Funny / The Cat in the Hat

1970s Special

2003 Film

Okay, so the film's not exactly the best Seuss adaptation. But there are some genuinely funny moments.
  • In the live action movie, the Cat suddenly "chops off" part of his tail, making him yell "SON OF A BI-" *BEEP!*
    • Which cuts to a "Hang in there baby!" poster with the cat wearing a familiar hat.
    • It's more how the timing of this one works. The assistant (also played by The Cat) making that "cut the feed" motion just as he's cussing a blue streak.
    • And after the scene is over, Cat is seen with his tail bandaged and surrounded by lawyers. He claims "Look, I'm not saying we're going to sue. I'm just saying we have a case" before realising the camera is on him and moves on.
  • You're not just wrong, you're stupid! Admit it, that bit was kinda funny.
  • "I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident!"
  • "How many shots?"
  • "Honey, it was ruined when she bought it."
  • This exchange.
    Fish: This cat is currently in violation of 17 of your mother's rules!
    (phone rings; Cat answers it)
    Cat: City morgue!
    Fish: 18!
  • The Cat exclaiming "Dirty Hoe" to said gardening tool, then picking it back up and saying "I'm sorry baby, I love you."
  • The SLOW was initially called the Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter, or SHIT.
  • The "Third Option: Murder" bit. It's obvious Mike wasn't being serious with that and reminds you a lot of his Dr. Evil persona from Austin Powers.
  • Cat nearly attacking the Birthday Boy after the groin attack while disguised as a pinata. The kids have to drag him off before he can go through with it.
    • Before that when he gets hit in the groin by the baseball bat when disguised as a pinata, it cuts to an Imagine Spot with him dressed in a frilly dress and pushing himself on a spring while "Easy Like A Sunday Morning" by Lionel Richie plays in the background with a unicorn there too.
  • "I just need you sign this petition with this giant oversized pen that requires both hands."
  • The driving scene. "Wait a minute, two people can't drive at the same time!" "You're right...we should all drive."
    • "I think there's something wrong with your brakes, when's the last time you had them checked?" (said while holding the severed brake pedal)
    • "I dunno, there's this little voice inside my head that's saying, "This is a bad idea", but I can hardly hear that little voice because at the same time an even louder voice is screaming, "LET THE TWELVE-YEAR-OLD DRIVE!!""
    • "Airbag... standard."
  • The Cat complained that his eyes were closed when he and the kids' picture was taken. Because he was vomiting.
  • Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number '2' does not imply in any way that he is inferior to Thing 1. You may feel free to call him 'Thing A', if you like. He will also accept 'Super Thing', 'Thing King', 'Kid Dynamite', 'CHOCOLATE THUN-DA'...Or 'Ben.'
  • One of the Deleted Scenes, in which Fish calls Joan on her cellphone while the Things wreck havoc in the house; Joan is preoccupied playing Conrad's Gameboy:
    Joan: Joan Walden Real Estate, be it ever so humble, there's no place like Joan.
    Fish: Thank goodness! Mrs. Walden, I have to talk to you...
    Joan: Who is this?
    Fish: Well, let's say it's... someone you know... someone who sits in dirty water watching you all day...
    Joan: Listen, you perv, I've got two kids and a mortgage, so stop harassing me.
    Fish: I'm not harassing you, you stupid air breather! What I'm trying to tell you is important!
    Joan sets her phone down and resumes playing the video game; back at Fish's end, one of the Things pops out of the receiver, scaring Fish.