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Funny: Clerks II

  • The opening minutes: Dante goes in to open the store, assuming it's going to be an ordinary day. He pulls up the metal shutters to find... the inside of the store is on fire. Dante promptly slams the shutters closed, looks around, then pulls the shutters up to confirm that no, his mind is not fucking with him, the inside of the store really is on fire.
    • And everything but the fire is in black and white.
    Randal: Terrorists?
    Dante shoots him a look
    Randal: ...I left the coffee pot on again, didn't I.
    Dante Face Palms
  • The Pillow Pants scene.
  • Jay mugging for the camera, putting on Chapstick, while "Goodbye Horses" plays.
    Jay: Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.
  • A real life, behind-the-scenes example: Jeff Anderson told the story on the DVD commentary of how he was staying during filming at a place that appears briefly in the background across the street, and sometimes after a long day he would end up unknowingly trudging back there with the "Porch Monkey 4 Life" shirt still on, thinking to himself how people in that neighborhood sure do like to throw a lot of bottles for some reason or other.
    • Another one from the commentary: Kevin Smith was talking about the different actresses he considered casting as Becky, which included Sarah Silverman, who allegedly said "Let me play Randal and I'll do it for free."
  • Randal taunting Elias by talking about "...the Beast we call the Desolate One! The First of the Fallen, the Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions! (grabs mike) Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!!!"
    Jay: GRANDMA! *climbs through drive-thru window* WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE ON THAT HOLIDAY SITE?!
  • Randall acting out the Lord of the Rings movies.
  • The result of Elias getting drunk.
  • After asking Jay and Silent Bob to cover their ears near the end of the movie, we get this exchange. Also a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
    Randal (to Dante): You're my best friend, and I love you...in a totally heterosexual way.
    Jay: Yeah right.
  • And, of course, the infamous Refuge in Audacity scenes - the "Porch Monkey" bit, alongside the "Interspecies Erotica" scene.
    • The "Porch Monkey" bit gets even funnier upon learning that the majority of Wanda Sykes and Earthquake's dialogue was a case of Harpo Does Something Funny.
    • This exchange during said scene:
    Dante: "Porch monkey" is a racial slur towards black people!
    Randal: No it's not! Nigger is!
    Dante: (understandably pissed): RANDAL??!
    Elias: *pulls out deep-fryer basket; it's covered in burnt to a crisp fries* I don't think these look right!
    Randal: JESUS, Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive!
  • Jay moshing to King Diamond.
  • "Wow, thanks Picklefucker!"
    • "Yo, this tastes like piss and flies!"
  • When Dante tells Randall Becky is pregnant, he is too occupied playing with a deck of cards to care. When Dante tells him he is the father he drops his cards in shock, hitting a customer passing by causing him to front flip and fall over a table.
    • After the dancing scene, Dante is holding Becky as he tells her he loves her. When she tells him she's pregnant, he drops her in shock, then realizes and picks her up.

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