braganza but openly flaunted his many mistresses. Yet when Catherine couldn't give him children, he defied Parliament's demands to get divorced and stayed with her until his death.
  • Around religion, Henry tore the country apart because of his personal beliefs - kickstarting the split from Catholicism and executing countless people in the process. Charles II privately favoured Catholicism in a now very-Protestant England but stayed quiet keep his country at peace ^note  only formally converting on his deathbed and publicly advocated for religious tolerance.
• Genius Bruiser: Alfred the Great spent the first half of his reign fighting off Vikings and the second half promoting learning and religion - including teaching himself Latin so he could educate the monks. This combination is why he's labelled "the Great" and stands out compared to other Kings of the time.
• Grand Finale: Each series ends with a playoff system between all the monarchs who have earned the Rex Factor, with one ultimate winner being crowned in the “Grand Final” episode.
• #HashtagForLaughs: #RememberAed, a joking awareness campaign created for the medieval Scottish king Aed, about whom the only thing we know from the sources is that “the shortness of his reign has bequeathed nothing memorable to history.”
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": Graham does this a few times when Ali takes the lead in the "Ali's Dissertation" special.
• Hero of Another Story: Edgar Ætheling, the last Saxon prince after the Norman conquest. He never becomes King, but has a long and eventful life popping up in multiple English and Scottish episodes to rescue nieces and nephews, launch rebellions, and join the First Crusade. He eventually gets his own special episode exploring what he got up to.
• High Turnover Rate: a Running Gag in the Scottish series, where monarchs die often, violently, and often violently.
• I Coulda Been a Contender!: Several subjects come close to winning the Rex Factor, but miss out because they didn't ultimately accomplish their main goal. Examples include Edmund Ironside, Harold II (aka. Harold Godwinson), James I of Scotland, and Aelgifu of Northampton.
• In the Blood: It's noted that every single one of the Stuart monarchs disguises themself at one point or another.
• King Incognito: Alfred the Great when he was hiding from the Vikings, Charles II after the monarchy was overthrown, and teenage Elizabeth II during VE day celebrations.
• Lady of War: Most literally with Aethelflaed, Lady of the Mercians, but several other queens and powerful women have more military success than one might think. This is particularly notable with Isabella of France and Margaret of Anjou.
• Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: The hosts comment that Margaret of Anjou and Henry VI basically swapped roles, as Margaret was forced to act as regnant and military commander, while Henry organised "love parades" to make peace.
  • Similarly, Matilda Countess of Boulogne and King Stephen. Matilda was much tougher than her husband and the force behind many of his victories in The Anarchy.
  Ali: "Never has there been a sentence truer 'when Matilda died, all the fight went out of Stephen.' Yeah, she was the fight."
• Mother Makes You King: The Succession Crisis between Harthacnut and Harold Harefoot, which even in the first series Ali and Graham acknowledged as mostly a proxy conflict for their respective mothers, Emma of Normandy and Aelgifu of Northampton, and especially in the third series.
  • The Empress Matilda's efforts secure Henry II's kingship, and it's notable that she only succeeds after her opponent Matilda of Boulogne has died and can no longer advocate for her son Eustace (while Eustace's father Stephen just gives up).
• Naughty Nuns: Graham and Ali are excited to learn during his scandal section that Edgar the Peaceable had sex with a nun; “sex with nuns” later becomes shorthand for a piece of juicy (usually sex-related) scandal and the measuring stick for other scandal.
  Ali, often: It's no sex with nuns...
• Nice Girl: All Queen Consorts are meant to be this but genuine cases are Berengaria of Navarre (who encouraged Richard I to give food to the hungry), Philippa of Hainault (famed for her intercessions), Elizabeth of York (literally summed up as "just a nice person"), Catherine of Braganza (cared for her husband's illegitimate children), and Adelaide of Saxe-Meiningen (nicknamed by the hosts as "Auntie Adelaide").
• Nice Guy: Rare given how ruthless monarchs had to be - especially in earlier periods - but a few Kings achieve this status, including George III (a famed Family Man and devoted husband before his madness), Charles II (who personally helped victims of the Great Fire of London), and Henry VI (a case where nice guy didn't equal good ruler, as his soft nature led to the War of the Roses).
• The Nicknamer: Ali, most notably "the fun sponge" (Dunstan), Henry Mark 5 (Henry V), The Penguin (William III), and Pineapple Head (William IV).
• Pants-Free: Ali has been known to do this.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: The Stuart monarchs loved to dress up, but the only one who seemed to be good at it was Charles II. James II of England was particularly bad, disguising himself as women and getting caught multiple times.
• Planet of Steves: Far too many of the Anglo-Saxon consorts are named some variation of "Edith", but the Norman consorts take this even further.
  Graham: Adeliza of Louvain is unique among the Norman consorts for not being named Mathilda.
  • And Mathilda of Scotland was originally named Edith, then changed her name to Mathilda on her marriage.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: Mary Queen of Scots and Elizabeth I, highlighted in their "Battle of the Queens" episode. Mary was more decisive and led troops into battle but was undone by her emotional impulses, while Elizabeth was measured and strategic but drove her councillors insane by refusing to make decisions.
• Royal Inbreeding: Much, much less common than medieval stereotypes would have you believe. Although Church rules about incest were commonly flouted, those rules were in fact much stricter than today's and included in-laws. Most of the marriages that get annulled for consanguinity would be allowable in most countries today.
• Rube Goldberg Hates Your Guts: Supposedly the cause of death of Kenneth II, where the mother of a man he killed set up a statue that triggered hidden crossbows when touched, then led him to it. It's unclear how she knew he'd immediately touch the statue.
• Shown Their Work: Every episode functions as this for Graham, who does extensive research on the life of each monarch.
• Sidekick: The Tudors favoured these:
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick: Henry VIII made a habit of appointing lower-born but effective ministers (Cardinal Wolsey and Thomas Cromwell) to run the kingdom for him and then throwing them under the bus when he tired of them. Several of his wives also served as this, with Catherine of Aragorn achieving the greatest military victory of his reign, while Anne Boleyn was the big theological driver behind the Reformation.
  • Chessmaster Sidekick: Elizabeth I similarly appointed William Cecil as her chief advisor. However, unlike her father, Elizabeth was capable in her own right and fiercely loyal to her councilors. Cecil served her until his natural death.
• Straight Man and Wise Guy: Knowledgable deadpan Graham and wacky jokester Ali.
• That Came Out Wrong: On Mary, Queen of Scots ^note  who was beheaded by Elizabeth:
  Ali: "I'm going to stick my neck out and say - wait no!" [A minute later] "She may not be able to hold her sword high, but she can hold her head high... oh, dear."
• That One Rule: Consort Longevity. While Longevity is usually straightforward aside from the mathematics involved (measured from coronation till death, then plugged into the formula du jour), consorts frequently outlive their partners and, especially in the case of Queen Mothers, may be more politically active after the death of the monarch. This is handled by giving them half points for their time as Queen Mother. Of course, it's less straightforward then it sounds. What if there are multiple children, or there's a stepmother situation? Or what if she's the de facto ruler for a period of time?
• The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much: James III of Scots "happenit to be slain" after a rebellion led by his son. The records of the time give no further detail.
• The Watson: A confused Ali asking questions also helps out the listeners.
• Three-Way Sex: One of the most notorious moments of scandal in the podcast occurs early on, when fifteen-year-old king Eadwig skips out on his coronation banquet to have a threesome with his future wife Aelfgifu and her mother. However, in the consort series Aelfgifu gets her own episode, and the hosts point out that the story was written by biased monks who hated Aethelgifu (the mother), and she may simply have arranged the marriage.
• Troll: Graham will mention Dunstan anywhere, anytime to annoy Ali. Including making up a Dunstan theme song when he returns in the second series.
• Twice-Told Tale: History being what it is, the same events get retold multiple times, from several different perspectives. Only one monarch actually has two separate episodes^note as opposed to monarchs whose episode is divided into parts, of which their are several: James I of England, aka. James VI of Scotland, gets covered separately in each series. He doesn't get the Rex Factor in the English series, but he does in the Scottish series.
• Unreliable Narrator: As always, a serious problem when dealing with historical records. For more recent monarchs, there are more records that can be more easily cross-referenced, but the older monarchs and particularly the consorts often have only one or two sources for their lives. John of Fordun, in particular, tends to recount exciting but doubtful stories as fact. This can affect scores either way - sometimes points are awarded for a very good rumour, but when all the information available is dubious, the hosts rarely give full points.
• Violent Glaswegian: The Scots series is notable for the constant murders, with Malcolm II sticking out in particular for murdering most of his extended family. The hosts dub him "a serial killer."