Hit You So Hard Your X Will Feel It
"Tank grabbed Matua by his T-shirt and hit him with a right hand so hard that train accidents thought their father had finally come back home. It was such a terrible injustice against faces that Bono's orbital bone wrote a song about it."Stock Phrase for threatening to hit someone so hard, the damage will spread to his friend, his mom, his hair or even an abstract concept. A frequent variant is "I will hurt you so bad that X" Often used in tandem with If You Ever Hurt Her, Badass Boast, To the Pain or Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon. Sometimes used as a Pre Ass Kicking One Liner. Can be literal if there's a Psychic Link involved (doubly so for Twin Telepathy). If the harm is financial rather than physical—say, Alice is threatening to sue Bob—it may be a more realistic threat like "I'll sue you so hard your grandkids will be in debt." Not to be confused with Hit So Hard the Calendar Felt It.
- An American Football videogame (probably Blitz) featured an intercut between a little old lady shopping grocery store and 2 players on the field. When one player tackles the other, the old lady is sent flying into a display with the tagline "The game with hits so hard, your mamma's mamma will feel it."
- An issue of Plastic Man has Batman fighting Superman, with a narration box (parodying Frank Miller's style) saying "Clark. I will slap you so hard your grandchildren will look like me."
- X-Factor: Monet, after having her Berserk Button smashed, hits one of Jamie's duplicates so hard, Jamie feels it 80 years in the future.
- In Words Fail a fellow Slytherin makes a quip about Hermione being "easy" and Harry doesn't take it particularly well.
Harry: And if any of you ever see fit to say anything disparaging about her or any of my friends again, there might not be a crowd of witnesses around to stop me from cursing you so that your grandchildren will hate you for it.
- Mulan was told that punching and butt-slapping is a form of friendly gesture. Mulan did this to Yao in the wrong way and naturally, it caused a stir in Yao's rather short temper.
Yao: "I'm gonna hit you so hard; it'll make your ancestors dizzy!"
- Over the Hedge:
Stella: I'm gonna gas you so hard, your grandchildren will stink!
- The inexorable Street Fighter movie, featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme hamming it up as Guile.
Guile: Well, I'm not going to go home. I'm gonna get on my boat, I'm gonna go up river and I'm gonna kick that sonovabitch Bison's ass so HARD! That the next Bison wannabe, is gonna feel it!
- Tank Girl. While fighting Kesslee, Tank Girl says (in a voice like Muhammad Ali):
I'm gonna hit you so hard, your children will be born bruised.
- In Multiplicity, Doug issues the following threat to Doug #2 in front of Doug #3:
I'll hit you so hard I'll kill him!
- The Faculty: Mild-mannered teacher Ms. Burke, after she's been infected with the alien parasite, drops this bomb on Zeke:
I'm sick of you, little boy! And if I have to see you peddling your little Wonder Dust again, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be sucking my toes 'till graduation!
- The Goonies: After getting tied to a chair, Brand threatens Mikey and the other kids this way:
I am going to hit all of you so hard that when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style!
- From The Dresden Files:
I will kill you so hard, your last ten victims will make miraculous recoveries.
- Literal but unspoken example: At the end of the Discworld book Mort, the title character ends up in a duel with Death during which he receives a slap to the face that leaves a permanent mark. When Mort's daughter Susan is introduced in Soul Music, she has an identical mark. Death really did hit Mort so hard his child felt it.
- In the X-Wing Series of novels, a chemically augmented Gamorrean's thoughts alternates between detached analysis of his own blaster wounds and rage at his opponent, but both thoughts are in his erudite manner. Hit him so hard members of his family light-years away cry out in pain and fear.
- Kelly from Misfits is repeatedly accused of being a Chav and she eventually responds to this by screaming at another girl:
"If you call me that one more time. I'll kick you so hard in the c*nt your mum will feel it!"
- In the first episode of Leverage, the nascent team gets played by the villain, and Elliot threatens "I'm gonna hurt him so bad even people who look like him are gonna bleed."
- A variant from Law & Order, after McCoy has charged his old friend with a crime: "Once I get this dismissed I'll hit you with so many lawsuits your grandkids will be answering motions."
- Everybody Hates Chris:
White Mother: Who are you?Chris: You don't want to know.
- Rochelle once threatened Chris that she'll "smack him so hard, your race will change". She smacks him and he's suddenly Chinese.
- In "Everybody Hates Funerals", when Chris stands up for Rochelle in front of the obnoxious relatives, his grandmother threatens to "knock him into another family". Gilligan Cut to him on the couch of a white family.
- A variant from A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All: Steve sees a tiny Willie Nelson. Asked how he got there, Willie says:
Willie: Stephen, I'm so high, you're hallucinating.
- Doctor Who: In the episode "Kill the Moon", a very upset Clara told the Doctor, "If you don't tell me what that was about I'll slap you so hard you'll regenerate!"
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Used by Uncle Phil when chewing out a racist cop in "Mistaken Identity".
Uncle Phil: Just open up that damn cell and let those two boys out of there, or I'm gonna tie this place up in so much litigation, that your grandchildren are gonna need lawyers!
- From The Amazing BrandO's Castlevania 3 song:
Trevor Belmont: I am gonna whip (whip crack) you (whip crack) so hard your mom will feel it!
- Alice does this several times in Dilbert, including once when she punished the MBA-degree economists she blames for the recession by punching one of them so hard it would hurt everyone who has the same degree.
- This Get Fuzzy strip had this;
Bucky: Give it or I'll take it and punch you so hard you'll see your forefathers.
- During his 2/14/11 comeback promo, The Rock was interrupted by Michael Cole and the "anonymous" Raw general manager. Needless to say, The Rock did not take that too well.
The Rock: Michael Cole, if you take one more step towards that computer, The Rock will get out of this ring and slap the taste so far out of your mouth you'll never get it back.
- In Warhammer 40,000, during the Horus Heresy, the loyalist Primarch Sanguinius attempts to fight the traitor Primarch Horus. Horus, who by this time is hopped up on the power of all four Chaos gods, hits Sanguinius with a psychic attack so hard all of his genetic children felt it—the Black Rage of the Blood Angels is them suddenly reliving their Primarch's last moments, and they turn into furious berserkers ready to rip and tear the guts out of anything near by, friend of foe.
- Arena master from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
"You hit that Orc so hard, even her mother in Orsinium started bleeding!"
- Kid from Chrono Cross
"I'll kick yer sorry arse so hard you'll kiss the moons!"
- World of Warcraft: The tooltip for Archimonde's "Finger of Death" spell:
"Strikes an enemy with the finger of death, inflicting 20000 shadow damage upon them, their children, and their children's children."
- Ronfar from Lunar: Eternal Blue:
Kid, I'm gonna spank you so hard that your grandkids are gonna feel it!
- Angels 2200: (Whiskey to Kid's younger sister)
"I will put you on the ground so hard, even your brylcream [sic] will feel it."
- Touhou Nekokayou: "I will hit you so hard, your descendants will feel it!" (this page, panels 7-9) And they do.
- Least I Could Do: Generational Sodomy: When a man skullfucks another man so hard, his great-grandchild reaches for the back of his head and says ow.
- The Adventures of Dr. McNinja: When speaking to his younger son, Dan McNinja says
I will smack you so hard your grandchildren will be mentally disabled
- This Evon comic: "If you EVER suggest something like that again, I'll kick you in the crotch so hard people will see your balls when you COUGH!"note
- In Something*Positive, when Fred realises what a Jerkass Monette's dad is, he threatens to "beat him so hard, it'll send ripples back in time and prevent his granddaddy from plantin' baby seeds."
- Two Lumps: the trash-talking in this strip"
"I'm gonna overflow your stack so hard your momma has a segmentation fault!"
- In the Cartoon Monsoon short "Go! Go! Mobaboy", the Big Bad has the hero on the ropes at one point, and tells him "I'm gonna hit you so hard, your voice actor will feel it!"
- A popular Doctor Who internet meme centering on Rory Williams:
"Rory once punched the Eleventh Doctor. The First Doctor felt it."
- Epic Rap Battles of History: Christopher Columbus to Captain Kirk:
"I'll beat you so bad they'll feel it in the next generation!
- People who are scammed on eBay usually plan to leave feedback so negative that their ancestors/descendants will be unable to complete any transactions.
- Chuck of SF Debris says that if Shran called Sisko "Brownskin", Sisko would punch him so hard Weyoun would feel it. Weyoun is an entirely different alien simply played by the same actor.
- The Penguins of Madagascar, "Sting Operation":
Hornet: I sting you so hard your great-grandchildren say ouch!
- The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron
Cindy: I'll hit you so hard in the mouth it will wake up your dentist!
- In the Futurama episode "Xmas Story", Fry tries to avert Robot Santa's wrath by offering to put out milk and cookies. Robot's Santa's response?
Robot Santa: You dare bribe Santa? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
- The banned Popeye cartoon "Seein' Red White 'N Blue" has both Popeye and Bluto laying a smackdown on Japanese saboteurs. Popeye's pre-punch one-liner "The Emperor will feel this!" rings true. The punch travels all the way to Japan, where it knocks Hirohito over the backside of the horse he's riding:
Hirohito: It should happen to Hitler!
- The inevitable Simpsons example, complete with Lampshade Hanging:
Bart: I'll hit you so hard your whole family will feel it!
Lisa: Bart, you're in my family.
Bart: Shut up!
- In the final episode of the 1990s Fantastic Four cartoon, the Thing says of Doctor Doom "This time, I'll hit ya so hard, your grandkids'll be born bouncin'!"
- An episode in The Angry Beavers, Dagget annoys Norbert so much that he threatens to knock him into last week. This threat comes true and this repeats and becomes a "Groundhog Day" Loop. At the end, Dagget gets knocked back into the Stone Age.