Chandler: Okay, on three. One... Two...
Joey: Why don't we just go on two?
Chandler: Why two?
Joey: Because it's faster.
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this "two" talk.
Friends, when the gang is lifting a heavy entertainment center into place.
Any time precise timing is called for, you're likely to hear the phrase "On three: One, two, THREE!"
Since this has been heard countless times before, variations are common. A common parody is: "WAIT! Do we go on three, or do we say 'One, two, three' and then go?" This usually results in an awkward conversation about how best to count or the characters becoming even more confused and going at the wrong time or missing their opportunity entirely. (
Genre Savvy characters may avoid this by counting down from three instead: "Three, two, one, GO!")
Sub Trope of
Rule of Three. Not to be confused with
Counting to Three, which is when you don't
want the person counting to get to three.
Examples
Anime
Film
- Lethal Weapon makes a running gag out of this joke.
- Averted in Robin Hood: Men in Tights with "On the count of 'Kick'!"
- Later it was "On the count of 'Jump'! Wait for it..."
- A running gag in Monty Python and the Holy Grail was that King Arthur couldn't say the word "three", substituting "five" for it until corrected by one of his subordinates. When it comes time to toss the Holy Hand Grenade, he miscounts again-fortunately the grenade didn't go off until it was thrown next to the desired target.
- Yellow Submarine, as The Beatles are about to sing Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
John Lennon Ok, fellows on the beat...A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six...
Ringo Starr Can't you make it three?
John Lennon Oh, alright! On the beat...A-one, a-two, a-three...
- In Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Max has to yank an arrow out of another character's leg, says they'll do it on the count of three, and of course does it on two.
Literature
- Played with in Feed. George and Shaun agree to activate their mandatory zombie-infection blood tests on three, as loss of speech function is an additional warning sign of infection. But they have a prior standing agreement to actually go on two, as loss of memory is also a warning sign.
Live-Action TV
Video Games
- Portal 2 has Wheatley disengaging himself from his management rail "on three", only to chicken out thinking Chell won't grab him (he thinks she's brain damaged, after all) and back up. Then he decides to let go on "one" so as not to psyche himself out.
Wheatley: Get ready to catch me, alright? On the off-chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing. On three. Ready? One. Two. THREE- that's high, it's too high, isn't it, really. Okay, going on three just gives you way too much time to think about it. Let's... go on one this time, okay ready?
Web Comics
Western Animation
Real Life