Funny / The Adventure Zone: Graduation

Due to being a moments page, all spoilers will be unmarked.

---

Episode 1: Orientation

• Firbolg does this with his very first line:
  Firbolg: I vill sleep on ze floor.
• Right from the start, Griffin and Clint almost get into a duel over who gets to play the hot character this season with Argo and Fitzroy, who are described as "very handsome, very sexual" and "sexy, handsome, good-looking, very sexy, handsome, and good, and popular, and handsome, and strong," respectively. And then we meet the Firbolg, a gruff-voiced Terse Talker who craps in the woods specifically because he's not an animal.
• The Running Gag about the staff having to remind new students that there are bathrooms, and that doing their business on the floor won't be magically cleaned up despite what the older students try to tell them.
• Rainer, a necromancer, pulls a squirrel skeleton out of her chair and animates it to do a little tap dance. Everyone is predictably creeped out by this.
• Higglemas's opening speech pretty much cements his personality.
  Higglemas: Uh, welcome to the school. If you need help, don't. [Beat] Hesitate to ask. Higglemas out!
• Just how gung-ho the skeletons are about letting people attack them.
  • The skeletons introduce themselves as Skully, Bonesy, and Rattles, but explain this is just a joke, their actual named being Germaine, Victoria, and... Rattles.

Episode 2: It's (a) Familiar

• Gary assuring everyone that there are no secret passages in the school, and begging people to stop destroying paintings and tapestries searching for one.
• Travis ends up spending several minutes describing the lavish breakfast in the dining hall, including three omelet stations. Fitzroy is disheartened to learn there is no crepe station.
  • Additionally funny on a meta level when Travis is talking about how he took the opportunity to create a lavish imaginary breakfast spread, including creating omelet stations on prompting, only to shut Griffin down with a Blunt "No" after being asked about crepes.
• Firbolg, having grown up in the forest his entire life, has no concept of money or ownership, making it nigh impossible for him to comprehend even the basics of accounting. Bartholomew's efforts to teach him devolve into him using trading acorns to a squirrel for a tree, and he still can't get it!
  Firbolg: [clutching his head] Zer is a sound of a clanging!
  • As Firbolg gets more and more frustrated, he yells out how his head feels like it's splitting. When Bartholomew finally give up and tells the class to just read their syllabus:
    Firbolg: VAT IS SYLLABUS?!
• Fitzroy describes how he was kicked out of Knight School for "catfishing" his professor; by which he means his magic accidentally turned her into a catfish.

Episode 3: Pursued by a Bear

• Fitzroy has Snippers take a memo for him, only to realize that the crab doesn't even have a pen or paper.
• The reveal that Fitzroy was scammed into becoming a knight, and that Goodcastle probably doesn't exist.
• The Firbolg is struggling so much in accounting, he's started wearing a dunce cap. When Travis says the school wouldn't make him do that, Justin reveals that the Firbolg made it himself.
• Every time the Firbolg brings up something he or anyone else is doing in a less-than-stellar manner, to the point that Fitzroy starts to pick up the habit:
  Firbolg: This is a great shame.
• The roundabout ways the guys manage to pass the tavern tests with.
  • Argo convinces someone who works at a castle that he works for an interior design magazine, and he wants the secret route into the royal chambers so he can write an article on their cleaning work.
  • Firbolg thinks the criminal fence sells literal fences, but manages to win him over with his bare-bones knowledge of accounting.
  • Fitzroy bets his many fancy brooches for a treasure map in an arm wrestling contest. He loses, but the NPC gives him the map out of pity. When the simulation is turned off, he simply takes back the brooches.
  • At the end, their teacher reveals that each of the NPCs were tailor-made to their skill-sets, but they made things much harder on themselves by picking the wrong ones.
• Fitzroy describing how he is forced to eat gruel off the floor in detention, only to reveal that he is making it all up in a letter to his parents so they will let him come home.
• During the dungeon crawling lesson the group enters a fight with a bear. Due to being injured, Fitzoy enters a rage and his first instict is to throw Snippers, his crab familiar, at the bear. Even better: he manages to do a significant amount of damage in doing so.

Episode 4: Four Sidekicks Walk Into a Bar...

• Travis revealing that all the emphasis on accounting wasn't just a bit, it's an important gameplay mechanic for this campaign.
• When Travis reveals that the mousefolk shopkeep is named Geraldine - or "Gerry", for short - Griffin lets out a half off-mic "Oh, motherfucker!"
  • The revelation that the tabaxi shopkeep is named Tom is enough for Justin and Clint to break the fourth wall, show up in the shop, and laugh their asses off at the naming convention before leaving.
  • Their store is named "Barns and Nobles". Not even "Fantasy Barnes and Noble", just "Barns and Nobles".
  Travis, indignant: It‘s for people who work in a field or royal events! It‘s Barns and Nobles!
• Fitzroy manages to get a free drink at the tavern because "he's an influencer".
• A cave monster has disrupted a local mining operation due to the miners digging too far in, so the boss of the operation and the head worker hire the party to determine whose fault it was for insurance purposes. The party's solution? Deliver a subpoena to the monster and sue it for damages.

Episode 5: What's Yours is Mined

• Firbolg aims a moonbeam at some of the magmen, and the guys joke that these are the meanest magmen. They have backwards baseball hats, chew gum, and spit at the heros.
  • When they get destroyed, it turns out that they were peer-pressuring the other magmen into attacking the party, so the rest of them scatter.
• One of the phrases the group tries on the door puzzle is "butter mine". Even better, it actually contains enough of the right letters to help them figure out the correct answer, "bottom line".

Episode 6: Long Overdue

• The party finds out that they don't get to keep the items or money they get during their missions. Fitzroy is especially reluctant to give up his magic cloak, claiming he needs it for a photoshoot for "Boy Cloaks Magazine".
• New Firbolg name: Fiscal Responsibility, Fisc for short.
• Firbolg teaches Argo about trees, and convinces him to eat the bark. Turns out the bark tastes awful and Firbolg was just pranking him.
• Firbolg gives the pegasus a parting gift: a loose wad of glue he was keeping in his pocket.

Episode 7: Secrets, Secrets

• Travis describes how all of the named NPCs made the cut for the next semester and only the faceless unnamed students were culled from the school, save for Steve, who Argo aparently formed a deep bond with offscreen before he had to leave the school.
• Gary mentions that he cannot eat melon, being a stone gargoyle, so Firbolg beings to describe what melon is like in excruciating detail. Gary pretends to make a phone call to get out of the conversation.
  • This comes back later at Rainer's birthday party, when Firbolg doesn't have a gift prepared he gives her his detailed written description of melons. Surprisingly, she loves it!
• Fitzroy has been trying to swear more to get into his villain persona, but he always sounds like a complete dork every time he swears. Multiple characters comment on this fact.
• Argo made tunics out of the curtains in their dorm for himself and Firbold to wear to the party. He also gives the curtain rings to Rainer as a birthday gift, presenting them as "golden rings".
• Festo flies over to Fitzroy and says they are ready to party, not with Fitzroy, but with Snippers. The fairy and the magic crab then proceed to perform an incredible dance sequence complete with dubstep music.

Episodes 8 and 9: Mission: Imp Hospital

• The name of the episode is "Mission Imp Hospital".
  Travis: And in case you all were wondering, the title came first.
• Griffin rolls high on an Insight check, so Fitzroy puts together that the imps in the hospital could have something to do with the demons in the Unknown Forest.
  Fitzroy: Guys, you'll never believe it. My brain just connected two pieces of independent information, to form a new thought! A new conclusion. It's among the first times I've ever done this!
  Firbolg: Vitchcraft.
• During the discussion of what abilities the characters acquired at level 4, Justin brushes it off and says he just got a few more dexterity points. Later, when Travis asks if anyone in the party has Dark Vision:
  Firbolg: I vill become a cat.
  Griffin: (Cracks up)
  Travis: What?!
  Griffin: A Talking Cat!?!
  Justin: The Firbolg becomes a cat.
  Clint: Wait a minute-
  Fitzroy: This whole time you've been able to do that?!
  Firbolg: I haf not needed to be a cat.
• Argo asks if the Firbolg has been the difficult-to-perceive-cat this whole time:
  Firbolg: Dis, dat you say, is racist. Cat-racist.
• Fitzroy's spot-on demon impersonation.
  Fitzroy: Come my children! Nurse at my demonic udders!

Episode 10: Dark Arts and Crafts

• As soon as Fitzroy learns there's finally a crepe station he bolts out of the dorm.
  Justin: Uh, I hope it's a crepe station five. I hear that the crepes load pretty much instantly.
  Travis: It's a crepe station six.
  Justin: Crepe station six?! Oh holy shit! Those are supposed to be illegal!
• Firbolg tells a joke.
  Firbolg: How many seeds does it take...to grow the mighty birch?
  Argo: We don't know!
  Firbolg: ...One seed.
  • Firbolg refers to this joke as a "thinker" and promises they will laugh later. Sure enough, Argo randomly bursts out laughing much later over this.
• Rainer mentions going to see her dad, and that he's dead, but he's fine. Fitzroy immediately starts freaking out about the possibility of Rainer reanimating him, but she assures him that's not the case.
  Fitzroy: Hey. Hey, Rainer? You didn't like, squirrel-tize him, did ya?
  Rainer: No, don't be silly! He's a lich!
  Fitzroy: Oh. Yes. That was a silly of me to ask the question I asked, considering the answer you then gave to me.

Episode 11: You Can Call Me Al(thea)

• The Firbolg's entire first interaction with Althea is hysterical, as he introduces himself as "the resident bad boy." He manages to be mildly disrespectful for maybe two minutes before breaking down and admitting he is no such thing. Turns out it was Rainer's idea.

Episode 12: Pop Quiz

• The Firbolg, recognizing that getting the sacred apple from the centaurs will involve a fair amount of subterfuge and possibly stealing, sees a problem right out of the gate.
  The Firbolg: Listen… I tell you this now. And… Higglemas will attest. You must not tell me the plan.
• Higglemas agrees:
  Higglemas: Please, for the love of god… don‘t ever let the Firbolg out of your sight. If anyone asks him a direct question… if you have to knock him unconscious, whatever you need to do, get him the fuck away from them.

Episode 13: Apple for Teacher

• How do Argo and Fitzroy scheme without letting the Firbolg in on it? Have him shove dice in his ears and sing to himself while they talk. And Justin actually takes his headphones off for the duration of the conversation.

Episode 14: Spirit Day

• The scene where the Thundermen meet the Spirit of the Scarlet woods is mostly chilling to listen to, but Fitzroy adds some much-needed levity with his sheer lack of respect. When the Spirit explains it wants a sacrifice, he tries to offer it their road trip snacks.
  Travis: Make a constitution saving throw.
  Griffin: Aw, man! That was a joke!

Episode 18: Field Trip

• Fitzroy tries to send Snippers under a door to eavesdrop, only to find it's been blocked off.
  Griffin: Are you telling me that somebody has installed a fucking Snippers prevention device?! Specific—-specifically for this one, like, thing? This one instance?
  Justin: [laughs] Yes, someone did. And it is Travis, who knows your bullshit.
• Fitzroy points out that Fauxronymous/Gray is actually pretty good at running the school, so maybe he should quit being a demon lord and just focus on his administrative talents. Gray dryly responds that he ran several levels of the abyss; he already had experience in this sort of thing.

Episode 19: Creative Writing

• One of the only moments of levity in this otherwise terrifying episode is Fitzroy acting like his usual self when he wakes up in a future where he's a highly feared and powerful king, destroying his bed with his new godlike powers just for the hell of it, childishly demanding food, and showing up in his throne room without bothering to change out of his pajama pants or put on a shirt first. The kicker is that no one reacts as if this was odd, implying that this is kind of just what he's like.
• In Fitzroy's vision of the future, he has a letter from Rainer, which reveals she has become a Future Badass as well... and also calls him "darling" and seems borderline flirtatious. He's very weirded out by the "vibe" here.

Episode 20: Group Assignment

• Higglemas has pure Big Brother Worship. Justin^note The real-life oldest of the McElroy brothers[ as The Firbolg says that idolizing one's older brother is totally justified.
  Firbolg/Justin: I understand idolizing the oldest brother is very common. Seeing them as godlike, infallible, sexual superiors... this is a common trait.
  Travis: Dammit! [cracking up] I can't even deny that that's what's happening!
• While discussing the matchup between Grey and the Thundermen:
  The Firbolg: To contrast, he runs a hell dimension and we share a toilet!
  Higglemas: I know that this won't help much, but it is one of the smaller dimensions?
• The Firbolg's line at the end of the episode, after bringing the school librarian Sabour into the "circle of trust" and letting him know what's really going on.
  Firbolg: Congratulations on your promotion to secondary character.
  [Travis, Griffin, and Clint lose it.]

Episode 21: Loose Lips, Sunk Ships

• Argo, after seeing a vision of his future, is a little hesitant to kill the Commodore, because he has a feeling that's where his path of violence and bloodthirst really starts and he's not comfortable with that. Then he talks to the guy for two minutes and is immediately back on the murder train.
• "We don't want to let our murder-eyes get bigger than our stomachs."
• Fitzroy suggests Rainer could make little capes for her skeleton animals to make them less creepy. They then both wonder why the hell they didn't start making and distributing pet capes before, as this is clearly a potentially lucrative side hustle for them. Firbolg objects on the grounds that Thundermen LLC isn't looking to expand at the moment.
• The Thundermen bring Rainer up to speed, and Fitzroy mentions that in the future, she seemed to be proposing marriage to him, which makes her blush. He then asks to meet her father (to enlist his help in the war against Gray) and keeps accidentally blurting out hints of information he didn't mean to tell her. They both agree this is their "worst conversation yet."

Episode 22: Open and Shut

• During their tribunal before the Unbroken Chain, the Thundermen are all asked to describe each other. Fitzroy is tasked with describing Argo, and opens his statement with "Your Honah..." in a thick Southern accent before cutting himself off as everyone cracks up.
  Travis: "Now, I'm just a simple country knight..."
  Justin: Do it, coward! Commit!
  Clint: Do it!
  Griffin: Um, no. I'm not going to do the voice. I feel like that would be a, uh… too much.
  Travis: Yes, because we've always shown restraint here on The Adventure Zone.
• The best part? Griffin does commit to the bit, leading to Fitzroy delivering gems like this one in a ridiculous accent:
  Fitzroy: Your Honor… my client, Argonaut Keene… is about a standup a rogue as one could possibly conceive of. Now, does that make him a bad rogue? Yes.
• "In the wise words of my friend Gary: SUCK IT!"
• The sheer Refuge in Audacity of Fitzroy getting accepted into the Unbroken Chain, and then immediately turning around and accusing one of the senior members of murder. And succeeding.

Episode 23: Between a Rock and a Hell Place

• The entire conversation between Gray and the Thundermen, when the former shows up to pick up the Commodore, and is remarkably chill and affable the whole time.
• When Gray leaves the Unbroken Chain in a Sealed Room in the Middle of Nowhere, the Thundermen consult the interdimensional traveling cat... communicating through Snippers. All the other people in the room stare at them like they've lost it.

Episode 24: With Frenemies Like This

• Gray's note when he kidnaps Sabour:
  Change of plans. Took Sabour to the practice dungeon. Better hurry before I kill him.
  Yours,
  Gray
  P.S.: Yes, this is a trap. Let's not be coy.
• Gray's Psychopathic Manchild Affably Evil tendencies continue once they arrive.
  Gray: Like I told you back in the cavern, not gonna stop your war preparations. I'm glad to see you workin' out there. But, I am going to slow you down when I can, and also… I'm very bored! So… before you can find out what your little tortle friend knows… let‘s play a game! I call it, Try Not To Kill Your Friends.
• Fitzroy's wild magic comes back to bite him in its most spectacular fashion yet. He very impressively manages to throw off some of Gray's mind control magic, with the wind howling and causing his cape to billow out behind him... and then he turns into a potted plant for the rest of the round.
  Griffin: Cosplay that!

Episode 27: Long Way Down

• "Being a bad son is hereditary."
• Festo gives Fitzroy a feather with the Feather Fall spell imbued into it. Fitzroy jumps out the window with it without even bothering to make sure it works first. It does, and he lands safely on the ground... except Festo calls down that it only has one charge per day and he'll have to come back up the many flights of stairs to get a new one with more charges.
• Travis has a suggestion for what to call the McElroy Multiverse: the Clintorus. Justin immediately declares that he is no longer his brother, while Clint cracks up.

Episode 32: By a Hair(cut)

• At the end of the episode, the Thundermen have successfully scoped the HOG HQ out and have a solid plan in place, and leave the building, congratulating themselves on their victory... until they realize something.
  Travis: [narrating] And then the three of you are sprinting away, back to Althea‘s house, into the sunset, preparing for your big day tomorrow.
  Griffin: Oh, shit, that's right. We actually still have to do the thing.
  [Cue ending theme music.]

Episode 34: The Ins and Outs of Contract Management

• The Reveal that Goodcastle is Real After All, much to the shock of the characters, the players, and the audience.

Episode 35: Multiple Choice

• The Thundermen consider the consequences of the heist, and realize they're probably wanted for several felonies right now. Fitzroy inquires about Argo's mother's boat and how easy it would be to steal it, and the three agree that it might be in their best interest to book it and head for international waters for awhile.
  Firbolg: We're supposed to cause chaos, and... what could be more chaotic than us just leaving the story?
• Festo's slapping magic.
• "I drink the drugs under threat of violence from the teacher at this school."
• The end of the episode, after Fitzroy gets his magic back, after doing some ectsasy in a fairy circle with Festo.
  Fitzroy: I guess you could say that the magic was inside me all al—[he vomits, a lot]