Funny: Terminator 2: Judgment Day

  • The stiff and clumsy manner in which The Terminator takes his vow.
    John: Now you gotta promise you won't kill anyone, right?
    Terminator: Right.
    John: You swear?
    Terminator: What?
    John: Now put up your right hand and say "I swear I won't kill anybody."
    Terminator: (parrots) I swear I will not kill anybody.
    Terminator: He'll live.
    • In the script, John said "Sorry" to the guard as they drive pass him.
  • The Terminator hotwires a vehicle… after which John instantly pulls out the keys from the visor.
    John: Are we learning yet?
  • After that, John teaching the Terminator how to speak in a more humanlike fashion.
    John: No, no, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative" or some shit like that. You say "no problemo." And if someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "eat me." And if you wanna shine them on, it's "hasta la vista, baby."
    Terminator: (flatly) Hasta la vista, baby.
    John: Yeah, or "later, dickwad." And if someone gets upset, you say "chill out." Or you could do combinations.
    Terminator: (also flatly) Chill out, dickwad.
    John: That's great! See, you're getting it!
    Terminator: No problemo.
  • "He's my Uncle Bob..."
    • "Uncle Bob?"
      • John shrugs.
  • After John finds out the terminator does whatever he says he asks him to stand on one leg. The scene follows with him standing on one leg whilst talking to some guys, until John quietly says "Put your leg down" out of the corner of his mouth.
    • Seconded. He says it like such a mom to the tall robotic assassin.
  • "I need a vacation".
  • As Sarah is breaking out of the hospital, the guards try to reason with her and insist she's not a killer. Sarah snaps back they as far as she's concerned they're all dead anyway and they know how strongly she believes it, "so don't fuck with me!"
  • When they break into Cyberdyne:
    John: We got company.
    Dyson: Police?
    Sarah: How many?
    John: 'bout all of 'em, I think.
  • John needs money from the payphone to make a call. He asks the Terminator for a quarter. The Terminator smashes the bottom of the payphone, breaking the coin collection box. He follows it up by handing John exactly one quarter given that's all he asked for.
  • When the Connors are planning to flee to Mexico, the Terminator sees a baby, then picks it up and looks at it like he has no idea what it is.
  • For all the tension in the scene, the T-1000's Finger Wag is pretty darkly hilarious, especially combined with Sarah's facial expression. You can tell she's mentally going, "Seriously? Seriously?"
  • John tries to explain what a smile is to T-800 - he then looks at a passer by and scans his smile to imitate it himself - this is the result.
  • John teaches T-800 to do high-fives and puts his own palm for T to swat it... with, basically, a metal rod. T doesn't break his arm, of course, but it still hurts.
    • Afterwards, the T-800 pulls the "too slow" trick John just taught him.
  • The security guard before his Eye Scream moment. He just got a full house on his coffee cup poker game, before the moment and him was killed by the T-1000.
  • After throwing the T-800 through a window at the mall, the T-1000 does a Double Take at the shiny, silver, smooth, featureless shop window dummy before leaving.
  • When the T-1000 spotted John, he walks after him while pushing a kid out of his way.
  • The bar scene in the beginning, the female patrons looks down and grins seductively. Implying that the T-800 is well-endowed.