Funny / Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

  • "Bannon Custody Case":
    • "I'm taking the boys, Benton! And there's not a damn thing you can do about it! (storms out, but comes back in) Forgot my keys."
    • "I owe Dr. Quest very much big time." After saying it multiple times, Harvey cuts him off: "Drink your juice box."
    • "Avenger! My personal digital assistant! (quietly) Uh, how do you make a "T" again? Do you push it and leave it down, or...?"
    • Dr. Benton Quest on the stand:
    Harvey: Dr. Quest, tell us a little about your relationship?
    Dr. Quest: Well, Race and I met one night-
    Harvey: (gritting teeth) With your boys.
    Dr. Quest: Oh, heh, right!
    • The bartender giving the Quest boys scotch:
    Harvey: They're eleven.
    Bartender: Riiiiiight. (drops a couple cherries into their drinks)
  • Just about everything said by Phil Ken Sebben, but this conversation from "Shoyu Weenie" is probably the best, as Phil tries to get Harvey to do a "trust fall":
    Phil: Good. Now, close your eyes and fall back. I'm right behind you.
    (Harvey looks behind him to see the open window of his top-floor office, and Phil directly to the right.)
    Harvey: When I was in high school, we did a "trust fall" in aerobics class and dropped the first girl.
    Phil: That's it. Let me cradle you.
    Harvey: She landed flat on her back.
    Phil: Did you ever know're my hero?
    Harvey: And then everyone started laughing because she was fat.
    • And then Phil walks out the window.
      • "Hey lady, I need a yank." HA HA! Dislocation.
    • HA HA HA! Final episode stunt casting!
    • "S&Ls are unkillable! Ever see It's A Wonderful Life? Even that Bailey bastard couldn't screw it up!"
  • Peanut's explanation (in Japanese) that it's considered customary in American culture to blow something up once a business deal has concluded. And then he fires a bazooka at Phil, leading to the above-mentioned dislocation.
  • The episode "The Devlin Made Me Do It", through and through, comedy gold. Especially Devlin's constant crashes and amusing injuries.
    • Also of note, the And Knowing Is Half the Battle message on one of Devlin's tapes that Harvey was using for evidence is ruined by Devlin himself pointing out how riding without a helmet (the exact thing the PSA is trying to tell kids not to do) is cool, talking about using a condom and hitting on the his sister Sandy.... which leads to Harvey frantically trying to stop the tape while blocking the screen.
    • Devlin's how-to tapes, culminating with "How to Jump Over a Ravine On a Bicycle Comma Bobby".
    • Bobby, the kid who got injured imitating Devlin, has some really hilarious moments too due to the sheer amount of crap he's put through, such as his lawyer Freezoid accidentally leaving him in the middle of the street while talking to Birdman, causing him to get hit by a truck, and Birdman tipping over Bobby's wheelchair because Peanut told him he saw Bobby scratching his nose so he must be faking his injuries.
    Harvey: You saw him scratch his nose?!
    • Devlin constantly stuffing his face with various anti-pain pills. He's pretty loopy most of the time.
    Devlin: *stuffs a fistful of pills into his mouth* I'M GONNA WIN!!
    • The original stunt that put Bobby in the hospital, he rode his bike down a playground slide while imagining Devlin doing a similar ramp stunt.
    *Devlin successfully completes his stunt*
    Audience: YAY!!!
    *Bobby crashes his bike right into a ravine*
    Playground Kids: YAY!!
    Fat kid: Loser!
    • Devlin keeps revving his motorbike engine while on the witness stand and cutting off Freezoid who's trying to question him.
      Freezoid: I'll freeze your ass! Do you hear me? Dead!
    • Apparently Devlin and Phil are already acquainted. Unfortunately Devlin doesn't have much of a long-term memory anymore.
    Phil By the way Birdman, you're fi- Ernie Devlin?!
    Devlin: Who?
    Phil: Its me, Phil! *Devlin stares* Ken! *stare* Seb! *stare* ...Ben *Devlin is now asleep* Phil...
    Harvey: I didn't know you knew each other?
    Phil: Yeah yeah, from my time at the carnival
    Harvey: *whispering to Peanut* Bearded lady.
    • Aunt Phyllis?
  • "Peanut Puberty" gives another great Phil moment during his obedience training with Doggie Daddy; one of the last scenes shown is Phil humping Doggie for no reason, while Doggie looks away disinterested. Complete with squeaking noises.
    • Not to mention how ridiculous the A-plot's premise is; Peanut has reached the age where his powers are starting to manifest (which is played exactly like going through puberty) and is undergoing the combined hell of sexual maturity and superpowers, to the point where he's experiencing Power Incontinence. Harvey ends up asking X The Elminator to be Peanut's "first villain", which X agrees to in return for Harvey's crest. The whole thing becomes moot after Peanut gets The Talk from Black Vulcan and hooks up with his first villain on his own.
  • "SPF" in its entirety.
    Phil(with like 30 cigarettes stuffed in his mouth): WHO'S STRONGER, BIRDMAN?! THE ADDICTION OR YOU?! HA HA! Did that one go out? The one on the edge?
    • Peanut acting as Harvey's dealer selling him the tanning lotion for ridiculous prizes. Apparently it never occured to Harvey that you can just buy tanning lotion in stores.
      • Eventually, even PEANUT thinks Harvey might be hitting the lotion a little too hard.
  • "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe, and from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird! Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be! Cookies on dowels... All those moments lost in time; gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die..." *janitor stuffs Phil clone into a woodchipper*
  • When Reducto has one of the members of Shoyu Weenie on the stand, she answers his question in a slow, breathy voice in Japanese. Pretty much every man in the courtroom turns to her with a shocked and/or aroused look on their faces and dropped jaws, including a guy carving a wood statue with a chainsaw and a clown making a balloon animal. It helps that the translation of what she was saying is roughly "My name is Seiko, I like that song, it's a pretty song."
    • A Shout-Out to "Je T'aime... moi non plus".
  • Birdgirl's secret identity revealed:
    Phil: Judy! You're Birdgirl?!
    Every single person in the crowd: YES!
  • The Teaser for "Shaggy Busted", where a (live-action) cop pulls over Shaggy and Scooby.
    • Peanut, to Daphne: "Oooh, sprechen sie sexy."
    • When Avenger hears that Birdman wants to hire an assistant, he flies into his cage, dejected.
    Birdman: (notices) What? Ohhh. (tries to pet Avenger) Come on, it's just an assistant. (Avenger backs away) Not a partner, like you. (Avenger lets Birdman pet him) Who's my eagle? (slams cage and speed walks out, shutting off the lights) Night!
  • The live-action interrogation clip from "Death by Chocolate", where a pair of cops get aggressive at a man in a Boo-Boo costume.
  • In "SPF", Harvey gets paranoid of the sun and wears protective coverings, telling Peanut that the sun can kill him. Peanut responds by quoting a parody of the NRA slogan "People with suns kill people" whilst polishing a gun pointing right at him.
    • The cut to an old 1960s clip of Birdman receiving his powers from the sunlight, which delves into an orgasmic reaction.
    • Harvey complaining about Potamus parking his blimp/arc across two spaces, followed by him shouting "Hippo!" at Potamus, after which a sex doll pokes out of his trunk.
    • Harveys increasingly desperate addiction to tanning cream after he cuts himself off from sunlight, and Peanut exploiting the crap out of him like a drug dealer, until the addiction finally reaches a point where Peanut tells him that he should probably slow down a little.
  • Mentok's battle with Shado the Brain Thief in "Harvey's Civvy." During the trial, Mentok gets so fed up with Shado's ripoff of his power, that they veer off into a sort of wizard's duel, trying to out-do each other. This troper lost it when Mentok began making the stone-faced security guard do a Russian dance.
    • Shado uses his powers to garner the jury's sympathy. When he continues even after Mentok tells him to stop, the following exchange occurs.
    Mentok: What did I say?! How dare you defy me, Mentok!
    (Shadow uses his powers)
    Mentok: The mind toker! (realizes what he said was wrong) I mean, Mentok!
    (Shadow uses his powers again)
    Mentok: ...The MILF Spunker-*claps hand across mouth*
    • And then they start affecting locations outside the courtroom- Shado has a marching band at a sporting event spell his name out, Mentok has an electronic highway sign say "MENTOK FREAKIN RULZ", Shado's face appears on Mount Rushmore (with the Bear pointing at it), Mentok's face appears on the surface of Mars- at which point, Mentok stops due to sheer exhaustion (with the courtroom now a scene of chaos- half an elephant embedded in the wall, the jury is now entirely Canadian Mounties) and he and Shado head out for drinks.
    • The best part about that scene is that while they're trying to out-do each other, "Dueling Banjos" is playing in the background.
    • Also, the fact that Shado's voice is Toby Huss doing a slight variant on his voice for Artie, The Strongest Man in the World.
  • "Blackwatch Plaid," fullstop—the episode where Secret Squirrel is being sued for flashing. Half due to the hilarious use of the character Secret Squirrel, and half due to Phil Sebben's hidden camera footage showing Harvey and his co-workers in live action (including footage of live-action Harvey frolicking around Atlanta and the Turner Mansion's front lawn), and climaxing with the combination of these two plot lines.
  • Identity Theft: The Deadly Duplicator starts copying people in the courtroom. Once he makes 4 Mentoks, one of them shouts "Finally!" and they immediately form a barbershop quartet.
  • The entirety of "A Very Personal Injury", where Apache Chief has had a hot cup of coffee spilled on him after saving the Earth from an errant asteroid. In particular, the Running Gag where they tenderly discuss the nature of his injury, and how it's never made clear whether the issue is that he can no longer be large or that he can no longer be large. The Reveal that the waitress at the diner he was at is in fact a beautiful Indian Maiden leads immediately to him increasing in size abruptly, which only serves to confuse the matter further.
    • Its even better when everyone in the court room starts pointing at him when he grows.
    • Black Vulcan also gets called to the stand, and goes on a rant about the stereotyping the Justice League forces on heroes like him and Apache Chief.
    Black Vulcan: You think I named MYSELF Black Vulcan?? Hell no! I used to go by Supervolt. But then Aquaman came in with that "Black Vulcan" crap! So I said "Well maybe we should just call you White Fish!"
  • Dr Reducto is a virtual fountain of these, especially him freaking out when he tries shrinking Grape Ape and Grape Ape just pumps himself back to normal size again.
    Reducto: *running around screaming* I HAVE MET THE UNSHRINKABLE!!
    • His reaction to meeting Inch High, Private Eye? Some kind of weird obsession due to Inch being "so perfectly miniature" that Reducto doesn't know if he should destroy him or love him.
    Reducto: I hate him! *Harvey slaps him* I love him! *slap* I hate him! *slap* I love him! *slap* I hate him AND love him!! *starts to tear up*
    • After encountering Atom Ant, Reducto goes insane, and tries to form an alliance with Inch to destroy him, because he's smaller than either of them. Inch, who doesn't have Reducto's bizarre obsession, doesn't really understand the problem.
    • One episode revolves around Reducto falling in love with a rather large-bottomed woman, and undergoing a crisis of identity because of it.
  • Harvey being called to defend Mentok after Mentok is accused of imprisoning a genie centuries ago. Harvey is busy taking Avenger to the vet, so Mentok tells him to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Mentok" about it.
    Harvey: Oh, I'm great at this game!
    Mentok: Rock, paper, scissors, Mentok. I win, get over here.
    Harvey: DAMNIT!
  • A minor one from the episode involving The Jetsons: After George boldly declares that he and his family come from the magnificent far-off year of 2002, Harvey glances at his calendar... which is for 2004.
    • And of course there's the Jetson family struggling to reach Birdman's desk without conveyor belts, and taking all day to crawl a few feet.
    • The reason the Jetsons are in the past? They want to sue the present day for causing global warming in the future. Turns out that the reason they all live on those poles is because of massive flooding.
    • Oh, and the real kicker - Harvey is actually George's ancestor. When Harvey takes this as a sign that he will finally get laid at some point, George just states that "there are other ways".
    • Also, Phil believes the Jetsons are The Greys and are out to anally probe him.
  • "The Dabba Don", while Fred Flintstone is on trial:
    Pterosaur: (on witness stand) The guy's a pig, a neanderthal.
    Fred Flintstone: You're DEAD to me, can opener!
    • Harvey just doesn't seem to grasp the whole "mobster" thing, so he keeps waking up with the heads of different cartoon characters in his bed, including Quickdraw Mc Graw, Western Animation/Jabberjaw and The Gleep.
    Harvey: AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Ew, Gleep juice! ...or is that Gloop?
    • Peanut keeps trying to suck up to Freddy, hoping to be accepted into the mob.
    • When Fred is found not guilty, everyone goes to the bar to celebrate:
    Thundarr: There he is! C'mere, you. (kisses Harvey on the mouth) Mwah! (kisses him a second time, deeper)
    Harvey: Wow, that's a man kiss.
    • The ending, which is a parody of the climax to The Godfather, which shows Mr Slate being forced to sign over the quarry, the bird can opener being assassinated, and Pebbles baptism.
  • The people from Hoot n Holler, the setting of the cartoon Ricochet Rabbit, keeps shooting into the air and yelling whenever anyone says the name of the town. Eventually, Harvey just starts avoiding saying the name.
  • The entirety of the Sebben & Sebben Orientation Video:
    Phil Ken Sebben: (Dressed up on stage performing Hamlet) To die... to sleep... to sleep, perchance to dream; aye, there's the rub... Ha ha... rub! For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come... must give us pause... make us bear those... uh, I've forgotten. Huh... I know I'm depressed about something. Uh-ba-da-da... mother: dead.... no, father dead. Mother alive. Kind of a sexy thing with the mom. Uncle: probably killed my father. Girlfriend: crazy as a loon. Her father's a chatterbox. I killed him... ah, this is all too complicated.
    Audience: cheers with thunderous applause.
    • The part about the sexual harrassment policy, starring Peanut and two female employees. The video shows two IDENTICAL scenarios, the only difference is that in the "correct" one, Peanut has unplugged the security camera, so no record exists of his skeevy behavior.
    • At one point, the video goes off on a tangent about how in addition to all their other projects, Sebben & Sebben is also moving into world domination (apparently).
    • The above quote from Phil about "S&Ls being unkillable".
    • Also, Phil's introduced counting money aboard a private jet; an explosion occurs, he hits a button, and slides into the cockpit as the jet's suddenly in the middle of a war-zone; he gets hit by something and starts calling mayday before they transition to the next scene.
  • One episode has Avenger quit his secretary job (Harvey didnt actually pay him), and starts working for Harvey's rival Volturo. The replacements Ken gets for Harvey don't really work out very well. First he gives him a Finch (he's too small to work the typewriter and doesn't understand English), then a penguin (kept turning down the thermostate to freezing), an Emu (it's terrifying), and finally a parrot (which also leaves Harvey for Volturo).
    • Also what was Harvey's reaction when Phil enters with said parrot? note