Literature / Falling Apart

I'm sorry, but I don't want to live any longer. It's nothing to do with what you said, Dad, I'd made up my mind to do this ages ago. Mum, maybe it will help to think of your twins together again.

Jan, I'm leaving you my blue cashmere sweater and all my books, even though they mostly belonged to you in the first place.

Louise, you can have my diamante brooch and all my make up and any clothes you want. I'd like Carly to have my toy dog.

Goodbye.

Love from Tina

- Tina's suicide note

Falling Apart is a young adult novel by British children's author Jacqueline Wilson. It was originally published in 1989 by Oxford University Press, one of nine novels for teenagers Wilson wrote before she had her breakthrough with The Story of Tracy Beaker in the early 90s. These OUP books are relatively unknown, having been out of print for many years - bar Falling Apart which was reprinted by Melbourne-based Text Publishing in 2011.

Tina Brown is 15, the youngest of three sisters in a working-class family. Her family is still deeply affected by the loss of Tina's twin brother Tim eight years ago and she feels she is only half a person since he died. On the way to school one day, she encounters Adam and Simon, two sixth-form^note equivalent to the last 2 years of high school boys from a prestigious local boarding school. She and Simon quickly strike up a romance (albeit hampered by Adam's jealousy and mind games) but when Simon breaks up with her, she feels she has nothing to live for and takes drastic action.

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Tropes:

• A-Cup Angst: Tina is self-conscious about her flat chest, especially since her close in age sister Jan is quite developed.
• Adults Are Useless:
  • None of the adults in the story seem particularly concerned about Tina's low self-esteem and self-harm issues. Her mother's reaction when she tries to commit suicide is to get angry with her and accuse her of being selfish.
  • The psychiatrist Tina sees after her suicide attempt is similarly dismissive.
• Age-Gap Romance: A minor example but Tina is 15, whereas Simon is 17.
• Alliterative Name: Tina considers that if she marries Simon her full name could be Tina Trafford.
• Always Identical Twins: Averted with Tina and her late twin Tim. They are fraternal twins and from what we see of Tim, they have quite different personalities.
• Ambiguously Gay: It's all but explicitly stated that Adam is gay and in love with Simon. It's also implied Tina's older sister Jan may be a lesbian.
  Adam: Tina. Why do you think I got in such a state about your affair?
• Awful Wedded Life: Louise makes no bones about the fact that she's bored stuck at home with the baby, the spark has gone out of her relationship, and she absolutely hates her mother-in-law's guts.
• Babies Make Everything Better: Averted. Since she got pregnant, Louise got married and lives a depressing life at her in-laws' place.
• Big Fancy House: When Tina asks Simon how many bedrooms his house has, he isn't sure of the exact number because there are so many.
• Big Sister Instinct: While she's not always the most tactful sister, Jan clearly cares a lot about Tina, repeatedly trying to warn her that Simon might not be what he seems. After Tina's suicide attempt, she even storms into the boys' school to give Simon a telling-off and pass on the letter Tina intended to be her dying words to him.
• Bittersweet Ending: Tina's parents react badly to her suicide attempt and Simon still doesn't want anything to do with her, but Tina realises she doesn't really want to die after all. She makes plans to attend group therapy and is finally beginning to see herself as a whole person, showing that she is moving on from Tim's death.
• Boarding School: Simon and Adam attend Christophers, an exclusive boys' private school complete with housemasters, stripy blazers, and a chapel.
• Book Dumb: Not exactly dumb, but Tina doesn't really apply herself at school. Consequently, she doesn't understand most of the allusions Simon makes.
• Camp Gay: Adam. He shows off constantly, uses overly flowery language, calls himself "Auntie Adam" and is even referred to as "the camp curly-haired one" in the narration.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: While it's understandable due to her troubled home life, Tina comes on a little strong in her relationship with Simon. She's constantly paranoid that he's divulging the details to Adam. When Simon goes home over the Christmas break, she finds his number through directory enquiries, repeatedly phones his house and writes him letters every day.
• Dark and Troubled Past: Tina and her mother are still suffering with grief after Tim's death. Tina shows signs of mental health issues and mentions she used to hurt herself on purpose.
• Darker and Edgier: You'd be hard-pressed to find a modern Jacqueline Wilson book containing teenage suicide, self-harm, and a LOT of sex - her more recent books are mostly aimed at pre-teens.
• Determinator: Tina refuses to give up even when Simon finishes with her. She waits for him every afternoon at their former meeting spot and even follows him into his school chapel, convinced she can get him to take her back.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • Following her breakup with Simon, Tina feels she has nothing to live for any more. She attempts suicide by overdosing on her mother's sleeping pills.
  • Louise and Mrs Brown also mention that they've considered suicide.
• Early Instalment Weirdness: Falling Apart and most of the other OUP novels are markedly different to Wilson's more well-known works. They are written in third person, often deal with cross-class romances, and are quite bleak. Her later books are aimed at a younger audience and thus tend to feature happier endings.
• First Girl Wins: Simon ends up with Caroline, a girl he's known for a while and met before Tina.
• Freudian Excuse: It's not hard to understand why Tina latches on to Simon so strongly. Her mother is too depressed to be a parent and neglects Tina as she preferred her twin brother.
• Gay Best Friend: Simon's best friend Adam is very heavily implied to be gay.
• The Ghost: Caroline is mentioned but never seen.
• Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Averted. Tim is described as having angelic golden curls but we later learn he had a naughty streak. Similarly, Simon is blond and initially seems to fit this trope, but later treats Tina cruelly.
• Heel–Face Turn: Initially Adam messes with Tina and Simon's relationship, mocking and openly gossiping about them both. Once things start to sour between the two, he treats Tina much more kindly.
• Her Boyfriend's Jacket: Tina and Simon swap jumpers. The upmarket blue cashmere jumper he gives her becomes one of her most treasured possessions.
• Incest Subtext: One reason why Tina likes Simon so much is because he physically resembles her late brother.
• Incompatible Orientation: Simon is straight, so doesn't return Adam's feelings. He also tells Tina that he was dared to ask out her or Jan, but it was obvious that Jan (who is suggested to be a lesbian) wouldn't accept.
• Insult of Endearment: Adam likes to call Tina "Teeny Tears".^note Most likely a play on the Tiny Tears line of dolls.
• Jerkass:
  • Geoff, Louise's husband. Tina asks Louise to come with her to a pub when she's first trying to meet up with Simon. When Louise jokes about getting off with a boy there, Geoff insults her to put her off going.
    Geoff: Not you, Louise. Not now. Who'd be interested in a big fat slob like you?
  • Simon also has his moments towards the end of his relationship with Tina.
• Kick the Dog: Simon has sex with Tina and then breaks up with her straight after. Ouch.
• Love Triangle: Adam and Tina are both vying for Simon's affections. It's not made clear whether Simon is aware of Adam's feelings, but nonetheless he later rejects both of them for Adam's friend Caroline.
• Loving a Shadow:
  • Simon isn't the person Tina thinks he is, but she ignores all the signs.
  • A non-romantic example with Tim. Tina believes he was perfect and never did anything wrong (because that's how her mother sees him), but in reality he was a rather naughty kid who frequently did dangerous things.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Tina and Simon repeatedly get it on in a cemetery, no less.
• Mistaken for Pregnant: Tina's parents have already had one daughter get pregnant as a teenager, and are aware that Tina is staying out late with a boy - so they get the wrong idea when she gets a stomach bug and throws up one morning.
• My Beloved Smother: Geoff's mother is demanding and controlling towards him even though he's married with a wife and daughter. She takes advantage of the fact that Geoff and his family are living with her out of financial necessity; and acts like he's still a child, making Louise's life a misery.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Tina feels this way about her suicide attempt after a nurse chastises her by telling her a story about a young patient who died of cancer.
• Only Sane Man: Jan Brown, a studious and level-headed girl who is determined to get into university and study history, despite her dysfunctional family. She tries to make her younger sister see that her "soulmate" is just using her, but Tina doesn't want to hear it.
• Performance Artist: Adam comes from an arty family and wants to be an actor.
• Pet the Dog:
  • After spending most of the story taunting her and trying to sabotage her relationship with Simon, Adam visits Tina in hospital after she overdoses. He even brings her favourite jam tarts.
  • The usually uptight Jan offers to bunk off school with Tina when she's upset about her breakup.
• The Reveal:
  • When they are breaking up, Simon reveals he only pursued Tina as part of a bet with Adam.
  • We don't find out exactly what happened to Tim until the end of the book. When Tina's sisters visit her in hospital, she discusses how Tim died as a result of falling from of a tree he was climbing. She finally admits she blames herself for egging him on, but they reassure her it wasn't her fault.
• Rich Bitch: Simon's mother runs a successful business and is rude to Tina on the phone.
• Second Love: Simon sleeps with Caroline over the Christmas break and stops contacting Tina.
• Shotgun Wedding: Louise and Geoff got married because Louise was pregnant.
• Shout-Out:
  • To Alice in Wonderland: The patisserie Tina visits is called The Queen Of Hearts and just so happens to sell jam tarts.
  • Adam also references Alice:
  Adam: Jan tomorrow and Jan yesterday - but never Jan today...
  • Simon quotes John Betjeman's poem "In A Bath Teashop" to Tina when they visit a café together.
• Slut-Shaming: Tina recounts that Mr Brown called Louise a slag when she told him she was pregnant. Simon also has this reaction when Tina mentions Louise has a child (even though she's married.)
• Stylistic Suck: Tina's letters to Simon are written somewhat awkwardly as she struggles with spelling and punctuation.
• Survivor Guilt: Tina and Mrs Brown both suffer with intense guilt over Tim's death - Tina for encouraging him to climb the tree, and Mrs Brown for not coming to the park to supervise her children. Ultimately, Tina discovers Jan and Louise have gone through the same, and have always blamed themselves for not watching the twins. Louise also feels immensely guilty because she'd been contemplating suicide herself and confided in Tina.
• Teen Pregnancy: Louise had her daughter Carly before she was eighteen. At one point, Tina is off school with a vomiting bug and her parents worry that she's following in her sister's footsteps.
• There Are No Therapists: Played with. It's not made clear whether Tina's mother has ever seen a therapist for her grief and she takes high doses of sedative medication even years after Tim's death. When Tina is admitted to hospital, she does speak to a psychiatrist but he doesn't get to the root of her problems.
• Third-Option Love Interest: Tina and Adam are both in love with Simon, making Caroline this trope.
• Unnamed Parent: Mr and Mrs Brown, Tina's parents, are only ever referred to as "Mum" and "Dad".
• Uptown Girl:
  • Simon is the uptown boy to Tina. He is a doctor's son, lives in a five-bedroom house and attends a fancy private school as a boarder (fees for boarders are usually substantially higher than for day pupils). On the other hand, Tina's mum is unable to work due to her mental health issues and her dad is an odd-job man.
  • This later comes back to bite Tina in the ass when Simon dumps her for a girl from a similarly well-off background.
  Simon: We even went to the same Latin summer school a few years ago.
• Weight Woe: Louise used to be anorexic until she met her husband, and at one point in the story she stops eating again in an effort to lose her baby weight.

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