History Funny / Babylon2014

--->'''Liz''': I think if we claimed the Greeks as multiracial, we'd get shafted by everyone, [[AcceptableTargets including the Greeks]].

* The next day, Liz eagerly approaches Richard to discuss [[IncrediblyLamePun Metwork]] (which, remember, is an idea she came up with while high):

----> '''Tom''': Oh, [[IncrediblyLamePun 'Bomb the Bass'!]] That's a song, isn't it? Or a band? (''quietly'') No, I'm sorry. It's not helpful.

--->'''Liz''': You know, Adolf Hitler would sometimes appoint two people to do the same job. Then he’d just see who was best, who fought it out.

--->'''Richard''': I sleep like a cokey meerkat on an electric fence - that's me relaxing. I’ve got a map inside my head of all the trouble in the world and you’ve just popped up on the radar like Godzilla’s hard-on. And I will cut you loose and watch you burn if you ever, ever fuck me again, Charlie, all right?

--->'''Liz''': Charlie, I don’t want to tread on your toes -
--->'''Charles''': Don’t worry, you wouldn’t reach.
--->'''Liz''': I’m sorry, how do you mean? [[MetaPhorgotten Do you have enormously tall toes?]]
--->'''Charles''': It’s a priority, Liz. One of my many priorities. Like taking guns off the street, or finding out who killed the funk.

--->'''Finn''': Today’s the day you settle all family business.
--->'''Liz''': ...Is that from TheGodfather?!

** Finn proceeds to heatedly explain that there isn’t any room for moderation in the media. He compares their situation to the plot of most Western movies ("black hats versus white hats"), but it’s a serious moment which brings up a valid point and provides characterisation for Finn. It ends with him storming off as usual...before he awkwardly slides back onscreen to clarify:

--->'''Liz''': This place is on fire. It is burning to the ground. Richard, the Jeffries shooting, and do you know what Finn is doing? He's bolting the front door, and he is locking all the windows, and now Charlie's going round and collecting all the fire extinguishers, and he's dousing them in petrol and he's burning them all. [''Liz's eyes widen''] Fire extinguishers! ''On fire!'' I can make this place work better than it does. I’m not going to say it’s my calling, because that would make me sound crazy. But I am not crazy: [[SubvertedTrope I am FUCKING Mary Poppins]].

---->'''Sharon''': Liz, if this was a roadside stop, this would be the point in the conversation where I’d ask you to step out of your vehicle.

--->'''Finn''': Can’t prove it, of course, since you learned the ways of the Dark Side from the Master...who would be me.
--->'''Liz''': (''laughing'') Delusions of Jedi! Please don’t be ''that'' guy.

--->'''Tom''': Quick question, and this is from me, but is the ‘wazoo’ - is that the back bottom or the front bottom? I never know.

--->'''Finn''': Yeah, why don’t you Google it and fuck off out of my face?

** Finn’s expression suggests he found that ActuallyPrettyFunny.

--->'''Finn''': I bet you were top of your high school class, weren’t you? But you always wanted more, didn’t you -
--->'''Liz''': Don’t come and Hannibal Lecter me! I was homeschooled by hippies, as it happens, I was raised by wolves in a cave! You don't know me.

--->'''Liz''': This place is on fire. It is burning to the ground. Richard, the Jeffries shooting, and do you know what Finn is doing? He's bolting the front door, and he is locking all the windows, and now Charlie's going round and collecting all the fire extinguishers, and he's dousing them in petrol and he's burning them all. [''Liz's eyes widen''] Fire extinguishers! ''On fire!'' I can make this place work better than it does. I’m not going to say it’s my calling, because [[GenreSavvy that would make me sound crazy.]] But I am not crazy: [[SubvertedTrope I am FUCKING Mary Poppins]].

--->'''Robbie''': Life's hard, I get that. I mean, look at me: it's my fist day in a new job, and I'm here talking to you, and you're on a ledge, so that's pretty stressful - [''the man jumps''] Shit!

--->'''Liz''': Tom, maybe there's another angle on all this. Maybe when all it shakes out, you don't have to get into bed with Inglis. Maybe there's another bed. [[BaitAndSwitch Maybe Sharon has a bed, with a very nice duvet with a very high tog rating.]]

--->'''Tom''': I can't be anywhere near this. Finn will string me up by my ball hairs. And that isn't paranoia - that is a verbatim threat!

* There are hostage negotiations with the youth offenders at Cravenwood, concerning the facility guards they've overwhelmed. The inmates' demands include speaking to celebrities and food delivery. Their threats get creative.
--->'''Officer''': We need to make an intervention plan. I've received a credible threat.
--->'''Sharon''': Stuffing him with cheese and eating him? No cheese could realistically be inserted up an anus.
--->'''Finn''': (''casually'') I don't know - reckon I could do it with a wedge of Parmesan and a lump hammer.
---> [''Cue WTF look from Sharon'']

--->'''Richard''': I have a strategy for the committee: I give them nothing.
--->'''Liz''': Yeah, that's passive and defensive. Things are changing.
--->'''Richard''': Everything's always changing. I remember when it was Monday, now it's Tuesday.

---->'''Liz''': (''flatly'') No.

** It's not entirely readable, but Liz's email is a FreezeFrameBonus - midway through, she seems to be [[MetaPhorgotten lengthily comparing the police giving stories to the media to the relationship between Apple and Samsung]]. Verbatim:

---> '''Finn''': So you want to deal with this virus by letting it infect everyone?
--->'''Liz''': Pfft. Fuck off. [''walks away'']
--->'''Finn''': (''disappointed'') ...That wasn't very good banter.

---->'''Mia''': Oh, he's Turkish. The opposite of Greek.

--->'''Finn''': Dead [[spoiler: Commissioner]], dead teenager. Can everyone please just stop dying, just for a minute?

--->'''Liz''': Do you know what I see when I look at you spewing your shit? A dinosaur, roaring at monkeys sailing by. [[MetaPhorgotten On bikes. With iPads.]]

* In a departure from their usually snappy back-and-forth:

* In the second half of the episode, Finn [[CrossesTheLineTwice crosses the line around four-to-six times]].

** Finn proceeds to heatedly explain that there isn’t any room for moderation in the media. He compares their situation to the plot of most Western movies ("black hats versus white hats"), but it’s a serious moment which brings up a valid point and provides a large amount of characterisation for Finn. It ends with him storming off as usual...before he awkwardly slides back onscreen to clarify:

---->'''Charles''': No, with me, we emphasize the bearing. [''[[FunnyBackgroundEvent Finn tenses, then visibly deflates in the background]]''] I have...good bearing.

--->'''Liz''':We have the Policing Conference this week and I am keen to avoid any difficult headlines.

--->'''Nobbo''': Hey, Davs, here's a question for you: how would you like to see your husband going absolutely fucking mental on a rubbish bin?

->'''Representative''': I don't want to go into too much detail.
->'''Sharon''': No? And I don't want the GP to put that brush up my vagina when I get my smear test, but that's the procedure.