Funny: Sequelitis

Mega Man Classic vs. Mega Man X

  • RIDING ON CARS! *guitar riff*
  • Regarding Mega Man X
    Egoraptor: HOLYFUCKTHISGAMESAWESOME! Look at the graphics and the music, oh my god it feels so good! And it's not on the Sega Genesis it's on the Super Nintendo! See, this is a sequel, this is a fuckin' sequel! You thought I was going to talk about bad sequels all the time on Sequelitis? FUCK NO!
    (beat)
    Egoraptor: This game makes my dick rock hard!
  • Yeah! Yeah, lemons!
  • This glorious bit:
    Egoraptor: I mean no matter how stupid you are I'm sure you don't appreciate it when you're playing your game and then someone shows up and goes-
    Random Guy: HEY! YOU KNOW WHA- YOU REALLY NEED TA DOOOOOOOO IS JUMP OVER THAT OPEN PIT CUZ IT'LL KILL YOU! ........ 'Kay just wanted ya to know!
    Egoraptor: Okay thanks......
    • Even funnier is if you turn on hints in the Anniversary Collection's version of Mega Man 1, Dr. Light will call you at that EXACT point and tell you to jump over the Bottomless Pit.
  • And then Capcom was like, "Fuck!"
  • Preceding his gigantic gush about the opening level of Mega Man X, we get this gem:
    Okay, lemme level with you for a sec. Electrical engineering? Pretty smart. General relativity? Pretty fuckin' smart! The intro level to Mega Ma-- FUCKING... GENIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSS!!
  • "All right, so let's get serious here for a second. (Beat) CHECK THIS FUCKIN' SHIT OUT!"
  • THEMING. INTRO STAGE. FUCK.
  • The sudden change in tone with this line:
    "WHY MEGAMANX IS SO FUCKING GOOD IT MAKES MY DICK ROCK HARD!!!"
    "also I talk about what elements in the original Mega Man were enhanced to be more effective."
  • When Egoraptor gets to Zero:
    Egoraptor: AND WHO THE FUCK IS THIS *Zooms in on Zero* ...person. Is that a guy or a girl, or, I don't fucking know.
  • The part where he rails on how some games tend to treat the player like an idiot when teaching them how to play saying "It seems to be catered to kids who don't know what's going on in the world. (Beat) They don't know Obama (while a picture of Nelson Mandela is shown)."
  • "See, look, I know you're not a stupid kid... because I say 'fuck' a lot, and you're okay with that."

Super Castlevania 4

The Legend of Zelda

  • Egoraptor makes full use of the Hello, Insert Name Here field:
    Buttface, you have fully matured as an adult.
  • His constant admitting that he's making himself a walking target by criticizing one of the most famous N64 games.
    "What the fuck I am doing with my life? I am harshly criticizing Ocarina of Time on the internet! I am going to get crucified!"
  • "poopy castle."
  • Treasure chests.
    "It's like running downstairs to get the presents under the Christmas tree. Or...menorah. Or, like, whatever. Birthday tree."
  • His complaining about the logic behind the Gorons dying of starvation in Ocarina of Time.
    "There's rocks everywhere! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Your whole TOWN is made of rocks, and you're STARVING!? "

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