Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do
Alice and Bob
are about to part ways for a while. Alice is going to be alone in a situation, possibly her first time in such a situation, and Bob feels compelled to give advice, so he tells her, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Can go one of a few ways. It may make Alice seriously consider, What Would Bob Do?
Depending on the situation, Alice may be wondering if there is anything Bob wouldn't do. Occasionally, in these situations, Bob may realize this and correct the phrase to "Don't do anything I would do."
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- Discworld's Nanny Ogg: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do."
Live Action TV
- Fawlty Towers
- Married... with Children episode "No Pot to Pease In"
- Quantum Leap
Al: Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.
- In Sliders, Rembrandt utters this phrase and a confused Colin remarks "...I do not think I know him well enough to know what he would or would not do under certain circumstances."
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"
- The Facts of Life episode "Sex Symbol"
- The League of Gentlemen
- When Castle's teenage daughter is going to the prom he tells her date "Don't do anything I would do."
- In Sex and the City, Samantha's boyfriend Smith is about to leave for a work-related venture. Samantha tells him not to do anything she wouldn't, to which he wryly repsonds "What things don't you do?" Samantha: "There are some things.... Karaoke. I don't do that."
Major Burns: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Colonel Potter: Major, I wouldn't want to do anything you would do!
- The Cosby Show: When Theo is about to head out to his Senior Prom he assures Cliff "I won't do anything you wouldn't do." Cliff responds, "Just remember: I married my prom date."
- Inverted in this strip of Doonesbury: "Don't do anything I would do!"
- Backfires in Ozy and Millie when Pirate Captain Locke pretends to be Millie at school:
Ozy: Just don't do anything Millie wouldn't do.
Locke: Okay, that should be easy enough. Listen up, everybody! We're going to consolidate our pirate booty, and then pillage the principal's office!
] Shoot... I forgot he's met