Funny / Monsters at Work

It's laughter they're after, and here's some of the best laughs they got.

WARNING: Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies to Funny Moments pages. All spoilers are unmarked.

Welcome to Monsters, Incorporated

• While the Monsters, Inc. employees read the morning paper, panicking about their futures, Smitty and Needleman seem more interested in an article about human kids.
  Smitty: It says here kids aren't toxic if you touch 'em.
  Needleman: W-What if they touch you?
  Smitty: Well, I assume you still burst into flames and die of barfing, like always.
  • Another monster puts it thus: "Well, we're screwed."
  • Mike on the other hand, is a little more optimistic.
    Mike: Isn't this great? The factory's still open, nobody's out of work, no angry mob. And you know the best part?
    Celia: We can go back to Harryhausen's?
    Mike: No, me and Sulley have been banned for life.
    Celia: (disappointed) Oh...
• Once Sulley and Mike are put in charge of the company, Mike calls himself the new "Senior Co-President Of Monsters Incorporated and Chief Executive Vice-Deputy Administrative Director Of Comedy Resources Management" (or "SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM", for short).
• Mike's reaction finding out that Roz has a sister, who apparently isn't as "bubbly" as she.
  "That has a sister?"
  • There's also Mike's reaction when he actually meets Roze.
    "Wake me up, Sulley! I'm having a horrible nightmare, one where you actually smell things!"
• When Tylor arrives at the factory, blissfully unaware of the new changes and the scarers' plight, he passes by a glum George Sanderson (still nude and wearing a cone).
  Tylor: Hey, nice cone.
  George: Hmmm...
  Tylor: First day as a scarer!
  George: (out of earshot) Or your last.
• Tylor watching the Monsters, Inc. employee orientation video, with Mr. Crummyham repeatedly interrupting the now-outdated narration.
  Narrator: This is Monsters, Incorporated; where we scare because we care.
  Mr. Crummyham: A-Actually, we don't scare anymore! Now, we're laugh-powered! Sorry about that.
  Narrator: Every day on each of our state-of-the-art scare floors...
  Mr. Crummyham: Laugh floors!
  Narrator: ...our elite team of scarers...
  Mr. Crummyham: Jokesters!
  Narrator: ...help support the mission of our esteemed CEO.
  Mr. Crummyham: No longer esteemed! Kccch! Headed off to the big house!
• While driving Tylor in the maintenance cart, Val reveals she removed the backing-up beeper so she can make sound herself.
• When Tylor asks Fritz what MIFT is, Cutter groans "Now you've done it" and gives Fritz a chair to deliver a Rousing Speech on. Duncan, without missing a beat, turns on some bombastic music to go with it.
• Fritz says that he can be a father figure to Tylor, but when he mentions that he already has a father and a grandfather, Fritz settles for being an "uncle-who's-divorced-from-your-biological-aunt-but-was-really-cool-so-he-keeps-in-touch-and-sometimes-he-just-shows-up-out-of-the-blue" figure.
• The MIFTers surprise Tylor with a banner reading "WELCOME DAVID", due to Fritz not having enough time to make a new one for him.
  Cutter: (deadpan) Oh, David, David, David... David got his horn caught in the door track, was pulled into a shredder shaft. Never saw him again. We did find some hair. We keep it in a jar, next to the memory candle. Good ol' Davey. I miss you, buddy. (sips her coffee) I miss ya.
  Fritz: I was his uncle figure, too.
• Smitty and Needleman arguing about Tylor's Despair Event Horizon after he tosses his recruitment letter into their trash bin.
  Smitty: Nice shot!
  Needleman: Shut up, Smitty! Can't you see he wants to be left alone! He's depressed!
  Smitty: Why's he depressed?
  Needleman: If you're a scary monster like him, now what do you do? Unless you can make a kid laugh, you got no future.
  Smitty: That's depressing.
  Needleman: Shut up! He can still hear you!
  Smitty: You shut up!
• During Tylor's attempt at making a kid laugh, he hits his horns against a rotating ceiling fan, causing it to come loose, break through the kid's window and hit his father's car.

Meet MIFT

• The MIFTers' Initiation Ceremony:
  • If you look closely, Duncan's cardboard wrench costume has a logo for Amonzon on it.
  • When Tylor tries to complete his initiation by turning a sacred nut with a wrench, he turns out to be so bad at it, that he ends up removing the nut and making it fall into a sewer grate, while the other MIFTers watch in shock and horror (or, in Duncan's case, glee). A Dramatic Pause follows, making it seem that Tylor will get in big trouble for this, but then...
  Fritz: ...Good enough.
• As Celia tells Sulley that the jokesters are working multiple shifts to keep the lights on, we see an exhausted Phlegm Bile emerging from a door, fresh from doing his falling-on-jacks routine, and passing out on his skateboard.
  Celia: You got this, Phlegm!
  Phlegm: Thanks, Celia...
• A sleep-deprived Mike takes pride in being the biggest producer of laugh power in Monstropolis, and is jealous that he's the 1st, 2nd and 4th, but not 3rd, best jokester in the roster.
  Mike: That Lanky, and his spinning bowtie. We'll see who gets the last laugh, Lanky!
• Needleman and Smitty recommending that Mike drink "36½ Hour Energy" to keep himself awake so he can balance his duties.
  Smitty: Me and Needleman drink two of those when we run out of our 73 Hour Energy Drink.
  Needleman: It's twice as good as the 18¼ Hour Energy Drink!
• Mike's song about comedy at the end of the episode concludes with Roze appearing out of nowhere and delivering a knock-knock joke:
  Roze: Knock-knock.
  Mike: Who's there?
  Roze: Police!
  Mike: Police who?
  Roze: Police end this song!

The Damaged Room

• When Phlegm leaves the titular room, he tells Maria there's a problem as she asks what he did "this time" with a bored expression that suggests he does something wrong on a regular basis.
• Fritz playing paper football, only for his shot to be ruined by a flying message bottle.
  Fritz: You win again empty chair…
• Sulley trolling Mike:
  Mike: You see, Sulley, there's a difference between you and me.
  Sulley: Yeah. I'm tall and you're short.
  Mike: No.
  Sulley: I'm blue, you're green.
  Mike: No.
  Sulley: Awesome horns. Little nubs.
  Mike: No!
  Sulley: Furry, not furry.
  Mike: No.
  (beat)
  Sulley: Huggable, less huggable.
  Mike: No! And stop it!
• Mike and Sulley arguing Like an Old Married Couple at the baseball game.
  Sulley: You know, my mother always said, "What goes in, must come out."
  Mike: I never liked your mother.
• Snore lets out a big Bizarre Belch after eating a rot dog, much to the shock and disgust of the rowdy fan. 
• When the monster behind Mike and Sully starts insulting Snore, Mike goes Papa Wolf and starts expressing intent to beat up the monster. Amusingly, Mike doesn't even touch him. All of his swings miss with three baseballs hitting the monster instead each time Mike throws a punch.
• Duncan unconvincingly dressing up as Snore when her parents are coming in. When they ask what they think is Snore is okay, Duncan responds with a full sentence which, of course, doesn't sound like a baby at all. The parents fall for it thinking Snore is a genius.
• In his Comedy Class, Mike fails to understand a whoopie cushion. Then he sits on it by accident, resulting in a very long farting sound. It then cuts to the class where you expect them to laugh, but they just sit there in shock.
  Bob: You killed it!

The Big Wazowskis

• Tylor and Duncan meeting at a "secret room" that turns out to be a storage room and was misspelled "Secert Room".
• The return of the slug boy... yes, that guy. You’d still have to wonder how he got through college if he still takes that long.
• Essentially any scene Gary is in.
• Since Mike and Gary's teams tied in the bowling game, they each win a romantic dinner for two at Harryhausen's... with each other.

The Cover-Up

• The whole scene where Mike tries to bribe Argus.
  Argus: [seeing a dollar bill on top of the forms he's supposed to sign] What is this?
  Mike: My lunch money... but it could be your lunch money.
• Tylor launching a scream canister at Duncan, as suggested by Cutter.
• Tylor's name being shoddily taped over the late David's on the Wheel of Temporary Supervisor.
  • Duncan's name taking up two-thirds of the wheel.
• When Tylor tries to throw an unconscious Argus at the vacation door, his aim is way off, causing Argus to hit the top of the door before it can be opened, and then falling onto the ground in a crumpled heap. Duncan's reaction?
  Duncan: Ouch. I felt that. But he didn't.
• MIFT trying to catch Argus' eye orbs. One gets stepped on by Duncan.
• In the latest Comedy Class, Mike tries to teach the class about knock-knock jokes. Unfortunately, two Jokesters in training wind up Comically Missing the Point and Mike ends up having a nervous breakdown and gets carried out of his classroom on a stretcher.
  Mike: I can't take it anymore! I can't take it any...! It's just a simple thing! "Knock-knock!" "Who's there?" That's how it works! It's called humor!

The Vending Machine

• The funeral for Vendy. Granted it does cross with tearjerker given Fritz’ and Val’s reaction and how it makes the former worry about his age, but in the end it is still a funeral for a vending machine, complete with black mourning helmets and a monster making bagpipe sounds. Tylor lampshades how ridiculous it is.
• Mike looks at artwork to hang in the factory. A painting of a green circle really speaks to him; an abstract painting that resembles Sulley, on the other hand...
• When MIFT take cover from the second vending machine trying to attack them, Duncan writes to his mother like he's fighting in The American Revolution.
• The second vending machine eating Duncan. Cutter’s reaction probably matches that of the audience.
  Cutter: Oh no! Not Duncan! Any body parts left? I got dibs on an eyestalk.
  • Duncan's cries for help include mentioning the interior of the vending machine is not as spacious as it looks from the outside.
• Mike’s class on being funny clowns. Tylor wears multiple little hats, Carla makes a Mike balloon animal, and the third monster… Well, he tried.

Adorable Returns

• Tylor calling the rubber chicken prop he picked out a "naked poultry."
• Adorable has gotten a little goofier and loopier since we last saw him, going into hilarious little monologues that make him veer almost into Cloud Cuckoolander territory.
• The various rumors of how Adorable got banished: Eating a fellow worker (the worker just quit to become a massage therapist), drinking screams from the canister, and stealing 27 and a half cars.
  Val: Is this true?
  Adorable: What would I do with half a car?
• Adorable’s uncanny ability to just suddenly vanish and reappear from almost nowhere. It’s no wonder humans could never find the yeti.

Little Monsters

• The Failure Montage of Tylor failing his jokester auditions.
• Duncan has Oscar, the kid assigned to him, sign a contract saying that he won't try to take Fritz's job. Oscar responds by giving Duncan his own contract saying that he won't be liable for his actions.
  Duncan: [after a Beat] I like your style, kid.
• Cutter shows her assigned kid her collection of the remains of all the MIFTers who have died on the job. At the end, she gives him one of the jars.
  Kid: Can I keep it?
  Cutter: That's not an it, kid. That's Claus.
• Mike's comedy class on the Straight Man and Wise Guy pairing. Unfortunately for him (but luckily for the viewers), he misinterprets which role he and Sulley play for most of the class.
  • Look at Sulley's expressions in the background. He is clearly enjoying the irony of Mike's speech.

Bad Hair Day

• Tylor makes the mistake of bringing donuts on the day MIFT commemorates the death of beloved MIFTer David, who hated donuts. Not only do they toss the box of donuts in the trash, they also set in on fire with a flamethrower.
• The MIFTers celebrate David by going to the barber shop to not get their hair cut. They also have lunch on David's favorite spot, which is in the middle of the hallway.
• David's advice consists of cliche phrases, traffic signs, and a poem about "Boogie Bear", who had no hair.
• To excuse himself to find Roto, who ate David's hair, Tylor says he has to go to the bathroom. Instead of asking if he has to go #1 or #2, Fritz asks if he has to go #3 or #4. When Tylor mentions having eaten Barfallo wings, Fritz warns him that they'll make you go #5.
  • As a Brick Joke, when Tylor sees David during his Near-Death Experience, David warns him that Barfallo wings give you #6.
• During Tylor's Near-Death Experience, The Pearly Gates come down onto a door station like a scare door.
• Turns out Tylor didn't have to risk life and limb to replace David's hair — Cutter keeps a huge bag of it in the closet. ("He was a shedder.")
• Mike teaches improv at his comedy class. The only kinds of things he can imitate are round sports balls.
  • The Jokesters-in-training suggest that he imitate cube-shaped items, which he cannot do, so he gives up.

It's Laughter They're After

• Tylor suggests making bigger canisters to collect laughter to maximize production, illustrating it with a small sketch on the whiteboard. Fritz can't get it through his head that the drawing isn't to scale and keeps asking that the canister be made bigger than that.
• Phlegm needs concentration while training. Said training consists of stabbing himself in the butt with a jack.
• Mike finally confronts Roze and tries to get her to admit that she's really Roz in disguise.

A Monstrous Homecoming

• Jack and Jill, the bickering hosts of I Scream, U Scream, are two ends of a centipede monster, and clearly aren't fond of sharing one body.
• Mike spends the entire episode trying to call I Scream, U Scream for a retraction, especially of his last name being mispronounced "Weirdzowski". He's kept on hold constantly.
  • At one point, Mike is talking about walking up to Johnny Worthington III and telling him "You're an idiot!" Unfortunately, that's when someone finally answers the phone, thinks Mike insulted her and hangs up.
  • When Mike finally makes it through, he gets a message to call again during work hours. Cue Big "NO!".
• The MIFTers get the nosebleed seats at the M.U. homecoming, but at least they get a good view of the field... until a big Blob Monster seats in front of them.
  Fritz: [Looking through binoculars through the monster's translucent body] I can still make out shapes. That is either a quarterback or this gentleman's spleen.
• Duncan is ecstatic that Tylor is bombing at the homecoming halftime, calling it "a gift from above!" And then a pigeon poops on his head.

The C.R.E.E.P. Show

• Duncan bragging about the scale model of Monstropolis that he and his mother made (mostly her; she let him hold the glue). He calls it "Mom-stropolis".
  • After the first ad break, a kaiju appears to be tearing through Monstropolis. It turns out to be a short monster playing on the model. Duncan is livid and kicks him away, where he lands in Cutter's swag bag.
• Monsters Incorporated is put on the Alternative Power Sources (and Other Crazy Ideas) section of the convention floor. Specifically, a half-sized booth next to the bathroom.
  • Because of the size of the area, the "It's Laughter We're After" banner instead reads "It's Later".
  • Among the alternative sources are fart energy and burp energy.
• "Wanna buy a 'Laugh Power' T-shirt? It's mass produced with love."
• Fritz is mistaken for a bathroom attendant, and he decides to go along with it.
• "Mike check. Mike check. Mike Wazowski takes checks."
• Sulley awkwardly reading off index cards, and accidentally reading the last card after the first card so he ends his speech immediately after he started it.
• Tylor has to get rid of a cannister with both laugh and scream power that is about to explode. He decides to go to the bathroom and release the pressure inside a stall, completely destroying it. A guy washing his hands overhears the whole thing, and it's not hard to imagine what he was thinking.
  Tylor: [chuckling nervously] Don't go in there.

Setting the Table

• As Val and Tylor Pinky Swear, Val comments on how small his hands are. This clearly gets to Tylor, who during his dinner with Johnny, says apropos of nothing that his hands are normal size.
• Upon hearing that Fritz has a big announcement to give during his 40th anniversary at Monsters Inc., Duncan assumes it'll be that he's retiring and making him the leader of MIFT. Imagine his disappointment when the announcement is that he's cutting down to one Drooler Cooler a day.
• The Running Gag of George having his drinks taken.
• Tylor keeps changing clothes in the janitor's closet, and at one point interrupts Roze and a waiter making out.
• Tylor accidentally gets his lei caught on one of his horns when he returns to Johnny. He throws it away, and it flies right into a customer's mouth as he's eating.
• The waiter taking photos at Fritz's party asking for "silly ones." And in each one, Roze is in the same position every time.

Opening Doors

• Duncan suspects a saboteur is behind the faulty canisters and interrogates Smithy and Needleman.
  Duncan: Got anything to confess?
  Needleman: Well, I'm not a real orthodontist.
  Smithy: What? [feels his braces]
• Val keeps covering for Tylor's absence by saying that he'll be back from the bathroom any minute now. When Tylor finally arrives and talks about just coming from the bathroom, one of the workers (Ted Pauley, the many-eyed monster from the first movie) is clearly exasperated.
  Ted Pauley: Yes, we all understand you have a tiny bladder.
• Mike can't find sugar for his coffee and asks Roze what happened to it.
  Mike: Roze, did you take all the sugar?
  Roze: You think I have this figure from eating sugar?
  Mike: I'm not gonna answer that.

It's Coming from Inside the House

• Grandma Tuskman warns Bernard that the "stoop sale" sign will confuse people into thinking the stoop is for sale. Sure enough, two monsters ask to buy the stoop.
• Duncan's first Private Eye Monologue is interrupted when Smitty and Needleman come to take the lamp, along with the comb Duncan used to simulate window blinds.
  Duncan: My mood lighting!

Field of Screams

• Legendary Scareball player "Stubby" Lizzardo is the Scare Co. team's coach. Mike asks him to autograph his ball, but Lizzardo absentmindedly signs the top of his head instead and tells him to stay in school. Mike declares that he'll never wash his head again.
• Lizzardo spends most of the game unconscious, leading some to wonder if he's still alive. When Chet realizes this, he panics, saying "Oh, Chet, not again!"
  • At the very end of the episode, Lizzardo wakes up after the game has been over for hours and yells "Play ball!"
• When Fritz hits a home run, he takes the other's calls to "run home" literally and runs out of the field to his house, thinking he left the iron on.

Monsters in the Dark

• Duncan refuses Tylor's apology cookies, but reconsiders when he hears that his grandmother made them.
• Smitty complains that he's missing the bowl where he collects interesting boogers. It turns out to be the bowl Mike is using for the complaints.

Lights! Camera! Chaos!

• Continuing a Running Gag from the first movie, Mike is blocked by the I Scream, U Scream logo.
• When Jill overhears about the sabotaged canisters, Mike once again passes it off as being about the next company play. He asks Sulley to explain, but Sulley boomerangs the ruse back to Mike by asking him to perform his big solo dance number.

Descent Into Fear

• Tylor drives to Fear Co. on his new company car, and hands the keys to the valet. He compliments Johnny for the valet service... only for Johnny to tell him they don't have one. Cut to the "valet" speeding off yelling "Free car!"
• Once again, Mike is hopped up on energy drinks when the laugh floor has to go overtime.

Powerless

• Roz gives Mike a lot of paperwork in order to fully shut down Monster's Inc. She then wink's at him while saying the word, leaving Mike and Sulley confused. They then realize that she was buying them time.
• Duncan tells Declan that the former's mother says the only one allowed to have facial hair... is she.
• During the epilogue, Mike refuses to pull Skylar's finger and says "Fool me once...". Sully says Skylar actually fooled Mike twice.
  • Just before the camera cuts away, you can see Smitty about to pull the finger.
• Duncan tries to interfere with Roz announcing that they'll be looking for Randall at the end all while he is being pulled away. Roz has to state that he is not affiliated with them.
• Roger not minding losing a tooth while working on the scream extractor.
  Roger: There goes my wisdom tooth. Goodbye, toothy. Thank you for your service.
• Fritz as "Frankie Rigatoni." He stays in character all the way to the end, when Cutter snaps him out of it with "And... cut!"

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