Funny / Two Best Friends Play Let's Play 2012

Return to the main Two Best Friends Play Funny Moments index here.

Resident Evil 2

• Upon meeting Marvin - the sole surviving cop in the police station - Pat brings up Marvin's concept design and how he looked suspiciously similar to Will Smith, to which Matt responds that he still does; Pat amusedly declares "He's a pixellated fuckin' MESS!"
• (The guys are talking about System Shock.)
  Matt (imitating SHODAN): You think you can defeat me, hacker? well, you cannot, 'cuz my shit is running crazy styles all over this bitch.
  Pat: I think your memory is a little off.
  Matt: No, that was verbatim!
  • Immediately afterwards followed by their prediction for the next title in the series. Snoop Dog & Dr. Dre Present: System Shock 3: Back to the West Coast.
• During Part 4 of their playthrough, Pat is talking about a file in the game (the contents of which he apparently memorized), when he adds:
  Pat: I dunno, I didn't work for Capcom back in '97.
  Matt: You didn't? Wait, wait, whoa whoa, you didn't?
  Pat: No, back when I was ten years old, I did not work for Capcom.
  Matt: Jesus, tons of revelations coming out during this...
• Partway through Part 9 of their playthrough (at the end of Claire's A scenario), their usual off-topic conversation gets lampshaded.
  Matt: So this is the part in RE2 where you have nothing to do.
  Pat: Yeah, absolutely. I've killed all the enemies in the game, and so that means it's time to talk about Lethal Weapon.
• During Part 11:
  Pat: If you use first aid spray, it knocks your ranking down.
  Matt: Oh, we can't have that, can we?
  Pat: No, I want to play with some HUNKs. (Beat) Shut up, just shut up. I don't wanna hear whatever you're about to say about that.
• In Part 12, Matt explains the expression "Soup Kitchen". Pat immediately wishes he could unlearn it.
• Part 14, where we have reached discussions about how much Hideo Kojima can possibly stretch out the Metal Gear series; Whilst the two show genuine enthusiasm for a WW2-era game starring the Boss, Matt has them both rolyling with laughter following his proposal of one of the game's interactive scenes featuring Ocelot's birth.
  Matt: Ocelot's going to shoot out of the Boss' vag and he's gonna be spinning the umbilical cord around his finger, over his back n' shit!!
• Also Part 14, Matt suddenly leaves and Pat has to monologue.
  "If you're wondering why I'm talking to myself, it's because Matt fucked off for no reason. He doesn't care about you. He thinks you're all stupid! But that's okay. Because I'm still here, I guess."
• Also, the ongoing saga of Mister X; Upon the scene where he bursts through the wall of the RPD's briefing room, Matt bellows;
  Matt: HEY I'M DOING A PRESS CONFERENCE HERE, MOTHERFUCKER!!
• Toward the end of Leon's Scenario B, Matt questions the viability of Umbrella selling the B.O.W.'s they're making to people. Pat lampshades the issue with even selling the monsters by stating only Hunters are even remotely viable, before going on to expose the problem with using the monsters as a weapon or dropping the T-Virus on a populated area, in that you not only have the remaining populace to deal with, but the uncontrollable monsters you've unleashed. Needless to say, Umbrella's business strategy needs work.

Silent Hill: Downpour

• Pat's Tour-Guide Nixon voice.
  • "Kids love the Devil!"
• Matt losing his shit over the implausibly evil names of Silent Hill's tourist destinations, culminating in him bellowing "COME TO THE FUCKING DEVIL'S PIT AND SEE THE CAVE OF TEARS!" during Pat's Tour-Guide Nixon voice.
• The sequence with Pat encouraging Matt to shift a box around in Part 4 of the Let's Play. Because of Pat's tone and the length of the sequence - the sheer number of times that Pat tells him "No, forward a little. Back a little. Forward some more," - it really just makes it seem like Pat is fucking with Matt and Matt doesn't realise it. I don't think Pat meant it to be funny, but given than he's set Matt up with a lengthy setup before (as in one of the Assassin's Creed videos), it's one of those things I expected to have a payoff.
• "Train guy was DRUNK!"
• Matt repeatedly going up to flashing objects, and wondering what they are, and if he can pick them up and use, even though he's seen them a million times before, and Pat keeps telling him they are not good weapons.
  (Matt sees a flashing pile of bricks that look exactly like bricks he has picked up before)
  Matt: What's that?
  Pat: That's bricks!
  Matt: Oh, I thought it was like a pile of bricks. What's that?
  Pat: (tired) That's a fire extinguisher.
• Part 9 sees them in an unusual office with one of the game's numerous files;
  Pat: Pick up that evil book!
  Matt: Necronomicon!!
• How does Matt begin Part 10? By accidentally chucking his axe, one of the most valuable weapons in the game, into the giant gorge in the middle of the street. You just can't beat that.
  • Made even better that most of part ten is just Matt wandering around haplessly looking for a light bulb not even vital to the main plot, of all things.
  • Actually, what makes it even funnier is that right after Matt throws the axe, he goes to get another weapon and gets attacked by a monster—which genuinely scares Matt.
• In Part 11, they go into a flashback in the movie theater. After only mild reactions/gasps to the game's previous Jump Scares, Matt freaks out when a basketball falls out of a basketball hoop. Pat immediately turns it into a joke.
  Matt: AAAAAH! That was scary!
  Pat: I wasn't paying attention. What happened?
  Matt: A little, a little, uh, basketball fell from the hoop.
  Pat: That's the ghost of the Harlem Globetrotters.
• Also in the flashback, as Matt gets approached by a monster after exiting a house:
  Pat: (nonchalantly) Oh, hey...
  (Matt one-shots the monster in the face before it even has a chance to attack, causing riotous laughter from both of them)
  Matt: (making Murphy stand over the fallen monster) Tell my wife hello. (Double Tap)
• Matt's general inability to navigate through the game. It's across a number of episodes, but the amount of times Pat has told him to go right or left and Matt's gone in entirely the opposite direction is getting too high to count.
• In Part 13, Matt forgets how the combat controls work, and repeatedly throws his axe at enemies standing right in front of him. Funnier, this proves to be far more effective than just hitting them with it.
• Matt utterly hates the entire "school play" puzzle. Pat adopts a hilariously sarcastic tone while guiding him through it.
  • Also Pat discussing the absurdity of performing a play in an orphanage.
  Pat: It's like, "hey kids, put on this play for the parents you don't have!"
• In part fifteen, Matt is attacked by the boss, a giant man in a gas mask.
  Pat: Aw c'mon HUNK, I didn't mean it when I said Tofu was better! The Fourth Survivor rocks!
• "ENJOY YOUR CHAIR, SHITLORD!"
• Matt points out yet another plothole in Part 17: "Why does the prison that has no electricity, have electricity?"
• Matt and Pat's speculation on Murphy's wife in Part 17 after reading her letter is just hilarious.
• Every time Pat reads a blacked out name in one of the notes or files. It always comes out as some weird noise akin to "derpy derp."
• Pat pronounces Murph's name in a weird New York Accent for most of the game, ala "Moiph."
• Matt's refusal to run away from an enemy as it caused him to hit a wire and get electrocuted. He simply turns around and kills the creature with the axe, screaming, "AMERICA!" on the killing blow.
• Matt's growing exasperation at having to read every single note out loud.
  Pat: Oh, look, a note!
  Matt: GODDAMMIT!
  • At one point Pat sarcastically notes that when he played RE2 Matt was constantly bugging him to stop and read the various files in the game.
• "WHY ARE YOU LYING?!"
• Any time they mock the utter lack of anything scary in the game. Especially if they deadpan about how they peed their pants at a cheap Jump Scare.
• Matt and Pat comment how the game would be actually scarier with dubstep.
  • "WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB."
• While wandering around the abandoned diner in Part 2.
  Pat: *reading a kid's guidebook* "Hey kids: Is Silent Hill a special place to you? If you were naming this area, what would you call it?" I'd call it the fucking Devil's Asshole!
• YO, DON'T PUT YOUR DICK IN THERE!
• The conversation about Triangle Girl, immortalized in this animation by Plague of Gripes.
  Sater: First time visitor, huh?
  Pat: SEE?! Like, everyone knows that Silent Hill is totally fucked.
  Matt (imitating Sater): Oh, you didn't know about our crazy zombie people running around, did you?
  Pat (also imitating Sater): Are you saying you don't know Pyramid Head?
  Matt: Pyramid Head and me, we go way back. We used to drive around in our Jeep Chevys.
  Pat: I used to date his sister, Triangle Girl!
  Matt: Triangle Girl's crazy hot!
  Pat: She gives the worst head!
  Matt: She's so sharp and polygony!
  Pat: It's like driving a protractor up your dick! It's the worst!
• The game has a UV light that often shows large bloodstains on the walls. Pat mentions a video comment claiming a UV light shouldn't show bloodstains (it first needs to be sprayed with the chemical luminol), then concludes the walls were actually covered in semen.
• "IT'S NOT A NAGITAMA!!! THAT'S NOT A WORD!!!"
• After hours and hours of monotonous, tedious, nonsensical gameplay, Matt and Pat end the game in Part 19 the only truly appropriate way possible—by simultaneously screaming "FUCK YOU!" at the "Thank you" screen at the end credits. Well said, gents. Well said.

Final Fight Streetwise

• "That dog'll never ride a horse again."
• Devin "The Stiff", the boss that WILL! NOT! DIE!
• The end of Part 9, in which the game crashes, and the last minute or so of the video is Matt and Pat riffing over a completely black screen.
  • And, of course, this sent the two back four parts of the review, because the game can only save when you quit.
• Part 10, where Pat spends a majority of a timed level trying to figure out how to dodge from Matt, who figured it out while playing the game back to where they were only to forget it.
• More of a meta Funny Moment than anything, but this game was so aggressively awful that the Let's Play was put on hold, because Pat refused to play it any more. The breaking point might have been the game not saving after a second boss battle with Devin "The Stiff" (see above)
• Matt saying "I need a cookie" in this adorable childlike voice in part 5, and their subsequent dissection of Matt's work ethic and Woolie's fear of his parents.

Donkey Kong Country

• In the Elevator Antics stage at world five, they have just arrived at the end of a difficult stage when Matt follows a set of elevators down a chasm freaking Woolie out; but it just happens that brings them to a bonus area. It is specially funny when you remember the ending of Matt's and Pat's video in the Wii's Donkey Kong.
• Matt as Diddy finding an enemy that only DK is heavy enough to jump on, so he tags in Woolie, who promptly misses the jump and dies.
• After beating the World 5 boss, Mat and Woolie get psyched to take on K. Rool... only to end up having to go through World 6 first, which Mat completely forgot about.
• As the credits roll and Cranky Kong stops by to boast about how much better he is than the player, Woolie decides to take potshots at a certain hotheaded member of the Zaibatsu who isn't currently around to defend himself:
  Matt: (reading Cranky's lines) I beat this using one life!
  Woolie: Sure ya did, Pat.
  Matt: (still reading Cranky's lines) And I took less than an hour! (dissolves into laughter)
  Woolie: SURE YA DID, PAT.

Super Best Friends Watch: Metroid Other M

• A few minutes after comparing the soldiers in Other M unfavorably to the squads in Aliens and Predator:
  Woolie: Okay, y'know what? There really should've been a Vasquez on this team.
  Pat: Absolutely! Y'know who it should've been? SAMUS! You fuckin' idiot!
• At the end, Anthony turns out to be alive.
  Matt:The black guys survives to the end.
  Pat: Expectations were trumped!
  Woolie: Didn't see that one coming!
  Pat: It's a loss for women, but go black guys!
• Matt's Motherbrain voice. It's fucking hysterical.
• Pat and Woolie arguing about the game, with Pat especially getting riled up:
  Pat: Oh no the baby, what if I never see the baby again? What will I do with out the baby—cause I'm a lady, I need babies!
  Woolie:—W-well, they do!
  Pat: (very angrily) NO THEY DON'T!
  Woolie: THEY DO.
  Pat: NO THEY DON'T!
• Samus' Menopause Adventures
  Pat: "Oh, the baby! I need the baby!"
  Woolie: 'Cause she really sounds like a hysterical 40-year-old woman.
  Pat: Hell yeah. How do you know she's not 40 years old? This whole weird thing can be accounted for because it's Samus' Menopause Adventures.

Super Best Friends Watch: Metal Gear Solid 4

• On sending Metal Gears to the moon:
  Woolie: Brother! We are the moon now!
  Pat: We'll drag the moon into the 21st century!
  Matt: The moon is just a big, huge Metal Gear. You won't believe how big this Metal Gear is.
• When discussing Peace Walker:
  Pat: First of all, he romanticizes Sandinista rebels from Nicaragua which is super weird-
  Matt and Woolie: Nicaragua.
  Pat: -which is super weird. But then-(Woolie laughs) What was that?
• While Pat and Woolie discuss the game intelligently, Matt is the only one who focuses on Johnny's butt until the end of the video.
  Matt: That is really spankingly, well done ass, I have to say. That was modeled really well.
  at the end of the video:
  Matt: Man, that is a really well rendered butt.
  and later:
  Matt: And right now Snake should be telling Johnny he has a nice butt.

Heavy Rain

• The game constantly interrupting them at the start of the video about installations and using peripherals that Pat does not have, such as the PS Eye Camera and Playstation Move. At one point, Pat was explaining why they decided to do a Let's Play, despite already having done an episode on it before, but gets sidetracked by all the loading and a warning screen about the PS Eye.
  • Then it's revealed the reason they chose it was because of how easy it was for them to riff on the first time; they only needed a half-hour to collect all the footage they posted on their initial video, way less than their usual ones.
• Matt: "But these prompts are easy, though!"
• Matt and Pat continuously mocking Ethan's (and the children's) bad accents, and their utter contempt for Blake and his over-the-top aggressiveness.
• When Ethan hallucinates that time has stopped in the train station and sees Jason searching for him, Pat immediately shouts, "ZA WARUDO!"
• Pat's reaction to seeing Nathaniel's apartment, covered with religious paraphernalia, and wall-to-wall with crucifixes.
  "Hey, this looks like Woolie's mom's house!"
• Pat's expert babysitting, culminating in Pat wondering why he can't just put the baby's bottle in the microwave.
  Pat: Baby will learn the rules of the Wasteland.
  Pat: And then the baby will burn its lips a little, and grow up to be humongous.
  Matt [Russian accent]: Get out of here Baby STALKER.
  Pat [Also Russian]: Baby S.T.A.L.K.E.R., you are too strong!
• Matt and Pat on Shelby's reluctant partnership with Lauren.
  Matt [singing]: It's private dick and prostitute! Solving all the problems of the dead children!
  (beat, game focuses on Shelby and Lauren pulling up in their car)
  Pat: ...these kids are pretty dead.
  (both of them start making electric guitar noises)
• Pat torturing Matt when Norman Jayden is examining the piece of evidence that will lead to the fight with the Scary Black Man:
  Matt: Oh that's that black guy you have a terrible fight with.
  Pat: Maybe...
  Matt: It's the first video that made me think "I hate Heavy Rain." (Pat laughs) that I remember seeing. I was like: "I have no interest in this now."
  Pat: It's an optional fight; you don't have to do it.
  Matt: That's cool.
  Pat: We're gonna do it though! (deranged giggling)
  Matt: You're the worst best friend.
  Pat: I am the worst.
• Upon being introduced to the character of John Shepperd, Pat makes a Mass Effect 3 reference to it's notorious ending.
  Pat: Commander Shepard! Commander Shepard got pissed off about his shitty ending and back in time to fuck up the ending for another game!
• The horrible line reading of the protagonist yelling for his son Jason is pretty funny. "JAY-SUN!" And it gets better in Part 8, when he hallucinates his son in a crowded train station and he starts yelling for him again, with the exact same sound clip.
  • Their reactions to the sound clip are even better. Pat laughs hysterically, and Matt just screams in disbelief.
• When Lauren explains to Shelby that her son often got into fights with other kids:

  Pat: (in a bad French accent) My mom isn't a prostitute- even if she is a prostitute!

• Mat, when a Madison segment turns out to be an Ethan one.
• They lost their shit when they see Shelby sitting at his table, looking incredibly defeated, after failing to convince Lauren to give up on catching the Origami Killer by themselves.
• Pat's hilarious reaction when he finds out that Daigo, of EVO fame, is actually a nurse. He's filled with joy by the fact that Woolie got beat by a male nurse.
• Pat hoping that Lauren isn't "crammed full of dicks" when Shelby goes back for her after his golf appointment with Kramer.
• In the Finale, when Madison needs to escape from a burning apartment, Pat decides to talk about the infamous "fridge nuking" scene from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seemingly for no reason. Pat then does exactly that to survive an imminent explosion. Mat's reaction is priceless.
• During the credits, Pat decides that since Beyond: Two Souls already has 'ghost tricking' as a mechanic what it really needs is Missile. Naturally this leads to a discussion on the awesomeness of Wishbone.

Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

• Pat's incredulous "Thanks, zombie man?" when Ellia gets the Essence of Mantorok from the latter's guard in Episode 3.
• To people already familiar with the game, hearing Pat groaning "Charlemaaaagne..." zombie-style in Anthony's chapter before the "Charlemaaaagne!" scene actually happens may be worth a smirk.
• In Part 4, Pat interrupts Matt's explanation of how the Trapper enemies work with...
  Pat: Oh, SHIT!
  Matt: What?
  Pat: Blood comin' off the wall!
  Matt: ...Suuuuure.
• In Part 5, Pat has finally taken enough damage to his sanity meter for the house to start freaking him out. Such as the random knocking on doors, or the statue that watches him as he moves.
  Pat: It's already - I'm too nuts. I've done a bad job.
  • Also in Part 5, the infamous Bathtub Scare.
  Pat: ...Is that the fuckin' bathtub scare?!
  Matt: Yeah.
  Pat: Jesus! I've heard about that thing a billion times! ...And I knew that this game had a bathtub scare! And it still got me!
• Part 6 abruptly ends when a fire alarm goes off, causing Matt and Pat to both leave partway through the Let's Play.
  • In later episodes, whenever they return to that room, Pat exclaims, "I remember this room! It's the fire alarm room!"
• In part 7, Matt tries to warn Pat not to heal when your sanity is low. But...
  Matt: Oh hey guess what-
  Pat: It's fine.
  *Karim explodes from the waist up*
  Pat: ...It's fine.
• Tour-Guide Nixon voice returning in Part 9.
• In the Lindsey chapter, Pat runs low on health and magic. He heads off to a side room to recover, but he needs walking distance to Walk It Off. Ignoring Matt's advice, he decides to walk through the hallway of swinging blades instead of circling the entrance.
  Matt: But you couldn't do this before!
  Pat: It's fine!
  *Lindsey gets chopped in half and collapses, Matt is Dumb Struck*
  Pat:...WHOOPS!
  • Gets worse in the next part where they reveal that they are rerecording the current part because they accidentally lost 40 minutes of footage after Pat died.
• Also in the Lindsey chapter, while looking at an odd statue, Matt delivers one of the most hilariously epic verbal smackdowns ever spoken on TBFP:
  Pat: Oh hey, it's that weird man-faced thing with the boobs.
  Matt: You mean Woolie?
  (prolonged silence, as Pat very audibly holds back from saying anything)
• Near the beginning of the next episode where they run into a room full of blue zombies, and they decide to to enchant the shotgun to see what it will do. After laughing at the terrible enchanting animation, this happens:
  Pat: Alright let's give this gun a shot.
  *One-Hit Kill all zombies in the room*
  Matt: (While Pat is laughing hysterically) What?! So, that worked out well!
  • They then proceed to call it the Insanity Shotgun (it's enchanted by the insanity-aligned god). When they later enchant the gun with power, they lament that "Power Shotgun" doesn't sound as cool.
• During the opening cutscene of Paul Luther's chapter, Augustine's welcome for Paul to the cathedral ends with him speaking very lowly close behind him with his hands on his shoulders.
  Matt: LICK HIS EARLOBE!
• By the time Paul finds the body of a murdered priest in the church, Matt and Pat have already figured out that Augustine is actually Pious, and that he's the priest's killer. When Pious orders the other Inquisitors (who presumably also already know who killed the priest) to detain Paul as a suspect in the murder, Pat cuts in.
  Pat: Pious, you are such a weird asshole!
• The polar opposite of Lindsey's needless death occurs at the end of Part 12, where Paul Luther, now controlled by Matt, dies fighting one bone thief and Pat gets mad, then even madder when he realises Matt hasn't been Save Scumming and has thus lost an entire part's worth of progress, declaring he'll take back control and at least do a better job in that regard. The video ends in the middle of their bickering Like an Old Married Couple.
• In Part 14, they finally get to face the giant monster boss that they saw Pious summon earlier in the chapter. It steps on Paul and squishes him like a bug in a cutscene. Even funnier because Matt prepped a bunch of spells for the fight and was psyching himself up for it beforehand. Made even funnier by Pat's stunned "...OKAY!"
• At the beginning of Part 15, Pat shows some trepidation at the narrative's demand that they now find eighty-eight keys. Matt's a little quicker to catch on:
  Pat: I need eighty-eight fuckin' keys!
  Matt: Now —
  Pat: That's where we fuckin' left off!
  Matt: I'm gonna use my own brain —
  Pat: Mhm.
  Matt: — and say that we probably need to find a piano.
  Pat: Use your — [long pause] OHHHHHHHHH! Man that's good.
• The Running Gag of not realizing which Ancient's magic to cast against which other one reaches its peak in Part 16, when they see a rune and proceed to waste the rest of the video doing nothing productive to dispel it. This is 1 minute after they remind everyone they remembered it.
• In general, whenever they get trolled by the sanity effects, particularly the fake To Be Continued screen and the hallway full of illusionary shotgun ammo.
• Part 21 begins with Matt and Pat explaining that it took them over an hour to figure out how to defeat the boss. Then, once they finally figured it out, they re-recorded the fight... and accidentally didn't save the audio. So they had to fight it again.
  • When Pat enters the Roivas' basement to restore power to the second floor bathroom. He gets to the bathroom and just before entering, realizes he completely forgets about the fusebox. After using the penny in place of a fuse, he gets back to the second floor and enters the bathroon to find that he forgot to trip the breaker.
• In Part 23, they are struggling in a room where there are a couple difficult enemies and die. When they try again they use as many buffs as they can (including turning "Fucking Invisible") but when the enter the room, they decide to try and run through the room since the monsters don't notice them. They succeed. Cue hysterical laughter.
  Matt: "Holy shit, this is some Assassin's Creed shit here!"
• Part 25/26 has several call backs to their Silent Hill: Downpour playthrough, including the Fire Axe (which Matt repeatedly tells Pat to throw away), calling the underground ruin the Devil's Pit, and Pat's Tour-Guide Nixon voice. This may also be a reference to a Plague of Gripes animation, which depicted that part of their Downpour playthough.
• Just as Matt and Pat are getting the hang of the boss fight - and they're reallly pumped about it - Pat gets trapped inside one of Pious's damage field spells and is killed. Cue restarting the boss fight.

Way of the Samurai 4

• Their reactions when they reach the end of their playthrough and end up getting boiled alive by Kinugawa, and their subsequent reactions on how this was apparently the Normal Ending.