Funny / The Wedding Singer

  • Robbie pointing out how bad Linda is at communicating.
    Linda: Oh, yeah - sure! Living in your sister's basement with five kids while you're off every weekend doing wedding gigs at a whoppin' sixty bucks a pop?
    Robbie: Once again, things that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
  • Robbie's bitter and angry wedding performance after being stood up by Linda. Especially the "Love Stinks" part.
    • While Robbie's getting beaten up by the aggravated father of the bride, one of the "mutants" is biting on the father's leg.
  • When Robbie sings "Somebody Kill Me Please", mood swinging from happy to incredibly angry to suicidal.
    • "I just want to warn you when I wrote this song I was listening to The Cure a lot." He wasn't kidding!
  • Steve Buscemi delivering an absolutely picture perfect cameo as an utterly blitzed best man.
    • Which leads to a hilarious pay-off when he appears as a wedding singer in Robbie and Julia's wedding at the end.
  • "He's losing his mind!...and I'm reaping all the benefits!"
    • The way he slowly closes the curtain while staring with his bug eyes really sold that line.
  • "How're you doing, sir! Chicken or fish?"
  • So much about Robbie's Fish out of Water experience in the first class section of the flight is funny, but the Gilligan Cut from Robbie starting to talk about why he's on the plane to an eavesdropping busybody passenger, to the tail end of Robbie's recap of the story so far, when pretty much the entirety of first class and the cabin crew are sitting enthralled listening to him:
    Robbie: she comes over to tell me how she feels, and Linda answers the door wearing nothing but my Van Halen T-shirt!
    Crowd: *gasps*
    Billy Idol: No way!
    Robbie: I don't know what to do! She's getting married, and he's gonna ruin her life!
    Billy Idol: Ah, Glenn doesn't deserve her. All he cares about are possessions. Fancy cars, CD players... Even women are possessions to him.
    Robbie: See? Billy Idol gets it. I don't know why she doesn't get it.
    • Which is followed up with this gem:
      Robbie: Oh my god! The mile-high guy is Glenn! They're on this plane!
      Crowd: No way!
  • Grandma Rosie's letter in the stage musical, sung sweetly just like a loving grandmother, ending with this lyric:
    Rosie: And if you're feeling sad, remember... that Linda is... ... ... a skanky hoe.
  • The look on Billy Idol's face when the old lady asks what the mile high club is.
    • And the old Asian guy behind him who has the same look.
  • The drunk old man at the bar after Glenn punches Robbie in the face and jokes that he should write a song about it.
    Old Man: (thoughtfully) Sounds like a country song!
  • Robbie learning Glenn's last name:
    Robbie: I don't even know your last name.
    Glenn: It's Guglia.
    Robbie: Guglia? Oh, so Julia's last name's gonna be Guglia. Julia Guglia! That's funny!
    Glenn: [unamused] Why is that funny?
    Robbie: I - don't know.
    • Later...
    Julia: [into the mirror in her wedding dress] Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Mrs. Julia Guglia.
    (disgusted at the sound of it)
    Julia: Hi, it's nice to meet you I'm Mrs. Julia Guglia...
    (laughs, breaks out in tears, pauses, then smiles; starts to practice saying Robbie's last name.)
  • Robbie testing to see if Glenn's a cad:
    Robbie:[looking at a sexy waitress; monotone voice] My, God. That is a luscious ass.
    Glenn: [smiling] That's premium grade, top choice meat.
    • Funnier, Robbie is only pretending to be that hammy, but Glenn actually is that way.
  • One of Robbie's nephews calla Linda a "bitch".
    • He also drew a mean picture of her. Robbie said it wasn't nice but was quite a good drawing.
  • Someone asks Robbie if he feels like shit after being left at the alter.
    Robbie: No, man, it feels great. Hey, my parents died when I was 10, wanna talk about that?
    • Then later, Robbie's parting shot:
    Robbie: Hey, have a few drinks then drive home, okay?