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Pilot
- Liz's more Adorkable personality in the pilot leads to some awkward moments, such as when Charles asks if the transition has been difficult:
- Liz: Actually, my ex-partner is British.Charles: No, I meant from working at a website to a job where lives are on the line.Liz: Oh. Well, I haven't killed anyone yet, so, you know...you could be my first.Charles: Yeah, well, I'm close protection-trained, so I doubt it.Liz: Yeah? I might find a way through.Charles: (seriously) I doubt it.
- Before leaving, Charles adds:
- Charles: We do need to make sure the Commissioner gets a fair share of the gun crime reduction pie.Liz: Absolutely. One large slice of gun crime reduction pie. [Uncomfortable Beat] Next to key lime, it's my favourite pie.
- Richard and Charles don't have a high opinion of Forensics:
- Charles: When I put them on the spot, and said gun-to-their-head -Richard: They said 'what sort of gun'?Charles: Exactly. They suspect a shooty-bang-bang gun.
- Liz urges Richard to inform the public that the shootings may be connected:
- Richard: If I say there's a sniper on the rampage, and there isn't, the city will shut down, and I'll get crucified.Liz: Yes, but if there is -Richard: - and then taken down, and stabbed. And then, propped up at a select committee and buried under bullshit from MP's grandstanding three months after the last blue light's gone out, who'd lock themselves in their downstairs toilet and call us out if one lad in a hoodie turned up at their daughter's eighteenth. And then, I'll get dragged through the papers, and stabbed again.Charles (offscreen): Up the arse.Richard: No need to be disgusting, Charlie.
- Finn rushes to Mia with new information about the shootings. Mia refuses to tell Liz, on the grounds that there's a cut-off for what Liz knows.
- Finn: You can't hold back time! You're not fucking Michael J. Fox, or L'Oreal!
Episode One
- Liz and Tom attempt to prepare Richard for a hearing with the Deputy Mayor by rehearsing possible questions. Richard isn't being terribly cooperative.
- Richard: No, I have not been tugging off politicians for influence. Changing times. New ideas. Big challenges. London is safe. Big Ben's on time. The Beefeaters are fucking the ravens. All's well! Thank you and good morning.
- Afterwards, he and Liz Walk and Talk:
- Richard: I have a strategy for the committee: I give them nothing.Liz: Yeah, that's passive and defensive. Things are changing.Richard: Everything's always changing. I remember when it was Monday, now it's Tuesday.
- Sharon confronts Securamax representatives over the inmate riots:
- Representative: I don't want to go into too much detail.Sharon: No? And I don't want the GP to put that brush up my vagina when I get my smear test, but that's the procedure.
- Richard asks Tom to do some rescheduling for him:
- Richard: All my medical appointments - doctor, physio - can you delete them?Tom: Can I technically, or ethically, or physically? ...What's the question? [Richard stares at him coldly] No, sure.Richard: Very good.Tom: And can I ask why?Richard: Yes. For a reason.
- Liz tries to clear the air with Finn:
- Liz: I know I took your job, but I'm not going to pretend: I don't like you.Finn: It's great to see you, too.Liz: And you don't like me.Finn: Only everything I know about you.Liz: You know, Adolf Hitler would sometimes appoint two people to do the same job. Then he'd just see who was best, who fought it out.
- Fridge Brilliance: Liz accidentally compared Richard to Hitler.
- There are hostage negotiations with the youth offenders at Cravenwood, concerning the facility guards they've overwhelmed. The inmates' demands include speaking to celebrities and pizza delivery.
- Sharon: Look, we'll get you some pizzas.Guard: They say they want naan breads. And onion bhajis. Hold on, I'm getting lots of requests...40 bargain buckets. Stuffed crust.Sharon: Not stuffed crust. That's taking the piss.
- Their threats are creative:
- Officer: We need to make an intervention plan. I've received a credible threat.Sharon: Stuffing him with cheese and eating him? No cheese could realistically be inserted up an anus.Finn: (casually) I don't know - reckon I could do it with a wedge of Parmesan and a lump hammer.[Cue WTF look from Sharon]
- Commissioner Miller does not have a good day. First, he has to attend the hearing by the Deputy Mayor. Then, he learns that Charles - his second-in-command and best friend - has been in talks to enter the private sector, behind Richard's back. They go outside for a chat:
- Richard: I sleep like a cokey meerkat on an electric fence - that's me relaxing. I've got a map inside my head of all the trouble in the world and you've just popped up on the radar like Godzilla's hard-on. And I will cut you loose and watch you burn if you ever, ever fuck me again, Charlie, all right?
- It only goes downhill from there.
- Tom: Just have a few deep breaths, Commissioner -Richard: Shut up, you fucking yoghurt.
- Richard then exchanges friendly words with Deputy Mayor Grant Delgado, who claims it's not personal. Richard assures him that there was no offense taken. As soon as Grant is safely out of earshot:
- Richard: I want Grant Delgado stripped jack-naked and I want his bollocks nailed to the wall and I want to see him spin by them like a Catherine Wheel.Liz: No.
Episode Two
- Liz hooks up with her ex-boyfriend, Granger. In the middle of making out, he starts to snort cocaine.
- Liz: Woah, woah. I am so not okay with that.Granger: Liz, I'm not going to peer pressure you, but this is why you have no friends. [inhales some coke, then holds the rest out to Liz] If you're thinking to yourself, 'that looked delicious', you'd be absolutely right.[Smash Cut to Liz frantically typing, with a manic expression on her face, as techno music plays in the background]
- It's not entirely readable, but Liz's email is a Freeze-Frame Bonus. Midway through, she seems to be lengthily comparing the police giving stories to the media to the relationship between Apple and Samsung. Verbatim:
- "[...] do you think Apple gives a shit about hurting Samsung's feelings?? "Sorry Samsung, sorry we're selling so many iPads would you liek to have some of them so you can sell them [...]"
- The next day, Liz eagerly approaches Richard to discuss Metwork (which, remember, is an idea she came up with while high):
- Liz: Did you get my email?Richard: Which email? There's two.Liz: The second one. I sent the first one halfway through, so I sent it again.Richard: There's one labelled 'ignore'.Liz: It says 'ignore' in the subject, and the other email in the body.Richard: So, read the one marked 'ignore'?Liz: ...Is now a bad time?
- When discussing the Initiatives on Policing Conference:
- Liz: Well, it's a stage, and it's going to have Richard on it, so I want to get out in front of as many stories as possible. Batten everything down, squared all the way.Finn: A despot, rounding up the stray dogs before the big rally.Liz: Kind of, yeah.
- Mia then brings up 'taser guy'.
- Liz: Remind me?Finn: Some coke nut took 50,000 volts in a public toilet and his heart imploded. [Tom looks horrified, Finn rolls his eyes at him] Boo hoo.
- The Reveal of what the gossip piece said about Richard: he claimed to have saved three people from a firebombing near Cookstown. The paper says he only saved two.
- Mia: He's still a hero...he's just 25% less of a hero.Liz: I can't ask for a retraction on this. It makes us look fucking coconuts.
- Finn confronts Liz over Metwork:
- Finn: It's a vanity project. It's a 50 ft-high statue of Liz Garvey made out of cat shit and tinfoil.Liz: You're obsolete technology, Finn. You are a solar-powered fax machine.Finn: ...Fuck you.Liz: (cheerfully) Have a great afternoon!
- Liz speaks to Charles about the recent armed robbery sprees:
- Charles: It's not a 'spree', Liz. They're not skipping around London with their shopping trolley. 'Spate'. A spate of armed robberies.Liz: We have the Policing Conference this week and I am keen to avoid any difficult headlines.Charles: Okay, we'll just stop all crime. It's fine, because I've got a hotline to the robbers. I'll tell them to take the day off, they can go to Alton Towers.Liz: Charlie, I don't want to tread on your toes -Charles: Don't worry, you wouldn't reach.Liz: I'm sorry, how do you mean? Do you have enormously tall toes?Charles: It's a priority, Liz. One of my many priorities. Like taking guns off the street, or finding out who killed the funk.
Episode Three
- On Robbie's first day in Specialist Firearms Command, his squad encounters a man standing at the edge of a rooftop. Robbie's teammates make him talk the guy down.
- Robbie: Life's hard, I get that. I mean, look at me: it's my first day in a new job, and I'm here talking to you, and you're on a ledge, so that's pretty stressful - [the man jumps] Shit!
- It turns out to be a prank set up by the rest of Firearms.
- Liz receives a text from Grant Delgado asking if she's "up for a coffee".
- Liz: Coffee is either a job offer, or he wants to fuck me.Granger: He wants to fuck you.Liz: It's a job offer.
- Then, Liz tells Granger that Richard hasn't spoken to her since her earlier ultimatum.
- Granger: Just let him sweat and when he comes grovelling, tell him you're only going to stay if he gives you a 25K bump. Now's the time to max out your market value.Liz: Have you done coke already this morning?Granger: Yes, I have done coke already this morning.
- Discussing the bomb threat:
- Richard: We up the security level, send in TSG. Throw some bodies at it. [Beat] Not the best choice of words, but you know what I mean.
- Off the tail of his oddball comments, Tom also gets some surprisingly good snark in:
- Sharon: Someone with the same script threatened the Bass Guitar Show at Olympia in May.Tom: Oh, 'Bomb the Bass'! That's a song, isn't it? Or a band? (quietly) No, I'm sorry. It's not helpful.Sharon: We closed it down. No bomb, nothing.Richard: We got hammered by the Mayor.Sharon: And he doesn't even play the bass.Tom: He probably does by now, election coming up.
- Grant Delgado attempts to poach Liz:
- Grant: I should probably mention that Richard is sitting on top of a volcano of shit.Liz: A what?Liz: Right.Grant: The Richard Miller shit volcano is likely to erupt very soon, so you might want to consider coming to City Hall - a safe harbour free of molten faeces and explosive jets of anal lava.
- After speaking to Richard, Liz calls a meeting with Finn and Mia. Liz lets Finn speculate for a while, leading to this line:
- Finn: If you're trying to make me sweat, it won't work. I've had my armpit tubes cut, so I literally never perspire.
- Later, in a departure from their usually snappy back-and-forth:
- Finn: So you want to deal with this virus by letting it infect everyone?Liz: Pfft. Fuck off. [walks away]Finn: (disappointed) ...That wasn't very good banter.
- Following the bomb threat, the TSG are on the lookout at the convention centre. They stumble upon an unattended backpack marked 'bomb', with a cartoon bomb on it. They're understandably confused about how to proceed.
- Davina: Bombers don't usually label their bombs, do they? Only in Road Runner cartoons.
- Charles protests the shoplifting charge:
- Charles: Why would I steal shampoo? I don't even have hair!
- While Liz is in the middle of a doubly tense situation, Finn suddenly barges into her office:
- Finn: I know what this is!Liz: What?Finn: Today's the day you settle all family business.Liz: ...Is that from The Godfather?!
Episode Four
- Liz and Mia get confused over Robbie's race.
- Mia: But I mean, mixed race is black, isn't it? I mean, my gut feeling when I looked at this picture was - black guy. That's the test, isn't it?Liz: I don't think that's the official UN procedure, no.Mia: Maybe he's Asian? Or Greek? Like Dappy from N-Dubz?Liz: I think if we claimed the Greeks as multiracial, we'd get shafted by everyone, including the Greeks.
- Mia then asks if they can call Robbie to ask if he's black. Liz insists that they can't. Conveniently, Robbie's personal information pops up on Mia's screen.
- Mia: Oh, he's Turkish. The opposite of Greek.
- Throughout the episode, Finn crosses the line around four to six times. He tries to blackmail Liz into quitting, bearing in mind this is still the day after Richard's suicide:
- Finn: When great double acts end, going solo's always going to be difficult. Art Garfunkel. Liam Gallagher. Frankenstein's monster. Just some examples.
- Mia tells him about the Jeffries shooting:
- Finn: Dead Commissioner, dead teenager. Can everyone please just stop dying, just for a minute?
- When Mia refers to the situation as 'boy shot by armed cops':
- Finn: There are no 'boys' in this story.Mia: The photo's just come through. He does look sort of boyish.Finn: 'Boy' to me is five or younger.
- Despite Liz being on sick leave, she steers Mia towards approaching the Jeffries shooting from an apologetic angle. When Finn gets the physical draft of her press statement, he does not take it well.
- Finn: Look, Liz is sick, all right? She's so sick, she's dead. [rips up the draft as Mia gasps] Consider this her last will and testament!
- Finn proceeds to heatedly explain that there isn't any room for moderation in the media. He compares their situation to the plot of most Western movies ("black hats versus white hats"), but it's a serious moment which brings up a valid point and provides characterisation for Finn. It ends with him storming off as usual...before he awkwardly slides back onscreen to clarify:
- Finn: There are no
racial connotations to the hat colours. Those are just the colours they come in.
- He then has to kick Matt and Miles out of the building, after they got into a slap fight while Finn was ranting.
- Finn's reaction to Liz's appearance on Sky News:
- Finn: If we try to get rid of her now, we're going to look like a racist Darth Vader trying to drown Luke Skywalker in a bag with some kittens.
Episode Five
- While watching news relating to the Jeffries shooting, Liz is interrupted for a Twitter Q&A session.
- Liz: What?Staff Member: Finn said you'd take care of it.[On cue, Finn walks past the meeting room and gleefully flips Liz off]Liz: (sighs) I'm sure he did.
- Charles, Finn, and Tom review potential candidates for Commissioner:
- Finn: Look at all these bald, boring, white bastards. It's like staring into the crowd at a fucking Genesis concert.
- Finn then suggests they use Charles being black to their advantage. Charles immediately shoots that idea down, pointing out that rising through the ranks as a black man was difficult enough for him, and now people assume he's a Token Minority.
- Charles: So if you think after all that, I'm going to let one single shitbag say I got this job through anything other than sweat, shoe leather, and ability, then with all due respect, you can fuck right off. [Beat] Frankly.Finn: ...Okay.Charles: No, with me, we emphasize the bearing. [Finn tenses, then visibly deflates] I have...good bearing.Tom: Awesome bearing.
- Tony's interview as part of the IPCC inquiry. He mentions that Robbie is excited to be part of the unit, then has to backtrack from accidentally making Robbie sound 'unstable'.
- Tony: 'Giddy'. That's the word. Write that down: 'giddy'.
- Liz's Rousing Speech to Sharon quickly goes off the rails:
- Liz: This place is on fire. It is burning to the ground. Richard, the Jeffries shooting, and do you know what Finn is doing? He's bolting the front door, and he is locking all the windows, and now Charlie's going round and collecting all the fire extinguishers, and he's dousing them in petrol and he's burning them all. [Liz's eyes widen] Fire extinguishers! On fire! I can make this place work better than it does. I'm not going to say it's my calling, because that would make me sound crazy. But I am not crazy: I am FUCKING Mary Poppins.
- Very shortly after:
- Sharon: Liz, if this was a roadside stop, this would be the point in the conversation where I'd ask you to step out of your vehicle.
- Liz seductively asks Tom for help:
- Liz: Tom, maybe there's another angle on all this. Maybe when it all shakes out, you don't have to get into bed with Inglis. Maybe there's another bed. Maybe Sharon has a bed, with a very nice duvet with a very high tog rating.Tom: That sounds...cozy.
- And it actually works.
- Tom: I can't be anywhere near this. Finn will string me up by my ball hairs. And that isn't paranoia - that is a verbatim threat!
- When Charles visits Karl Jeffries' mother, Finn and Tom don't join him inside. So, he leaves them, two white men who just came out of a police convoy, in the middle of a neighbourhood mourning and obviously angry over a black teenager who was fatally shot by an officer. Finn looks increasingly agitated, which Tom seems to take quiet delight in.
- Tom: (sweetly) Shall we wait in the car?Finn: (quickly) Yeah, let's do that.
- Finn confronts Liz over her leaking the TSG deployment numbers:
- Finn: Can't prove it, of course, since you learned the ways of the Dark Side from the Master...who would be me.Liz: (laughing) Delusions of Jedi! Please don't be that guy.Liz: If we get a shot, we blow up the Death Star. And then we build a new Death Star - but an open, friendly, accountable Death Star. [stares into the distance contemplatively] A Perspex Death Star.Sharon: ...Sure.
Episode Six
- The disturbed side-eye Tom gives to Finn at the beginning.
- After Tom hears Finn refer to Sharon's PCSO idea as kicking a wasps' nest, with a swarm coming to "sting her up the wazoo":
- Tom: Quick question, and this is from me, but is the 'wazoo' - is that the back bottom or the front bottom? I never know.Finn: Really good question, Tom.Tom: Thank you.Finn: Yeah, why don't you Google it and fuck off out of my face?
- In the middle of a lovers' spat between Davina and Clarkey, Nobbo discovers the footage of Banjo that's gone viral:
- Nobbo: Hey, Davs, here's a question for you: how would you like to see your husband going absolutely fucking mental on a rubbish bin?
- Discussing the Specialist Firearms Officers refusing to carry their guns, as a legal form of protest:
- Liz: So your armed policemen can choose not to be armed? Can they also choose to be firemen? Are they policemen, or are they fucking philosophers?
- Finn's expression suggests he found that Actually Pretty Funny.
- Finn attempting to dissect Liz's personality:
- Finn: I bet you were top of your high school class, weren't you? But you always wanted more, didn't you -Liz: Don't come and Hannibal Lecter me! I was homeschooled by hippies, as it happens, I was raised by wolves in a cave! You don't know me.
- Liz's parting shot:
- Liz: Do you know what I see when I look at you spewing your shit? A dinosaur, roaring at monkeys sailing by. On bikes. With iPads.
- When Specialist Firearms Command raids Matt Coward's flat:
- Tony: [pokes head into the room] What the fuck is going on, lads?Banjo: You don't want to know.Tony: No?Banjo: The kid I shot: the gun wasn't in his hand, and Robbie moved the weapon -Tony: [turns heel and sticks fingers in ears] La la la!
