Funny / Futurama Season 5

Bender's Big Score

• The whole extended joke about the "Box Network" renewing their contract that keeps piling on more layers of Take That!.
  • That, and the "Torgo Executive Powder" being used throughout the movie.
  • Note that the Planet Express Crew become visibly uncomfortable when Farnsworth tells them the incompetents who cancelled their license were beaten very badly for it and that Bender is the only one laughing when Farnsworth adds that most of them died from their injuries.
• How the scammers get Bender's details in the first place:
  Nudar: Sir, would you sign our petition?
  Bender: Ehh, I support and oppose many things, but none of them strongly enough to pick up a pen.
  Nudar: Right, that's just what the guys who support the things you oppose want you to do.
  Bender: Really? Down with those guys! (he angrily signs their forms)
• The bit where Elzar uses a spice weasel with heart-shaped nostrils and then offers to make it eject spice in a star shape (because of the shape of its other end). Leela and Lars quickly refuse.
• The scene of Bender destroying New York after being attacked by Sweden.
• "I can wire anything directly into anything! I'm The Professor!" (dramatic pose)
• Hermes: That body was the cornerstone of my marriage! What's LaBarbara gonna do?
  Amy: Spluh, she's gonna go back to her first husband.
  Zoidberg: Barbados Slim? I LOVE that guy!
  Hermes: Everyone loves Slim. He's the only man to win Olympic gold medals in both limbo AND sex!
• Later in the movie:
  Barbados Slim: You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now, goodbye forever!
• "This Trinity's Goin' to War", on top of being a piece of Awesome Music, doubles as a hilarious moment due to the elves' Amusing Injuries.
• Early on, Leela berates Fry on being immature. Fry, immediately after mumbling "I'll show her who's immature.", proceeds to mess around with Charles DeGaulle's head in a jar.
  Fry: (in a terrible French accent) Hey, Leeluhre, I'm some French ga-iee !
• An alien bartender uses Fry's "pen" to sign a delivery form.
• When Leela and Bender notice the tattoo of Bender on Fry's ass, Farnsworth isn't impressed and walks away... revealing a "THUG LIFE" tattoo on his back, complete with hip-hop beat.
• This gem from when the Professor is selling doomsday weapons to Hedonismbot.
  Farnsworth: Sir! The sphere-o-boom is not for sale. It's my sentimental favorite.
  Hedonismbot: No need to explain. I too have known...unconventional love. Perhaps you and I — and Jambi — could get together and compare notes sometime, eh?
  (The Professor blushes and chuckles)
• After (apparently) killing Fry, Bender returns to the 31st century and tells all, still bereaved. Amy tries consoling him.
  Amy: Don't blame yourself, Bender.
  Bender: I don't blame myself! I blame all of you!
  Amy: Us? How can you possibly think of blaming us?
  Bender: It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.
• Bender bragging about his killing of Fry through his obvious grief. He notably keeps doing this even after the Nudars remove his obedience software.
  Bender: It took twelve years of tireless stalking, but I hunted down and killed my best friend! (sobbing) Ahhhhh, I'm the greatest!
  Bender: Struggling alone against incredible odds, I, Bender, managed to kill him! (crying) I blew him to mush like a midget in a microwave!
  • After a legitimately heartwarming reunion between Bender and the not-dead Fry:
    Bender: Well, I'm glad you're alive, but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent so I better kill you again. (pulls a croquet mallet out of his chest compartment) Hold still.
    Farnsworth: Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
• Bender's reaction to Fry's reappearance is a full-body leap into his arms. A very confused Fry topples over, unable to sustain the weight.
• Bender time travels to Egypt:
  Bender: Scarab forearm bird bird bird!
  Subtitles: Drop the sarcophagus!
• Zoidberg glues Hermes head back on his body...backwards.
  Hermes: You incompetent crab!
  Zoidberg: I thought you were happy, your tail is wagging.
  Hermes: Grrrrrr....
  (Zoidberg makes an "Oh, Crap!" face)
  (cut to exterior of Zoidberg's office. Zoidberg rushes out whooping, with an angry Hermes somehow running backwards after him)
• The handwave of how Nudar survives a doomsday device to the face:
  Nudar: My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation! In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, but you know us nudists...
• Meaningful Name gets a great subversion:
  Fry: Can you save Hermes, Doctor Goodandsexy?
  Attractive Female Doctor: I told you, my name is Doctor Cahill.
• Hypnotoad doesn't take it well when his show is interrupted:
  Announcer: We interrupt this program for a special announcement! (Hypnotoad glares off-camera) Please, Hypnotoad! It's beyond my control! No, don't make me kill myself!

The Beast with a Billion Backs

• Bender's Deal with the Devil: Bender is seeking an Army of the Damned to Take Over the World, and is asked to sacrifice his first-born son. He heads off and sees his son playing ball. Emotional music swells, the kid sees him and cries "Daddy! I knew you'd come back!" Cue Bender walking back into Robot-Hell with the child over his shoulder, saying "Here ya go!" and punting it into a pit of lava. The whole joke starts and ends in about 20 seconds, but is hilarious. The best part?
  Robot Devil: Wow. That was pretty brutal, even by my standards!
  Bender: No backsies.
• Also:
  Hermes: Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain! How scared should we be?
  Farnsworth: Somewhere between 'not at all' and 'entirely'.
  Zoidberg: I call entirely! [freaks out]
• Bender: I feel awed, and strangely humbled by the solemnity of this momentous occasion. (few seconds later) Hey, other universe, bite my shiny metal- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! (his butt makes contact with the rip, cause it to react violently, sending the ship flying while shitting bricks)
• The first argument between Farnsworth and Wernstrom:
  Professor: Don't listen to that crackpot!
  Wernstrom: But I'm agreeing with you!
  Professor: I'll make you eat those words, you moron!
  • How does the fight end? Professor Stephen Hawking zaps them with eyebeams.
  Stephen Hawking: I didn't know I could do that... (To Farnsworth and Wernstrom) Now, quite down and settle this like men of science.
  Farnsworth: Very well.
  (Cut to outside a stadium in New York)
  Farnsworth: LET DEATHBALL BEGIN!
• "And thus, Metal Man defeated Meat Man. The End!"
• Farnsworth is on the phone with Wernstrom:
  Farnsworth: Hermes! Hang up on him in the rudest manner possible!
  Hermes: [pulls down his trousers, grabs the phone between his ass cheeks, and raises it.]
  Wernstrom: NO! Not the crack slam!
• MY LEG FEELS FUNNY!
  • Don't forget: "MY LEG FEELS BETTER!"
• WHACK THE BOTTLE!
• And the League of Robots chanting like college freshmen: "DRINK THE FLAGON! DRINK THE FLAGON!"
  • Bender comparing the League of Robots initiation to med school.
  • The moment Bender catches on to the initiation ceremony's repetition.
  Bender: Wait a second... are all the tests gonna involve drinking in some way?
  Calculon: It never really occurred to me before, but... yes!
• The Enema Bot, equipped with a rubber glove, a douche, a syringe, a thermometer, and a gasoline nozzle with which to dispense enemas of hot coffee. Fry orders one to go, and gets a cup with a long nozzle affixed to the top.
  Warning: the enema you are about to enjoy is extremely hot.
• The Grand Midwife returns from "Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch" as the Grand Priestess. "And the Grand Lucnhlady. I work five jobs, all Grand." Later in the movie, she returns as the Grand Funeral Director. And later episodes reveal that she's the Grand Butterfly Curator.
  • One of her best lines during Kif and Amy's Fon-Fon-Rubok ceremony: "You may now eat the snake-". Kif and Amy both take bites out of the two-headed snake she hands them. "-if you so choose. It's not part of the ceremony, I just had an extra snake".
• After Bender decides he's going to stalk Calculon:
  Calculon: [after noticing that Bender's in his bed] ... Who are you?
  Bender: Bender. Your biggest fan.
  Calculon: Are you going to murder me?
  Bender: Mm... Unlikely. In my mind we're friends! This diorama proves it, see?
  (Bender removes a crude diorama of him and Calculon playing tennis)
  Calculon: Sir, your derangement is impressive. (shaking Bender's hand) I'm appointing you my official stalker.
  Bender: You shan't be disappointed. Pleasant dreams.
  (Lights go off)
  (Bender's eyes telescope out to stare at Calculon's face from an inch away, and even closer when Calculon notices it.)
• Everything about Kif's death and funeral is pure Black Comedy, but the crowner has to be when some of Kif's blood ends up on Zapp's sandwich. Zapp eats it without realizing it, and loves it.
• This exchange when Bender sees Amy crying:
  Bender: What's her problem? Somebody died or somethin'?
  Leela: Kif's dead, Bender.
  Bender: [fist pumps] Nailed it!
• During Amy and Kif's Fonfon Rubok, Inez Wong accidentally squashes one of the flies that make up Kif's father. We then get this exchange:
  Kif's Father: Welcome.
  Inez: Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare, though, huh?
  Kif's Father: That was my left testicle.
  Bender: And the awkward-meter goes up another notch! Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
• The Steamboat Willie parody from the opening.
• Leela visiting Farnsworth and Wernstrom in prison to give them a Smelloscope disguised as a cake.
• Wernstrom illustrates that machines can't go through the anomaly using a tiny robot that says "Playtime is funtime." Wernstrom smugly says "Not this time" before throwing him through the portal and destroying him. Farnsworth then agrees that they do something about the discovery...right after they blow up more robots. Cue Farnsworth and Wernstrom throwing more tiny robots through the portal and Farnsworth saying "Playtime is funtime."
• A casual sight gag shows a Stegosaurus lazily grazing on the White House lawn.
• "It appears Bender hates humans in the same way I hate having my nipples rubbed with industrial sandpaper!" - Hedonismbot (who doesn't have nipples) when the League of Robots finds out that Bender is hiding humans in Destructor's leg.
• This when Bender is trying to get Fry to watch All My Circuits with him:
  Bender: Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on! Humans like cabbage, right?
• When the tentacles start to invade, the Planet Express crew quickly board the ship and make a dramatic escape to swelling movie music, only for the ship to smash itself completely flat against the new protective dome around the earth as the music abruptly cuts out.
• Farnsworth's deadpan reaction to the tentacle-possessed Fry's speech to humanity:
  Fry: Silence! I have traveled far and seen deep, and I have come to know the purpose of our existence!
  Randy: Finally!
  Fry: THOU SHALT LOVE THE TENTACLE!
  [Scare Chord]
  Farnsworth: Well, at least we don't have to love one another.
• Bender's total non-reaction to Fry's new role as tentacle-puppeted pope of a worldwide cult:
  Bender: Weren't you already pope of something?
• The Professor and Wernstrom try to get Nixon's head to scientifically investigate the anomaly, but their appeal based on the moon landings fall on deaf ears (and we learn some interest facts).
  Nixon's Head: I always regretted that mission. Nothing up there by dry rocks and those revolting onion men! (shudders in horror)

Bender's Game

• A subtle one, but at the start of the movie, the kids are playing Dungeons & Dragons with the classic dice, pen and paper setup and game screen, even though it's the 30th century with significantly advanced technology being commonplace.
• "Show me on this anatomically correct doll exactly where Bender touched you." Farnsworth to Fry, while his brain is switched with a monkey's.
• Bender's D&D identity, Titanius Anglesmith, pretty much translates to "metal bender", showing that even in his insanity, Bender's ego still shines through.
• Part of Bender's Game involves Bender in a mental institution for robots (again). There's one absolutely hilarious moment when another robot is smashed to pieces and Rosie, the robot maid from The Jetsons, starts cleaning it up and mutters to herself:

  Rosie: Everything must be clean, very clean. That's why the dog had to die, it was a very dirty dog. Also that boy Elroy. Dirty, dirty.

  • Doubles as horror, especially if one was a fan of The Jetsons.
  • Roberto is back in the asylum, and gives this explanation for his insanity:
  Roberto: I was built by a team of engineers tryin' to create a criminally insane robot. But it seems...they failed!
  Vending Robot: Umm...actually... [Roberto shanks him.]
  • Also in the Asylum, Mad Hatterbot has the group "CHANGE PLACES!" Then Bender starts pretending to be "Titanius Anglesmith" (his D&D character), again...
    Dr. Perceptron: You are suffering a breakdown. Now stop. Hammer time. [a hammer comes downs and destroys his glass head] I am in your seat. I forgot we had changed places... [falls over]
    Mad Hatterbot: CHANGE PLACES!? [robots start running around and trampling Dr. Perceptron]
• "The big fecal enchilada!" It Makes Sense in Context, and that's what makes it so funny!.
• "We're owl exterminators!"
• The part where the crew takes a shower together, and Leela is still ticked off after being insulted by rednecks and vouches to join the demolition derby to get back at them. Fry protests:
  Leela: But we have no choice. Rednecks insulted us!
  Fry: So? Let it go. Don't let your temper get the better of...
  Leela: [Grabbing Fry and shaking him senseless.] RRREEDNNNECKS!
• This exchange:
  Leela: Is that a hobbit?
  Bender: No, it's a hobo and a rabbit, but they're making a hobbit.
• Bender's completely deadpan reaction to seeing a massive army about to storm Wipe Castle: "Me thinks we be boned".
  • "Eat the wizard! Eat the slut! Eat the robot's shiny butt!"
• Professor Farnsworth, when confronting Mom's sons, says that just knowing they are in the same genus makes him embarrassed to call himself "homo". Cue Cubert, Dwight, and their friends laughing at what Farnsworth said.
• Leela/Leegola's bout of Hypocritical Humor during her Heroic BSoD.
  Zoidberg: Ohhh. So, suddenly, Miss Goody-Four-Shoes over here doesn't want to kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago. What am I, chopped liver?
  Leegola: Shut up! (slashes him)
  Zoidberg: Ow! Stop chopping my liver!
  Leegola: (to Fry) You're on your own! I refuse to hurt another living thing! (tosses away her sword, which decapitates Zoidberg)
• Mom slapping herself for being stupid.
• Leegola and the other centaurs clopping their hooves to Riverdance while an annoyed Scruffy has to clean up their poop behind them.
• "That's not a magic bug, you dope! That's a magic arachnid!"
• Zoidberg explains the cause of Leela's anger problem to her:
  "Here's the problem! You seem to have a skull embedded in your head!"
• "The Scary Door" episode seen in the movie features aliens invading Earth and the day is saved by an unlikely hero...:
  Narrator: "In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus rex."
• When Fry runs off with the die, Greyfarb hopes he'll manage to succeed alone. Titanius is dubious.
  Greyfarb: We must hope that [Fry] presses on alone to the geysers.
  Titanius: I can hope my ass is made out of ice cream, but that don't make me a hot fudge sundae.
• After learning that the king of Wipe Castle is utterly nuts (because he's Roberto), Titanius takes charge:
  Titanius: As the only nobleman present who is not (makes silly noise), I hereby place myself in charge of the Royal Army!
  URL: What Royal Army would that be?
  Bender: Come again?
  Smitty: King went insane, declared war on the scallops. Tied the army to a boulder and pushed them into the sea. They never returned!
  URL: Scallops must'a got 'em. (Smitty nods in agreement)

Into the Wild Green Yonder

• Bender rates his chances in the poker tournament thanks to luck.
  Bender: I'm 40% luck! I was made out of the horseshoes of the luckiest horses in Mexico, before they were sent to a glue factory.
  Fanny: They don't sound so lucky to me.
  Bender: Not without their shoes.
• The manner in which Bender wins the poker tournament
  The massive head of Penn Jillette: I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Bender has been dealt the KING OF BEERS, a coaster which got mixed into the deck. BUT IT STILL COUNTS!
• Also the Tickle Me Bender!
  Tickle Me Bender: Heheheh, quit touching my junk, pervert!
• The Professor talking about how men enjoy things that are bigger.
  Leela: I still don't see why you men can't be happy with regular sized miniature golf.
  Farnsworth: Leela, evolution has programmed our fabulous male brains to take anything anybody else thinks is important and make it bigger. (starts drinking from a 128 oz. cup) Have you seen my new 301 inch TV? (turns on a giant TV showing Everybody Loves Hypnotoad)
  TV: Hypnotoad is brought to you by the MagnaPhallix three hundred two inch TV. It's bigger!
  Farnsworth: Aw HELL! (throws giant cup at the TV, breaking it)
• As Fry is reading mind after mind to find the Dark One, Snoop Dogg's thoughts: "Nakedladiesnakedladiesnakedladies..."
  • And Nixon's thoughts settling an age old debate:
  Nixon: No-one knows that I really did fake the Moon landing... ON VENUS!
• Fry attempting to use his new power to sneak into a Ladies' bathroom: "Hello ladies! I can read your thoughts!" He immediately gets thrown out. "Oh wait, that's invisibility."
• One of the extinct species brought back is striped^note Read: target marked biologist taunters. They never say how they died out, and they don't need to.
• As the Nimbus is hit by the King Kong animatronic trying to chase the Planet Express ship:
  Bender: [falls to the floor] Oh, my arms! They're broken! I'll never paint again! [starts sobbing]
  Kif: You can't sue the military.
  Bender: [immediately stops crying]: Oh. I'm okay then. [gets up]

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