Burning Bag of Poop

The date we shared was worse than bad
It was the worst I've ever had
An angry slap's too good for you
So have this flaming bag of poo

— The Sims 2, when the "Worst Date Ever" is triggered

The "burning bag of poop" is a very old and rather gross Practical Joke in which someone puts a bag filled with feces of some variety on someone's porch or stoop, lights it on fire, rings the doorbell or knocks, and then either runs away or hides to watch. Upon answering the door, the unsuspecting target panics and stomps out the burning bag, only to realize that their shoes are now fouled.

Related to Ding-Dong-Ditch Distraction, although the end result is very different.

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Examples:

Comic Books

• Titeuf and Manu tried to pull this prank on an apartment's janitor with some dog poop rolled up in a newspaper. However, when nobody answered the doorbell, Titeuf stepped on the newspaper himself. It's then that the janitor came out of the door and punished the poop-covered Titeuf.

Films — Live-Action

• Billy Madison: Billy plays this prank on Old Man Clemens with Jack and Frank in tow, Jack having done the dirty work of shoveling the poop into the bag. As they watch from behind a bush, Clemens charges out of the house in his tighty-whitey briefs and an undershirt to answer the doorbell.
  Clemens: Judas Priest, Barbara, it's one of those flaming bags again! [he stomps out the fire, then wrinkles his nose in disgust and smells his boot] Poop again!
  Billy: He called the shit poop! [they all laugh]
• Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019): The protagonists throw a flaming bag of poop into their bully's car.
• Tales of Halloween: Combined with Bear Trap in "The Night Billy Raised Hell". Billy places a flaming paper bag on the doorstep and rings the bell, but when the householder goes to stomp it out, the bag contains a bear trap that snaps shut on his leg.

Literature

• In BOOM: Comic Confessions of a Boomer Corner Boy by Fred Lavner, part of his description of his childhood in southwest Philadelphia includes his older brother introducing him to the prank.
  The payoff for us was seeing some angry neighbor stomping out a fire and realizing that they'd just stepped in a pile of hot shit. Fun times in southwest Philly.
• A variation is mentioned in Cops: Their Lives in Their Own Words by Mark Baker, when the Bomb Disposal squad are called out for what turns out to be a 'shit bomb' which is wrapped in aluminum foil to keep the contents warm, and the smell hidden until the foil is pierced.
• A lethal variant shows up in the Arkady Renko novel Red Square. Renko and his partner Jaak are searching for someone, when they come across a cardboard box that's on fire. Jaak goes to stomp it out, but Renko holds him back; when the box burns away, they find that inside the box is an antipersonnel mine.
  Jaak: The door opened and there was a fire inside. Remember when you were a kid? Didn't you put dog shit in a bag and set the bag on fire to see people stamp it out? We used to do it all the time. Anyway, instead of dog shit there was a landmine. I can't believe I fell for it. Almost.

Live-Action TV

• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Played with in "The Gang Goes Jihad". An Israeli developer has bought a lot that includes half of the property Paddy's Pub was on and built a wall around it. Charlie, Mac, and Dennis first try to get the developer off their property by making a "Jihad Tape" to send to him, but they can't bring themselves to do it. They then use Charlie's suggestion of throwing a flaming bag of poop into the building the developer bought. Unbeknownst to them, there's a gas leak in that building, so when they throw the bag, the building explodes. Also, Charlie drops their jihad tape at the site, resulting in some major unfortunate implications.
• Malcolm in the Middle: Malcolm explains to the audience that over the years they have had a number of neighbors who move in and out of the house next door. During the montage, he and Reese do this to a neighbor for yuks, but they stop laughing when the neighbors' robe catches fire.
• Orange Is the New Black: This happens two times in "Little Mustachioed Shit". In a flashback, Alex's ex Sylvie pulls this prank on Piper after learning that she and Alex have hooked up. Later, Piper does the same to Polly after learning that she and Larry are sleeping together.
• That '70s Show: "Canadian Road Trip" begins with Eric inviting Hyde, Leo, and Fez to buy beer in Canada, and bluntly telling Kelso he can't go with them. When Kelso asks why, Eric says because when they tried to do this prank on a teacher, Kelso lit the bag on the way over, and stomped it out in the car. Eric only changes his mind when Kelso offers to pay for the beer.
• Scrubs: A flashback shows that JD, Turk and their latino friend "Caramel Bear" did this at university. Caramel Bear was grabbed by the victim of the prank and was never seen again. It's even stated that Caramel Bear's roommate got automatic As that semester^note There is an urban legend that if your roommate dies, you get all A's that semester due to the trauma making you temporarily incapable of continuing with your coursework. Doesn't happen in Real Life, though there's a grain of truth to it in that (most) professors will make allowances for the situation, such as letting the student hand in projects later than scheduled and/or take makeup tests.
• Still Standing: Parodied. Bill and Judy bring a bag of brownies to the Halversons as an apology. While writing the apology letter, they use a lighter to see, and end up lighting the bag on fire. They run away, then Ted Halverson comes outside and stomps out the flames, thinking that the brown stuff on his shoe is feces.

Music

• The Wonder Years: The video for "Came Out Swinging" features a girl in a Bedsheet Ghost outfit playing various pranks on people, which includes leaving a flaming bag of poop on a random guy's doorstep.

Video Games

• Bully: In an optional (and missable) Halloween mission, Gary and Jimmy put a bag of poop (obtained from a dog they had fed rancid meat) just outside the teacher's lounge. The fire alarm is pulled just after it's lit on fire, causing Mr. Burton to charge out of the lounge and fall victim.
• The Sims:
  • The Sims 2: A disastrous date will result in one of the Sims leaving a "Worst Date Ever" Flaming Poo Bag at the other's doorstep. Once stomped out, the unfortunate Sim reacts in disgust, and the bag begins emitting green fumes that attract flies.
  • The Sims 3: The Generations expansion pack introduces a set of pranks teenaged Sims can attempt, which includes the Flaming Poo Bag.

Web Animation

• Dorkly Originals:
  • In "Videogame Trick-or-Treating II", the ghosts try this on Pac-Man's doorstep. He sees right through it and Ms. Pac-Man gobbles the ghosts up.
  • In the short "Mario & Luigi: Prank War", Mario and Toad torment Luigi with various pranks. The last one ends up being a flaming bag of poop. Upon seeing the bag, Luigi stomps on Mario.
    Luigi: Tell me. Who. am. I?
    Mario: The prank bitch!
    Luigi:*stomps harder* WRONG ANSWER
    Mario: You're Luigi! Number one!
• Sonic for Hire: In Season 6, when Tails and co. arrive at Mario's office to rescue Sonic, they decide to drop a flaming bag of poop to screw with Mario. They end up screwing around so long they forgot to ring the doorbell and the building got set on fire.

Web Comics

• Ennui GO!: In "Nude Room Generations", Max pranks his creepy gym teacher Coach Bobert by leaving the usual burning bag at his front door, but instead of feces, the bag is filled with angry bees.

Web Videos

• 5 Second Films: "Flaming Bag of Poop".
• Red vs. Blue: In Season 14, an episode crosses over into the 'real world', where series creator Burnie Burns goes off on an extended rant at the 'Millennial hacks' (Miles Luna and crew) currently running the show.
  Burnie: Well, I guess you think you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, WE'RE so hot, we're like... a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then, you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this?! Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what?! He's not stomping on fire! He's stomping! On! SHIT! And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! THAT'S US!
  (beat)
  Josh: ...That's a really fucking weird metaphor.
  Burnie: You're a fucking weird metaphor!
• The 2015 Halloween special for the The Angry Video Game Nerd opens with this gag. The Nerd stomps out the flaming bag, then takes it inside, complaining about these goddamn kids leaving a flaming bag of shit, and then opens the bag to reveal the subject of the episode's review- The Crow: City of Angels, for Sega Saturn.

Western Animation

• In Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "The Cubing", after Frylock asks the Wisdom Cube what lies beyond the universe, the cube gives Frylock a flaming bag and tells to put it out should he desire the final answer. Unsurprisingly, it turned out to be poop inside with Shake hysterically calling it the oldest gag in the book.
• Family Guy:
  • In "Brian the Bachelor", Chris' pimple goads him into pulling this prank on the Swansons. Joe answers the door, but since he's in a wheelchair, he has to "stamp" the fire out by grabbing his legs and slamming them onto the bag.
    Joe: Oh good lord! *puts the fire out, then smells his shoe* Is that...doody?!
  • Invoked in "Family Gay" when Peter throws a dead horse through the window of Mort's pharmacy.
    Mort: Oh boy. I miss the old days when it was just a flaming bag of poop and a hurtful note.
• King of the Hill: In "The Man who Shot Cane Skretteberg", Hank and the guys watch from behind their old neighbor's fence as the teenager who's been a total Jerkass in the neighborhood gullibly steps on a flaming bag of poop on his front porch.
• The Simpsons:
  • In "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song", Bart knows where Principal Skinner lives because he pulled this prank on the principal in the past.
    Skinner: A flaming bag, eh? Well, these new Italian loafers will make short work of it! *SPLUT*
  • In "C.E. D'oh", Homer plans to leave a flaming bag outside Mr. Burns' office, only to have an Oh, Crap! when he looks inside and sees that it's full of the money for Lisa's college fund.
• SpongeBob SquarePants: In "Captain Pipsqueak", Plankton is ordered to put a bag of burning snail poop on the doorstep of a superhero who's just a foot. He steps on it (and Plankton in the process), but then it explodes his house because Plankton added some chum mixture to the bag.
• Time Squad: In "Dishonest Abe", the Time Squad attempt to out-prank president Abraham Lincoln, with one of these pranks being to drop a flaming bag of dog poop and run.

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