Funny: Shadowrun Returns
Dead Man's Switch
- When you get caught by McKlusky when sneaking out of Telestrian Industries.
"Why McKlusky. It's a fine day for police corruption isn't it?"
- The text for Jake Armitage's Steam Trading Card, rife with in-jokes.
- Instead of playing the proper tune on the piano to open the secret door... the player can instead play "Chopsticks," causing the janitor to give him an unamused stare.
- If you're a rigger, your drones will follow you everywhere, which leads to some comical situations, such as showing up to Sam's funeral with a hovering kill-bot in tow, or bringing along a Steel Lynx when you're supposed to be undercover as a janitor.
- When talking to Dietrich about his past in a band, you can ask him if he can sing. His response?
Dietrich: I was the front man for a punk band, boss... Fuck no, I can't sing.
- When you meet up with Eiger after the Big Bad forces attempted to ambush you on the subway.
Player character: Eiger, you're covered in blood!
- Late in the game Blitz reveals that Dante, a hell hound, humped his leg.
- At one point in the job where you retrieve the MKVI, you have to search the desk a secretary who's screwing her boss. In addition to the passcode you need to proceed, your character learns at least three new euphemisms for "sex in the maintenance closet".
- During the penultimate mission, one of the local gang leaders accosts you, demanding your help in exchange for his giving you a part needed to get into the basement. He'll ask why you need to get in there anyway, and after the obligatory You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You exchange, you have the option to tell him the truth: you're trying to find the remote killswitch to an honest-to-god AI so that you can rescue a scientist that's supposed to be long dead from a Great Dragon that's also supposed to be long dead. You're right: he doesn't believe you.
- After the final mission, you can speak to Aljernon in the street outside his magic shop. After spending the entire campaign putting up with his cryptic speech, you finally get this exchange:
Player character: Do you two ever speak plainly?Aljernon: No.Absinthe: Rarely.
- In one of the new missions of Director's Cut, you can help out an insane scientist, who later helps you by blaring a cheesy fantasy TV show on loudspeakers, while summoning drones to help you against some corporate goons. Extra points go to the fact that he's re-creating the series finale.
Eiger: Please make this stop.
- Prior to this, you can watch security footage, one of which includes his watching the only source of entertainment he'd had for the past 18 months, filled to the gills with Bad Bad Acting described as "roughly on par with what you'd expect from a primary school Christmas pageant".
Philip Rex: The hidden knowledge of Titonius Rex's victory is mine, and I will be a better ruler for it! And also, I have sugary snacks!
- If Blitz is brought along, or if the player character is a decker, the player can even set it up so that Phil finally gets to see the series finale.
- Also, the quarantine that's been keeping the entire building in lockdown for 18 months? It's undone with two button presses.
- And when you finally leave the place? A Corp retrieval team is shouting at you through a bullhorn to drop the cargo.... Even though you're five feet from them.
- On a mission to help Blitz out of an old debt there are hints of a deeper conspiracy that can be found. When Hasenberg questions your conspiratorial ideas, this response is available:
Hasenberg: Mr. Grinder? Working with Plotz? Are you high?Player character: Yes, but that's beside the point.
- Glory is not typically a funny character, but an awakened protagonist can still get a Comically Serious moment out of her when they read her aura.
Glory: I got something in my teeth? Youíre staring.
Player: I didnít want to say anything, but yeah. Did you have a salad for lunch? I canít be sure, but it looks like kale.
Glory: You're playing with me. I don't like to be played with. [She turns her head away, thrusts a finger into her mouth and rubs at her teeth vigorously.] Did...did I get it?
- One Shadowrunner group has the worst luck when it comes to Deckers. Their list for qualification grows as their Deckers keep biting it in unusual ways.
- Complete with an 'epilogue' where their last decker posts a wanted ad for a new team using the same ad, the qualification list now having added: "Listening to the decker when he tells them he hasn't got the freaking turrets hacked yet".
- The various Poetry Slams on the Shadowlands BBS, concluding with one of the posters making a Poetry-Bot that breaks free of its programming. The moderator (who'd shut the previous threads down) simply responds with "You fucking people."
INFUSED WITH THE JIVE,
- Later, the Jive Bot melds in with a Hive Mind rogue AI.
OUR VERSE IS UNSTOPPABLE.
TREMBLE, MEATBOUND FOOLS.
- Also on the BBS is the warning about "Uncle Tse's" restaurant, warning people to go there at their own peril. The poster had apparently been on the toilet for two days prior to writing, and was only doing so because his connection allowed him to do both at once. Only one person in the thread enjoyed the food there, and their taste is... questionable at best. It's Gobbet.
Maofuu: It felt like I'd eaten a wasp nest, if the wasps were made out of rusty razors. And also on fire.
- Vampire Accountant! To elaborate, one mission has you infiltrating the home of Neville Ma to find some dirt on him. You soon realize that he's keeping a vampire at his home, and the vampire at first seems like your archetypical vampire queen. But after doing enough damage to her in combat, she completely cracks and reveals she isn't a vampire queen, just an accountant who was basically just winging everything from the moment she realized you discover her secret. One of the player character's reaction can be a Flat "What.".
- Complete with said accountant's reaction if you reveal that the only reason you went through all this trouble was to get an actress fired from a soap opera.
- During Is0bel's mission you have the option of reading a set of emails about a malfunctioning noodle dispenser in the convention area's food court. The emails get increasingly bizarre as it's revealed that the noodle dispenser is able to dispense noodles without having any ingredients put into it, and that the maintenance man sent it away for reclamation only to have the noodle dispenser return to its usual spot the next day. Que the last email that reveals this story has been repeating itself for the last 14 years.
Is0bel: Well that was... Something...
- Also during Is0bel's mission, remotely guiding her out of the VIP area is fairly tense and gripping at times, but also several moments of hilarity, particularly when your character is disrupted by irate con-goers who want you to stop hogging the spot.
- For bonus points, the aforementioned con-goer interrupts you just after Is0bel has decided she's done improvising and will just mindlessly repeat whatever you say into your comm. Sure enough, telling the con-goer to shove off will result in her insulting the hotel manager who's interrogating her. Your poor character has to come up with responses that are valid for two entirely different conversations at once.
- Speaking of Is0bel's mission, bringing GaichŻ with you is a riot as several people there thinks he's into cosplay and start commenting on the authenticity of his (completely authentic) Red Samurai Armour.
Rhombus: Holy shit. You really are a ghoul.
GaichŻ: *Bows* Thank you. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for one of you deckers to acknowledge what I am.
Rhombus: So... Uh... She brought you along to beat the info out of me?
GaichŻ: No. I will not beat you. If you fail to cooperate, I will eat your fingers.
Racter: Thank you.
- Likewise, Rhombus and Racter;
Koschei scuttles forward menacingly, its claws weaving in the air. Racter smiles.
Rhombus: So... Uh... [the player] brought you along to beat the info out of me?
Racter: "Beat" isn't the word that I'd use. Koschei is better equipped for ripping and tearing.
[Racter] gives the Whampoan an encouraging nod.
Racter: A good thought, though! You have a firm grasp of the situation.
- If you try to bring GaichŻ with you on any mission that involves social interactions, things usually turn to shooting pretty quickly. Not so during the Ares infiltration mission if you also have Racter, however, as he'll quickly shout down the receptionist by insisting that the flesh-eating ghoul is his bodyguard and also an experiment in creating ghoul-drone hybrids.
Guard: What the hell do you think youíre doing, bringing a ghoul in here?
- In another mission you can bluff your way past a guard into a party by showing him a (stolen) invitation and claim that youíre all invited. Yes, even the ghoul.
PC: Heís not a ghoul, heís an HMHVV-infected person who happens to be a friend of Penelope Wong. And we have an invitation.
Guard: Enjoy the party, sir.
- It can get better. Same mission, same NPC, but you can pretend that he's in costume, there to promote a new show. The NPC is quite impressed by the makeup job, and Gaichu almost seems to enjoy playing along.
- Gobbet vs. The Pastry. Especially if the player goes full Deadpan Snarker mode instead of helping.
- On the thaumaturgical research level of Prosperity Tower, you can let a research subject (a massive, weird thing with a horrifying fanged maw) out of its cage and remotely control the level's doors to route it to the elevators. The guards stationed there just stare in silence as the beast shuffles past them, enters an elevator and rides off to a different floor. After a few moments, one of them breaks the silence with a heartfelt "Oh...shit."
- You can choose to open an office door instead - probably expecting the thing to get rid of the woman in that office so you can loot it. Instead, ''*she*'' kills the Horror. And is quite nonchalant about having just fought an abomination.
- While infiltrating the same building, one option to access the Security station in the basement is to "help" maintenance with a faulty turbine. Sabotaging it has it spout a single plume of flame, prompting an urgent call from the supervisor. The player can reply "Whoops", "Uh, fine! Everything's fine!" or "Uh... is it supposed to shoot fire?"
- As you're making your way through the final mission, you can come across a shadowrunner who will sell you things. One of these is the best armor in the game. The funny part is when you take the deal and exit out. Suddenly his character model is a little different. He's literally sold you the clothes off his back. Sadly, that bug was patched.
- Bring Duncan and Racter with you to the geomantic sabotage mission. Halfway through Duncan will complain how all the petty vandalism takes the glamour out of the job while Racter wonders why you're leaving things unbroken when you're being paid to break things and suggests you go beat up a random chair since it's clearly asking for it.