Pat: Okay, dude, you can totally, like, wear outfits. Matt: Like... like a skater outfit. Pat: Yes, like a skater outfit. Cut to Chuck wearing cut offs, Groucho Marx glasses, and a stocking cap while riding a pink bicycle. Pat: What're you doing? Matt: It's... you said I could do anything. Pat: Yeah, but... Jesus Christ. This isn't gonna save Katie. Matt: Really, are you sure? I think this is saving Katie. Now, see, this is... Pat: What is wrong with you?!
Near the end where Matt has Chuck wearing a white sunddress and fighting off a tiger with a purse.
Pat: Why do you keep wearing ladies' clothing? Why are you always wearing ladies' clothing?
Matt completely screws up the game by not giving Chuck's daughter her medication in time, causing her to turn into a zombie:
Pat: He was your only friend in this horrible wasteland, and you murdered him.
Matt: It was an accident!
And then the guy respawns, prompting:
Matt: Wait, what—
Pat: What the shit?!
Matt: I killed him!
Pat tricks Matt into getting eaten by a giant monster fish for giggles.
"The World's Littlest Hobo!"
Pat coaxing Matt into shooting Ashley while she's in her knight armor.
When Pat is in disbelief that Matt throwing grenades at enemies on a bridge actually works.
Matt when shooting the first crow:
Matt: That bird had a grenade in it's head! I got it before it got me.
Mortal Kombat 9
Pat's love of invisibility:
Pat as Smoke: Yeah, invisible! Matt as Kung Lao: Why do you keep taking invisible dudes?! Pat: Because invisibleness is awesome! A few seconds later Pat: Totally! Matt: Aw shit! Pat while smashing Kung Lao's face: Invisible x-rays! Matt laughs Pat: You can't even see it, it's like magic surgery! After Matt knocks Scorpion into The Pit Pat: I bet ya Reptile is hanging out down there. You can't see him though. You know why? Matt:[sarcastically] Oh why? Why? Pat: 'CAUSE HE'S FUCKIN' INVISIBLE!
The Sheeva vs Sheeva fight, in which Matt and Pat spam Sheeva's "flies up in the arm, drops on you and stomps on you a little" attack.
The dialogue that follows the Cage vs Kano fight.
Pat: Where the fuck did he go? Did he just jump off the side? 'See you later, fuckers!'
Matt: Oh wait, there's spikes.
Pat: Yeah, 'cause the eighty-foot drop to the floor would've been fine if there were no spikes.
Matt: He can fly through the air in ball form!
Pat: Are you just saying he's just flying around the island in a ball?
Matt: He's Australian Samus! He's Screw Attacking all the way back to his house.
When smooth jazz is deployed:
Matt: Smooth jazz? Pat: You ready for some smooth jazz? Smooth jazz starts playing Matt: Awwww shit. Pat: It's so smooth I can't take it! Matt: Aw man, I'm slipping all over the place. Pat: I'm just sliding out of this chair! Matt: Aw yeah-music stop-wah. Pat: Now that's depressing.
Near the end where Matt and Pat both find themselves stuck in an infinite loop of portals:
Matt: This is like an abstract painting of our stupidity.
Pat: Mostly yours, though...mostly your stupidity.
"Nigel" as Matt was calling him calling Matt "brain damaged" to which Pat had a response:
Pat: That's amazing, the game knows you have fucking brain damage.
Yet another one of Pat's insults towards Matt:
Pat: You're like the Ralph Wiggum of real life. Turn around for two seconds and I catch you eating glue and crayons.
Matt: Okay, this is getting a little too personal.
Matt calling Wheatley "Nigel," full stop. Particularly funny here:
GLaDOS crushes Wheatley Matt: You said nothing bad would happen!!
Pat: To you!
Matt genuinely does not understand the concept of portals.
Matt: Wait, are there three of them or four?
Pat: (disbelievingly) There's two.
Matt: What? No, look! One, two, three!
Pat: You're looking through the portal at the other portal.
Matt: Wait, hold on...
Pat: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Matt: I don't get it.
Pat: That's a Material Emancipation Grid.
Matt: Wait, what? I don't listen to rap, dude.
Matt makes progress on a puzzle:
Pat: Holy shit, good job. I think I have some dog treats here I can give you.
During co-op, Matt keeps stepping on and off a door-opening button for the lulz.
Pat: I swear to God, if I fucking walk over there and that shit closes on me, I'm gonna go outside, find a homeless man, and pay him money to come here and take a dump in your sink.
Pat: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Matt's co-op song:
Matt: Workin' together...
Pat: Don't sing a song.
Matt: Solvin' the problem...
Pat: Don't sing a song! No one likes music!
Matt: It's gonna be fun when we solve science!
Pat: I'm gonna kill you.
When Matt is having... trouble directing his lasers.
Pat: Just shoot the laser at the thing. It's like child's play with portals. And lasers. Deadly lasers.
Pat: How do you find piece of shit games that no one even knows exist and then "OH MAN, LET'S PLAY! IT'S JUST SO GREAT!"?!
Matt being unable to keep from laughing after seeing AI!Bear Grylls jumping and then doing an off key rendition of the Item Get song from Metroid after seeing the Screw Attack-esque jump between ledges.
On that note, taking the idea and running with it later.
Stuck halfway up Mt. Everest and running low on oxygen and viable choices, Bear Grylls piloted an F-16 fighter jet to reach the summit in record time. Bear Grylls once nursed several injured mountain lions back to health, until they were strong enough for him to kill and devour. In 1995, Bear Grylls fell into a deep desert chasm, whereupon he encountered Cthulhu, the old one. At the mere sight of him, Cthulhu immediately started to run.
Season 3 Episodes
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
After ten minutes of buildup, Matt finally meets his first monster. It's worth the wait.
The ending, where Matt makes Jensen tell Cassandra Reed that her daughter died horribly and painfully followed by a punch to the face.
Pat: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? [cue credits]
Street Fighter III: Third Strike Online Edition
Matt and Pat stopping during gameplay as Pat tries to explain that Makoto is not a man. Matt, playing Hugo, proceeds to use Gigas Breaker on Pat while he's explaining, KO'ing him. Pat's reaction is even funnier.
Pat: (Pat has been explaining why Makoto is a girl, Matt suddenly uses Gigas Breaker) What're you fucking doing?! You piece of shit! Fuck you!
Matt: I laid down on her! I just made her into a woman!
Pat: UGH. That is creepy.
Immediately afterwards, when Poison walks on-screen during Hugo's win animation.
Matt: Hey, look, that hot babe's next to me!
Pat: Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
After fighting several games against Ken players online:
Matt: MAX PAYNE, BITCH! 'Cause it was fuckin' painful to deliver him! He was monologuing as soon as he came out my vag! (as Max) The umbilical cord stretched around my neck like a noose. Pain was behind me in a gaping hole!
After blowing up a barrel and Max has no reaction at all:
Matt: (through laughter) Not a single fuck was given.
"Oh, Max! You so crazy!"
Matt committing suicide accidentally by trying to dive backwards off of a van while at extremely low health. The last line seals it:
Matt: (watching as Max lays dead on the ground and the camera pans around his corpse) Oh, Max Paaaaayne! Beat You can't dull the pain NOW! (cue end credits)
Rise of Nightmares
Pat mocking a female NPC's terrible French accent:
Matt and Pat wondering how the husky, Togo, managed to always end up at their destination ahead of them, even if they had to climb up a sheer cliff in order to reach the area. This includes one instance where the camera suddenly turns to a downward view of the bottom of the valley, where a little black speck (representing Togo, who was previously up on top of the cliff) is visible. They then cut back and circle Togo in red with the words FUCKING TOGO over it.
Pat: Togo's like made out of Spider-Man!
Matt and Pat's response to the doctor falling to her death.
Pat: Nope. "Uh yeah...this is where I used to...TITS! [beat] I mean ITALY! [beat] There are girls with tits there!"
When Ezio confronts Duccio:
Pat: *in an Italian accent* Who is this, your DAD?!
Matt: Oh my God! He seems to have Final Fantasy levels of straps and belts on him!
After Duccio runs away, Ezio proceeds to hit on Sophia the exact same way.
The entire "money throwing sequence". Matt and Pat make fun of how many people gather to collect the money Ezio throws on the ground, and get way too into it:
Pat: Could you imagine how pathetic it would be if you just dropped ten dollars in coins on the fucking street, and people just started to "Oh my God"?
Matt: People just stomping on their own children to get to that chedda.
Pat: Oh man, these ten dollars in quarters are going to make a fucking riot break out. Jesus fuck.
Matt: People are shit! People equal shit!
Pat: How do you get up in the morning?!
(Ezio climbs up on a well)
Matt: Look, I'll be even more, more, from the tops of the towers!
Pat: Come to your master! You'll make what I give you!
Matt: Pray for death!
(Ezio starts throwing dirt, people start walking away)
Matt: Ah, take this dirt!
Pat: That's what you are!
(Ezio throws money again and everyone comes back)
Matt: You come back for more!
Pat: You come back so easily!
Matt: You sack of wine!
Pat: You are like, more prostitutes than Cobra Commander!
Matt: Oh, cleave the meat off each other's bones for this blood money!
Pat: Take this money that I am pissing down upon you with my Ancient God Dick!
"You can't just be draggin' around dead bodies in front of the po-lice! I mean, it's funny at first... (Beat, the screen says "MafiaOfBananas is Online")...but then the Mafia of Bananas shows up! And you're all like, 'I don't even have any fuckin' bananas! I don't owe you protection!'"
Matt loses a match by accidentally falling into the river as he fights. Right afterwards, Pat exclaims: "I will follow you, my friend!" and jumps in after him.
Both of them cracking up at the bizarre animation that happens after Algol wins the fight, which includes a giant stone throne appearing out of nowhere for him to sit in. Extra points because they slow it down for us to see properly.
Any time Matt talks about a completely absurd plot... that actually happened in real Spider-Man comic books. Two of which are Peter getting Mary Jane sick from years of injecting radioactive semen into her and another where he turns into a giant spider and gives birth to himself.
The montage of Shepard running in circles interspersed with footage of Earth being utterly wrecked.
Pat: So you talk to the Admiral, right? And he's like, "Oh, it's been a hard couple of weeks, Shepard, but you're doing a good job out there!" and [Shepard's] like, "I've been dickin' around for a couple of WEEKS?!"
Prison Break: The Conspiracy
The beginning where Matt and Pat sit in annoyed silence staring at the start up screen for the game.
Pat: No, I don't. I never fuckin' watched Prison Break. Did you even watch Prison Break?
Pat: Why did you buy Prison Break?
Matt: Because I've got mental problems.
Pat mocking the awful character mechanics.
Scofield: I'm not here to make friends.
Pat: Or lip synch well.
Their laughter at the fact that punching a black guard makes you fail instantly, with no fail screen and then...
Pat: (repeatedly trying to punch a white guard only for the punches to magically keep missing) The white guy's invincible. This game is racist as shit!
Their reaction to every single cell having a "No Smoking" sign above it:
Pat: Why would you...why couldn't you just tell them "No Smoking"? They're in fucking PRISON! Where are they going to GO? It's like "Ok, I know you had to smuggle like a whole CARTON of cigarettes up your ass...but no, you can't smoke them."
Matt: [laughing] What's the point of smuggling in smokes when EVERY FUCKING CELL has a "No Smoking" sign?
Matt makes the PC randomly punch an inmate casually talking to another leading to a fight which he wins...and the inmate simply gets up, goes back to where he was an continues the conversation like nothing happened. Matt promptly makes the PC punch him again.
Both guys cracking up at getting caught despite the guard not turning his head to look at the escaped prisoner.
Their reaction to accidentally stumbling into the prison showers. Twice.
At the odd animation of a guard in front of a coffee machine:
Pat: Is that guy takin' a piss?!
Matt: Nah, he's getting coffee. WITH PISS IN IT!
Their hysterical laughter after the character tries to reach down and get a file and promptly falls out of the vent, failing the mission.
Matt: I LOVE PRISON! IT'S SO WACKY!
Pat: WHY WOULD YOU WANNA BREAK OUT?! (cue end credits)
As with their Spider-Man video, they occassionally intersperse it with some facts about the Punisher comics, such as the period when he died and was drafted by Heaven into fighting demons (in their words "basically he became a shitty Ghostbuster") and "Franken-Castle". The "In the Marvel Mangaverse, the Punisher was a female Geisha who used a whip and tickled crime bosses to death. No, I'm serious" fact is brought up twice.
The duo's thoughts on the "good cop, bad cop" routine between the Punisher and an angry rhinoceros.
The end, where the Punisher is faced with two hostages being held at gunpoint and told "You can't save both!". Matt makes the Punisher chuck a grenade at the feet of the four and the explosion kills the gunmen...and the hostages remain unharmed.
Matt and Pat repeatedly crack up throughout the episode at the sheer absurdity of the premise.
The sheer absurdity of the premise alone and the hilariously mangled American culture is so hilarious that Matt and Pat don't even say anything at some points; sometimes they just let it pass without saying anything.
The segments where the duo makes Max Payne roll around on the floor while they play unfitting music.
"I HATE WINDOWS SO MUCH!"
Matt unloads half a clip of ammo into a civilian before realizing he's not one of the bad guys.
Pat: That's just a dude.
Matt: What? He had a mask on.
Pat: No, he didn't.
Matt: See, I'm getting shot!
Pat: From some guy upstairs.
Matt: (pauses, stares at the dead body) Oh, no, not again!
Matt dive-rolling against random civilians hiding from gunfire.
Matt: Hey, guys! C'mon!
Pat: (in a Spanish accent as a civvie) Is this the new dance you Americans created?
Matt slow-mo diving off of a skyscraper. Pat busts out laughing and Matt sheepishly says, "Whoops" at the failscreen. The best part is that he does this again about five minutes later, screaming, "FUCK YOU, RIO DE JANEIRO!" while Pat points out that he's in Sao Paulo.
Their lyrics for the theme song that plays on the title screen, where Matt, Pat, and Woolie excitedly chant "GAME OF FUCKIN' THRONES!" repeatedly in a reference to this video.
Matt recalls a part in Final Fantasy XII where villagers lament about cactoids ruining their home... and the camera cuts to the monsters, only six in number and just dancing in place.
Messing with the camera to get a look inside a body.
"Go back a little bit... there's his eyeballs!"
Pat, Mat, and Woolie constantly make fun of how bad the dog looks. It culminates with them freezing the video at a particular moment, just zooming in on the dog while they go all out on it.
Pat: It looks like a fucking PS1 monster!
The trio complains about how there are almost no recognizable characters from the show or the books in the game, and muse about how the game is probably only ever going to show the worst character from the series, which they all agree is Cersei. Guess what happens later.
When they finally finish fine-tuning their character's strengths and weaknesses, he ends up being a bad leader who can't stand the sight of blood, but is gifted, an acrobat, and knows the art of medicine, leading Pat to come up with this scenario:
Pat: So what this is saying that as you're fighting dudes, and some guy gets all bloodied up, and you decide to fuck off and not tell your dudes what to do, and just start doing back-flips while rubbing salve all over your face.
Matt referencing Dangeresque while they play "Out of This World."
"I'm gonna have to JUMP!"
The bit with the Cavemen where Matt won't let Pat onto the platform. Pat finally gets up there and then Matt jumps up onto the rope above it, leaving Pat there in a complete stupor about how that worked.
Upon seeing the bloody Superman emblem for the Doomsday game: "...Superman has his period?"
Their delightful conversation discussing how much Scott Summers, aka Cyclops, sucks. Capped off by insisting that if any of the viewers' friends claim Cyclops doesn't suck, they should be punched in the dick.
Pat's reaction when he attempts to ride a horse off of a cliff, only for it to stop and not jump.
Pat:(spurring the horse onward) Go horse! Fuck it! (Jumps off the horse and into the lake)
Matt labeling important historical figures as "total chodes".
"I think an old black man beating the shit out of a kid with a cane is the best thing ever."
"That rabbit won't be reporting back to the Templars anytime soon!"
After the ship is fired on in a naval battle:
Pat: Whatever, he sucked anyways.
Matt: JOHNNY APPLESEED!!
Also while on the ship:
Pat: I was yawning because I was bored and then ocean scared me. I guess the game won.
Resident Evil 6
The opening, in which Matt smiles gleefully while running over Pat with a train.
Matt getting shot to death because he was too busy making Piers give Chris a thumbs up. ("WE HAVE TO ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER- FUCK!")
Pat: No Matt, no. I don't want to do a good job anymore.
Pat and his glee upon seeing the playground in Chris's campaign"
Pat: (as he runs towards the playground) I HAVE TO GET WHAT REALLY MATTERS.
Matt finding out he can clip over Pat when the latter rides playground equipment.
Pat: This is the state of Survival Horror right here.
Matt (Leaps over the ride and through Pat):Yeahhh!
Pat examining a manhole while Matt slides around on his ass in the background.
Pat, while trying to find Matt in a snowstorm, accidentally rams him with a snowmobile, knocking him down. Matt starts sliding down the mountain, screaming for help, Pat driving after him. Pat soon picks up too much speed, running Matt over and getting a game over.
Pat: GET ON MY SNOWMOBILE GURLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
Not to mention Matt genuinely seems horrified by all of this.
Pat: That does look like Dobby... I mean, wait, who's Dobby?
New Super Mario Bros. U
The entire video because of the sheer Video Game Cruelty Potential of the game. But especially when Pat stuns an enemy over Matt and Woolie so that they can only escape by killing themselves.
Yellow Toad is the only survivor, and is swimming to an escape pipe before a sea dragon eats him. Matt quips, "Man, that dragon really wants that succulent Toad ass." The player, a woman, starts to scream in rage right before the video cuts off. Funny on a meta level because we don't know who the toad players are and you don't really hear their voices throughout.
Tricky Treat, which consists entirely of a person floating around a glitchy map full of giant candies.
Pat: Oh my g- oh my god...words can't even...oh my god.
Any of their reactions to Who's Gonna Get The Girl?
Matt: (as one of the, rather odd-looking, girls) ERMAGHERD YOU LIKE MY NAME.
They play No Luca No for quite a while, which is hilarious considering that the entire game consists of them swatting a cat away from their breakfast.
Their reactions while playing Super Wagon Adventure and its multiple anachronisms and wackiness is pretty great.
Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2013
One of the cutscenes shows a character staring at some deer through a sniper scope while Matt says "These deer killed my entire family and slaughtered them." The camera then pans over to reveal the character's father, which causes him to add "Oh, wait-".
Pat saying "That deer will never walk again or play basketball with its homies" after Matt shoots one of them in the spine.
Their remarks about a conveniently-placed health pack in the woods.
Matt: It's good that all these animals left these health packs for me.
Pat: I'm glad that health packs literally grow on trees out in the wild.
"Even the trees have gained bloodlust."
Their reactions to the various glitches, which include animals hopping in midair and falling off cliffs unintentionally, are pretty hilarious.
Pretending that the animals are conspiring against them on two occasions- the first when they find a conviently-placed ammo pile, and the second when they're in a jeep, the trees collapse, and some predators leap out at them from the branches.
Matt saying "It's a herd of your mom!" after seeing a herd of elephants.
Pat: (as Wormtail) Ron, didn't you love it when I slept next to your dick every night when you were sad about Hermione?
Matt: And Ron's like, "YEA—NO! No, I didn't!"
Matt's complete disdain for Neville Longbottom, capped off by him intentionally letting him die multiple times.
The glitch in the final wand battle. It must be seen to be believed.
Their addressing of the concept behind the last Quidditch minigame where they defend their goal from the opposing team, saying that their own team must be pretty awful if they're letting a lot of opponents get by them.
The video's intro has cartoon Matt and Pat patrolling the streets in police uniforms, when Matt is grabbed from behind. When Pat looks behind him, he sees a more realistically-styled Agent 47 in the police uniform, but thinks nothing of it and continues patrolling.
Their reactions to the various game mechanics, like fake surrendering, lowering their head to get past guards, and the flame trails guards leave, are pretty amusing.
Their comments about the various disguises, like the gardener's method of shooting weeds to death or the chef disguise's reverse-grip-style of holding a kitchen knife, are pretty hilarious.
"It's Mardi Gras up in here!" Said while making Agent 47 move in a circle through a colorful bead curtain.
When they start calling Agent 47 "Dickman", and the subsequent comments, starting with "Dickman, I can't believe what a hit you are!"
The exchange when Agent 47 is holding a coin.
Matt: Here's a coin. Put it in an Incan temple. Get Nathan Drake to help.
Pat: Here's a coin. It's got Barack Obama's face on it.
Matt: I thought you were gonna say it's got Baraka's face on it.
Pat sarcastically remarking "He's framing the legendary Hitman, who's killed a billion people, for murder!" and "'Oh no, a murder! I've never seen that before!'" during a scene where Agent 47 wakes up with a dead maid nearby.
Matt's insistence that a character resembles Kevin Nash.
Matt: (As the group is leaving) C'mon Nash, let's get going.
Matt: We gotta save Scott Hall from killing himself.
Pat: (barely restrained laughter) f-f-fuck
Their attempt to start a bar fight in a level. They throw a bottle into a crowd... and get no reaction. Appropriately, they react with a sarcastic "yaaaaaay".
In the final segment, they find Lynch at a gun range. After trying to mess with him, everyone suddenly points their guns at Agent 47, leaving the two very bewildered.
Dragging the guy they killed at the tennis court around in tight circles, causing the body to twist in on itself.
Pat: (while looking at 47's glowing head) THE HITMAN HAS BECOME YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale
Pat pointing out that the one of versus character splashes they were looking at had a proper juxtaposition of character images that made it look like Drake was staring at Fat Princess' chest. They bring it up again at the end of the match, where Drake is looking in the other direction during the post-match results display, with them pretending that Drake was no longer interested in them.
When Woolie and Liam get in on the action, Matt and Pat ask them how the supers work. Liam gives an extremely simple explanation, and Woolie's explanation is instead filled with unhelpful and irrelevant Techno Babble before being cut off by a screen saying "NOBODY CARES".
The four are ready to start a match, and the character select screen shows them with different characters selected. When the match starts proper, though, it turns out that they all selected Raiden. This happens twice.
Complete with them gushing over how awesomeRaiden is, with Matt noting that if someone told him ten years earlier that Raiden would be cooler than Dante, he would've felt obligated to punch them.
Woolie: The guys want him and the girls want to be him!
The last match is a team stock battle, with Matt and Pat against Woolie and Liam. Things were looking grim for the latter team, with Woolie eliminated some time beforehand and Matt and Pat still in the game, but Liam comes from behind to win it for his team. The following exchange occurs-
They fuck around on Vergil's car while it's slo-mo crashing into a wall.
The repeated shots of them slowly defeating a boss by just shooting it while it sits there. After a few cuts to the fight, they finally kill it, and they are quite underwhelmed with the whole thing at the end.
Season 7 Episodes
Slender: The Arrival
The episode opens with Matt admitting that, after displaying no fear in the original Slender, he has since watched Marble Hornets, and is now terrified of Slender Man.
That being said, he still fares a lot better than Pat during the game. To the point of trolling Pat while he's terrified:
Matt: There's a door on your left! No there's not, I lied to you, you're fucked!
Matt: If you're just joining us, you're watching Best Friends! We've both just shat our pants!
The opening features Matt being knocked out by the player character after he scares her, resulting in a Slenderman who pops up in disappointment after the player character runs away. Pat then appears behind Slenderman, looking at Matt's body and slowly backing away in fear.
All of Pat's high pitched squealing.
Pat gets scared by a grand piano and shortly after a window scares Matt.
Tomb Raider (2013)
Matt makes Lara go inside a house as it begins to fall off a cliff. As it falls into the abyss, Lara stands calmly on top of it with no reaction as it plummets off-screen.
At one point, they start falling off a cliff, but Lara just ends up floating in midair doing the falling animation. They actually manage to make her climb back up the cliffside for a bit until she properly dies.
Injustice: Gods Among Us
The running gag with Woolie. It starts off with him signing on and his Gamertag being " yo whens mahvel" , and sending a request to play Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. Later, Matt gets a phone call and the caller is " WHENS MAHVEL" . Then, Matt looks out the apartment window and sees Woolie holding up a sign saying "WHEN'S MAHVEL?" . At the end of the video, after hilariously failing a mission with Superman, Matt hears a knock on the door and it turns out to be Woolie again.
Playing with the hanging meat in the Arkham Asylum stage.
The comments during the Harley Quinn vs. Sinestro fight. A sample-
Matt: (in a high-pitched voice) Oh, Mr. Sinestro! I won't have the meat loaf ready cooked for you until later tonight-
Pat: Harley Quinn isn't your grandma!
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
When the video starts proper, Woolie shows up at Matt's apartment with some ice cream sandwiches. Later on, Matt wonders where Woolie went, and Pat says that he told Woolie to fuck off, because Woolie ran out of ice cream.
The segment Pat growing increasingly frustrated with the tutorial is pretty amusing.
Pat attempts to mock read a loading screen tooltip, but constantly stumbles over the first two words, "sniper rifle", and eventually gives up.
They pretend that the person they're rescuing in "Save A Nerd" is James Rolfe.
Pat freaks out when he realizes the blue coiled thing he was checking out was a neon snake, and kills it with grenades.
"Punch the nuclear reactor"
Pat: Are you fucking serious? I am okay with this!
Matt gets mad that Pat shoots and teabags a dead scientist because Rex called the scientist an American hero.
When Spock randomly sprints away from Kirk, they follow only to find him standing next to the hot green alien babe, to which Matt cries, "Hey! That's MY green chick!"
All of their "swag" and "YOLO" references. Especially Kirk holding up a device and Matt insisting that he's going to take a selfie while making a duck face.
Matt's suggestion that they just push two Red Shirts off a cliff to spare them the misery of dying during a mission.
The episodes ends with Kirk and Spock on a teleporter. Matt and Pat wonder where it will take them. Just then, the title screen for Aliens: Colonial Marines kicks in and Matt and Pat scream in fear until the credits cut them off.
Aliens: Colonial Marines
Pat, Matt, and Woolie's bored reactions to the supposedly scary xenomorphs.
Pat: No, Luca. No.
The live action segments, which consist of Matt and Pat wandering around an industrial area with helmets and guns while Woolie gives them orders. Funnier since it's one of the few times we've seen Pat in person.
Even funnier when a marine opens a grate and jumps down a ventilation shaft. Matt and Pat jump through the marine, through the grate, and stand where the marine will jump down so he clips through them constantly.
A xenomorph slowly stalks them by opening a ventilation shaft and clawing at them from the ceiling. The Jump Scare is ruined when they notice the xenomorph is nice enough to close the shaft after it attacks. Even when the xenomorph kills them, it's still polite enough to close the grate shut.
The video starts off with Matt walking to a store to buy "The shitty Walking Dead game." The store clerk, a young asian woman, knows exactly which one it is and turns around to grab it. The camera slowly pans down as she grabs the game then quickly corrects itself. Matt asks her out on a date and she politely turns him down. Throughout the rest of the episode, Matt brags to Pat that he has a hot date with an asian chick on Friday.
While noting how easy it is to melee attack zombies and keep them away, they it's like a zombie version of "No, Luca, no."
They're utterly surprised that the knife swinging animation causes sparks and smoke even when it hits nothing but air.
Matt: This makes me think I'm stabbing a tiny man!
They hammer the Jess Collins model's butt and crotch with the hammer, and mock its seeming lack of care for what they're doing to it.
Mortal Kombat: Komplete
While playing Konquest:
Matt: There's a sexy party over there.
Pat: Three guys standing in a river.
*Upon further inspection*
Both of them: Oh it's just ducks.
Matt: Well it's still a sweet ass party- I wish I can join.
The round with Matt, Pat and Woolie playing as... themselves.
Woolie's intro, with his character wearing those goofy headphones that he never takes off as well as a 'WHENS MAHVEL' shirt.
Woolie: Mahvel is now, suckas!
Pat trying to attack from the ropes and getting interrupted by Woolie, leaving Pat unable to do anything other than slap impotently in the general direction of his opponents. He finally manages to jump off with a bodyslam... which he misses.
Pat once again climbs onto the ropes to attempt a bodyslam on Matt, who is outside the ring. He pulls it off with ease this time... but still misses.
Pat: Eat it! *thud*
Everyone bursts out laughing
Woolie inexplicably going on a 'Comeback' and turning invulnerable, with his character not even reacting in the slightest to Pat hitting him in the face with a chair.
After Woolie takes round two:
Woolie: Oh, what I got comin' backstage. I've got the hottest jacuzzi backstage and-
Matt: With no-one in it!
Pat: Liam's in there.
Post-match scores: Hot Tub Liam inspires Woolie to win again!
The final round, with Matt, Pat and Woolie playing as the Shockmaster, Reptile and Zubaz respectively.
An instance in this round where while Pat and Woolie are fighting over by the commentator's table, Matt is leaning the ladder up against the ropes to use it. He runs up the ladder, but with his character using a really awkward running animation to do so, jumps off at them...and completely misses. Words cannot do this scene justice.
Season 8 Episodes
Saints Row IV
When given the famous "Fuck Cancer" or "Let Them Eat Cake" option, the two of them spend (according to a joke cutaway) 2 hours overanalzying this intentional parody of moral choices in games.
Matt: Ok wait, we gotta think about this.
Pat: Cancer forever is way worse than hungriness.
Matt: It doesn't say 'no one goes hungry forever'.
Pat: No it doesn't. It means give everyone a sandwich right now.
Matt: Okay, but...you think about curing cancer, there's evil people that could have cancer.
Pat: Yeah but there's probably way more good people that have cancer. It's not like 50/50. Like what if feed the hungry, is you just nuke the hungry countries?
Matt: That's true too. We can't read the fine print!
Matt: Okay, if Woolie was here, he would...
Pat: He would feed the hungry.
Matt: Okay but, he's not fucking here.
Pat: I say fuck cancer.
Matt: I dunno I'm leaning towards fuck canc- but when you think about it, if you feed the hun-
Matt saying that Rockstar should have given the player a papercraft to work on while waiting for the Data Install.
Matt talking about the time he and Pat went to Switzerland.
And when the Data Install is finally done (Said Data Install taking about 18 minutes according to Pat), their reaction when they're told to insert the second disc.
Beyond Two Souls
The beginning, in which they mock how David Cage's games are formatted like movies by checking the local movie theater for Beyond Two Souls.
Matt's reaction to an NPC in-game named Matt. When they find out he's British, Matt starts calling him British Matt and they give him a Sega fanboy personality with the voice of James Small, a British guy they often make fun of for loving the Dreamcast.
Said revenge, with all three of them super-hyped, is also hilarious.
The Jojo comparison:
Pat: I'll be the little girl and you will be the big, scary ghostman.
Woolie: I'll be your STAND!
Pat: OH, MY GOD!
Matt: Stop trying to make this cool! STOP IT!
Assassin's Creed IV Black Flag
The Duo singing their theme song as a pirate shanty.
The guys start this season by playing the PlayStation 4 version of Assassin's Creed IV and they keep getting a kick out of the game's hilarious technical "issues":
They toss a body into the ocean and laugh at how the body just turns itself around without the character model really moving. "That's next gen for ya."note Though in all fairness Matt does point out that this specific game isn't 100% "next gen," since it was a cross generational release
They climb up a building and literally get right behind an enemy soldier, and the soldier does not react at all when Edward starts clipping through him and tossing money at his ass.
Edward climbs to the top of the mast of a sinking ship and barely reacts at all to the mast plummeting towards the ocean.
The return of James Small jokes, where every British person is portrayed as a Sega fanboy obsessed with the Sega Dreamcast and Master System.
Matt suggests throwing money at a dog and seeing if it reacts to it like how humans characters do, and when Pat does toss the money the dog suddenly starts rolling over and acting all happy, prompting the guys to start laughing hysterically.
The accents going overboard:
Pat: (Bad Pirate/English accent) So what did you name your ship?
Matt: (Ditto) Cuntdestroyer.
Pat: ...that's a pretty good name.
Matt: We're on a quest to destroy a certain thing.
Pat: (Whiny nerd accent)MOM! THEY TOOK MY PIRATE BACKPACK!
The numerous instances of standing still and repeatedly punching the opponent in the groin. Even more so during the multiplayer segment, with both Matt and Pat doing it to each other... with neither character model reacting at all.
Pat accidentally selecting the same character as Matt due to the Kinect being so finicky.
The two going through the character's profiles give a bevy of glorious lines.
Matt:(describing one of the character's profiles) So because of the 2010 earthquake, she can now communicate with voodoo spirits.
At the beginning of the episode, we have a live-action shot of Matt and Pat, steeling themselves for the game and the eventual feels. They have done so by draping a blanket over their laps, gathering a couple boxes worth of tissues, and a tub of ice-cream. As they start the game, Pat's hand inches towards the ice-cream... Only for Matt to take it away from him with a completely deadpan expression.
During the recap, we have several of these, including, but not limited to:
Matt: Remember when Ben got overpowered by cancer patients?!
During the bathroom check scene at the beginning, they immediately comment that the toilets are amazingly pristine in spite of the entire world going to hell.
Matt: I WANT THIS TOILET SO CLEAN I COULD EAT OFF IT! WHICH I INTEND TO!
Also from that scene, when Clem' is hiding in the stalls:
The episode's general theme is laden in Sequelitis. Matt & Pat call it "We need another Batman Game" and show a marquee of So Okay, It's Average bylines as they zoom in on the logo.
Matt tries to read the infamous "Blind Idiot" Translation of a bootleg Batman Begins DVD case, only to break out into laughter. Especially when he learns Bruce Wayne was inspired to fight justice as Spiderman.
And his rogues gallery includes Dr. Jackstraw, the abnormal drug dealer.
And the Stealth Pun with the ice creams. Pat's is colored like Celestia, and Matt's is colored like Luna.
Funtime Adventures! Episode 2: Draw or Die
The references to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic that appear as the logo of the can Pat drinks from (It's the Cutie Mark of Rainbow Dash) and later Matt with an explorer outfit and the Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone book under his arm.
Matt explaning to Pat that the cover of Ninja Gaiden depicts Ryu as a giant ninja towering above the buildings he destroyed and looking to kill him. Pat starts to look scared... Until he laughs it off as "It's so dumb!".
Matt calls the main character "Ryu Toyota Hyundai Toshiba-Kun".
The ending of Double Dragon 2 goes like this:
Billy: Oh shit, [Mirian]'s dead. What are we going to do?
Jimmy: Don't worry bro! Let's use the magic of friendship to bring her back!
Billy: "......" What the fuck are you talking abo...
(Kirby appears and uses a magic wand to launch a star, succesfully resurrecting her)
Mirian: Billy, I'm alive!
Funtime Adventures! Episode 3: First Person Stupidity
Funtime Adventures! Episode 5: The Feel of Action Games
At the start of the episode, Pat is trying to break through a door since there aren't any enemies to kill or apparent puzzles to solve. Matt then wanders around, bored, and finds Ebony and Ivory sitting in an obvious area off to the side. This ends up triggering the enemies and they immediately surround Pat, forcing him to fight them off while Matt screws around making pew-pew noises.
Super Best Friends Brawl
Super Best Friends Brawl—WWF No Mercy
Matt, Pat, and Woolie (Matt's co-host on Fighterpedia) play an N64 WWF game... with only created characters. Woolie plays as Zubaz (a rejected Street Fighter character and running gag for Fighterpedia), Matt plays as The Shockmaster (a Call Back to their WWE All Stars video), and Pat plays as Reptile... or at least as close a fascimile as he could make.
Super Best Friends Brawl—Super Smash Bros
Woolie versus Matt on clothing:
Woolie: (as Kirby) Why is the gorilla even wearing a tie?
Matt: WHY ARE YOU WEARING NOTHING?!
"Show me the Sex Kick."
"Oh 'cause it's so sex.
Their repeated allegations that Smash Bros isn't really a fighting game, which eventually morphs into the idea that Smash Bros isn't a video game, period.
During a match, Woolie gets trapped while riding the minecart. He proceeds to not tell anyone and deny ever getting stuck after Pat notices that Woolie is stuck.
During one of the matches, in apropos of nothing, Matt decides to parrot out a line from Ke$ha's "We Are Who We Are"— specifically "Don't mess with us; got Jesus on my neck-a-lace". Pat proceeds to laugh so hard that his Bomberman dies almost instantly.
Super Best Friends Brawl—Mario Party 9
After spending pretty much the entire game in last place, Woolie jumps to first after taking half of Matt and Pat's mini-stars in a Bowser challenge. Between that and several bonuses, he ends up crowned the Superstar. Matt and Pat take it very well.
Pat: I was robbed of this victory! I would like to appeal this to the Mario Party committee! I have allegations of doping and jury-rigging!
Super Best Friends Brawl—Anarchy Reigns
In an epic display of sore loserdom, after Pat has won the match, the last couple seconds of the video are a picture of him in a bicycle helmet with the heading "Even the biggest retards can be winners!"
The ending of the last fight is pretty funny too. Matt and Woolie have teamed up to prevent Pat from making a clean sweep of all 4 rounds. The CPU ends up winning the round, but the rules of scoring say that the player in second will take the point for the round, currently Matt, who is celebrating and gloating at this. After each fight, the game gives out bonus points based on various stats during the round, most of which keep going to Pat, leading to this...
Matt: "Anyway, we finally stopped him."
Pat: (As he overtakes Matt) "Hey Matt."
Pat: "Check the score."
Woolie: "Wait, what the fuck?"
The character select screen introduced in this video was rather hilarious; all of the fighters (Matt, Woolie, and Pat excepted) being callbacks to prior videos, including a nightmare Basking Shark, Zubaz, and the Mummy Lobster.
The post-match screen usually displays the standings of each person, showing how many games they won. However, after Pat wins the third match in a row (out of the four needed to claim victory), it simply says "FUCK".
Woolie strikes a few poses as Bayonetta, charges up a rushing attack, and then proceeds to completely miss Pat and go flying off the stage.
Pat: Yeah, like James Small! [laughter] James Small isn't a person!
[cut to "actual footage of James Small being led off-stage"]
The group then switches over to Double Dash and quickly become befuddled over the game's nigh-incomprehensible mechanics. It gets to the point that Woolie finds himself in first place, and has no goddamned idea how he did it.
The match suffers not one but two delays from technical difficulties.
MATCH DELAYED DUE TO DREAMCAST BEING COLD SHIT
MATCH DELAYED DUE TO WOOLIE BEING A TIME VAMPIRE
Pat continually complains about never playing Power Stone before, Woolie and Matt take this to full advantage.
After Matt wins the Brawl he thanks thanks the viewers for coming out and watching them while the other 2 contenders are booing. He then proceeds to show that he has the most wins out of all the brawls in the aftermath.
Matt and Woolie repeatedly saying "Oh no!" like the announcer does when someone loses a Power Stone.
Pat's Salty Johns! They'll make you say "I don't know how to play the video game!"
Matt reveals that he actually knew obscure white rapper "Bless" as a teenager as both went to the same high school and took a drama class together. He reveals Bless was actually a very lazy student who never came to class and Matt had to play all of his parts for him in Drama, giving Matt a great score in the class, while Bless acted like an entitled douche expecting a grade at all at the end of the semester. As a result of Bless now fading to obscurity and Matt going on to become something of a YouTube celebrity (minus the huge ego) Matt is the one who got the last laugh.
On a somewhat meta sense, after the episode was posted a bunch of fans started to edit Bless' Wikipedia article by saying Bless had a new single coming soon called "Matt and the Salty Boyz."
(Pat just preforms a sick move on Woolie, who both happen to be wearing all black) Matt: He's gonna tap! Ice-T's gonna tap! Pat: No, I did the move Matt. Matt: Oh. Oh, sorry. I couldn't tell because he was just a mass of blackness. (beat) Matt: I mean theirclothes!Their clothes!
Pat: (Pat has just made Bear zipline down a slope and he's noticed the parachute that he landed in, which is colored blue white and red) ...now look there's the French flag over there! I'm in France!
Matt: (immediately) America.
Pat: No, that's the...it's the...Fr-
Pat failing utterly at making traps, particularly his first attempt:
Matt: (Pat grabs onto a branch and it randomly breaks) No, this is completely useless and you just broke it!
Pat: (cracks up for a bit) What the hell?!
Matt finding the way to make Bear drink his own piss.
(Bear Grylls is making some sort of motion, his back to the camera)
Matt: I thought he was peeing in something.
Pat: Me too.
Matt: (Bear finishes doing whatever he was doing) What was that? (Matt opens his rucksack then sees that his snakeskin canteen is now full. The info says "This canteen is filled with my urine". After a bit, Pat begins laughing hysterically) ...I found it.
They practically spend all of Calling wandering around a school, occasionally freaking out at shadows but not really running into anything intentionally scary - until it turns out they just forgot to look through a window, at which point they receive a Jump Scare and the video ends.
In Condemned, shortly after receiving instructions on the taser, Pat relates a story about how he was hit with a stungun in school by a kid who didn't like him. He ends it with "It hurt alot. Hey kids, don't get hit with stunguns or tasers. They hurt like crazy! I had a rough time!".
Plus, their excitement at finding some and using some of the more powerful weapons.
In Amy, Matt is mocking a character wtih a stereotypical New York accent, when he mentions the restaurant chain Olive Garden. Pat immediately flips out, saying that he knew Matt was going to bring up Olive Garden.
They often make fun of the shadows in Man Hunt due to how obvious they are as well as how easily they fool their enemies.
Pat spends the entire time playing Resident Evil Remake gushing about how awesome it is.
Pat: Look at this FMV! Look at the blades of grass!
Also, there's this line about Jill and the game's impressive graphics:
Pat: No, it's not that she's hot, it's that she so well 3D-modeled, that she's hot.
Again about the graphics:
Matt: I remember pausing to check if there jiggle physics on...Chris!
Pat: There are no jiggle physics in this game.
"IT'S ALL GONE TITS UP NOW!"
Matt's incredibly deadpan story of how he got his copy of R Emake.
In F.E.A.R. 2, after waking up in a hospital after the ghost nuke went off, running around to find the place devoid of life and looking like a war zone, and seeing a woman shot to death, they come across a friendly face.
Woman: Sergeant Becket! Thank God you're okay! I'm sure you have a lot of questions.
Their inability to understand the Japanese during Night Of The Sacrifice.
At the end of video, they discuss how creepy abandoned tunnels are and who often dies first horror films. Then right after they turn around to see a mannequin right behind them, prompting them to lose their shit.
Dreadout: The entire sequence with the giant ghost monster, which Pat can't stand being around long enough to solve the puzzle.
At one point Pat mistakes a scare as a bug, only to be quickly proven wrong.
Pat actually conceding that Matt's inability to navigate a game is not to blame - for once - whilst they play Dino Crisis 3.
The arrival of a ridiculously fast Jason cutting through the lake water as Matt attempts to row during their Friday the 13th installment; Climaxes brilliantly when Matt loses his last character and Jason decides to add insult to injury by streaking across the water three times.
Their confusion with the portuguese language when playing Insanidade and Pesadelo. It starts with them mistaking it for spanish and it ends with them becoming found of the word "jogo". Specially funny if you are a native portuguese speaker and had to face english games before learning the language.
However, they are able to guess what some of it means, such as this priceless moment from Pesadelo:
(Upon opening a door, the monster dashes by, a message appears, and a 7 minute timer begins.)
"Pat": Now there's a timer?
"Pat": I understand that!
Each game seems to vary in how scary they are but each video ups the ante how strange they can get. It gets to a point where either Matt or Pat will exclaim that the game they are playing is the strangest one they've played so far.
When all four of them decide to play Luigi's Mansion, Liam pulls off a shy guy's mask, this causes an... odd conversation to result.
Matt: "You can't do that, that's like ripping off a goomba's face and it's Princess Peach on the inside."
Pat: "No, it's like ripping off a Goomba's face and it's Princess Peach's butt."
(A few seconds of Liam and Woolie talking about something else pass)
Pat: *Giggling uncontrollably* "I can't stop thinking about pulling a goomba's face off and Princess Peach's *Dissolves into laughter*"
The guys take turns at "Hulk Hogan's Main Event," and when Woolie switches with Pat the Kinect freaks out because Pat is nearly a foot shorter than him. The result is the game repeatedly doing the same move while Pat stands completely motionless.
The gang recording their own taunts for the wrestler
Game Question:Where does your drive for wrestling come from?
The high-octane brawling action in Wrestlemania XIX, such as Matt gently rolling/kneading a security guard along the floor for a while, Goldust's unbeatable fighting style of sliding up and down on a pole doing fussy little kicks (until another security guard slides down the pole from above and knocks him and his target over), and in the final three-way match, Pat and Woolie deciding to just lie on the floor and not get up from sheer boredom.
While playing an Ultimate X FFA match in "TNA impact", they have no idea how to actual grab onto the ropes above the ring, which culminates in all 3 of them standing on a turnbuckle twisting left and right.
Later in the same match, Woolie is trying to grab the x(and failing the QTE repeatedly), while Pat tries to grab him from below, and Matt tries to shimmy over to Woolie and kick him down. There's only a split second chance between Woolie failing and trying again that Pat can grab him, which leads to him jumping up and down repeatedly while waving his arms. Meanwhile Matt keeps forgetting to target Woolie, and every time he reaches him, ends up letting go of the rope to elbow drop (an increasing angry) Pat instead.
Pat: KICK HIM!
Matt: I'm not sure who my focus in on *jumps onto Pat*
Pat: YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
The complete and total heel turn at the end of WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role! Even better since there was no reason for this at all except than Woolie thought it might be funny.
The discussion which somehow ranges from how awesome Shane McMahon was during the time when he was wrestling the likes of the Big Show despite not being a professional athlete at all, to the helpless laughter of all three of them as their mockery of Vince McMahon continues to the point where they talk about him unveiling his penis as part of his continued ploys against Stone-Cold, in Wrestlemania X8.
This, and the utter confusion over the naming schemes of the Wrestlemania shows since 2000.
The entirety of their WCW Mayhem video, a game so unthinkably appalling they had to switch games just to preserve their sanity.
Pat telling Matt to just look at the doctor while Matt's eyesight in the game wanders to a another area.
Pat: STOP STARING AT HIS DONG!
Matt's nonchalance toward Cheryl's disappearance.
Pat: You'd be upset if you lost your kids!
Matt: I guess...like, if I find her, is it the end of the g- like...
Pat: What, you wan- you want POINTS for finding your children?
Matt: ...Yeah, like *gems*, or something...
Pat: What is-what the fuck is wrong with you?
Matt taking way too long with the coloring, causing Pat to go mad with anger.
Made even funnier when Pat comes back later to apologize to Matt for getting angry...only to find he's still doing it, driving him into another sputtering rage.
They spend a moment making fun of Canada, which is hilarious considering that they're actually Canadian.
Matt and Woolie's Old-School Playthroughs
During the last episode of Matt and Woolie's Old-School Playthrough of Double Dragon: Neon, just how pumped Woolie was throughout the entire episode. Especially when Billy and Jimmy go through Marian's love portal to chase down Skullmaggeddon and emerge as robots, the fight with Giga Skullmaggeddon and his cinematic One-Hit KO move, Marian's punch to Skullmaggeddon's balls at the bottom of his fall to his death while singing the ending credits, and the last fight between Robot Billy and Robot Jimmy for Marian's affections.
Matt: That was the epitome of the word "shenanigans."
Matt's Sexy Bond-A-Thon
The Plague Of Gripes intro sequence, parodying the standard Bond opening POV shot, with Matt walking into view, dropping his gun, and hopping out of view after it discharges into his foot.
The start of the Scrublords of a very bad licensed Transformers Beast Wars game, which initially impresses that Matt and Woolie are going to play Persona 4 Arena... until Matt sees Woolie combo juggle the AI to death without letting it hit the ground when he was doing his "button check", at which point he kind of sputters before it jumpcuts to the main video.
The intermission announcements in the first half of the Scrublord series, which range from announcements based on recent comments by Matt or Woolie such as the Ronin Warriors IOS fighting game kickstarter or the "Kickstarter to fund the Ronin Warriors Kickstarter", to a live feed of the action on the Scublords tournament floor...which is just a deserted parking lot
The live-action segments of the XMen Next Dimension episode, where Woolie leads a increasingly terrified Matt into a Silent Hill-esque dimly lit building, apparently in search of the brackets for the Scrublord tournaments. It culminates in both of them being attacked by a possessed shopping trolley after Woolie picks up an envelope. Back at Woolie's apartment, Matt decides he's no longer interested in the tournament. Woolie reveals the entire trip was just to fetch his mail.
Most of the live action segments really, with Woolie trying to get Matt hyped for a tournament that needs a blood sample to enter and makes announcements via a blood-smeared message on your front door.
The Divekick Scrublords Season Finale has a great ending. After an extremely close match, Pat is the victor. Cue a shot of said victor leaping into the air shouting "YEAH!" Also, we see the ultimate destination of the three losers of the tournament... THE SHAMECAR.
Ride to Hell: Retribution
The end of the video, where Matt does nothing but powerslide until the bike explodes and the boys break down in hysterics.
This little kid like viciously murders three grown men and his dads like "what the fuck are you doing?" and he's like "I took care of some filthy animals that looked like humans." He kills like a bunch of, rapers, with a knife and he's really hype about it. And his dad's like "whoa," and he's like "yeah, I know right?," and the cops are like "what?" And then they live happily ever after. And then the girl became Kamen Rider
Super Best Friends Play: Shadow the Hedgehog
A stunning, absolutely hysterical case of irony strikes with the video's end; After forty-plus minutes of Matt's incessant wailing about how terrible the game is, and Woolie and Liam vainly attempting to justify how hype the game was when they were teenagers, the Gamecube they're using to play the game joins Matt's protests by giving up the ghost and letting out a high-pitched wail as it crashes, thus bringing to an end the Rising Superstar's claims that they could make it a full playthrough.
Made even more hilarious when they do a part two to finish the run, and Matt spends every second of it insulting the game and hoping it will crash whenever they die. Unfortunately for him, the Rising Superstar does indeed finish the playthrough, and he and Woolie force Matt to watch the credits, under the pretense of their being a hidden cutscene after them. Halfway through them, the game spares Matt the disappointment (and provide a perfect CMOF ending to the run.)
"The Game Disc could not be read. Please read the Nintendo Gamecube Instruction Booklet for more information."
Matt, Liam and Woolie are constantly tempted by video games (in particular, TheWonderful101) where Matt has to remind everyone to stay on topic. Naturally Liam draws a scene from the game (which Matt gets mad at him for) and Woolie starts playing the game while supposedly videotaping the duo.
Despite this Matt ALSO makes a scenefrom a videogame, prompting a big "What the hell?" reaction from Liam. He then attempts to put his "artwork" on Liams fridge, only for Liam to slap it off in disgust.
At the beginning, Matt and Woolie show confusion about how different the Biker Mice in the game look from their 1990s counterparts. Matt believes that there was once a revival, whereas Woolie doesn't think so. When Woolie finds out about the 2006 reboot, their reactions are priceless.
Matt and Woolie spend several minutes trying to figure out how to start a new game. Woolie's solution remove the memory card to skip the save prompt seems more like he wants to abort the playthrough. Matt finally decides it's Crazy Enough to Work, and it does. Woolie helped because he wants to endure his Self-Inflicted Hell and he gave his word to watch this playthrough.
Comparing the "whoo!" Sonic says every time he dashes to that of Ric Flair.
Matt complains loudly about the Werehog scenes, because they swap out the traditional Sonic gameplay for poorly designed beat-em-up. After a flying segment, he bets that the next scene will have the moon rise and Sonic become a Werehog before they can have a running level. It doesn't, instead they wander around a town for ten minutes talking to NPCs. After finally beating it, they move to the next level - and Sonic is now the Werehog again. Matt just bellowsFUCK! loud enough to make people complain that they jumped in the comments.31:48.
Woolie's Never Live It Down moment has become so widely known that if one were to type just his name into the search bar on youtube, the second suggestion (After his match with Daigo) is
Youtube:woolie chooses mvc3 over sex. with two women. at the same time
Matt and Pat bring it up again when they make a similar video for the Metal Gear Rising launch, except that Matt chose to get it on with the women, and still make it in time for the launch. At the end, Matt sees Woolie coming over to him, and he promptly disappears.
Matt slowly and shamefully revealing just how much Predator merchandise he has purchased over the years.
Adventure Time with Matt the Human: An entire video dedicated to Matt gloating about how he got the 3DS game before Pat.
Matt:Did you know that Adventure Time is a show that Pat knows more about than me? That he's seen more episodes than me? And that he's the one who introduced me to it? But I'm the one who gets the game first. I guess that's because all gods hate him and love me instead.
Pat stealing Matt's limited edition of Metal Gear Rising in the unboxing video.
A fan made a Skyrim mod that adds Matt, Pat, and Woolie as a set of recruitable companions. The three even recorded special dialogue for the mod. Trailer here.
Zubaz, the long running joke character removed from Street Fighter is not only making a comeback as a fighter in Divekick, he's returning as a goddamn giant mecha in Kaiju Combat.
The Two Best Friends Facebook page announced E3 videos with one of the features being Game Grumps. Fans immediately speculated how a crossover between the two would go, and what happened in the epic confrontation? Matt passes by Egoraptor in the hallway and they just offhandedly say "Hey" to each other, not even recognizing who each of them are.
Matt's Bomb-Ass Trip to the Zoo video where he indulges in a newfound love for Red Pandas - as hinted at in the promos for the Super Best Friends Podcast - but not only that; As he's visiting with a lady-friend, he actually pulls off an incredibly cheesy line about 'filming beautiful creatures' when she catches him filming her and not the animals.
In general, whenever the video cuts off and Green Greens starts playing. Apparently Matt and Pat chose to stick with the theme because of how jarring it can be, depending on which game they play.
SBFP 001: This Is Gonna Be TerribleSBFP 002: The Feel of a Podcast
When Matt sent out a copy of DMC: Devil May Cry to the winner of a giveaway, the winner never responded, and the Best Friends come to the conclusion that the winner mistook the game for the HD remastering of the original series.
Matt: The guy never told me whether he got it or not...I sent it out and everything...
Pat: You killed him!
Matt: I'm sorry dead kid...
SBFP 003: My Snake Have Started to Move
Woolie suggests that Street Fighter 5 will come out at roughly the same time as manned missions to Mars. This somehow transitions into a joke about Woolie as a Mars Rover that constantly lies about finding life.
Pat's segment on why you should and should not get a gaming PC, with his voice increasing in pitch throughout the entire bit.
Pat: Okay, so Saints Row 4 came out last week. I get all hyped for Saints Row 4. I go to play it, I'm playing it, everything's great, I'm having lots of fun, except there's like a really weird slight line in between one of the hair models, on their scalps.
Matt: So you threw out your PC.
Pat: So I'm like, man, my drivers must be bad, cause I'm using the catalyst 13.6 AMD drivers from my video card. So I go, oh, I'll get the newest beta drivers, but then I do that and then Youtube starts breaking, so how do I roll it back? I can't roll it back to the non-beta drivers, I can only roll it back to the earlier beta drivers which i'm worried about! So now I have the new beta drivers at 13.8, but i'm worried about video playback, and so i'm freaking out and I do a system restore, and then the fucking sony content manager assistant for the Vita breaks, and I lose some of the saves I put up on there, so I've been playing Divekick instead!
Liam: Buy a gaming PC everybody.
Towards the end of the Podcast, Liam's utter excitement and glee when a fan asks them if they've 'ever been sucked up in a shitty card game'.
Liam: OH BOY!
The groans of the other three as Liam starts to list off card games he's played are pure gold.
SBFP 004: It Can't Have All Been For Nothing
Near the end of the podcast, they point out Matt always automatically replaces the word "wrestling" with "rustling" since Rustlemania has begun.
SBFP 005: Pure Scumbag Tactics Are The Only Way To Win
Matt's story of how he got MGS4, despite not having a PS3.
Liam's reaction to the reveal of the Pokémon Origins anime.
"I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE!"
SBFP 006: Nothing Good Ever Comes In A Bucket
An email asks the Friends' opinions on the Tales series. This ends up creating a huge argument between Matt and Pat about Tales vs. Xenogears.
The next two Podcast release videos mock Xenogears. Matt offhandedly mentions Xenogears, causing Liam to ask "What's Xenogears?" For Episode 7, Woolie asks Pat what his favorite moment is, then dubs over Pat's response to announce the next episode is up.
Woolie jokes that David Cage's games would scare them if they were sitting around a campfire, telling scary stories.
"Running home, and you trip over a copy of Heavy Rain, and then you look up to the moon and it's BEYOND TWO SOULLLLLLLS!"
SBFP 008: The Feel Bad Show Of The Century
The sponsor of this particular episode used "Woolie" as a promotional code.
Drunk Pat. Sure, he was drunk because he was depressed over the Jojo fiasco, but it makes him super enthusiastic for the entire podcast, the Russian Ladies segment at the beginning being the best example.
SBFP 012: We Gotta Get Back to Space!
Pat gets very excited about the plethora of grappling characters in the new Street Fighter game.
Matt: What if the fifth character is a grappler?
Pat: *shrieking* I WILL PEE! WITH HAPPINESS!
SBFP 013: Never a Good Day with Swamp-ass
When a fan asks them which JoJo character they'd want to be, Pat has to stop and say that they can't all choose Dio.
Woolie: But I'm staring at my head on Voltron, and a bunch of rap rockers, and I'm like, "What could have — What? I don't —"
Pat: And they all have hepatitis!
Liam: Is that the ties that bind?
Pat: Yeah! It's hepatitis!
While discussing what would happen if Capcom went bankrupt and its properties were bought up by other companies:
Woolie: When SNK gets the Street Fighter license, I am just walking into the ocean. Like Odysseus's wife, just walking along the beach, and then I'm gone.
Matt: And as you go you're, like, shredding your clothes off, for some reason.
Woolie: Just tears of blood.
SBFP 022: What does the Doug button do?
The four summarizing the Final Fantasy X-2.5 novel leads to some hilarious reactions, particularly Pat explaining why the sequels to Final Fantasy X are terrible, with his pitch and tone consistently increasing as he goes.
SBFP 025: Smegmaman is the worst
The group are discussing the recent name change of Namco-Bandai to Bandai-Namco when the following happens:
Matt: I don't even say Bandai, I aways say Namco, cause they make the games.
Pat: I'm edgy, so I say Scamco. I also like to spell Microsoft with a dollar sign.
Matt: I know I do. Cha-Ching!
Brief bit of laughter and sighs from the group:
Matt: Ah, I can't wait to move into that GIANT, EXPENSIVE apartment that I can suddenly afford!
Pat: That apartment that prior to you arriving had no Xbone, but now you can put Xbone in it!
Liam: *Deadpan Tone* You can fit an Xbox One, the all in one entertainment system from Microsoft -
Pat: Okay, Okay, everybody stop, this joke has gone on too far.
Liam: Do I still get paid for it though?
For context, this happened in the same week that it was revealed Microsoft were paying Youtubers for Xbox One mentions and support in videos, an offer that wasn't even given to the Best Friends due to them insulting the Xbox One and Kinect repeatedly.
SBFC 030: No More Dutch Rudders
The group ponders what kind of Anachronism Stew Plague of Gripes has in his work area: Sitting in a rocking chair on a porch and wearing overalls, while using a laptop and drawing on a Cintiq tablet... then stopping to drink from a trough.
The last package they open. There's some build-up to it as Woolie removes the bubble wrap that's obscuring it, only to reveal a rather large, framed portrait of Steve Buscemi. They all agree that it's for Pat.
Once again, the last packages turn out to be the most fun, including Pat being sent not one, but two babies in response to an off-hand comment he made on the podcast, 8lbs of cereal marshmallows, and a Bayonetta figure that almost causes the gang to kill each other.
After several episodes of jokes about the inevitable package full of vipers, the friends receive a disc of Viper's album You Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack. Woolie bursts out laughing. And is later attacked by snakes no less than three times.
The slightly unnerving piece of mail the best friends receive; It's either utterly hilarious or slight nightmare fuel given the content, which is some sort of stapled together collection of bizarre odds and ends and increasingly off-putting writing including Silence of the Lambs quotes. Pat in particular states that they're not sure at all if it's hate mail or some sort of bizarro stalker package.
The Best Friends' reactions must be seen to be believed when they get a limited edition Gurren Lagann box set, valued at over $500. Their reactions are even more hilarious when they find a second box set in another package.
Resident Evil 2
(the guys are talking about System Shock)
Matt (imitating SHODAN): You think you can defeat me, hacker? well, you cannot, 'cuz my shit is running crazy styles all over this bitch.
During Part 4 of their playthrough, Pat is talking about a file in the game (the contents of which he apparently memorized), when he adds:
Pat: I dunno, I didn't work for Capcom back in '97.
Matt: You didn't? Wait, wait, whoa whoa, you didn't?
Pat: No, back when I was ten years old, I did not work for Capcom.
Matt: Jesus, tons of revelations coming out during this...
Partway through Part 9 of their playthrough (at the end of Claire's A scenario), their usual off-topic conversation gets lampshaded.
Matt: So this is the part in RE2 where you have nothing to do.
Pat: Yeah, absolutely. I've killed all the enemies in the game, and so that means it's time to talk about Lethal Weapon.
During Part 11:
Pat: If you use first aid spray, it knocks your ranking down.
Matt: Oh, we can't have that, can we?
Pat: No, I want to play with some HUNKs. (Beat) Shut up, just shut up. I don't wanna hear whatever you're about to say about that.
In Part 12, Matt explains the expression "SoupKitchen". Pat immediately wishes he could unlearn it.
Part 14, where we have reached discussions about how much Hideo Kojima can possibly stretch out the Metal Gear series; Whilst the two show genuine enthusiasm for a WW2-era game starring the Boss, Matt has them both rolyling with laughter following his proposal of one of the game's interactive scenes featuring Ocelot's birth.
Matt: Ocelot's going to shoot out of the Boss' vag and he's gonna be spinning the umbilical cord around his finger, over his back n' shit!!
Also Part 14, Matt suddenly leaves and Pat has to monologue.
"If you're wondering why I'm talking to myself, it's because Matt fucked off for no reason. He doesn't care about you. He thinks you're all stupid! But that's okay. Because I'm still here, I guess."
Also, the ongoing saga of Mister X; Upon the scene where he bursts through the wall of the RPD's briefing room, Matt bellows;
Matt: HEY I'M DOING A PRESS CONFERENCE HERE, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Silent Hill: Downpour
Pat's Tour-Guide Nixon voice.
"Kids love the Devil!"
The sequence with Pat encouraging Matt to shift a box around in Part 4 of the Let's Play. Because of Pat's tone and the length of the sequence - the sheer number of times that Pat tells him "No, forward a little. Back a little. Forward some more," - it really just makes it seem like Pat is fucking with Matt and Matt doesn't realise it. I don't think Pat meant it to be funny, but given than he's set Matt up with a lengthy setup before (as in one of the Assassin's Creed videos), it's one of those things I expected to have a payoff.
"Train guy was DRUNK!"
Matt repeatedly going up to flashing objects, and wondering what they are, and if he can pick them up and use, even though he's seen them a million times before, and Pat keeps telling him they are not good weapons.
(Matt sees a flashing pile of bricks that look exactly like bricks he has picked up before)
Matt: What's that?
Pat: That's bricks!
Matt: Oh, I thought it was like a pile of bricks. What's that?
Pat: (tired) That's a fire extinguisher.
Part 9 sees them in an unusual office with one of the game's numerous files;
How does Matt begin Part 10? By accidentally chucking his axe, one of the most valuable weapons in the game, into the giant gorge in the middle of the street. You just can't beat that.
Made even better that most of part ten is just Matt wandering around haplessly looking for a light bulb not even vital to the main plot, of all things.
Actually, what makes it even funnier is that right after Matt throws the axe, he goes to get another weapon and gets attacked by a monster—which genuinely scares Matt.
In Part 11, they go into a flashback in the movie theater. After only mild reactions/gasps to the game's previous Jump Scares, Matt freaks out when a basketball falls out of a basketball hoop. Pat immediately turns it into a joke.
Pat: That's the ghost of the Harlem Globetrotters.
Matt's general inability to navigate through the game. It's across a number of episodes, but the amount of times Pat has told him to go right or left and Matt's gone in entirely the opposite direction is getting too high to count.
In Part 13, Matt forgets how the combat controls work, and repeatedly throws his axe at enemies standing right in front of him. Funnier, this proves to be far more effective than just hitting them with it.
Matt utterly hates the entire "school play" puzzle. Pat adopts a hilariously sarcastic tone while guiding him through it.
In part fifteen, Matt is attacked by the boss, a giant man in a gas mask.
Pat: Aw c'mon HUNK, I didn't mean it when I said Tofu was better! The Fourth Survivor rocks!
"ENJOY YOUR CHAIR, SHITLORD!"
Matt points out yet another plothole in Part 17: "Why does the prison that has no electricity, have electricity?"
Matt and Pat's speculation on Murphy's wife in Part 17 after reading her letter is just hilarious.
Every time Pat reads a blacked out name in one of the notes or files. It always comes out as some weird noise akin to "derpy derp."
Pat pronounces Murph's name in a weird New York Accent for most of the game, ala "Moiph."
Matt's refusal to run away from an enemy as it caused him to hit a wire and get electrocuted. He simply turns around and kills the creature with the axe, screaming, "AMERICA!" on the killing blow.
Matt's growing exasperation at having to read every single note out loud.
Pat: Oh, look, a note!
At one point Pat sarcastically notes that when he played RE2 Matt was constantly bugging him to stop and read the various files in the game.
Any time they mock the utter lack of anything scary in the game. Especially if they deadpan about how they peed their pants at a cheap Jump Scare.
After hours and hours of monotonous, tedious, nonsensical gameplay, Matt and Pat end the game in Part 19 the only truly appropriate way possible—by simultaneously screaming "FUCK YOU!" at the "Thank you" screen at the end credits. Well said, gents. Well said.
Matt and Pat comment how the game would be actually scarier with dubstep.
"WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB, WUB."
While wandering around the abandoned diner in Part 2.
Pat:*reading a kid's guidebook* "Hey kids: Is Silent Hill a special place to you? If you were naming this area, what would you call it?" I'd call it the fucking Devil's Asshole!
Pat: SEE?! Like, everyone knows that Silent Hill is totally fucked.
Matt (imitating Sater): Oh, you didn't know about our crazy zombie people running around, did you?
Pat (also imitating Sater): Are you saying you don't know Pyramid Head?
Matt: Pyramid Head and me, we go way back. We used to drive around in our Jeep Chevys.
Pat: I used to date his sister, Triangle Girl!
Matt: Triangle Girl's crazy hot!
Pat: She gives the worst head!
Matt: She's so sharp and polygony!
Pat: It's like driving a protractor up your dick! It's the worst!
The game has a UV light that often shows large bloodstains on the walls. Pat mentions a video comment claiming a UV light shouldn't show bloodstains (it can), then concludes the walls were actually covered in semen.
The end of Part 9, in which the game crashes, and the last minute or so of the video is Matt and Pat riffing over a completely black screen.
And, of course, this sent the two back four parts of the review, because the game can only save when you quit.
Part 10, where Pat spends a majority of a timed level trying to figure out how to dodge from Matt, who figured it out while playing the game back to where they were only to forget it.
More of a meta Funny Moment than anything, but this game was so aggressively awful that the Let's Play was put on hold, because Pat refused to play it any more. The breaking point might have been the game not saving after a second boss battle with Devin "The Stiff" (see above)
Matt saying "I need a cookie" in this adorable childlike voice in part 5, and their subsequent dissection of Matt's work ethic and Woolie's fear of his parents.
Donkey Kong Country
In the Elevator Antics stage at world five, they have just arrived at the end of a difficult stage when Matt follows a set of elevators down a chasm freaking Woolie out; but it just happens that brings them to a bonus area. It is specially funny when you remember the ending of Matt's and Pat's video in the Wii's Donkey Kong.
Matt as Diddy finding an enemy that only DK is heavy enough to jump on, so he tags in Woolie, who promptly misses the jump and dies.
After beating the World 5 boss, Mat and Woolie get psyched to take on K. Rool... only to end up having to go through World 6 first, which Mat completely forgot about.
Super Best Friends Watch: Metroid Other M
A few minutes after comparing the soldiers in Other M unfavorably to the squads in Aliens and Predator:
Woolie: Okay, y'know what? There really should've been a Vasquez on this team.
Pat: Absolutely! Y'know who it should've been? SAMUS! You fuckin' idiot!
While Pat and Woolie discuss the game intelligently, Matt is the only one who focuses onJohnny's butt until the end of the video.
Matt: That is really spankingly, well done ass, I have to say. That was modeled really well.
at the end of the video:
Matt: Man, that is a really well rendered butt.
Matt: And right now Snake should be telling Johnny he has a nice butt.
The game constantly interrupting them at the start of the video about installations and using peripherals that Pat does not have, such as the PS Eye Camera and Playstation Move. At one point, Pat was explaining why they decided to do a Let's Play, despite already having done an episode on it before, but gets sidetracked by all the loading and a warning screen about the PS Eye.
Then it's revealed the reason they chose it was because of how easy it was for them to riff on the first time; they only needed a half-hour to collect all the footage they posted on their initial video, way less than their usual ones.
Pat's expert babysitting, culminating in Pat wondering why he can't just put the baby's bottle in the microwave.
Pat: Baby will learn the rules of the Wasteland.
Pat: And then the baby will burn its lips a little, and grow up to be humongous.
Upon being introduced to the character of John Shepperd, Pat makes a Mass Effect 3 reference to it's notorious ending.
Pat: Commander Shepard! Commander Shepard got pissed off about his shitty ending and back in time to fuck up the ending for another game!
The horrible line reading of the protagonist yelling for his son Jason is pretty funny. "JAY-SUN!" And it gets better in Part 8, when he hallucinates his son in a crowded train station and he starts yelling for him again, with the exact same sound clip.
When Lauren explains to Shelby that her son often got into fights with other kids:
Pat: (in a bad French accent) My mom isn't a prostitute- even if she is a prostitute!
Mat, when a Madison segment turns out to be an Ethan one.
They lost their shit when Shelby sits at his table, looking incredibly defeated.
Pat's hilarious reaction when he finds out that Daigo, of EVO fame, is actually a nurse. He's filled with joy by the fact that Woolie got beat by a male nurse.
Pat: Jesus! I've heard about that thing a billion times! ...And I knew that this game had a bathtub scare! And it still got me!
Part 6 abruptly ends when a fire alarm goes off, causing Matt and Pat to both leave partway through the Let's Play.
In later episodes, whenever they return to that room, Pat exclaims, "I remember this room! It's the fire alarm room!"
In part 7, Matt tries to warn Pat not to heal when your sanity is low. But...
Matt: Oh hey guess what-
Pat: It's fine
*Karim explodes from the waist up*
Pat: ...It's fine.
Tour-Guide Nixon voice returning in Part 9.
In the Lindsey chapter, Pat runs low on health and magic. He heads off to a side room to recover, but he needs walking distance to Walk It Off. Ignoring Matt's advice, he decides to walk through the hallway of swinging blades instead of circling the entrance.
Matt: But you couldn't do this before!
Pat: It's fine!
*Lindsey gets chopped in half and collapses, Matt is Dumb Struck*
Gets worse in the next part where they reveal that they are rerecording the current part because they accidentally lost 40 minutes of footage after Pat died.
Near the beginning of the next episode where they run into a room full of blue zombies, and they decide to to enchant the shotgun to see what it will do. After laughing at the terrible enchanting animation, this happens:
In Part 14, they finally get to face the giant monster boss that they saw Pious summon earlier in the chapter. It steps on Paul and squishes him like a bug in a cutscene. Even funnier because Matt prepped a bunch of spells for the fight and was psyching himself up for it beforehand. Made even funnier by Pat's stunned "...OKAY!"
At the beginning of Part 15, Pat shows some trepidation at the narrative's demand that they now find eighty-eight keys. Matt's a little quicker to catch on:
Pat: I need eighty-eight fuckin' keys!
Matt: Now —
Pat: That's where we fuckin' left off!
Matt: I'm gonna use my own brain —
Matt: — and say that we probably need to find a piano.
Pat: Use your — [long pause]OHHHHHHHHH! Man that's good.
When Pat enters the Roivas' basement to restore power to the second floor bathroom. He gets to the bathroom and just before entering, realizes he completely forgets about the fusebox. After using the penny in place of a fuse, he gets back to the second floor and enters the bathroon to find that he forgot to trip the breaker.
In Part 23, they are struggling in a room where there are a couple difficult enemies and die. When they try again they use as many buffs as they can (including turning "Fucking Invisible") but when the enter the room, they decide to try and run through the room since the monsters don't notice them. They succeed. Cue hysterical laughter.
Just as Matt and Pat are getting the hang of the boss fight - and they're reallly pumped about it - Pat gets trapped inside one of Pious's damage field spells and is killed. Cue restarting the boss fight.
Way of the Samurai 4
Their reactions when they reach the end of their playthrough and end up getting boiled alive by Kinugawa, and their subsequent reactions on how this was apparently the Normal Ending.
Pat: Whew, okay I'm back. I'm gonna use a shelter. I'm gonna use it. Everything's great.
Matt asking Pat about "that old grandma noise" and Crono's cranky grandma in the beginning of Part 24.
When Lavos is turning into his final form, Matt exclaims "Its the tubster!" referencing an enemy seen earlier in the game with a rather silly name, that Matt ceased to drop for the rest of the playthrough.
The Walking Dead
The Let's Play starts off with a bang when Matt dies in the very first zombie encounter.
Matt trying to explain away Lee's past to Clementine leads to two gems in rapid succession.
When leaving the barn in part 6, the game glitches right before the loading screen, making it look like Lee Flash Steps right back into the barn.
They get a lot of glitches, and each one is hilarious. Ben appears to fly out of his chair while on watch at the motel, the backgrounds take a while to render during the preview of episode 4 (leading them to joke that Omid has teleportation powers), and when meeting Molly, Clementine briefly levitates and flickers in and out of view.
Pat threatens to cut up a Metal Gear RAY's face "so much that even yo mamma won't like it". Matt remarks he is now imagining a RAY wearing an apron.
Pat: [high-pitched voice] I can't believe you let them Solid Snakes fuck you up so bad! I didn't raise you like this shit!
Pat keeps forgetting that he can cut through barriers while running, despite the marketing of the game centering around cutting through everything.
After Raiden performs yet another insane feat of physics-defying badassitude.note Grinding on the pavement with his hand and running on building walls with enough speed to catch up to a train. Pat more or less summarizes the premise of the game:
Pat: I'm sorry I didn't have time to listen to your metaphysical nonsense.
Matt: I was looking at a cool cat.
Pat pointing out that the villains have a tendency to make speeches on human nature and history to compare the heroes to themselves, and wondering if they are aware that "Team Snake" kills everyone who makes that speech ever.
And later, Matt commenting "Exactly!" when Jetstream Sam abruptly decides they've both heard enough speeches about higher causes mid-conversation.
After cutting off a civilian's clothes, Pat positions Raiden in front of the man, giving the illusion that Raiden is getting a blowjob:
Pat: This is what I want. This what I want.
Followed by a hilarious codec call between Raiden and Wolf.
Bayonetta is the cat from the beginning of the game.
This was after Matt spent the whole game jokingly saying that word every time a plot point came up.
During the Credits, they compare Rising to DMC, and both agree that Rising is superior. And in an apparent Call Back to Matt comparing Raiden to Dante in the All Stars video and in the first part of their Rising playthrough.
Pat: If you had told me five years ago that I would care more about Sunny than Vergil, I would've stabbed you to death.
Matt mocking Sundowner's reaction to Raiden hurling a Slider at his helicopter.
They return to do the Jetstream Sam DLC, bringing Woolie along with them.
While fighting Armstrong, Pat is bowled over by the boss charging at him like a meteor. After the second time this happens, everyone decides to use Sam's double jump to avoid it. After a while, the boss charges at them again, and Pat leaps into the air. Armstrong follows them. Everyone freaks out.
In another section, a huge guard with a large sword stands at the top of a set of stairs, looking out over a railing. Sam rushes up the steps, and then suddenly runs to the left as Pat makes a slight mistake running up the steps. He then runs to the right of the guard, both times standing literally within a hair's distance of the guard. He fails tonotice Sam entirely. Then Pat makes Sam run through the door behind the guard, which closes behind him and loads a checkpoint. The trio begin cracking up.
Meta example. When listening to Senator Armstrong's speech, Pat interjects with "You know as crazy as he sounds, there's at least 30 people watching this video going, 'Oh my god, I would so vote for that guy!'" 3 guesses as to what the highest-rated comment for that video is.
Pat's continued ecstatic reactions to playing as Sam.
Pat: This...this is playing drugs. This is injecting drugs into my scrotum.
The hype train rolls on as they play the Blade Wolf DLC. The three are discussing things as they get used to Blade Wolf, then start practicing with his attacks, ending with a combo move.
Matt's attempt to get Pat to join him in playing the game failing.
Matt and Woolie deciding to name the Elder Predator who exiles the player character "Uncle Phil".
They also start referring to the player character Predator as "Jerry", and consider him to be a loser.
Matt begins badmouthing a game based on Wanted, when Woolie interjects that he worked on that game... and then agrees with Matt's assessment of Wanted.
After messily killing two out of three gang member standing side-by-side with the third one completely oblivious, Matt expresses shock as the third guard is pointing is gun at a boarded up window.
Matt mentions offhand that the actress who played Topanga posed for Maxim, and we hear Woolie run out the door to get his laptop.
Half-way through the game, Matt & Woolie are told in a mission briefing that they'll have to deal with a gang called "The Matadors", they quickly joke about how they'll probably be some kind of racist carciture given the games track record, and then, almost on cue, the game cuts to the gang. A bunch of Luchadors with a Spaniard Boss named "El Hongo".
Noting that commenters had said that "El Hongo" translates to "Mushroom", Matt and Woolie begin a Predator-themed riff on the Badgers song.
In Part 8, much to their surprise, the game starts to improve in a flashback sequence. They note how the flashback level is much more visually interesting, better paced, and note how cool the cutscenes involving Bruno Borgia were. They even speak approvingly of Jerry. And then when the flashback ends...
Woolie: Fuck you, Future!
Early on, they laugh at the fact that the Voodoo gang apparently worships a Scorpion God of Death. In the Flashback sequence, we get this callback:
Matt (as mobster): Hey man, Bruno's kinda crazy!
Woolie: Talkin' 'bout givin' birth ta new gods and shit.
Matt: Hey, there's only one true god, and that's the 1930s Scorpion Death God.
Woolie: I thought you were gonna say, like, the Red Sox.
In part ten, after being told to kill a Brainwashed and Crazy Predator named "Swift-Knife" before he can kill scientists that Jerry has to use to bypass biometric locks, Matt pauses and mentions that the Predators in each of the films has a nickname, reciting the various names of the Predators in Predator, Predator 2, Predators, and the AvP films. As soon as he finishes, the mission failed text appears; as Swift-Knife managed to kill all the scientists.
Woolie: Thanks for that sterling recap! Too bad it meant...
Matt: All the scientists were killed before... oh...
Woolie: We were too busy recapping on Predator names. Jerry was trying to remember all his boys from high school, meanwhile, the Knife was walking around killing scientists.
Meanwhile, near the start of Part 10, Matt is desperately searching for the last few guards in a room. Unable to find them, they consult their map, only to find that the last enemy appears to be stuck in a wall. Approaching him to try and attack him, they discover that it is actually a whole squad stuck in the wall on the same spot when they all spring out at once. Woolie's reaction is utter shock.
At the end of part twelve, after some bizarre plot revelations regarding the Borgias, Matt and Woolie get immediately hyped up again once MOTHER sics some Xenomorphson Jerry.
The final boss resembling a Caucasian Woolie.
At the very end of the play through, we get a call back to the very start.
Woolie: Now can we play Persona (4 Arena)?
Woolie: Fuuu- *episode jingle*
Man VS Wild: The Game
In part 5, they take a really good look at the Bear Grylls model's face, and they comment on how off it looks. They mock it by pretending it has a really creepy voice and moving the model so that face is even closer to the camera.
Pat: (laughing) Oh God, oh that's the worst joke we've ever told on this show! Ever. Oh, oh God, it's true though.
In the Patagonia level, Bear Grylls cuts a dead animal's leg off so he has something to "test for hollow ice". Matt then questions this.
Matt: Why couldn't he just use a stick or something?
Pat: There's no sticks out here. *pans camera to show trees* Also, ignore that climbing axe on his backpack.
They mock the way jumping is handled in the game, with Bear doing an awkward pose and being able to turn the model in the air. They do it repeatedly a few times, pretending that they're doing "sick Tony Hawk combos".
More specifically, while escaping from the deserted island on the raft, they intentionally let themselves get caught by a shark, which starts to, VERY VERY SLOWLY, drain their life meter. After waiting for about a full minute, the raft and Bear lazily rotate upside down before the game over screen appears. The extreme lack of effort by the developers is hilarious, and it's clear that they never expected anyone to actually see it.
At one part, a random musical sting starts playing over and over for no apparent reason.
Every time Bear Grylls lights a fire, they crack up because his face is directly in the flames.
Matt has no idea what to do, leading to this absolute gem:
Matt: What's my objective?
Matt opens the menu
Menu: You don't have any objectives.
Pat: You don't have any objectives!
The ending of part 2 has Matt and Pat desperately running around, looking for a save point just so they can stop playing for the day.
Matt doesn't understand why or just doesn't want to install Homecoming on his 360:
Pat: Did you install this?
Matt: No, why would I?
Pat: Because it loads faster.
Matt: Why would I install this?
Pat: 'Cause it loads faster!
Matt: But why would I install it?
Pat: So that it loads faster!
Matt: But why would I do that?
Pat: So that it loads faster!
The complete and utter lack of attempts to hide their contempt for the game is hilarious; Downcoming is perhaps the first game where Pat outright loathes the game and actively continues to recall more reasons why he loathes the game as they progress, and Matt ends up hating the game to the point he refuses to play against the game's end boss. Pat also has quote from members of the development team stating how bad the game is, and the LP is generally populated with their commentary on how grey the game is, how terrible the combat system is, how derivative of earlier games it is, or how bland the characters are, or infinite combinations thereof. Since succeeded by Indigo Prophecy, but surprisingly averted with Deadly Premonition, which both Matt and Pat have stated was a poorly made game, but they clearly loved what it was trying to do.
About halfway through Part 4, they find a fire axe buried into the ground in a chasm. Pat immediately declares that this is the fire axe from Downpour and that it had traveled through time to get there.
Near the end of Part 5, after traversing for a good twenty minutes looking for photos, Matt finds himself sandwiched between three nurses that stunlock him to death with knife combos.
Furthermore towards the end of the episode Matt trolls Pat with his own "ignorance" over where the save point is. The section is infamous for being long and buggy so when it's dragged out even longer (and saving is so important) Pat naturally gets a little upset by it...
Part 12 reveals Matt's berserk button: Alex somehow washed up on shore after falling in a LAKE!
In Part 13, Matt tormenting Pat by ignoring a save point on purpose repeatedly, while Pat shrieks at him to save so they can stop playing the game.
Towards the end of the Let's Play, there are comments from viewers stating that they don't have to play the game anymore because it's so bad. However, Pat refuses to give in and insists on beating it.
The final boss is so cheap that Pat has to take over while an incredibly frustrated Matt refuses to say anything, resulting in several minutes of Pat awkwardly trying to start jokes and getting nothing but silence.
Deadly Premonition: The Director's Cut
Matt and Pat discuss how paranoid Pat was a child:
Matt: You listened to all those PSAs about weird touching in private areas.
Pat:(as an announcer) "Be careful kids, the homosexual is out there to get you."
(as himself) "Are you fucking kidding me? From this footage from the fucking 70's?"
(as the announcer) "Yes."
Matt and Pat making fun of a dream sequence:
Pat: Kids don't require as much oxygen, that's why they're so hard to smother.
Speaking of glitches, at one point they investigate a house and discover that the doors and windows are glowing green from the outside.
Pat is tormented by how terrible the maps are, coupled with the lack of a fast travel option.
During a driving section, an entire hillside turns neon green because of the textures failing to load. They don't notice it at first, but when they do, Pat completely freaks out.
Pat: WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Pat is dumbstruck by several of the animations, such as York walking away while apparently talking on the phone...without holding any phone.
In Part 11, Pat uses a smoke for the first time to make the game skip forward in time. At midnight, the smoke ends, and they find that the sky has turned blood red, there's creepy fog everywhere, and they can hear evil noises. And then they find the Totally OP Beast-Ass Pimp Dog.
Matt and Pat's continuing inability to maintain their composure in the face of the fast-travel car-screeching noise culminates.
Part 25 gives us "Woolie The Liar Stole My Pie!".
The ongoing 'Big-Butt Jackson' jokes, which come to a climax in one of the recent episodes where they can't actually remember which character is meant to be 'Big-Butt Jackson'.
Matt has commonly used a catchphrase "More than you think, but less than you'd hope" or variations on that as a response to jokes. Part 28 of the playthrough blows their mind.
By Part 29, it's hilarious just how much Pat in particular seems to veer wildly between seemingly enjoying the game for its quirky story and presentation, and downright despairing each and every time he gets stuck in one of the action segments.
The third episode of the podcast actually breaks down into a heated argument between Matt and Pat with Woolie, with Woolie talking about how much he dislikes the game, and Matt and Pat defending it... while going on about all it's problems and how poorly made it is.
Pat's stories about his family; An earlier episode details how Pat's Dad once managed to accidentally switch out the paprika he used for his egg sandwiches with Cayenne Pepper, and then sitting through a meal at the dinner table literally suppressing tears. Part 29 ties in with Rustlemania and has Pat's story about eating with his folks and due to wrestling being on the TV, having to advise his Mom that some of her old favourite wrestlers were either dead or drug addicts.
A late game segment has the whole town infected by a Hate Plague. The game tells Pat that he has to get through without killing any of the townsfolk. The first thing Pat does? Pull out his machine gun and blast Quint. The results are an immediate Investigation Failed.
Matt: You fucking stupid idiot!
The best part? Pat does it on purpose. He deliberately checks the characters in the crowd, distinctly says "No," when he can't find who he's looking for, and then blows Quint away.
The entire conversation near the beginning of Part 18.
Almost every single time they use the Fast Travel, as it uses a cartoonish braking sound effect to mark the passage of distance...and they keep forgetting it every single time it turns up and crack up laughing.
The Last Of Us
In Part 3 Pat and an enemy have the same idea to jump through a window to attack the other one and they both end up clipping through each other at the exact same time.
It gets even better, he immediately runs behind a wardrobe , praying that the clicker won't find him. He then realizes that he's going to have to make a break for it behind the other clicker in the next hallway because the clicker that's near him is about to go around the wardrobe and reach him. The really funny part? He'sscreamingat the top of his lungs the entire time in a high pitch voice. It has to be heard to be believed.
It gets worse for him. Seriously. He managed to successfully get pass the two clicker and is in the room he was trying to reach. Everything is going well until he realizes that he's in the room Ellie and Tess escaped through and needs to go back through the hallway where the second clicker was to reach them.
Pat: (to a clicker that can't see him) You fuck off. You fuck off. (Throws a bottle at it)
The last minute of Part 5 which ends with a bang. After everything that has happened to him Pat finally gets sick of hiding, completely throws away sneaking, yells "Fuck it," and throws a Molotov cocktail at the clicker in the hallway. While he and Matt are just watching it burn to death the other clicker hears the noise, comes over to investigate and walks into the fire because it's blind and it manages to burn to death too.
Matt: It's like "What happened Carl?"
When Matt points out a picture of a duck, Pat audibly groans because ducks have been ruined for him since his conversation with Plague of Gripes.
After the discovery that Bill's boyfriend killed himself after stealing all of Bill's supplies and leaving a note telling Bill that he always hated him Matt and Pat discuss their friendship:
Matt: I hope that when I die you find a whole bunch of notes from me that say 'Pat you were always garbage.'
When Ellie gets ahead of Joel in Pittsburgh, this exchange occurs:
Joel: How about you let me go first. And keep your voice down.
Matt: Maybe stop singing for one minute
Pat: Stop practicing whistling.
Ellie: (Successfully whistles) I'm whistling!
Pat: I just told you to stop whistling!
Pat's repeated deaths to the Bloater in part 13 go from unfortunate, to sad, to absolutely hilarious in short order.
Pat gives Ellie the nickname "Garbage". He even uses the name when congratulating her for doing something right.
By part 23 they are completely on Ellie's side, cheering for her, telling her she's awesome and congratulating all her kills and stealth... and still calling her Garbage.
Part 23 is off to a good start, with Pat failing to kill and dying against a single clicker (At first, the weapon sway on the bow caused him to miss multiple times. Then he had headshot the clicker with the pistol and thought it was dead, as some headbits flew off, but it turned out it was still alive as it quickly lunged toward him.)
Later, Pat discovers that Ellie's stealth kill is really loud and attracts the attention of any nearby enemies. Cue him stealthing and running like hell through the rest of the area, which actually proves to be more effective than fighting it out.
Super Best Friends Watch: Mortal Kombat 9
Pat: (Imitating Kung Lao) My grandpa was radical! I have a dumb hat!
The Shame Car returns. Pat banished Scorpion there after killing Sub-Zero I. He was released to fight Liu Kang, but he smells like Lohan.
When talking about Liu Kang and Kitana's relationship, Pat misspeaks and says they will have a hot baby. Matt and Woolie immediately mock him.
Pat: People will make Pictures! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!
No More Heroes 2
The segment where they play the SHMUP game and they start talking about which is their favorite "berry", until...
Matt: This is getting weird...
Working out Jeane.
Matt: (watching Travis put Jeane through stretching exercises) THE HYPEST GAMEPLAY ON YOUTUBE!
The anime segment.
Before every boss fight, Matt and Liam tell Woolie how cool it's going to be. Eventually, Woolie gets frustrated because apparently every boss is cool enough to get them to say that.
Killer is Dead
The overall enthusiasm from the two of them about the game overall. Sure, it's certainly satisfying to hear the Best Friends rip into something they don't like, but it's so funny hearing Pat get hyped about the game and how well it plays.
The suggestions from the two of them that one of the villains looks like Dio from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, prompting a "Goodbahhhhh Mondooooo!" from Pat at one point.
"His son is the pioneer of weird man cleavage"
They suggest that this game is essentially a giant Sailor Moon tribute game with Mondo being Tuxedo Mask.
Pat tells the story of his German crush:
Pat: The story is, I had the crush on the German chick, and she was like "ugh." And then I was like "I like you." And she was like "I go back to Germany now." And then she flew away. That's basically the entire story. I gotta keep people up to date- Holy Shit, its a fucking Unicorn!
In Part 5, a joke about an "organ filled with blood" goes off the rails once the word "caliber" is mentioned:
The crackup immediately at the beginning of Part 4 as they recall what they named the save file.
Upon being given control of pushing a blind elderly woman in a wheelchair, the Best Friends immediately start wheeling her up and down the house, attempt to push her out of the front door, and get stuck in the kitchen.
At the end of Part 7, Lucas's apartment starts attacking him after the main villain hypnotizes him again. However, Woolie decides to embrace the madness, and gives the entire long segment hype commentary that makes it a wonder to behold.
Matt remaining quiet for most of Part 8 save for yelling at Pat to deliberately fail segments; Pat's irate screeching when he realises that he has to start a segment all over again and yelling at the other two about he's the one having to play it is perfect.
The dancing sequence of Part 8 - yet another section both Matt and Woolie goad Pat to fuck up, becomes hilarious with the game's clipping issues; "Mash your head into her fuckin' forehead - they love it."
Part 7, opening with Matt's imitation of David Cage, declaring "I made the bad game."
Part 10 has Pat distinctly avoiding playing the section of the game that takes place in a mental institution in favour of another section; When the game loads the sequence anyway following the completion of a hiding sequence, Pat starts breaking down and wondering whether or not the game saved. He also then begins taking distinct issues, along with Matt and Woolie, at the background and design of the sequence; Knowing what we know about Pat's background and education, the sequence is clearly a genuinely frustrating button presser for him, as he clearly feels that the mentally ill are terribly represented in media - and the others agree - but Pat's trademark rage is still hilarious.
Towards the end of the game, Pat mentions that people have been going back to their Heavy Rain playthough and mining for quotes about Indigo Prophecy, and being surprised that all the things they said which sound like crazy exaggerations are actually true.
Matt makes a call back to a joke from earlier in the playthrough, prompting Woolie to begin evangelizing about Coat Mountain.
Liam tells a story where his little sister was taken to see Pooh's Heffalump Movie but The Ring was played instead. Woolie then mentions one theater that showed porn for about eight minutes before it was shut down and sued into oblivion.
When talking about Matt's pet snake and rats, they joke that next he should get a mongoose to continue the food chain. They then decide that a bear is the next animal he needs to continue the list.
Wolf Among Us
When they first meet the Woodsman Matt and Woolie immediately peg him as a dead ringer for Plague of Gripes. Jokes about Plague beating hookers proceed to fly free.
Woolie being surprised when the prompt of (Glass Him) meant "Bash the perp's face in with a glass cup" instead of something more diplomatic.
The game gives us confirmation that, while Woolie may not be a liar, his morals are just as screwed up as Matt and Pat say.
Beyond Two Souls
Similar to what they did to HeavyRain, the Season 7 Machinima episode of this game is basically parts 1 and 2 of this playthrough.
The return of James Small in part 2.
James Small/British Matt: Is this a Codemasters game? Cause if it's not, you can fuck off the edge of my dick!
This gem from part 4:
Matt: Woolie's ruined at least seven Christmases and saved four.
Pat's overly endearing, weirdly fatherly and brilliantly timed "Hey, Champ!" as Doctor Dawkins following Jodie and Aiden taking revenge for the former's incredibly poor treatment at the party.
Also at said party, their maniacal glee over the "Revenge" prompt.
Whenever the characters say monsters, Matt replaces it with Monstars.
Part 5 has two in quick succession when they finally get to the Condenser. One is Woolie's assertion of "Don't send me in that room, I'm gonna get fucked up!" and then Pat screaming "IS THAT THE EYE OF SAURON?!" when he sees the Condenser.
The trio's sheer bewildered excitement upon being given the prompt to jump off the bridge in part 6.
Meanwhile, Jodie rants to Aiden in an incredibly Tear Jerker speech about why Aiden should just let her go...and Matt immediately lampshades that it would be really sad if they didn't have to constantly jump around Jodie's life and had some clearer context.
Pat's dedication to having Jodie make the worst decisions possible, to see how bad David Cage's story gets. Best example occurs with the guy behind the alley in part 6.
[Jodie gets on her knees]
Pat: No way! NO WAY!
Pat: I REGRET THIS!
Woolie: OH MY GOD!
Matt: What did you THINK was gonna happen, ya fuckin' putzes?!
Pat: I thought it was gonna STOP at this point!
Part 7 gives us the greatest "Woolie & Pat can be friends" moment, when Pat reveals he doesn't know how birth works:
Matt: [deadpan] Guys, you're supposed to feel emotions about the miracle of life right now...
Matt theorizes that the newborn baby will have David Cage's face modeled onto it. Cue more of Pat's squealing laughter.
Sometimes the simplest things are the most funny. Following Jodie's hobo-ventures, she escapes from the hospital after her coma. When the next scene opens on the side of a road, the camera, for some inane reason is fixated on a sign that says"Caution: Bears, Next 10 miles", even though it ends up having nothing to do with the scene.
Matt: Okay, now this might start getting cool.
In Part 8, the introduction of Angsty Teen Punk Jodie and how it completely wins Woolie over.
In Part 9, Jay completely wins over Matt, and to a lesser extent, Woolie and Pat.
This conversation in Part 9:
Pat: Okay, so I- I want to clearly point out that these guys are clearly are not the same actors who were saying that other dialogue. Matt: What? Pat: They brought in some different Native American dudes and have them do separate lines- Woolie: -and then dropped it in the middle of the English conversation. Pat: Assassin's Creed III was the worst about that. Woolie: No, it wasn't. They actually were the same people. Pat: They were? Woolie: Yes. Pat: But it sounded different. Woolie: No, they were the same. Pat: Well, now I'm an asshole! Woolie: You are. Pat: Aw shit!
Their constant attempts to give the game a chance while it throws stuff that they find completely asinine is hilarious.
"No, no. His leather jacket used to be a horse. And then he asked, 'oh leather jacket, teach me your secrets'."
The section during Part 7 with Tuesday's baby, I believe, where Matt starts to lose all interest and just starts shrieking the Muppet Babies theme.
In Part 10, Shimashani (the hitherto-silent Navajo grandmother) yells for her family to let Jodie fight a malevolent entity. As another character opens his mouth, Woolie jokingly blurts out "You can talk?!" The character says exactly that.
The fact that the game has become so predictable by Part 12 that the gang actually call the fact that the bloodied ghosts haunting a young Jodie are, in fact, the daughter and wife of Professor Dawkins.
In the same video, they confirm the guess they had made several videos before about the event that led to her being hunted (sent in to kill an African warlord). They even remind themselves of this prediction during the loading screen, right before Jodie is given a picture of the warlord during her briefing cutscene. Matt, Pat and Woolie are beside themselves.
The ceaseless desire to play Phantom Pain, based on the fact that aspects of the Navajo portions of the game (i.e. riding on a horse in a large desert environment) keep reminding them of it; In more than one episode, they've suddenly burst into "WORDS THAT KILL!!!".
In Part 12, Pat runs out from cover and hurtles straight into the first guard in the sequence. Pat dashes around in front of him for a bit before managing to hide. The guard, believing game overs are a failure of the game designer, does nothing at all.
The full repercussions of the "no game overs" design doesn't hit them until later in the video, when they are actually caught by a guard with an assault rifle at point blank range. Instead of shooting, he tries to melee Jodie, triggering a quicktime event.
Matt: What the fuck just happened? Wait... wait, you can't fail, I forgot!
Pat: You know why? Do you know why?
Pat: [mumbled] gameoversareafailureofgamedesign.
Woolie: There ya go.
Pat: Wow, ALL of the tension just evaporated.
In Part 13, Kanye West is possessed by spirits and forced to go on a shooting rampage in Africa.
And in a moment provided by the game itself, Ryan trying to deny he lied to Jodie while a TV next to him is playing a broadcast that proves he did.
The final part has the game basically forcing Jodie to kiss Ryan as the final scenes with the Black Sun approach. Needless to say, Pat - who has done everything to avoid Jodie getting together with Ryan at that point, completely and utterly rejecting him - is not particularly amused as the game basically confirms his usual complaint of the choices in a Cage 'game' being meaningless. Their ultimate decision to remain in the Infraworld was, among other reasons, intended to be a final trolling / "screw you" to Ryan.
Pat: This is the sickest break-up ever!
Disaster: Day of Crisis
In part 2, Matt and Pat begin discussing how gnarly (and not in a cool way) Woolie is, leading them to come up with the next Woolie meme: Woolie the Ent!
Part 3 has them discussing how they're sell-outs, remarking how ridiculous it is to say that when they're doing a Disaster playthrough, and then Matt takes shots at a number of other Let's Players for their playthrough of the Dead Space 3 demo.
Pat has some difficulties with driving the car in Part 9.
Any time Iris shows up, Pat is immediately reminded of the Narm found in Mega Man X4, since a lot of it revolves around the character named Iris.
'Yogi' returns in Part 11, only to have his effectiveness as a boss encounter utterly, hilariously nerfed - just like every other boss fight in the game - thanks to the enhancements the duo have put into Ray's ridiculously cool handgun.
Pat's story in Part 14 about his ex-girlfriend "jolting him into consciousness" by punching him in the face while he was sleeping, because she had a dream where he cheated on her.
Every time Matt goes to kick open a box or barrel and fire pops out is hilarious. This comes to a head where it still happens when the box is completely submerged in water, during a hurricane.
Pat spends the endgame incredulous at the Gameplay Roulette and Ending Fatigue, as Matt has to remind him that the game isn't over yet. Then Matt solves some minigame only for Pat to think it's over...at which an all new game element is introduced.
When they get a game over during the "disarm the nuke" section, Pat's utterly flabbergasted reaction to Ray giving his standard death groan from a nuclear explosion.
Part 4 has Pat showing Matt the numerous mini games that the game has to offer. And then we have the inevitable introduction of Pachinko, which Pat claims is "sorcery". The sheer bewilderment that both players show throughout the duration of the game is just glorious.
Matt's seeming inability to get the "2spooky" meme down right.
Matt: Man, this is 4yakuza5me.
Pat: ...shouldn't that be 4yakuza8me?
Any reference to Super Chunk and her sybian vibro-stool.
Also in Part 14, a random battle rewards Pat with a Large Blow-Up Doll. Given that they were just talking with one of the hostesses on how to improve their technique, the turn of the conversation becomes all too obvious:
Matt: Use it when I get back to the club.
Pat: Use it when I get back to the office!
Matt: No, no, no! Dress it up at the club and then charge people to talk to it!
Pat: "You're so reserved!"
Matt: "I love how elegant you are! You're so buoyant!"
And later, when coaching Lily...
Pat: Get out there. Converse like you've never conversed before!
Matt: Look, the blow-up doll's really rising up the ranks! You gotta outdo her!
Pat: You will be replaced.
*Matt loses it*
Matt: Ah, Blow-Up Doll! I'm not even calling her a name! It's just "Blow-Up Doll"! "Blow-Up Doll-san!"
*Pat loses it*
The first revelation scene of Saejima.
(Saejima pulls out carving wood and slams it on the ground and starts working on it)
(Saejima lifts up his wooden statue, which has him attacking an enemy. Matt and Pat lose it.)
Matt: WAIT, WHY'D HE DO HIMSELF?!
Pat: Look at this move! Look at it!
(Saejima lifts an enemy up in the air and clotheslines them as they come down. It hits so hard that the enemy does a flip in mid air, which Saejima uses to his advantage by slamming them back into the ground.)
Matt: Holy shit...oh my god! (Pat laughs in the background)
During Tanimura's campaign, the two see a disgusting old man get shot in the back by his supposed ally, being told You Have Outlived Your Usefulness. The guys remark on how it really sucks with that happens, as if they have personal experience and have survived such events.
Pat: I am super paranoid that Liam is just gonna stab me!
Matt: And be like "you have outlived your usefulness!"
Pat: NOOOOOOOO! I helped build this channel!
Matt: And then you write Liam's name in blood and I walk in and go "Oh shit... Woolie!"
Pat: Yeah, Liam just covers up the A and the M with rubble and writes Wool in front of it.
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
The duo's escalating comments about how AM is pretty much using the group's tortures as a way to "get off".
Woolie: "I have no dick and I must fap!"
Pat is speechless in Part 3 when Benny inexplicably grows a third arm to shake the mutant child's hand.
What's better is that Pat queries whether or not that's a glitch. Woolie quite blatantly tells him no.
In part 4 when the Devil character nonchalantly states that AM has taken over Hell, the duo goes on about how cool it would be in AM actually did take over Heaven and Hell, even if these claims are false.
Pat's constant bafflement at the sassy-ness of Ellen, which he finds implausible given the century of torture the characters have been through.
Pat sums up, from personal experience, what being salutatorian*
The student who reads the opening speech at a high school graduation, as opposed to the valedictorian who reads the speech at the end.
Woolie: Oh, so if you're too shit-tier to be the valedictorian— Pat: Yeah, pretty much. That was me... I wasn't in any clubs and I hated everyone.
An amazingly dark example: Pat reacts to Ellen's as-of-yet-unexplained fear of the color yellow by naming one of his saves "Yellow is Boners", which Woolie (who's played the game before) says was probably not a good idea. Later in the level, we find out Ellen's fear comes from repressed memories of a man dressed in yellow locking her in an elevator then raping her, and Pat suddenly gets what Woolie was talking about.
Pat:Yellow really is boners! I was right! Woolie: (trying not to laugh) You were... you kind of nailed it.
After the encounter, Woolie mentions what would have happened if Pat hadn't picked the "fight back" option.
Woolie: You pick the wrong action at the end there— Pat: I did? Woolie: No, I'm saying if you do... Pat: Yeah? Woolie:Yeah... actually. Pat: Oh...kay, never playing this again.
Then Pat tries to name his next save "Yellow is No Longer Boners" but runs out of room.
Pat, starts Gorrister's story off by making several decisions without heeding Woolie's warnings. Most of them don't really matter but...
To sum the episode up, Pat electrocutes a bunch of helpless animals, eats bread covered in rat shit, and finally stabs open the gas bag of the airship he is on and shoots it, with less-than-desirable results.
It gets better in part 10, where Pat has to choose between healing the Big Bad of Gorrister's scenario, or Gorrister's wife. Pat chooses to save the Big Bad, screwing himself out of the good ending for Gorrister and subsequently the game. Woolie's reaction is priceless. Pat wisely takes Woolie's advice and reloads his save in part 11.
Pat tying Edna up and shoving her in his pocket.
He later does the same thing with Glynis' corpse.
When they get to Nimdok's scenario, Pat enters an operation room with a child strapped to a gurney, and an assistant scientist sent to oversee the "operation." Pat's immediate reaction is to calmly save the game, grab a scalpel and stab the assistant as Woolie starts laughing about how he didn't even seem to consider any other option.
Woolie: You went right for it!
Heading into the finale, Pat names the save file Attack On AM, getting Woolie really hyped.
Pokémon LeafGreen Nuzlocke
Woolie adds an additional rule for their Nuzlocke run: When in doubt, they must name things after either hip-hop or professional wrestling. As such, they end up naming the protagonist "DMX", and after asking who the opposite of DMX is, name the rival "Ja Rule".
As a subtle one, the first major task in the game is for DMX to deliver a parcel from Oak to a nearby Pokemart. X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA, FUCK WAITIN FOR YOU TO GET IT ON YOUR OWN, X GON' DELIVER TO YA.
When beginning the game, they're confronted with the expository tutorial text, ending with this:
On-screen text reads "Press A to begin your adventure!"
Part 1 ends with the group heading to Route 23 in hopes of capturing a Mankey. A Rattata shows up instead, but due to the double clause rule they're able to try again to capture the next Mon to show up. Woolie asks for all the fans to raise their hands in hope. A Mankey shows up, the group gets hype, and the video ends on a cliffhanger.
Matt's constant insistence to use Tackle at all times in battle, even though Bubble would be better due to it having STAB (Same Type Attack Bonus) on Squirtle.
Likewise, when Kamina (a Squirtle) goes up against a Pikachu, Liam goes through the math in his head to decide if it's worth a turn to use Withdraw and figuring it is—not realizing that Pikachu only had one attack (Thundershock), which Withdraw did nothing against because it was a special attack rather than a physical one.