Not even gravity defying teapots can make her enjoy it.
A MLP:FiM Fanfic
by Skywriter, centered around Celestia and run on pure hilarity.
For thousands of years, Celestia was thought to be inseperable from her tea. For thousands of years, Celestia's loving subjects showered her with gifts of tea pots, exotic tea flavors, and tea parties. For a thousand years, Celestia put on a smile for her subjects.
But the truth is, Celestia hates tea. She's hated it since day one. And when her faithful student Twilight Sparkle returns from an ambassadorial mission with a present of a new tea flavor, Celestia decides to come clean with her millenia-old secret. What's the worst that can happen?
Can be found here
Has a follow up of sorts which reveals the original story to have been written by Twilight Sparkle
it's considerably less comedic and considerably more meta. It can be found here
. Some by the name of Jade Criminal
also wrote a continuation which tweaks the final outcome Pinkie Pie In: Princess Celestia Hates Tea
This fanfic contains examples of:
- All Just A Story Twilight Wrote: The aforementioned follow-up.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Celestia incapacitates all of the ponies assaulting her +, cloaks herself in flames, and destroys part of the Royal Castle to announce that yes, she is Celestia, and no, she doesn't like tea.
- The Chains of Commanding: Celestia pretends to like tea again after seeing how important it is to her subjects. Her devotion to her subjects is the only thing keeping her from retching with every sip.
- Completely Missing the Point: After Celestia proves to Twilight that she is the real Celestia and she doesn't like tea, Twilight, in an effort to preserve her worldview, assumes that Celestia is actually Discorded and doesn't like tea because of that. And then forces her to relive every memory of "enjoying tea" to "restore her." The more you think about this thought process, the dumber it is.
- Downer Ending: Celestia is forced to pretend to like tea again, because of the obscene amount of chaos that will occur if people think she hates tea.
- Easily Forgiven: True to her character, Celestia forgives Twilight for throwing wild accusations that got herself blasted by magic and assaulted by her own guards. And blowing up her castle and the ensuring political mess.
- Greater Need Than Mine: Celestia kept the lie of her love for tea for thousands of years for the sake of her people and her loved ones. She accepts to holding up the lie again for the same reasons at the end of the story, even after she had to willingly submit herself to what could be called Mind Rape for her.
- Humiliation Conga: By the simple act of confessing she doesn't like tea, Celestia turns Twilight, the other Elements of Harmony, her own royal guards, her sister against her, and sends her nation into a state of uproar.
- Masquerade: Celestia hates tea, while the whole world believes it to be her favorite drink. And nopony will believe otherwise.
- Broken Masquerade: And who knew not liking tea would cause such an uproar?
- Twilight attempts this in the sequel to prevent ponies from finding out that she was the one who wrote the story about Princess Celestia hating tea. Subverted in that Celestia already knows and doesn't mind it at all.
- Mind Rape: Played for Laughs, as just like restoring her friends from being discorded, Twilight forces Celestia to relive every time she drank tea to "restore her".
- Mood Whiplash: Something Celestia notices in Twilight immediately after revealing her secret.
- Physical God: Celestia finally lets loose to prove she is the real Celestia. And to announce she doesn't like tea.
- Puppy-Dog Eyes: Twilight pulls these on Celestia to get her to reveal her secret hate of tea. We all know how that turned out.
- Rule of Funny: Why is such a big deal made over the fact that Celestia doesn't like tea? How is Twilight's paranoid ramblings able to turn Celestia's own guards against her? How come nopony can cast a simple identification spell? Because it'd be funnier otherwise, of course.
- Self-Deprecation: Given the in-story nature of the fic, Twilight apparently enjoys this.
- Serious Business: Tea. There are enough ponies with tea-related Cutie Marks to pack the palace audience hall tighter than a can of sardines.
- Snowball Lie: It's mind-boggling to consider how much of Equestria's political stability hinges around people thinking Celestia enjoys drinking tea. And it all started with a little white lie to spare a well-meaning Luna's feelings.
- Springtime for Hitler: It's mentioned in the sequel that Twilight never intended her story about Princess Celestia hating tea to become so popular with the Canterlot literary elite. It was an accident that it even got published in the first place!
- Trademark Favorite Food: Deconstructed for laughs. Everyone in Equestria and beyond adamantly believes tea is Celestia's favorite beverage. When she tries to come clean and admits that she actually hates the stuff, her subjects refuse to believe it and accuse her of being the Changeling Queen or being Discorded.
- Twitchy Eye: Celestia develops one when Twilight announces that she is going to make her relive thousands of years of tea-drinking experiences to "cure" her.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Celestia is acting out-of-character (or so Twilight thinks) by confessing she hates her favorite beverage, and so assumes the Changeling Queen has taken her place.
- The Royal Guard is quick to turn on Celestia, because they learned their lesson the last time they ignored Twilight's warnings.