History Funny / ClerksII

28th Mar '16 5:08:56 PM lorgskyegon
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** The deleted scene right after is also great, where Randall shoos Jay from behind the counter in a simple deadpan manner worthy of Creator/LeslieNielsen himself.
28th Mar '16 5:01:02 PM lorgskyegon
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-->'''Jay''': [[Film/SilenceOfTheLambs Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me ''hard''.

to:

-->'''Jay''': [[Film/SilenceOfTheLambs Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me ''hard''.]]
28th Mar '16 5:00:49 PM lorgskyegon
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-->'''Jay''': Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me ''hard''.

to:

-->'''Jay''': [[Film/SilenceOfTheLambs Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me ''hard''.
2nd Mar '16 4:19:02 PM ironballs16
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-->'''Randal''': ...Listerfiend is her Mouth Troll, isn't it?\\
'''Elias''': (''Shrugs in resignation'') Women.
25th Feb '16 1:34:24 PM ironballs16
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-->'''Black woman:''' I'm not eating something that was cooked by some cracker-ass hatemonger!
-->'''Black man:''' ''I'' will! Baby, you can't taste racism!

to:

-->'''Black --->'''Black woman:''' I'm not eating something that was cooked by some cracker-ass hatemonger!
-->'''Black --->'''Black man:''' ''I'' will! Baby, you can't taste racism!



--> '''Randal''': Since when was it a crime to say "porch monkeys"?
--> '''Becky''': Oh, I don't know, since forever?!
--> '''Randal''': Why?
--> '''Dante''': Because porch monkey is a racial slur against black people!
--> '''Randal''': No, it's not! Nigger is!
--> '''Dante''': ''(understandably offended)'': RANDAL!!
--> '''Elias''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice Did Randal just call Mr. Dante a nigger]]?
--> '''Becky''': Shut up, Elias!

to:

--> ---> '''Randal''': Since when was it a crime to say "porch monkeys"?
--> ---> '''Becky''': Oh, I don't know, since forever?!
--> ---> '''Randal''': Why?
--> ---> '''Dante''': Because porch monkey is a racial slur against black people!
--> ---> '''Randal''': No, it's not! Nigger is!
--> ---> '''Dante''': ''(understandably offended)'': RANDAL!!
--> ---> '''Elias''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice Did Randal just call Mr. Dante a nigger]]?
--> ---> '''Becky''': Shut up, Elias!
13th Feb '16 3:51:30 PM TMK87
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** When Dante goes out back with Randall to tell the situation regarding Becky's pregnancy, Jay and Silent Bob are out back taking a piss. When Randall goes out, he accidentally slams the door open on Jay knocking him down. When Becky follows them outside she hits Jay, too, causing Jay to understandably yell "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

to:

** When Dante goes out back with Randall to tell the situation regarding Becky's pregnancy, Jay and Silent Bob are out back taking a piss. When Randall goes out, he accidentally slams the door open on Jay knocking him down. When Becky follows them outside she hits Jay, too, causing Jay to understandably yell "WHAT THE FUCK?!"FUCK?!"
** In the aftermath, an exasperated Dante is {{Tempting Fate}} by asking: "How the ''fuck'' could this day get any worse?" (Cue Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud arriving at the parking lot).
1st Feb '16 3:12:10 PM taddavis
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** When Dante goes out back with Randall to tell the situation regarding Becky's pregnancy, Jay and Silent Bob are out back taking a piss. When Randall goes out he accidentally slams the door open on Jay knocking him down. When Becky follows them outside she hits Jay too.

to:

** When Dante goes out back with Randall to tell the situation regarding Becky's pregnancy, Jay and Silent Bob are out back taking a piss. When Randall goes out out, he accidentally slams the door open on Jay knocking him down. When Becky follows them outside she hits Jay, too, causing Jay too.to understandably yell "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
1st Feb '16 3:10:45 PM taddavis
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--> '''Dante''': "Porch monkey" is a racial slur against black people!
--> '''Randal''': No it's not! Nigger is!
--> '''Dante''': (understandably pissed): RANDAL??!

to:

--> '''Randal''': Since when was it a crime to say "porch monkeys"?
--> '''Becky''': Oh, I don't know, since forever?!
--> '''Randal''': Why?
--> '''Dante''': "Porch monkey" Because porch monkey is a racial slur against black people!
--> '''Randal''': No No, it's not! Nigger is!
--> '''Dante''': (understandably pissed): RANDAL??!''(understandably offended)'': RANDAL!!



--> '''Becky''': Shut up, Elias!



-->'''Randal:''' JESUS, Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive!

to:

-->'''Randal:''' JESUS, JESUS! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive!



* "Wow, thanks Picklefucker!"
** "Yo, some Picklefucker gave us free eats!"

to:

* "Wow, thanks Picklefucker!"
Pickle fucker!"
** "Yo, some Picklefucker pickle fucker gave us free eats!"
1st Feb '16 3:06:06 PM taddavis
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* The opening minutes: Dante goes in to open the store, assuming it's going to be an ordinary day. He pulls up the metal shutters to find... ''the inside of the store is on fire''. Dante promptly slams the shutters closed, looks around, then pulls the shutters up to confirm that no, his mind is not fucking with him, ''the inside of the store really is on fire''.

to:

* The opening minutes: scene. Dante goes in to open the store, assuming it's going to be an ordinary day. He pulls up the metal shutters to find... ''the inside of the store is on fire''. Dante promptly slams the shutters closed, looks around, then pulls the shutters up to confirm that no, his mind is not fucking with him, that, yes, ''the inside of the store really is on fire''.
7th Dec '15 7:56:13 PM Theatre_Maven_3695
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* Randal taunting Elias by talking about [[{{Satan}} "...the Beast we call the Desolate One! The First of the Fallen, the Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions!]] (grabs mike) ''Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!!!''"

to:

* Randal taunting Elias by talking about [[{{Satan}} "...the Beast we call the Desolate One! The First of the Fallen, the Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions!]] (grabs mike) [[Music/KingDiamond ''Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!!!''"Grandma!!!''"]]
This list shows the last 10 events of 59. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.ClerksII