A bizarre mixture – an MLP Fanfic
featuring two different narratives, “Pink Personal Hell”, an Odd Couple
story where Pinkie Pie appears to be temporarily living with a human while getting on his nerves, and “Altering Fate”, a Slice of Life
story where a blue unicorn named Nickel Steel is being sent to Ponyville to live and his attempts to fit in. At first, it seems almost like the two have nothing to do with each other apart from the presence of ponies but it eventually blends in, explaining just what a "Pink Personal Hell" has in common with ones' fate being altered.
So it's like Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
...only with the Unicorns
unicorns. May be read here
Originally written for entertainment with his friends, it gained a prequel in the form of The Altered Fate Of Draco Scales
, detailing on the story of one character.
Pink Personal Hell And Altering Fate provides examples of:
- Accentuate the Negative: The mirror acts a little like this - always showing the moments where Dominic was alone.
- Berserk Button: Do not break a Pinkie Promise! Even if she doesn’t –have- pinkies!
- Big Eater: Full Beats.
- Brick Joke: In one scene, a Prank Bit that bounces away whenever she tries to catch it temporarily distracts Pinkie Pie. Then at the end of the scene, it bounces into the magic shop… followed by Pinkie Pie herself.
- Butt Monkey: Dominic. Potentially this couldn't be the case. (See Unreliable Narrator)
- The Cat Came Back: Dominic tries to shake off Gummy only Gummy keeps holding on no matter what he does.
- Character Development: The "Altering Fate" narrative shows Nickel Steel being somewhat shy, but he opens up to the rest of Ponyville. Revealed to be Dominic from "Pink Personal Hell", who was pretty much a complete doormat.
- Comically Missing the Point: Dominic is told that he broke a Pinkie Promise - and tries to justify it by saying that Pinkie Pie doesn't have pinkies.
- Extreme Doormat: Dominic shows traces of this - it's implied in the past he had been like this (hiding from everyone else rather than being shoved away) and never does anything about Pinkie Pie (literally!) walking all over him except protest. Nickel Steel is a little like that as well. He gets better.
- Fisher Kingdom: Equestria, Pinkie Pie is safe from the other side due to representing an Element of Harmony.
- Foreshadowing: Several things seem to be playing towards the twist. Among them:
- Nickel Steel playing with the sign. Foreshadowing Dominic playing with the mirror later on.
- Pinkie Pie seems to know Nickel Steel in Altering Fate…and she’s making a new friend in Pink Personal Hell. Gee, I wonder who that can be...
- Food Porn: Dominic describes Pinkie Pie’s delicacies as “Softcore food porn”. Not to mention, the meal of waffles….
- Hero of Another Story: Draco Scales
- Hidden Depths: Full Beats is actually highly competent with music.
- Hikikomori: Dominic is only shown leaving his house to go to school apart from the one occasion where he is apprehensive about Following Pinkie Pie to Equestria. Nickel Steel begins as this, flat out being afraid to leave his bedroom unless accompanied by somepony else. They get better.
- Humans Through Pony eyes: Pinkie Pie says humans are like “Minotaurs” and finds the TV so amusing.
- I Choose to Stay
- Idiot Ball: Yes, Dominic, great idea to try to wash flour off with WATER.
- Informed Flaw: Nickel Steel doesn’t think himself to be too capable with magic. Everyone else tries to tell him otherwise since his cutie mark is supposed to be a magic symbol not unlike Trixie or Twilight's. He seems to get better later on, no longer telling himself that he's just not very good with magic.
- In Medias Res: "Pink Personal Hell" is revealed to be this to "Altering Fate". Word Of God claims it's actually a subtle Shout Out to Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World this way with two different narration styles.
- Genki Girl: Pinkie Pie…oh so much.
- Odd Couple: The incredibly hyperactive Pinkie Pie and Butt Monkey Dominic.
- The Reveal: Comes about 3/4s of the way in. Dominic is Nickel Steel
- Rhymes on a Dime: Zecora. It's also contagious.
- Rule of Funny: This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about! Apparently, being nearby her also allows you to break the laws of physics.
- It’s also implied Luna has a sense of humour and likes to correct people by using her royal voice..just because she finds it funny.
- Plus, the “Pink Personal Hell” was called this simply because Pinkie Pie would move a little too fast for most people – and subsequently drive them crazy!
- Running Gag: Full Beats eating large amounts of food or stealing it when people aren’t looking.
- Gummy likes to bite onto Dominic.
- Nickel Steel having problems with stairs.
- Sequel Hook: Implied at the end that there will be future adventures in Ponyville, as well as relief that the mirror was not discovered by someone else who did not have interests as altruistic as the princesses.
- There is a prequel to this story, The Altered Fate of Draco Scales
- While not entirely a sequel, "Burned Bridges" takes place in the same version of Ponyville. However it is very loosely connected to Pink Personal Hell.
- Shapeshifting: Draco Scales, who apparently is able to turn into a dragon. It's not technically explained how it is possible for him to do so, but the above mentioned prequel explains it.
- Shout Out: The style of narrative is a Shout Out to Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami. The term "Altering Fate" is a shout-out to Vision of Escaflowne.
- Slice of Life
- Through His Stomach: Non-romantic example.
- Two Aliases, One Character: Dominic is Nickel Steel.
- Two Lines, No Waiting: The big gimmick.
- Unreliable Narrator: Dominic is likely to be one. He describes a group cutting him off and making him do the work, but when he gives the presentation (With an alligator stuck to his finger) they don't seem to be reacting with hatred. In fact, his exile is "self-imposed", implying that Dominic's problems were more from him just being an Extreme Doormat.