- Craig answers the door to find a group of Jehovah's Witnesses, only to then slam the door in the middle of their pitch, leading to this response:
Jehovah's Witness: Well, fuck you! Half-dead motherfucker!
- Craig grabs some milk from the fridge to pour into his cereal, only to then find there's hardly anything in the carton.
- "You better put some water on that damn shit!" Said by Willie after Craig tries to throw away the cereal.
- Craig closing the fridge door to find his father, dressed for work and eating something, standing there before launching into a rant about how he always finds Craig in the kitchen eating up all the food.
Willie: I wanna eat some of them pig's feet!
- Willie asks to talk to Craig in the bathroom...while he's on the toilet. And Craig covering his nose while his dad does his business.
- Smokey: "I got mind control over Deebo. He be like 'Shut the fuck up,' and I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talkin' again."
- This exchange between Smokey and Deebo in a flashback:
Smokey: I won, now gimme my money!Deebo: Yo' what?!Smokey: (cowed) I lost.
- "YOU GOT KNOCKED DA FUCK OUT!"
- Stanley, the Joneses' next-door neighbor, telling Craig, Smokey, and Deebo to stay off his grass before turning to walk away, only to end up tripping over his lawn chair.
- Craig slipping an ice cube that fell onto the kitchen floor into his father's glass of water. And Willie not realizing what happened.
- Smokey closing the film by looking right at the camera, lighting a joint, and saying "AND YOU KNOW THIS, MAN!"
- Deebo and Tyrone fleeing from prison. In broad daylight. While STILL wearing their bright-orange prison jumpsuits. And absolutely NO ONE around them seems to notice.
- Deebo and Tyrone come to a stop next to a bicyclist at a train crossing. As a train rolls by, we hear the sounds of Deebo beating up the poor guy so he can steal his bike.
- And after that, he forces Tyrone to keep jogging beside him. While still chained by the ankle to him.
- Willie's rant after he comes out his house and sees Craig hasn't cut the grass.
Willie: I don't believe this. I told that hard-headed boy to put that hose away and cut that grass! Stanley's grass look good! But look at my grass—no! Look at that grass! When that boy get out my house, I'mma change my number!
- Willie falling on his ass in dog crap.
- Tyrone using a brick to try and break the chain keeping him and Deebo attached to one another, and wondering if "this the same brick Craig knock yo' ass out with?"
- Deebo and Tyrone block Willie and Craig as they drive off. Craig tells his dad to "Punch it!", Willie floors it, and Tyrone ends up on the hood of the truck.
- "Fake-ass Suge Knight!" Yelled by Craig at Tyrone as he and his dad drive off.
- After Craig and Willie drive off, a fed-up Tyrone tells Deebo he's going to "Mommy's house" and tries to walk off, only for Deebo to grab him and drag him off with him.
- Willie rambling about all the freaky things he's going to do with his wife once Craig's gone until Craig tells him to stop.
- Craig wonders what smells so awful in the truck (it's the dog crap on Willie's butt), and Willie replies "Must be your upper lip, son, 'cause I don't smell nothin'."
- Willie sprays some air freshener inside the truck, and Craig tries to roll down his window, only for Willie to tell him it's broken. All Craig can do is say "Oh, damn!" and continue jiggling the handle.
- Day-Day greets Craig warmly, but puts on a dour expression when he turns to Willie and greets him with an un-enthused "Hi, Uncle Willie."
- Elroy pushing Day-Day out the way as he comes out to greet Craig. He does it again after Day-Day agrees he would've shot Deebo rather than run from him.
- Elroy asking Willie "Still steppin' in that dog shit everyday?"
- Willie tells Elroy not to slam his car door, and Elroy just slams it anyway.
- The off-screen conversation between Day-Day and Elroy in which we hear Elroy accidentally wiped his ass with Day-Day's shirt.
- Day-Day getting pepper-sprayed by D'Wana, and Elroy sprays water on his face using a garden hose for a few moments, all the while Day-Day grunts and yells incoherently, before stopping and telling Day-Day he has nineteen more minutes to go.
- As Craig and Elroy head to the backyard, Day-Day is heard yelling "Call the police and tell 'em to get me another restrainin' order!"
- Elroy's response to Craig questioning him about his mostly empty but otherwise rundown pool.
Elroy: You don't need no water! Ain't no pools in the projects. None of us swim.
- Elroy remarking he and Suga get real nasty in the Jacuzzi...right before spotting a condom floating in said Jacuzzi.
- Deebo brings his stolen bike to an abrupt halt, causing Tyrone (who'd been riding on the handlebars this time around) to fall off.
- Before that, Tyrone making smooching noises at a random woman, and Deebo ordering him to stay focused.
- Willie coming out a public bathroom in a restaurant, making a relieved (and loud) sigh, and announcing he feels five pounds lighter. The other patrons cover their noses in disgust, to which he replies "What? Jealous?"
- He then diverts their attention to swipe some food as he heads off.
- Deebo gets Tyrone to make a phony phone call to Willie telling him Craig's in trouble, and he Dope Slaps Tyrone whenever he says something foolish. After Tyrone makes the call, he has this to say to Deebo:
Tyrone: You gonna stop hittin' me like that, man! I'll bust yo' ass like Craig did, knock your fuckin' eyes straight!
- Willie taking a whole bottle of hot sauce after a restaurant employee tells him "Get the fuck outta here!" And telling the employee "Kiss my ass!" as he heads off, and the employee tells him "don't take my hot sauce!"
- Craig is jogging back over to Elroy's house, unaware Cheeco, the Jokers' dog, is pursuing him on the Jokers' orders. After turning to see Cheeco at Day-Day's urging, he utters "Oh, shit!" and breaks into a full run across the street.
- Craig and Day-Day then climb onto the roof of Day-Day's BMW as Cheeco surrounds them, barking at them. Day-Day yells for Joker to call his dog, then orders Craig to get off his car.
- Day-Day begging Craig to get off his car. Craig's response?
Craig: Get down?! Man, shut up!
- Craig then takes off his belt and tries hitting Cheeco with it, all the while Day-Day says "You Uncle Willie's son! You know he don't play that shit!"
- Seeing Craig strike at their dog, Joker yells at Craig ("That's cruelty to animals! ... That's wrong, he did nothing to you!") while Baby Joker is seen weeping in Lil Joker's arms.
- Once Cheeco is gone, Day-Day gets off his car roof and orders Craig to get down. Craig, however, ends up falling on his ass on the roof. Day-Day is not pleased.
- Joker vowing revenge against Craig, before adding, as he swaggers back into his house, "fucker."
- Craig, Elroy, and Suga get high and pass out, and Suga ends up with her head in Craig's lap. Craig stirs and looks over to see Elroy glaring at him before asking "Negro, what the hell are you doin' to my woman?" and then asking Suga what she's doing. Suga sits up and replies she thought Craig was Elroy.
- Craig stays on the couch while Elroy and Suga head upstairs for "Mister Nasty Time." Moments later, we hear the sounds of the two having sex, all the while Craig goes "Whoo-wee! Yeah, Unc!"
- The white postal worker (played by Michael Rapaport) who delivers the delinquent property tax notice to the house.
- The exchange after the postal worker wonders if Craig's a basketball player.
Craig: I play for the Chocamunga Cracker Killers. You want tickets?Postal Worker: Hey, I don't want any trouble. You don't have to, uh, send your posse out here to do a 187 in my ass!
- As he heads off, the postal worker starts singing the Good Times theme song.
- Then he ends up getting chased by Cheeco ("OH, FUCK!").
- The exchange after the postal worker wonders if Craig's a basketball player.
- The scene where Craig tries to wake Elroy up.
- Roach skateboarding off the counter and falling on his back, and Day-Day warning him they'll both get fired for him doing his "X-Game shit."
- The angry African customer who calls Day-Day "that player-hater who sold me this shit."
- This exchange:
Angry African Customer: Do you know who you are fucking with?Day-Day: Bishop Tutu?Angry African Customer: TRY AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKA!Day-Day: Winnie Mandela's little cousin?Angry African Customer: TRY AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKA!Day-Day: Just an ugly-ass black dude.Angry African Customer: I'LL GO POSTAL ON THIS MOTHERFUCKA!
- Craig grabbing the customer and throwing him into a CD rack in retaliation for the customer pushing down another rack just as Craig walked in moments earlier (this is also an Awesome Moment). The customer then holds up a CD and rambles about how "I can get jiggy with this," only for Craig to tell him to get out. The customer then runs out, begging Craig not to hit him.
- This exchange:
- Day-Day fleeing from Baby D, all the while D'Wana shouts for Baby D to kick his ass.
- Day-Day being chased around by Baby D out in the parking lot, and Craig, Roach, and D'Wana just standing there and watching.
Craig: You better stop runnin' from that girl!Day-Day: (as he runs past Craig) FUCK YOU!!!
- Day-Day offers to set Baby D up with Craig in exchange for her giving up chasing him. But when he goes over to Craig and tells him what happened, Craig gives him a Disapproving Look, takes one look at Baby D, and hauls ass back into the store ("I'm gone!").
- This exchange after Day-Day hears Baby D throw a brick through his car window.
Day-Day: Thanks a lot, Craig!Craig: Hey, we cousins and all, but don't be hookin' me up with the little sister that's bigger than the big sister!Day-Day: Fat bitches need love, too, Craig!Roach: For sure!
- The vacuum scene, in which Roach sucks up the smoke from Craig's joint with a vacuum cleaner as Day-Day smokes it, only to end up sucking up Day-Day's lips.
Day-Day: YOU BETTER STOP FUCKIN' PLAYIN' SO MUCH! SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKIN' LIP UP!
- Pinky holds Craig at gunpoint and interrogates him, but keeps yelling "SHUT UP!" each time Craig tries to answer, even throwing a childish tantrum at one point, complete with stomping around. Craig's annoyed expression is a funny thing to watch.
- Craig vs. Pinky. Also qualifies as an Awesome Moment.
- The fight ends with Craig getting his hands on Pinky's gun and pointing it at him, and Pinky is quickly reduced to a blubbering mess as he pleads for his life.
- After Day-Day and Roach come out from the back to find Craig holding Pinky at gunpoint, and Day-Day confirms that Craig's his cousin, Pinky snaps back into Jerkass mode and fires BOTH him and Roach.
- Day-Day calls Pinky "Bobby Womack," to which Pinky goes "Oh, I heard that shit! Say it again, say it again!"
- After the three guys leave the store, Pinky boasts about how he's...well, Pinky, but then says to himself that he nearly shit himself but held his own, "so fuck that."
- Day-Day pissing and moaning while driving home, and Craig thinking he needs to think of something to help Day-Day and his family..."as soon as [Day-Day] shut the fuck up."
- Day-Day telling Roach he needs to stop hanging around black people. "You see how we live? We live wild! We live rough!"
- After Day-Day parks his car, we see the brick that Baby D threw into it is sticking out of the window. When Roach gets out and closes his door, the window finally falls in. Craig laughs while an exasperated Day-Day storms into the house.
- The scene where Day-Day informs Elroy of the property tax notice and of his getting fired from Pinky's. Elroy's in S&M gear while Suga is bound to something behind him, and he doesn't bother to take off the gag around his mouth as he reads the tax notice. After Day-Day then informs him he got fired, Elroy's response is to hit Day-Day, splash some oil on him, and proceed to beat Day-Day's ass.
- You see can Kim E. Whitley (Suga) visibly corpsing behind them as this happens.
- Tyrone hitting and hurting his hand after he tries to raise it after Deebo orders him to raise his hand if he wants to talk to him.
- "Take me to Judge Judy, puto!" Said by Joker after he runs over Roach's skateboard and Roach gives him grief for it.
- A random driver yelling "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!" after Willie gripes at him for getting in his way while he pulls into a gas station.
- Willie runs into Stanley (from the first movie) as he makes his way to the bathroom. Stanley starts to warn Willie about an awful smell inside the bathroom, only for Willie to scream "GET DA FUCK OUTTA MY FACE, STANLEY!"
- Craig and Day-Day come up to a wall by the Jokers' house, and the two squabble over who should go first:
Craig: Day-Day, you go first.Day-Day: No, nigga, you go first! I ain't goin' first!Craig: Day-Day, you don't hit that wall, I'mma toss yo' ass over.Day-Day: That's the thang 'bout it. We ain't little no more.Craig: "We ain't little," "we ain't little?"Day-Day: C'mon, man!
- Craig then simply raises his hand, but Day-Day, probably interpreting it as a threatening move, jumps and ends up falling on his ass, causing a pretty comical-sounding clang as he hits something.
- Craig then climbs over the wall without any hassles. Day-Day, on the other hand, has a bit of trouble, and ends up falling over to the other side while yelling out.
Day-Day: Man, I broke a butt cheek!
- Day-Day does it again after he thinks Craig's been taken captive by the Jokers.
- Joker trying to decide between counting stolen money and partying:
Joker: Count my money or party with bitches. Hundred and fitties, or big-ass titties. Count the green or get in between...those titties. (beat) LET'S PARTY, HOMES!
- When Joker carries a girl over his shoulder upstairs and finds his bedroom door locked, he starts freaking out and gives a short but funny rant that ends with this:
Joker: (using the girl's butt cheeks as a mouth) No more locked doors! Gracias!
- Craig diving past the bedroom door just as Joker kicks it open.
- Craig then runs upstairs behind Lil Joker and his girlfriend as they dance. He trips and falls, but gets up and continues running just as Lil Joker turns to look behind him.
- Lil Joker saying "I'm tellin' Mom!" after Karla forces him to leave her bedroom.
- Joker tearing off his pants to reveal a thong styled like a mini-tuxedo.
- "I'm an Aztec warrior! Aah!"
- Roach is sent to distract Cheeco. First, he feeds the dog a pack of bologna, then he feeds him a weed-laced brownie. Later on, he's seen smoking a joint and talking to Cheeco while the latter lays on his back, barely conscious.
- This exchange between Willie and Elroy:
Willie: I got your message. Where's Craig?Elroy: Message? I ain't send you no damn message!Willie: You didn't call the sandwich joint with an urgent message?Elroy: Hell naw, Willie! You leave 'em ticks suckin' on yo' old ass brain!
- After Willie walks into the house, Elroy notices the dog crap on the back of Willie's uniform ("You know you got dog shit all over the back of your ass?"). After the door closes, we hear: "Hey, don't sit on that couch! Put some paper down!"
- Day-Day and Roach walk up to the Jokers' door, and Day-Day knocks like a regular person would. Roach gripes at him, saying no one's going to hear his knock over the blaring music, prompting this reply from Day-Day:
Day-Day: 'Cuse me, partner, that was a fuckin' ghetto knock I just did!
- Roach then starts loudly banging his foot against the door until Day-Day forces him to stop, saying the Jokers are going to think they're the police, and Roach tells him "it gets results." Cue the Jokers opening the door and training their guns on Day-Day and Roach.
- Day-Day's answer to Joker's "Da fuck do you want?", which is also a Call Back to the first movienote .
Day-Day: We came to borrow some sugar.
- Joker's response to the above line:
Joker: This look like a fuckin' 7-Eleven to you, homes? Do you see a red dot on my forehead? Do you see the ATM in the corner that doesn't work? Do you? No, you don't, so FUCK YOU, MY FRIEND! Get the hell outta here, Day-Day! (to Roach) You, too, Silm Shady!
- Roach then challenges the Jokers about running over his skateboard earlier. Cue Day-Day and Roach getting their asses hauled into the house.
- After meeting with Karla, Craig starts to climb off the roof, only to slip and fall off.
- Day-Day tries to B.S. his way out of trouble...only to then start flirting with the Jokers' girlfriends, much to Joker's displeasure.
Joker: Hey, what the fuck?! This ain't The Love Connection, homes! You wanna go to the room or something right now?
- Joker has trouble saying the word "suspicious."
Lil Joker: "Suspicious," eh?Joker: It's makin' me think a lot, smart guy!
- This funny exchange:
Karla: Are you gonna take me to see Mommy?Joker: Damn, you bug! Look, just take my car, alright?Karla: Take your car?Joker: Did I stutter?! (to the girlfriends) Did I stutter?Day-Day: Naw, you didn't—naw.Joker: (to Karla) No!Karla: Look, stupid, just give me the car keys.Joker: Don't call me "stupid." I'm sensitive!
- This funny example of Gratuitous Spanish:
Baby Joker: (pointing a gun at Day-Day and Roach) Falta feria, gŁey.Joker: °QUE! (turns to glare at Day-Day and Roach) °PINCHE HIJOS DE PUTA, CABRONES!Day-Day: What?Joker: WE'RE SAYIN' YOU'RE FUCKED, ESE! You're staying with us!
- Joker shabbily and rudely kicks the girls out of the house, then charmingly tells them to "Call me!"
- Day-Day and Roach singing Whodini's "Friends" while they're getting tied up. That is, until Joker yells at them to "SHUT! DA FUCK! UP!"
Joker: I don't even like Whodini!
- Apparently, Elroy isn't much better than his son at climbing over walls.
Willie: Will you be quiet, Tarzan?Elroy: I don't do this shit every day, Willie.
- After Deebo kicks his way out of Willie's truck, Tyrone bangs against his door and begs Deebo to let him out. Deebo simply opens the door and tells him "Get out, fool."
- Joker getting increasingly annoyed with his brothers not coming back into the house, complete with checking his watch and talking as though he expects his brothers to walk back into the room on cue.
Joker: FUCK! Where are you fuckers?! (to Day-Day and Roach) It's tough being the brains of the operation.
- He then stalks out the house, ranting angrily about how paranoid his brothers are making him.
- Willie knocking out Baby Joker, followed by this line:
Willie: Hey, young man...you got knocked da fuck out!
- Elroy tackles Lil Joker when he comes out to check on Baby Joker, only to end up hurting his back.
- And when Craig and Joker start fighting, one of them ends up falling on Elroy's back, apparently setting his back. Elroy's pained reaction is priceless.
- When Joker comes out to see what's taking his brothers so long to get back, he finds Elroy on his back in the backyard, leading to this exchange:
Joker: What da fuck you think you're doing?Elroy: I lost somethin'. What it look like, foo'?Joker: You look like the dead mayate with a loud shirt.Elroy: My mind, that's what I lost. Ain't this my yard?
- Then Craig walks up behind Joker, gets his attention, and decks him, commencing their fight.
- "Ding-ding! School's in, bitch!"
- As Elroy removes the duct tape over Day-Day's mouth and starts cutting Day-Day and Roach free, Day-Day starts rambling on at his father about how nothing's his fault...only for Elroy to put the duct tape back over his mouth and resume cutting him and Roach free.
- Day-Day and Roach come out the house, and Craig yells for them to help him fight Joker. They race over, only for Joker to see them coming and move out the way, causing the two to go crashing into Craig and falling to the ground.
- Deebo's Villainous Rescue. He pops up behind Joker as the latter prepares to shoot Craig and punches him on the head whilst saying "WHAM!", sending Joker falling to the ground.
- Tyrone then grabs Joker's gun and aims it at Craig, saying he's going to shoot Craig, only to suddenly remember Deebo and hand the gun over to him.
- Cheeco rushing in and biting Deebo on his arm. And Tyrone trying to fight him off.
- After Deebo and Tyrone end up on the ground, Joker regains consciousness and says "Milk duds, two giant milk duds."
- Elroy's response to a police officer holding him and Willie at gunpoint:
Elroy: Wait a minute, I live across the street! Paid cash! (points to Deebo, Tyrone, and Joker) They the ones you want!
- Day-Day singing "Y'all can't fuck with the po-lice!" as the cops arrest the bad guys.
- This exchange between Willie and Elroy:
Elroy: You paid yo' parkin' tickets, Willie?Willie: You still got your illegal cable?Elroy: You right; we better get the hell outta here. (they leave the scene)
- Ghetto Santa: "Damn! That's an ugly-ass baby. Eyes cocked like a pistol."
- Day-Day: "All I want, Santa Claus, is two fat bitches and a bag of weed...and two bags of chips to give t-t-t-to the fat bitches."
- Craig getting his ass handed to him by Ghetto Santa who, at one point in the fight, beats Craig with the Christmas tree. And no, not a miniature one; a full-size one.
- Day-Day muttering in his sleep as the fight goes on out in the living room.
- Day-Day tripping and falling after learning that Ghetto Santa stole the rent money.
- Craig and Day-Day trying to B.S. their way out of trouble after the police officers find marijuana in their apartment and decide to confiscate it.
- And the two cops are later seen smoking the stuff.
- Craig and Day-Day's reaction ("DAMON!") after Miss Pearly threatens to sic her convicted criminal son Damon on them if they don't have the rent money by the end of the day.
- This is followed by an Imagine Spot of Day-Day and Craig in prison, being accosted in their cell by Damon.
- Craig and Day-Day run into Damon on their way to work, and Damon forces the guys to come over so he can hug them. Both Craig and Day-Day are hilariously squicked out.
- The commercial for Willie and Elroy's restaurant, where the food tastes "so good, makes you wanna slap yo' mama!" Willie then slaps his mother across the face.
- Craig cautioning Day-Day that they are security guards, not cops, and that what they'll be doing is "none of that shit you watch."
- This is followed by Day-Day ranting about how he doesn't need to watch his behavior and that everybody's a suspect before attempting to get out the car, only to be held back by the seat belt he still has on.
- Craig and Day-Day spot who they think is Ghetto Santa inside their fathers' restaurant, they burst through the doors, jump the guy, and begin attacking him, only to then learn it's actually Willie.
- Craig describing Ghetto Santa as "Rick James in a god-damn Santa costume."
- Day-Day power-tripping as a security guard, and Craig trying to rein him in with little-to-no success.