Just For Fun / TV Tropes Additional Hero Vows Pod B

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101. I will learn to recognize the names of people and things and infer what they tell about a person or an object. For example, I will not ignore the opportunity to obtain a sword called Excalibur, stay the hell away from someone called The Undefeated One, gladly accept a young girl named Jeanne's request to join me, and quickly realize that the girl named Venus I just came across is very likely the lost cousin of my sidekick Mars.
102. If my journey takes me to Japan, I will take the time to observe any kabuki that I casually come across. There’s a good chance whomever is working the props is actually a Ninja or ninja-in-training.
103. If the circumstances allows, I will do as much as I can to try to convince any defeted antagonists that isn't a Complete Monster, such as the Anti-Villain, Dark Magical Girl, Rival Turned Evil, or even The Dragon to see the light and make a Heel–Face Turn. Obviously, I will not force them, if I fail, I'll just try again the next time I met (and possibly fight) them.
104. Of course, before I can nicely ask my enemy for a Heel–Face Turn, I will have to fight them. Therefore, I will follow the successful magnetic heroes' examples to beat the crap out of them without holding back. Given their strength, they will survive without problem and this will eventually help the Defeat Means Friendship process in various ways.
105. If I am tasked with disposing of an Ancient Artifact, I will not split it into several parts and have them hidden all over the world. I will completely destroy at least one piece, if not all of them.
106. If I hear that an artifact has been stolen/destroyed/scattered into little pieces, before going on a quest to restore it I will do a research on the artifact in question to see if it should stay stolen/destroyed/scattered.
107. If I come across any piece of a Dismantled Macguffin that serves no purpose other than destroying the world or summoning horrific monstrosities, I'll immediately destroy it, not look for the remaining pieces. Better yet, I'll make a fake version of it, to trip up any evil-doer looking to complete the artifact. Similarly, if I find a clue to the location of such an artifact, I'll destroy that clue, not seek out the artifact. I will not lead the villain to the artifact or give him the opportunity to capture my beloved in exchange for the artifact.
108. If I am in a situation with zombie/vampire or any creature that can infect me with a bite, I will do my best to avoid being bitten. I will wear long-sleeved shirts, thick jackets and pants whenever possible. In addition, I will not poke my hand into any dark corners while scavenging. Upon entering a place, I will listen very carefully for any shuffling, moaning or any noise that the creatures typically make. I might even deliberately make some noise to determine how many of them (if any) are in the place I'm planning to scavenge or stay.
109. I will not act in such a way that might cause misunderstanding with my allies. I will do my best to communicate clearly to my allies when a situation arises. Likewise, when I see a person in my group acting strangely, I will not take it personal and start antagonizing him, but instead try to understand his/her problem. I will not raise my voice in an argument, but instead try to calm everybody down so we don't get caught off guard by a killer while arguing.
110. If our group is in unfamiliar territory, with danger lurking nearby, we will do the following. (1) Stay together, never split up from the group for any reason. (2) Whenever possible, travel during the day, especially if we're in the woods. (3) If we absolutely have to move, we will move slowly while watching all directions instead of running or looking at the same direction. (4) If the threats are closing fast, and we cannot outrun them, we will try to hide or ambush them. (5) In case of a fight, we will never hesitate to gang up on a single attacker.
111. Leather is for bags and footwear, not catsuits.
112. If my allied forces incapacitate or kill a uniformed enemy, the uniform will be taken to an independent forensics unit. Once its origins and DNA are verified, we can properly determine what to do with it next.
113. In dire situations, if any of my companion tells me to do something that seems counter intuitive, I will do as they say. Chances are that they've got a plan and I can listen to their explanation later.
114. If any of my ally tells me to do something that seems counter intuitive in any non-dire situation, I will listen to their reasons rather than saying how they are nuts.
115. I will never create any being that has a mind of its own whose sole purpose is to be used as a tool or a weapon. if I ever come across any being or person like this, I will rescue them from their misery and help them recover from their physical and psychological traumas.
116. If my superpowers are highly lethal, I'm better off as an Anti-Hero. Holding back in fights is generally not a good idea, and the people like antiheroes anyway.
117. Corollary: if I become an Anti-Hero, I will choose a city teeming with mass-murdering psychopaths as my home turf. Killing those monsters is better for my PR than murdering pickpockets or non-murderous villains.
118. If I am a dark and gritty Anti-Hero, I will befriend a Knight in Shining Armor hero with the morality of a boy scout. He will be extremely valuable as a PR-asset and as a character witness in my inevitable trial. In exchange, I will get rid of his recurring villains for good.
119. If I am a Knight in Shining Armor hero with the morality of a boy scout, I will befriend a dark and gritty Anti-Hero. He will be extremely valuable as a disposer of my recurring villains who mistakenly think that he shares my Thou Shalt Not Kill morality. In exchange, I will testify on his behalf in his inevitable trial.
120. My True Love will be left with a firmly established ally – and whatever reinforcements I can spare – with his own reasons for being part of the resistance. They will be instructed to always travel together, but not always too close.
121. My mask will be the first thing I put on when I'm getting into costume, and the last thing I take off when getting out of it. It would be quite embarrassing if my secret identity was found out because someone took a photo of me wearing the rest of my suit sans mask.
122. I will release a line of high quality replicas of my costume through a front company. That way even if I forget the previous vow, I can claim that I've been cosplaying. (The bulletproof lining will be reserved for the original suits though.)
123. If I find a villain who has ice-themed powers, I will attack him in the middle of him saying his ice-related pun. Likewise, if I have an ally who has ice-themed powers, I'll tell him to just use his attacks without the jokes. (These tactics will also be used with any other elemental beings regardless of whose side they're on.)
124. Pragmatism does not count against my hero rating, no matter what the villain says.
125. If Dark Is Not Evil, it's good enough for me.
126. There is no overkill, just 'kill it' and 'kill it again to be sure.'
127. Always write everything down in case of Amnesia Episode.
128. Alternate me's usually indicate time and space are self-destructing. In that instance, we will immediately join up to kick whatever asshole's doing it to the curb.
129. Gloating is unsportsmanlike and wastes time. Mid battle banter is not.
130. One-Handed Zweihänder make excellent chopping, slicing, dicing, logging, intimidation, bullet redirectors(with fast enough reflexes), walking sticks, hammers, and minor characters, depending on the sentience of said zweihander.
131. Linearity means it's over faster. Nonlinearity means it's over later, but I have the Infinity +1 Sword.
132. Zombies do not know the meaning of "Overkill".
133. Sanity is never a prerequisite for heroing, you'll lose it anyways.
134. You get used to the crazy stuff depressingly easy, then question your sanity. Refer to above rule.
135. If I can manipulate an element, bosses who rely on said element can be manipulated into walls, spikes, deathtraps, and off a cliff.
136. I will not take up smoking, nor will smoking be allowed within ten feet of our base of operations. One, the effectiveness of cigarettes to create smoke signals has not been proven. Two, if an enemy is a chain smoker, his habit will instinctively give him away.
137. Shotguns have a range of 'it plus about a yard'. On the plus side, bloody giblets if an idiot Mook gets in range.
138. Look into neutral deities before doing something to accidentally piss them off.
139. Refusal means stubbornness, acceptance means they're either a fanboy (refer to rule 33), stupid, insane, or a spy.
140. Hammers solve all blunt-force related problems.
141. Chainsaws are perfectly acceptable weapons. The Evil Overlord is just lying.
142. Transformations will not be baleful. They will be functional.
143. Remind me to schedule another therapy session.
144. Polygamy is a valid approach to romance if played right. If not, claim chastity.
145. "Hunting" doesn't mean "AOE the place and pick up the remains".
146. Railguns are Awesome, but Impractical. Orbital Bombardment cannons are not.
147. Kill Sat do orbit every now and then.
148. Point black hole gun away from face.
149. If the gun plays the 1812 Overture when it's fired, it's considered overkill.
150. Macross Missile Massacre and laser barrages will not work. Mass Driver cannons will.
151. If at first you don't succeed, berserk.
152. Rage is a steroid and an anesthetic. As is adrenaline.
153. I will watch my step around any and all ancient temples and tombs. Chances are whatever I grab is going to lead to trouble up the wazoo.
154. If an ally says something is too easy, that definitely means it's a trap.
155. If an ally says something along the lines of 'It's quiet', it's also a trap.
156. I shall never accept a supernatural deal.
157. If it recovers health, it's more common than dirt. If it recovers power for spells/abilities, it's rarer than an honest villain.
158. Deception means I passed the Speech check.
159. Speech and Charisma are the second most important skills/traits after combat ability.
160. Perk systems will be abused to hell and back.
161. Gambling is never a good idea. Understanding how such games work always is.
162. No, I will not follow the Obviously Evil version of me. But there's nothing wrong with having my opposite number following his obviously good version of him.
163. Lasers make for good intimidation tactics against Mooks.
164. Who says you can't enjoy beating the hell out of the villain of the week?
165. Always adhere to the Seventy Maxims for Maximally Effective Mercenaries, particularly Maxim #37.
166. A PR department works wonders for your public image.
167. If I end up destroying sections of inhabited locations, I will claim the villain did it.
168. Collateral damage is not a myth.
169. Weapon Twirling is a useful distraction in some cases, but not in others.
170. Rule of Cool applies to everything, including the bitchin' blade I just picked up.
171. Shooting the villain in the middle of his monologue does not count against my morality. Hell, anyone can have the honor of delivering the death blow to the Overlord — though usually better to leave that to his underlings.
172. Morality Meters are pointless.
173. If the villain can do it when we fight, he can do it if he joins me.
174. My puns and jokes will come after the attack.
175. Anything and everything can be an improvised weapon based on the location.
176. There's nothing wrong with unwinding at a bar or a club every now and then. However, we will not dance with a stranger, lest it result in a Bar Brawl simply because of a jealous partner.
177. Just because every member of a certain race or tribe has always been hostile towards me, does not mean that the next one I encounter will be hostile. After all, that other one might have been the sort that gives their race/tribe such a bad name. Alternatively, the reverse could be true. That being said, I won't be so foolish to just be openly friendly towards them, although being polite towards them might help.
178. I shall be an Equal Opportunity Employer. No matter what a person's race, species, religion, sexual orientation, gender, national (or planetary) origins, skin color, hair color, shoe size, (and everything else), I shall have no issues hiring them, pending a background check. I can gain the favor of the minorities this way.
179. If I know that my allies can be extremely powerful when they go berserk, and the situation is looking dire, I will try to get hit and pretend to be killed, which is almost certain to let most of my allies go into Roaring Rampage of Revenge, turning the tide of the battle. However, this is a last resort and should definitely not be used regularly.
180. In fact, if me and my companions can become almost invincible during an Unstoppable Rage, then I should probably figure out how to control and use our hidden inner power, essentially turning this uncontrollable Berserk Mode into a controlled Super Mode.
181. If I truly believe in Right Makes Might and this way of heroism has got me into many near-death situations but I managed to survive all these impossible odds, I will continue my Honor Before Reason ways without any doubt, as it might be foolish, but it will always work out in the end.
182. I will see that my forces are cross-trained in all elements of fighting. This includes Melee, Ranged, Magic, and support elements, like Stealth, Healing, Foraging, and anything else. (Also see Rule #26.)
183. Likewise, my ninjas shall learn from my swordsmen so that they can deliver powerful hits, just as my swordsman will learn from them on how to deliver stealthy ones. This goes with my archers learning how to use magic from my mages and my mages learning how to use archery from my archers. Likewise, all four groups will learn from each other, and all other specialized groups will also learn from each other. (Again, also see Rule #26.)
184. If I am a Monster Slayer, I shall find a friendly monster who is of the same species as the one I'm hunting, and ask them for advice, and maybe practice techniques on. After all, just because I have the weapon that can kill the monster, that doesn't mean I know the monster's weakest point to make the kill easy for me.
185. If I am a Monster Hunter, I shall study my target. If my target is indeed a vicious man-eater, I will see about killing them. If they are friendly, or fight because they have no choice, I'll see if a deal can be made instead between them and the village that hired me; said monster might actually be able to protect them, and help them with farming and building, and whatever else it is village farmers do.
186. I shall read the Evil Overlord Vows, and then insert false information in it.
187. There is always a place in one of my forces for someone of dubious character or mental health.
188. I shall adopt a plain and mundane name, such as Bob, or Alice, or something just as common. Those with an Awesome McCoolname, like The Destroyer, tend to last two seconds in a fight. Those with boring names, they can take out entire armies. A combination of names is also not unheard of.
189. I shall assume that the Evil Overlord has read this list, as well as those preceding it, and has inserted false information into it. That being said, I shall see about fixing it.
190. If I have befriended a powerful monster, and said monster wishes to have first crack at the Evil Overlord, I shall let them do so. If they scare away half of the enemy's forces, good. If they kill the other half, good. If they devour the Evil Overlord, I shall see that they get some Pepto-Bismol for any heartburn, indigestion, nausea, upset stomach, or diarrhea, as the Evil Overlord might be a little extra spicy for them.
191. If the Evil Overlord says "No Man of Woman Born can kill me!" I shall take a quick look at myself, to see if I am a woman, or even not human, and if this is true, I'll just say, "Too bad I am not a man of woman born then." At which point, I'll have also just killed them.
192. Likewise, if I am indeed a man, but not of woman born, either through cloning or test tubes, or some other scientific or magical thing, I can still kill them.
193. If there is a woman, or a man not born of a woman, or even a non-human in my party, I shall simply give the One Weapon that can kill the Evil Overlord to them, and let them do the job, and, because we knew that this was a possibility all along, we'll carry out the plan where we protect that person, until they can kill the Evil Overlord.
194. If it turns out that I am just the Decoy Protagonist, and that another member of my party is the True Hero, who is destined to defeat the Big Bad, I shall have the decency to train them, and that, when the time comes, pass them my sword and shield, and let them fulfill their role. Hopefully this will just mean that I won't be as famous as them afterwards, and it wasn't because I got killed, like a number of mentors and such who tend to have this dealt out to them in this particular role.
195. If the Big Bad says "Nothing of this Earth can kill me!", I shall check to see if someone from Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, another planet, a fictional realm, or an alternative Earth, is a member of the party, and let them do the job. I will also look into acquiring some Thunderbolt Iron.
196. On the other hand, if the Evil Overlord declares that "Nothing sentient can kill me!", I'll remind him that my bullets are in fact, not sentient.
197. If I have a permanent base, from which I launch my operations, I shall make sure to have a garden. Not only are having fresh homegrown fruits and vegetables important to your health, to say nothing about having herbs to flavor meat, but flowers are nice to look at. It's a great way to relax, especially if the day was rough. Besides, I can utilize the garden as part of a disguise for the base. After all, an armed camp is an obvious threat to an Evil Overlord, but a place seemingly filled with farmers just might fool him long enough for me to plan my attack against him, among other things.
198. Also, I shall remember to bring my loyal robot companion on my journey, especially if said companion is programmed for combat. Alternatively, I shall remember my magical minions tend to help me out.
199. If need be, I shall hire mercenaries. Despite their reputation for working for the Evil Overlord, Hired Guns are at times loyal to those who pay their checks, and there are plenty who honor their contracts. Besides, some have goals similar to mine, and money just might be the incentive they need to fight for my side.
200. Likewise, I might just use money as a means to get the Evil Overlord's men to either leave him, look the other way, or betray him. I just have to be smart about which minion I try to bribe.