Literature: My Uncle Oswald

My Uncle Oswald is a satire soft porn novel written by Roald Dahl (yes, that one) in 1979. The first part of the book took part in 1912 and the second part in The Roaring Twenties. The first part of the book is about Oswald's search for an aphrodisiac, and the second part his scheme to steal and sell the sperm of the greatest men of 1920s Europe with the help of Arthur Woresley, a biology professor and Yasmin Howcomely, The Vamp.

This book features the following examples:

  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Woresley used his own sperms when testing his freezer system, with which Oswald sympathizes deeply.
  • Awesomeness by Analysis: Yasmin had a real scare while adding Albert Einstein to the collection: he immediately connected his sudden randiness to her little gift of chocolate. Luckily he didn't know enough to deduce her motive.
  • Been There, Shaped History: Oswald's crew, who (almost) scandalized every male celebrity and crowned head in Europe and collected their sperm. Though, he gives himself no credit in most cases - it's his field agent Yasmin who shakes up a number of relationships.
  • Black Comedy Rape: The Blister Beetle unleashes All Men Are Perverts and All Women Are Lustful alike, for comedic purposes. A prospective partner who doesn't know what's going on is in for it.
  • The Caper: Our cheerfully criminal protagonists are out to steal the genetic material of every marketable public figure they can.
  • The Casanova: Oswald - his nephew says Casanova is a monk in comparison.
  • Darwinist Desire: Oswald collects the sperm of geniuses in order to sell it to women who want to have genius babies. Woresley, the scientist of the team, points out that it's really the sperm of the genius's father that would be a desirable item, but Oswald points out that (a) By the time a man is recognized as a genius in his own lifetime, his father is usually deceased, and (b) This is marketing, not eugenics.
  • Femme Fatale: Yasmin.
  • Fictional Document / Literary Agent Hypothesis: It's framed as the diary of Oswald, left to his nephew and only seeing the light of day now because its contents were too explosive, etc.
  • Food Porn: Oswald is very easily distracted from his story by descriptions of the gourmet meals he has along the way.
  • Freud Was Right: Deconstructed in the most hilarious way.
    Freud: Ja, ja. It may interest you to know, fräulein, that the carrot and the cucumber are both very powerful sexuality symbols. They represent the masculine phallic member. And you are vishing either to chop it up or to pickle it!
  • Hello, Nurse!: Yasmin Howcomely was selected as the third member of the team for exactly this reason.
    Never in my short life had I seen a girl or a woman with such a stench of salacity about her[...] She was wearing a mackintosh and a wooly scarf but she might just as well have been stark naked.
  • Historical-Domain Character: Loads of them.
  • Man of Wealth and Taste: Oswald Cornelius, 'the connoisseur, the bon vivant, the collector of spiders, scorpions and walking-sticks, the lover of opera, the expert on Chinese porcelain, and without much doubt the greatest fornicator of all time.'
  • Raging Stiffie: Nine minutes after the victim swallows the beetle powder. Female victims have a corresponding response.
  • The Roaring Twenties: The second half of the book happens in this period.
  • Shaggy Dog Story: A surprising amount of the story turns out to be one.
  • Spanner in the Works: The effort to drug and swindle Pablo Picasso fails because Yasmin doesn't get a chance to pull out the drugged chocolate, the 'autograph' paper or the condom - he ravishes Yasmin the second he sees her.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Yasmin has to dress up as a man to get the donation from Proust.
  • Unfortunate Item Swap: Yasmin seducing men by feeding them an aphrodisiac-filled chocolate truffle, while eating a perfectly normal truffle herself? That has to go wrong at some point, and when she gets to the King of Norway, it does.
    His Majesty: Control yourself, madam!
  • The Vamp: Yasmin, used this way by Oswald.