- The Cluster Bleep Bomb as a funny background event.
- Bob Barker and Happy's brawl: from 1:30 to 2:52
- "THE PRICE IS WRONG, BITCH!"
- Made even funnier when you find out Bob was originally going to deny the cameo until he was told he would win the fight.
- The following:
Shooter: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!Happy: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?Shooter: [long pause] No!
- The guy constantly calling Happy a "Jackass".
- "Wait! You no want breakfast?!"
- "You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!"
- Happy tries to putt the ball into the clown's mouth on the miniature golf course, and every time he fails, the clown laughs at him. Eventually, he succeeds, only for the clown to cough the ball back up and laugh at him.
- "YER GONNA DIE CLOWN!!"
- "Grizzly Adams did have a beard."
- Happy's "gift" for Chubbs:
Happy: Remember the gator that got your hand? I got his head. "(Cue dramatic zoom in on gator's head accompanied by dramatic music.)Chubbs: (screams and falls backwards out of a window)Lee Trevino: *Looks up at Happy while shaking his head*
- Happy shaking hands with Chubbs prosthetic hand at his funeral.
- For some reason, Happy's Happy Place includes a midget dressed like a cowboy.
- "You son of a bitch ball — why don't you just go home?! That's your home! Are you too good for your home?! ANSWER ME!"
- "SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!!"
- Shooter's first meeting with Mr. Larson:
Mr. Larson: Trying to reach the green from here, Shooter?Shooter: That's not possible, sir.Mr. Larson: I beg to differ; Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat, no more than an hour ago.Shooter: Well, MORON...(turns around) good for Happy (sees that Larson is over 7 ft tall and has a nail in his head) GilmOHMYGOD!!
Mr. Larson: Hey Shooter! Haven't you forgotten your 9-iron?!
- And soon after that, Mr Larson decides to bend Shooter's 9-iron for intimidation. After teeing off, Shooter exits as fast as he can without running.
Mr. Larson: I believe that's Mr. Gilmore's jacket!(Mr. Larson, and the rest of the crowd, runs after Shooter and proceed to beat the crap out of him.)Mr. Larson: "I will get you, Shooter!" (Shooter screams in horror as heavy punches begin landing) "STAY STILL!"
- Then after that, when Happy wins the tournament, Shooter runs off with the jacket.
- Happy's unimpressed response to Shooter's threats:
Shooter: Just stay out of my way... or you'll pay! LISTEN to what I say!Happy: (mockingly) Why don't I just go eat some hay? I could make things out of clay, or lay by the bay! I just may! What'd ya say?
- The pan down to the ice rink manager lip-syncing to "Endless Love."
- Happy's bet with Virginia at the ice rink. She makes the shot that'd mean he would have to leave her alone. Before she makes it a heartwarming moment, the look on his face just says "You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!".
- Chubbs needles Happy for showing up to a game in a jersey and baggy clothes, only for Happy to gesture to the other golfers and reply with this golden line:
Happy: Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass.
- A sneaky-good line by announcer Verne Lundquist when more Happy fans begin to populate the tour galleries:
Verne: Quite a large and economically-diverse crowd here at the Michelob Invitational.