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troperville

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tools

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toys

• This exchange between the landlady and Zuri in "The Talented Mr. Kipling":
  Landlady: You people have a vicious, cold-blooded reptile living in this building?.
  Zuri: Why not? You live here.
  • Same episode:
  Jessie: All my boyfriends have to be at least 18. *looks at Mr. Kipling* And human.
  Emma: So Luke, you're 0 for 2.
• When Ravi gets a mystical eyeball app on his computer:
  Ravi: Bertram, we have terrible news!
  Bertram: Your parents are having another kid?
  Ravi: No. You are going to get hurt doing the splits, choke on stuffing, and then get carried away by a dark, shadowy figure at 6:22 tomorrow!
  Bertram: You figured all that out by asking yes or no questions?
  Zuri: We asked a lot of questions.
  Bertram: Well, I have a prediction. An incredibly handsome man will tap-dance out of the kitchen! *tap dances out of kitchen and does a tongue expression*
  • Later in the same ep:
  Bertram: I'm not going to get hurt doing the splits. *slips on a banana peel, then lands in a split pose* Ow!
  Ravi: It said he would get hurt doing the splits, and he is doing the splits! (beat)
  Zuri: And he was eating a banana split!
  Ravi: A double split!
  Bertram: Meanwhile, I'm splitting my pants!
  Ravi and Zuri: A TRIPLE SPLIT!
  • And at the end of the ep:
  Ravi: I guess a 3 dollar computer application cannot hold the answer to all of life's mysteries.
  Jessie: Yeah. *beat* Those cost 4.99!
  • One of Creepy Connie's voice mails:
  Connie: Hey Luke! It's nanny Jessie! Yip-pi-ee kai-yay... ok fine, it's Connie.
• When Jessie freaks out on the subway:
  Emma: People are staring. And in New York, that's saying something.
• When Jessie is making a film for her friend Darla:
  Mrs. Chesterfield: Marla! Your friend is a terrible nanny! She couldn't take care of a bowl of sea monkeys.
  Jessie: Hey! I'll have you know that all of my sea monkeys died of natural causes! (beat) ...And a thirsty cat.
• From "Used Karma" cue Zuri escorting Luke into the screening room.
  Zuri: The Great Ravi will see you now.
  Ravi: Luke. I have been expecting you.
  Luke: What is all this?
  Ravi: You have just entered my lair.
  Luke: Dude, it's the screening room.
  Ravi: True, but it doubles as my lair.
  Luke: Okay, isn't a lair usually underground-
  Ravi: I TELL YOU, IT IS A LAIR!
  Zuri: (whispers to Luke) Just go with it.
  Luke: Not the point. I need your help with my bad karma.
  Ravi: I will help you, but first... admit to me this is a lair.
• This line from "The Princess and the Pea Brain":
  Brody: How did you ever get to be a butler?
  Bertram: Well, I wanted to be an obnoxious rich kid, but the job was filled.