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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Friday

The prediction that the Rapture would happen on Saturday, May 21st, 2011 was made as a direct Take That to Friday
Harold Camping, in an attempt at revenge for the very existence of this song, wanted the world to end on Saturday, thus disproving that "Sunday comes afterwards".

Rebecca Black is an Eldritch Abomination, who feeds off of hate
Rebecca Black knew what she was doing. She had this video made, just so she can get this whole hatedom going, in order to give her more power. Now, she is the most powerful being alive.

The song is about an autistic girl with obsessive qualities who lives in a fantasy world.
  • Every decision, and every thing she does she totally over thinks. "Gotta have my bowl / gotta have cereal", "Which seat should I take", and repeating the days of the week which by her age she shouldn't have to.
  • In the beginning of the video her other family members are blurry in the background. She doesn't think about them much, or at least not today.
  • Her "friends" pull up in the car to pick her up but we never see her get in - we just see how she thinks her ride is, she actually is on the bus. The night trip to the party - still on the bus, different daydream.
  • She shows up at "A party" but we instead see her on a stage and everyone cheering for her. She's actually at school, and thinks all the students know and like her.
  • The man in the car is her therapeutic staff support counselor, just the way she imagines him. He's really a nice guy.
  • Her voice at the beginning of the song is incredibly monotone thanks to the auto-tune.

Sunday will fail to come after Saturday.
  • Never fear, Rebecca is way ahead of you. When the unthinkable happens, she'll be there to lead us into a new and glorious age, a time where there will be no more weeks, only weekends.

Rebecca only tried to become famous to try and get a date with Justin Bieber
She has just as much chance as all the other braindead <13 year olds out there.

Rebecca Black is simply a machine built by bad songwriters/engineers Clarence Jay and Patrice Wilson.
As with all the other one-hit-wonders signed by Ark Music Factory, Rebecca was a robot designed to have a good singing voice and respond to any command her songwriters/music video shooters gave her. However, the robot went haywire during the recording process of Friday, leaving the singing voice to be very whiny-sounding and bad with heavy doses of Auto-Tune automatically inserted. The robot continued to be overwrought with glitches until finally she escaped the Ark Music Factory's rule, along with the girl in pink, and has since become a full, sentient human being, along with the girl in pink.

Rebecca Black is a Magnificent Bastard knows exactly what she's doing.

  • Think about it. No one could release a song of such epic awfulness without realizing it's an epically awful song! After seeing the massive hatedom of Justin Bieber and his songs Rebecca Black obviously realized that the only way she'd every get that famous and pay for her college tuition was to make an even worse song! She calculated that most people would buy her song for it's So Bad, It's Good quality! So while she pretends to not care about the hatedom her video has drawn this is all secretly part of her master plan. After she's rode on the hatred and infamy of her song she'll drop off the face of the planet with a boatload of cash with her! For all we know she could be laughing at every dumbass who believes she genuinely wanted to be a singer.

Sunday is followed by Monday.
Think about it. What this means for Tuesday, or, if you want to get really ambitious, Wednesday, is unknown at this point.
  • According to the calendar at the beginning, Thursday comes after Wednesday. As we know from the rest of the song, Thursday > Friday > Saturday > Sunday. Thus, if Monday truly comes after Sunday, we're stuck with a never-ending loop of days, which can't possibly be true.
  • Jossed, it's just not possible.

Beavis And Butthead will watch the video in the reboot of their series.
You know you want it to happen. What made me think about it is how one of the voices in the death metal remix sounds exactly like Beavis.

Rebecca Black will turn into a One-Hit-Point Wonder.
Who will only die if she gets killed. Otherwise, she will be immortal.

Rebbecca is a Promoted Fangirl of Justin Bieber.
Since his video, Baby, was infamous for its millions of dislikes, as well as being labeled as "The worst song ever", Justin decided to hold a secret singing competition for his fangirls. Upon hearing Rebbecca, he knew that he had found someone even worse than him. So, we have a new worst song ever to top it. And now we've been distracted from a lesser, more popular, evil, which is now still infecting the minds of tween fangirls, unlike the song that's hated by everyone with the slightest sense of hearing.

Rebbecca is a malfunctioning escaped Vocaloid.
Hence the robotic voice. Her poor logic processes and bad lyrics showcase her malfunctions.

"Rebecca Black" is the newest English Vocaloid
Going on the above WMG: Knowing how many people have disliked the English vocaloids in the past, the team decided to test out the new voice by having a Vanity Studio promote it as the new original singer "Rebecca Black." The girl we call Rebecca was either the relative of a vocaloid creator or just wanted a music video and got a discount price from the studio. Unfortunately, the song that the studio wrote for it was terrible. The creators had already paid the studio and signed a contract, so they couldn't go back. They realized that it would be a flop just for the lyrics with the Periphery Hate Dumb , so they had some fun with the song and made it sound like... well, a badly-used vocaloid. Later, they'll release the Rebecca engloid as a parody.

The song "Last Friday Night" is a direct sequel to Friday, and takes place on Saturday, after Rebecca's partying the night before. Rebecca's name also appears in the video to Last Friday Night for a brief moment.

Friday is a bizarro A Day in the Life.
Friday resembles A Day in the Life in it's subject matter yet is it's exact opposite. A Day in the Life is one of, if not the, greatest songs of all time whereas Friday is well...

Rebecca Black's character in Friday is literally on drugs.
She wakes up, "gotta get my bowl, gotta get my cereal": This describes morning withdrawal, followed by munchies (which implies sating of said withdrawal), not just a cereal bowl. The rest of the day is spent with these symptoms:
  • A glazed look on her face through much of the day
  • A contradictory sedated hyperactivity (the way she seems to be a Motor Mouth played at half speed)
  • Alternating senses of anxiety (obsessing over choosing the front vs, back seat despite having only one open seat, mostly) and euphoric well-being
  • Introspection and episodic memory (as the narrator)
  • Mild hallucinations (such as thirteen-year-olds driving a car without supervision and on public roads)
  • Plain old nonsense and/or contradictory statements ("In the backseat, I'm drivin', cruisin'").

The events of Friday take place in the Midwest.
In the video, Rebecca Black and Co. are driving their own car. Assuming that the video happens in the US, this is only possible in places where 14- or 15-year-olds can have a restricted license (a learner's permit won't cut it, since that requires adult supervision). For the record, the states where this is legal are Idaho, Kansas, Montana, New Mexico, North and South Dakota, and Wyoming.

The song is really about the Kennedy assassination.

At least according to this fan theory.


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