Funny: Cold Case
- The gang discusses the day Kennedy was assassinated:
Will: I was playing touch football at recess.Scotty: Recess? I thought you were, like, forty-five when that happened.Lilly: No, you're thinking of when Lincoln was shot.Will: Keep it up. See what happens.
- In one episode Scotty and Will cut off the end of Nick's best necktie. A couple episodes later Nick gets even as only he can: stapling Will's tie to the case file he's reading and taping a sign to the back of Scotty's shirt that reads "Ask Me About Erectile Dysfunction".
Scotty: What's up, fellas?Vera: You tell me, Scotty.
- "No Drugs Today" from the episode "Glued": Scotty, Will and Nick sitting on a street corner in lawn chairs, munching on burgers and flashing their badges at every car that drives by looking for their regular drug dealers. At the end of the night they're standing around a burn barrel and Nick's wishing for marshmallows.
- Will busting a move in the squad room at the end of "Disco Inferno", after being razzed about disco by his colleagues earlier in the episode.
- Any time Nick winds up becoming interested in something that was an important part of a victim's life, like Tupperware in "Wednesday's Women".
- And do not forget the romance novels in 'Lonely Hearts'. Milkmaids. That is all.
- The episode after Will is shot, the other detectives are putting together a "get well basket" for him. Stillman and Scotty wind up bringing the exact same bottle of wine, deciding to sign both of their names to one and keep the other, while Nick's contribution is sea monkeys.
- In the series finale "Shattered" Lilly and Scotty interrogate a drug dealer on the whereabouts of Lilly's missing sister Christine. When they get the information they need they handcuff the guy to the rod in his closet until they can verify it, and Lilly throws a bag of chips into the closet advising him to "make 'em last". The dealer's incredulous response: "No dip?"
- An old man in "World's End" calling Orson Welles a son of a bitch.
- Scotty and Nick go to a quickie marriage chapel that was visited by the victim and her conman husband in "Lonely Hearts".
- The one bright spot in the otherwise very dark episode "The Letter" is how they bluff the killer, an elderly recluse, into confessing by claiming they have a ridiculous-sounding DNA analysis device that can produce fantastic results in seconds. The guy, having probably not left his house in fifty years, believes them and gives himself up. Although, given that he also created CSI, this may actually be how Jerry Bruckheimer believes DNA evidence works.
- In "Roller Girl":
- Will describing his trip to the evidence room and dealing with the lazy clerk, describing him as "Mr Happy Meal".
- Miller is anxious about a blind date her mother set up. She later calls Scotty late at night, drunk, for a ride. Scotty won't let her forget it.
- Most of the Ham-to-Ham Combat in the flashback scenes in "Creature of the Night".
- Jeffries pretending to be God in "Thrill Kill" to get testimony from a delusional homeless guy.
- Likewise, "Wings" has Kat pretending to be a put-upon secretary to help Scotty secure a statement from a He-Man Woman Hater suspect.
- The various amusing ways Kat tries stalling the villains' lawyers in "One Fall" while Lilly and Scotty try to get them to confess. Ethical police work? Probably not. Hilarious? Oh, most definitely.
Suspect: Lawyer called yet?Will: Not yet.Scotty: In the mean time, thought you could tell us what you were doing in Sil's car in Juniata Park the night Mick was killed.Suspect: I'm sure my attorney would love to do it. Why don't you go fetch him for me, ese.
- I get a giggle every time this happens, after the so-called "good cop, bad cop" routine:
Scotty: Good cop, get out.Suspect: Wait, wait. Where are you going?Will: See if your lawyer called.
- Will raises his eyebrows while Scotty roll up his sleeves.
- What makes this funny is that while Will is laughing while watching Scotty terrorizing the suspect, Kat can obviously hear the noise coming from the interview room, but still keeps a straight face while talking on the phone. Again, not ethical police work, but gives a good laugh.
- Vera's exasparation in "Dead Heat" at the fact that horse jockeys attract women like rock stars.