Funny / Big Time Rush

The city is ours!

Season 1

Big Time Audition

• Gustavo pulls out a ROCKET LAUNCHER on a guy that was auditioning.
  • The punk rock-looking guy after him doesn't fare any better. He steps up to the mic while Kelly and Gustavo are still arguing, and without missing a beat or looking away from Kelly, Gustavo yells "KEEP WALKING! DON'T STOP AT THE MICROPHONE. JUST KEEP WALKING!"
• When Kendall's mom opens her front door to find the boys, in police custody:
  Kendall: "Mom! Remember that time I saved you from choking? Wow, that was close. <Beat> And I love you."
• Camille's introduction.

Big Time School of Rocque

• Gustavo has hired a 'WWE Super-teacher' to keep an eye on the boys. Kendall asks if Chris Master was going to stop them...and thus eats his words when the sceen changes and when Chris Master—all dressed up as a teacher and has written Mr. Masterpiece on the chalkboard—suddenly has the shirt ripped off.
• After getting themselves kicked out of the School of Rocque, the boys delight themselves at the fact that they managed to end up in the Palmwoods School. Just as Miss Collins prepares to begin the lesson, the boys end up jumping up on their desks and pull out water soakers to excitedly spray everyone around them while Carlos dines on a pie. Cue the episode ending with the four writing on the chalkboard in detention.

Big Time Mansion

• James and the FBI:
  James: Call the FBI!
  Logan: For a missing cat? (James nods enthusiastically) The FBI only deals with serious crimes.
  James: Oh...that explains a lot...
  (Flashback)
  James: (in the bathroom, shaking a can of hairspray with an urgent look on his face) FBI?! Help! My hair is limp and lifeless! ...hello? (examines phone as dial tone is heard)'' Hellooooo?
• Also:
  Kendall: And...it's also time you stopped feeding me dinosaur-shaped chicken.
  Mrs Knight: But you love your dinosaur chicken!
  Kendall: Yeah!...When I was eight!
  Logan: We are men, Mrs. Knight!
  <Cut to James and Carlos making dinosaur noises while playing with their food>
• And another:
  Gustavo: Oh, you want me to let the monkeys mansion sit!?
  Logan: Yeah, I thought we were dogs?
  Gustavo: YOU'RE MONKEY DOGS!
  • Upon seeing the locked fridge in Gustavo's mansion:
  Kendall: Why do you think Gustavo locks his fridge?
  James: I bet he keeps his heart in there.
  Logan: Or his victims.
  Carlos: Or food!
• Carlos again after the boys wonder how they'll open the fridge:
  Carlos: Step aside, boys. My uncle was a locksmith. (framing the lock with his hands) You just place your hands between the cylinder and the central housing... THEN YOU HIT IT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!!!
• The episode ends with Gustavo entering his bathroom, only to end up getting attacked by his alligator that was put in there.

Big Time Demos

• The gang try to suck up to Griffin's daughter Mercedes in the belief she chooses which acts become famous for the company. After going along with it, she tells them the real way the record acts are chosen, eliciting an absolutely beautiful You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! reaction from the boys, Gustav and Kelly.
  Gang: A MONKEY picks the demos?!!?!!?!?!
• The boys, Gustavo, Kelly, and Mercedes sit dejectedly in the lobby after losing Lolo and failing to convince him to like their demo. Kendall then stands up and proceeds to rattle off an encouraging speech that lifts everyone's spirits... only for Griffin to walk in with Lolo.
  Kendall: No. We are not giving up. We're almost halfway there, and another thing I've learned since coming to LA is that together? We can do anything.
  (enter Griffin with Lolo the Monkey)
  Griffin: Look who I found, hitchhiking on the Hollywood freeway.
  Kendall: Yeah, we're done.
  • Buddha Bob convincing the menacing tenant in 3R to move out by pretending to be a chainsaw-wielding maniac. As soon as the guy's out of sight, he reverts back to his regular Nice Guy self with a 'another day's work' type of smile.

Big Time Party

• And this gem of a line:
  James: We're TEENAGERS: if we don't party, we could DIE!

Big Time Jobs

• The coffee machine going crazy. "MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM" and "I WILL COVER THE EARTH WITH FOAM".
  • Later, when Kelly is telling Carlos that they can't destroy it, the coffee machine calls her and women in general weak. Her reaction is to eagerly help Carlos destroy it while it yells for them to tell the blender it loves it.

Big Time Sparks

• Carlos jumping into a well after everyone else fell into it and his justification for doing so.
  Carlos: I was lonely!
• Everyone at Rocque Records trying to get a skunk sent by Gustavo's Sitcom Arch-Nemesis Hawk out of the studio without being sprayed. In the end, the boys capture it with ease, making Gustavo look like a fool. They then use it to give Hawk his karmic comeuppance.

Big Time Fever

• "You, don't panic. You, STOP BEING ORANGE!"
• When James walks into the lobby, Kendall jumps up from behind the desk, dual-wielding super soakers, and starts trying to hit James to wash the spray tan off. What ensues is a Matrix-esque scene that involves James dodging in ridiculous ways, including two cartwheels and a backflip, and all of the other people in the lobby getting caught in the crossfire, all of it set to techno music straight out of an action movie. The scene itself ends with James ducking into the elevator only to stick his head back out and pointedly spray more of the fake tan on his face.

Big Time Video

• The City is Ours Imagine Spot. They dance as buildings. That is all. Refer to the picture at the top of the page.
• The boys wonder how they'll fit everyone into their music video.
  Kendall: We'll just put everyone in the background as extras or something.
  Logan: Yeah, that's acting, right?
  Every Extra in the Background: YES!!!
• This exchange with Gustavo and Kelly after failing to find a director for a video, and turning away Marcos again.
  Gustavo: All directors are idiots! That's why I'm gonna direct the music video myself.
  Kelly: Because you're an idiot?
  Gustavo: NO!
• The episode ends with the boys enjoying their new car Gustavo got for them. Then Bitters, who's still inside the trunk, calls them to ask how long he's in there for, where they reply for about two more months until Logan gets his license. Bitters screams at the realization while the boys hang up and turn up the radio while they continue their joyride.

Big Time Concert

• When the group attempted to look for a replacement for James, the last person to audition sings good but unfortunately happens to be a demon worshiper and before that the reveal that his name is Skippy Hickenlooper.
• Towards the end after Griffin wants to buy back Big Time Rush, Kelly makes one of the requirements be that Griffin must run back to the studio and write "I will never do this to Big Time Rush again" 100 times on a chalkboard and he runs off to do it. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome for Kelly.
• As a bunch of fangirls start chasing after BTR, Camille notes to Jo that they have serious competition on their hands. Jo tells Camille that they could take them.

Season 2

Welcome Back Big Time

• Gustavo and Kelly asking Griffin how he got BTR a spot at Rocktober.
  Griffin: A little wheeling, a little dealing... and poison.
  • A few moments later..
  Griffin: Just remember: Big Time Rush, Rocktober... poison.

Big Time Girlfriends

• One of the plots of the episode concerns Carlos entering a relationship with a girl named Sasha. As it happens, Sasha was hired by Gustavo to date Carlos... and then breakup with him, so that Carlos can properly do the band's new breakup song. And as it turns out, Gustavo legitimately doesn't understand that this is wrong.
  • Kelly (by means of threatening to smash his music awards) gets Gustavo to abort the plan at the last minute. Only problem?
    Sasha: Well, if you don't want me to break up with him, then what do I do?
    (Gustavo turns to Kelly in shock)
    Kelly: (defensive) Don't look at me!
  • And then you get to the punchline: after the scam is revealed, and Carlos and Sasha decide to try a real relationship, Sasha admits she doesn't actually like corn dogs. Carlos dumps her on the spot.

Big Time Pranks

• Katie telling the boys their picture of Lord Prankerton is actually a picture of Sir Walter Raleigh, and their big reaction to it:
  Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos: BLASPHEMY!!!
• The cannon scene. No description can do it justice.

Big Time Christmas

• The group is desperate to find another celebrity to guest star in their Christmas album. Cue to Snoop Dog hitting Gustavo with his limousine during his Skyward Scream. Instead of tending to Gustavo, Carlos happily calls it "A Christmas Miracle".

Big Time Beach Party

• This gem:
  James: All aboard the Malibu Beach Party Party Bus!
  Logan: You said "party" twice.
  James: You bet I did.
• Most of the stuff Mrs. Knight did while trying to slather the boys with sunblock falls under this category.
• The completely ridiculous yet somehow plausible reveal that Big Time Rush exists in the same universe as...SpongeBob SquarePants, as Patchy the Pirate appears in the episode.
• Just as Carlos, Logan, and Patchy managed to open the treasure chest and celebrating from what they accomplished, Griffin then shows up and takes the treasure for himself as a way for the three to pay for the damages to his basement and his car.

Big Time Songwriters

• Gustavo uses Decision Darts to decide the subject of his next song, and the darts land on "muskrat" and "love". When Carlos tries his hand at the darts he gets "hate" and "baby".
• The part in where Gustavo bursts out of a Polynesian mud bath (which had been filled with concrete so he wouldn't leave) yelling and stumbling around like a kaiju that's burst out from underground.
• "IT'S. NOT. Terrible."

Big Time Reality

• The plan for the reality show's season finale includes voting for one of the members of the band to be kicked out, with poor Logan being the one most likely booted by most of the others. When Logan confesses that it would be either James or Carlos, the two punch him.
• With help from Katie, the boys get Griffin to cancel the reality show by disassembling all the cameras and put cameras (secretly) in Griffin's office to make a new reality show starring him. They then show Griffin a video of his embarrassing habits that they made which includes firing people, dancing, kissing a large picture of himself, hanging on a wall in his office saying "I love you mommy" while sleeping, testing a bow and arrow on people, jumping on his office couch doing gymnastics, singing to BTR, farting, playing with a toy car, playing with toy animals, and a clip of him doing karate punches when he gets out of the shower with his towel accidentally falling down revealing his bare butt. Under the risk of the five uploading the video online, Griffin agrees to end the reality show and delete the clips, even firing Snake when the latter complains.
• Even when things went back to normal with the boys and their lives, it turns out that Snake Timmons has been spying on them through the surveillance room hinting at him seeking revenge while also doing an Evil Laugh, only to get knocked out by Gustavo and Kelly.

Big Time Girl Group

• Boyz in the Attic spraying on Kat's Crew's poster as part of their "comeback".

Green Time Rush

• The way Kendall wins the contest by simply tying Jett up so he won't be as wasteful as he always is and the teacher listing the insane amount of electricity and money that is saved by tying Jett to a chair.
• After Kendall and Jett end up winning the contest, they began to celebrate the fact that they would get a week from school. As it turns out, however, it also meant that they would also have to travel to the capital to share their idea to the governor and other school winners. Cue the end of the episode, where inside the plane, Jett muses at his brilliance while Kendall is upset at the fact that he is stuck with Jett for another week as a kid sitting behind him kicks his seat while his mother is trying to get him to stop.

Big Time Moms

• It turns out Logan's real name is Hortense. During the montage of James' mom making the boys' decisions for them, she told the boys to call Hortense "Logan" from that point onward, which Logan himself actually agreed with her on.
• When Mr. Bitters kept lying to his mom about his job, it lead to more lies and Buddha crossdressing.

Big Time Single

• As James and Carlos ended up experiencing heartbreak themselves, Kendall tries to tell his friends that he's feeling better only to see the two sobbing on the couch like he did. Logan calls him out on what he caused.
• When asked on what would get blonde Jennifer to briefly take James back so the latter dumps her, she then demands the jacket Katie is wearing. Katie protests, only for Kelly to yell at her to give away her jacket.
• Even after the boys resolve their heartbreak issues, the episode ends with Katie distraught of no longer having the jacket.

Big Time Wedding

• Even after dirt boy and the princess got married, it turns out the king had four other daughters for each of the boys to marry. Cue the band running away screaming from the daughters.

Big Time Rocker

• Carlos and James are trying to not be in the 'Friend Zone' with Lucy and constantly try to convince her otherwise. One scene involves them dressed up as Mario and Luigi.
  Lucy: What part of this did you think I'd go for?
  James: (in an Italian accent) We don't know.
  Carlos: (also in an Italian accent) We're getting desperate.

Big Time Strike

• The scene where Gustavo tries to sing the BTR song, "Superstar". He sings pretty good but what makes it hilarious is that he sings the song WHILE DRESSED UP AS BIG TIME RUSH! Kelly's reaction to the whole thing also deserved to be mentioned.
• The multi purpose picket signs.
• The Giant Turd music video, where the boys are dancing in pink clothes.
• At the end of the episode, Griffin demands the gang to make another music video and when they decide that the boys deserve a break, the CEO responds that he isn't leaving until it is made. Right after sitting on the couch, the boys then press Gustavo's switch to shock Griffin up to the roof, where the latter then changes his mind.

Big Time Superheroes

• Upon being released from prison, Hawk falsely promises to the commissioner that he has seen the error of his ways and decides to only focus on his own music. Cue the next scene of him smugly swearing revenge on Gustavo and Big Time Rush.
• Hawk becoming Super Hawk and acting as hammy as the characters from the 1960's Batman.
• A notable gag of Mrs. Knight getting squirted on by Super Clog at her expense. Getting doused with the goop while she was in the shower ended up being the last straw for her as Mrs. Knight joins her daughter and Buddha Bob in stopping Super Clog.
• James oblivious to the others wanting to do something other than dress up as superheroes.
• Just as the others join James in dressing up as superheroes to stop Hawk as the "Supertastic Super 6", after the superhero montage with "Blow Your Speakers" playing, the boys notice Kelly not having anything on. Kelly comments that she didn't like anything from the pile, then reluctantly being "Bowlhead".
• Super Clog falling down on Mr. Bitters.
• The fight scene between the "Supertastic Super 6" and Hawk, who somehow gets "defeated" by Kelly using her bowl on his face.
• Upon getting arrested again, the evidence used against Hawk came from a receipt from a costume shop with Hawk's signature. Hawk claims that it could be any Hawk, only for the commissioner to also show the part where the purpose is checked for "revenge".
• The episode ending with the "Supertastic Super 6" struggling to get a cat down. Kelly even suggested throwing the bowl on the cat, to the refusal of the others.

Big Time Secret

• Logan going batshit insane near the end.
• After Kendall and Camille get injured, the others decide to play a simple game of "Truth or Dare" instead. After Carlos picks truth, he ends up getting chased by his friends.

Big Time Movie

• As Logan states, "There is no princess! And are we singing the Beatles? Do we look like the Beatles? No!" (cue the beginning guitar riff for "A Hard Day's Night" as he realizes that they are doing an Abbey Road Crossing) "Wait a minute..."

Season 3

Big Time Returns

• While the boys celebrate by eating their desserts, Katie then points out to the four that they're eating each others. Cue the next scene of them running in their underwear while Bitters is still doing his Big Time Experiences with Mrs. Knight chases after him on a horse.

Bel Air Rush

• This line:
  Carlton Expy: You do know what's outside Bel Air don't you? Not Bel Air.
• When Gustavo and Kelly attempt to call the boys, Mrs. Knight, at the vicinity of the call, struggles to get to the right setting of the automated system to answer the call, with her inability to get to the phone setting causing trouble to Gustavo and Kelly.
• During one of Gustavo and Kelly's attempts to get inside Bel Air, Gustavo is shown wincing in pain from the amount of shots he got as part of the requirements.
• Katie getting into a conflict with Fabio over the fact that the girl is using the latter's lemons for her lemonades.
• Due to getting maimed by a tiger, upon seeing the boys and Katie leaving inside the moving truck driven by Gustavo, Fabio frantically begs them for him to take him with them as he doesn't find Bel Air suitable either.
• While trying to help BTR, Winnie accidentally crashes onto McAllister and his fellow committee members.

Big Time Double Date

• This exchange:
  Logan: Oh, Camille! You should get the "arrogant blowhard"! Oh, wait, you already do!
  Jett: Oooh, where's the arrogant blowhard? Must be on the lunch menu.
• When James is on the dessert cart and crashes into Kendall and Lucy. They end up in a rather romantic pose.
  Lucy: I'm not kissing you.
  Kendall: I know.

Big Time Merchandise

• After Griffin's marketing team shows off the BTR merchandise (horse shampoo, toilet brushes and action figures that say embarrassing things), the boys, Gustavo and Kelly stand up to object before Griffin cuts them off with, "And I don't want to hear any complaining. Or yelling." It then cuts to the boys and Gustavo complaining inside the recording booth, waving the products around.
• Later, after BTR's first meeting with Sam Sellmart, which ended with Sellmart being blinded by their perfume, this happens.
  Kendall: Griffin, before you say anything, we can fix this.
  Griffin: Let me guess, it involves a prank phone call, breaking and entering, and tree hats.
  (Cuts to Kelly carrying a phone, Gustavo carrying wires, and the boys carrying crowbars and wearing tree hats)
  James: We're weren't... actually gonna break anything.
  (Everybody throws away their items)
• After Sellmart indirectly insults Griffin's merchandise ideas, Griffin scoffs off the notion and when trying to show that the dolls are "action-packed", accidentally flings Sellmart out of his hospital bed into the boxes.
• Griffin complaining inside the recording booth for two hours straight.

Big Time Surprise

• Everything Carlos and Logan did in their side plot.
  Solo record dance in my solo record pants!
• When Gustavo refuses to give Carlos and Logan their solo records, the two put him inside a dumpster in retaliation. Griffin advises the two to let him out after two hours while Logan prevents Kelly from helping Gustavo.

Big Time Decision

• The episode begins with mocking the show turning into a soap opera.
• When Carlos decided to give the other Zom B Gone bottle to James, Bitters responds that he would eat the two's brains should he become a zombie.

Big Time Gold

• After having wasted all his time on the gold record the two wanted to know what it sounds like, Gustavo grabs a hammer and chases after James and Carlos in anger. This even continues during the double date between Kendall and Jo and Logan and Camille.

Big Time Camping

• At the end of the episode, Camille suggests to the others that they should have that kind of camping adventure again, to the vehement protest of the others.

Season 4

Big Time Invasion

• The boys sabotaging each others' events by spitballing each other.
• The episode ends with the boys suggesting to Katie to talk with other boys they bring up, with help from Jo and Camille, much to Katie's embarrassment.

Big Time Scandal

• After Cher Lloyd finds out about James' deception of having it look like he's doing a duet with her, James tries to run away from her throughout the episode.

Big Time Lies

• Logan faking an illness to avoid going to a play that Camille is making him go with her for. It ends up escalating with Dr. Hollywood also claiming to be "ill" as well, prompting the two to be in a quarantine bubble. Camille notes that she knows they're lying yet the two still go with it anyways.
• Speaking of the play, ironically by the end, Camille realizes that the play is boring and decides to leave. However, Logan and Dr. Hollywood seem to actually enjoy it now.

Big Time Pranks II

• Mrs. Knight claiming that she could do a sky-high split-kick which some of the others don't believe. This actually comes to her benefit as she ends up winning the prank war with that skill.
• Katie pranking Buddha Bob by trapping him in the duct with a "Hit Me" sticky note on his pants, prompting many others to smack him as they pass by him, which prevails even to the end of the episode.

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