Fanfic / NBH

NBH by Chilord is a Fanfiction that parts from a simple premise. During the Chunin Exam Preliminaries Naruto gets paired against the Sound Kunoichi Kin, instead of Shikamaru. From there the story devolves into a lighthearted story that keeps the dosage of comical and serious tone from canon and creates a few other changes that makes waves in the story as a whole.

List of tropes appearing in NBH

• Armor-Piercing Question: Naruto cuts off the Kyuubi's Motive Rant about how it's more than just some nameless spirit by casually asking what its name is.
• The Atoner: Jiraya has shades of this in the backstory after Yuyake dies and he sped up the beginning of the Third Shinobi War.
• Babies Make Everything Better: Played for laughs. Shizune comments that the world would rue the day of the reascention of the Uzumaki but that it would better for the girls to be a little older before beginning to maximize production. Cue massive blushes all around.
• Badass Boast: Tsunade explaining to Tayuya why its bad to ask her to 'do her worst' during an interrogation.
  Tsunade: "For future reference, when you're faced with someone who is considered the foremost medical expert in the entire world, one whom even your precious little snake master and his pets acknowledge as knowing more than they do, being able to do things they can't... telling them to 'do their worst' is a very, very foolish thing. They know exactly how far they can take your body before your mind starts to crack. They know exactly how short of the time you need to recover and they can and will put your body back to pristine order, just to repeat as necessary."
• Because You Were Nice to Me: Kin chose to become Naruto's slave because he comforted her when Orochimaru gave her a Suicide Mission. It speaks volumes because said mission was to kill Naruto and he was fully aware of it.
• Big Damn Heroes: As in canon, Naruto saves Sasuke and Sakura from Gaara during the invasion. Though the circunstances are a little different.
• Blessed with Suck: Naruto's spoils. They are getting stronger since they now share Naruto and Kurama's chakra but they are still slaves.
• Boring, but Practical: Naruto's ultimate defense. Two projections of Wind Chakra against each other until they are razor sharp. Any attack that comes his way just follows the path of least resistance and away from him.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Shizune explains that there are no ninja that are sane. If they were sane they would finish the academy then decline becoming a ninja and use their skills to get laid.
• Career-Ending Injury: Sasuke's fight against Ino ends with the latter severing the former's achilles tendons, forcing her to wear heels for the rest of her life when they can't be healed fully.
• Chekhov's Gun: The Seal used on Kin at the beginning of the story. It's said that it could potentially remove Orochimaru's cursed seal. Fast forward some thirty chapters and it comes into play again when it's used to remove both Tayuya's and Sasuke's.
• Child Soldiers: Discussed. Kurenai is livid with the treatment that Yuugao gives Naruto during training and that she shouldn't be around children. Yuugao defends that she isn't around children. She's around soldiers.
• Code Name: They are actually just nicknames that the initial group call each other, but by the time the Finals of the Chunnin exams comes around, they adopted in order to keep their knowledge a secret. Things like Brat (Naruto), Bitch (Kin), Crazy Lady(Anko), ANBU lady (Yuugao), Old Pervert (Jiraya) and Bimbo or Princess (Ino) become everyday things.
• Cold-Blooded Torture: Anko is a given, but Tsunade shows how a Medic can become just as terrifying.
• Cool Big Sis: Anko, Yuugao and Shizune shade into this, but they like to toy with the younger kids a little too much.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Naruto, after the training he went through before the Chunnin Exam Finals.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: It swells in number as the story progresses. Starts with Kin, then adds Ino, Temari and Sasuke.
• Cruel and Unusual Death: The fate of anyone who gets infected with Bijuu chakra without a seal to harmonize it to their Chakra systems. The chakra literally corrodes the body as Sakon and Ukon discover.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: Several to go around.
  • Naruto versus Temari during the Chunnin Exam Finals.
  • Kisame against Naruto during the Tsunade retrieval Arc.
  • Naruto, Ino, Kin and Temari against Sasuke and the Sound Four during the Retrieval Arc.
• Damsel in Distress: Referenced by Temari after her fight against Jirobo during the Sasuke Retrieval Arc.
• Deadpan Snarker: Pretty much everyone.
• Defrosting Ice Queen: Temari after the events that led her into become a spoil.
• Death by Origin Story: Yuyake. The Sand Siblings' aunt and Jiraya's old flame.
• Deflector Shields: Naruto's Ultimate Defense.
• Dirty Old Man: Jiraya, though he isn't the only one on the "Dirty" category, just the only one on the "Old Man" category.
• Forceful Kiss: Ino to Naruto after a misunderstanding between the two is cleared up.
  Kin: "Oh, will you two just stop and make up already?"
  Temari: "Make up or make out?"
  Kin: "Knowing my luck, both."
  Ino eyed her before shrugging and pulling Naruto into a kiss.
  Kin: "That wasn't an invitation, damnit!"
• Drill Sergeant Nasty: Yuugao, whenever she feels that someone is moping.
• Dude, Where's My Respect?: Naruto can't catch a break, even from his spoils. Subverted in that they do this only when verbal sparring against him. To anyone else they always defend him.
• Easily Forgiven: Subverted with Sasuke. She's only still alive after being recaptured because of a combination of politics and fear of Itachi.
• Eccentric Mentor: Jiraya, Anko and Yuugao, to Naruto. Ino, Temari and Kin also received training from them.
• Empowered Badass Normal: What the Seal that Naruto's spoils receive does to them. They can share his and, more importantly, Kurama's chakra.
• Explosive Leash: The Seals the spoils receive. If Naruto dies, the Kyuubi's chakra on their system will kill them.
• Femme Fatalons: Kin when using Kurama's chakra can grow her nails into talons.
• The Gadfly: Yuugao, Anko, Jiraya and Shizune.
• Gender Flip: Sasuke was born a girl in this fic, who uses a genjutsu to hide her gender from her peers, though everyone from Chunin and up knows, since the genjutsu she uses is so weak.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Sarutobi pull this offscreen, even though he knew about the invasion a month prior.
• Happiness in Slavery: Kin, and later Temari, though it took a few near death experiences for her.
• Henpecked Husband: Not actually a husband yet, but Naruto is this to all the females in his life. He grumbles about it a lot, but ends up going with whatever they are saying.
• I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: More like she doesn't have a choice since she's his spoil, but Kin ends up with this attitude towards Naruto and Ino because he will need an official wife and she can't be it on account of being his slave.
• Jerkass Has a Point:
  • Yuugao is quite rough around the edges at times but she's usually right, even if she could be gentler in making her point, such as telling off Kurenai for trying to blame Hinata's family for the girl's problems when Kurenai's methods to solve them clearly aren't working. Or when she stops Naruto's moping by attacking him with a sword until he's too busy trying to survive to be depressed.
  • Kin's initial hatred of Ino is shown to stem less from her Faux Action Girl status (though Kin hates that as well), but because Ino possessed Kin with her clan techniques, something Kin finds incredibly violating on a very intimate level.
• Jerkass Realization: Anko when she angrily asks Naruto if he knows what it's like to be hated for something that wasn't his fault. It's only after Yuugao explains things to her that Anko realizes/remembers that Naruto is a jinchuuriki.
• Look What I Can Do Now!: Naruto demonstrating the Rasengan and the Claws of the Wind Tiger to Kakashi when he returns from getting Tsunade.
• The Matchmaker: Anko, Yuugao and Jiraya to Naruto and Ino.
• Moment Killer: Subverted. Naruto is so used to people appearing at his apartment out of nowhere that he doesn't even give a damn anymore by the end of the story if they see anything he's doing.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Sasuke gets one when she gets captured after trying to defect to Sound. Not only does she have no hope of killing Itachi anymore (even if she was allowed to remain a ninja, Ino destroyed her Achilles tendons), but she once more lost everything; this time because she threw it all away herself.
• Noodle Incident: The prank Naruto did on the ANBU that affected Yuugao. It's never specified what exactly happened, just that it was embarrassing for her.
• No Social Skills: Ino is dismayed after a date with Naruto when he makes what she see as a faux-pas. It takes her mother pointing out that the kid simply doesn't know any better because he grew up ostracized.
• Only Sane Man: Naruto likes to think he's this around all the craziness that is his life after the Preliminaries of the Chunin Exams, but in the end it gets to him as well, as evidenced by Gaara asking if there's some kind of transferable insanity going around in the Leaf.
• On Second Thought: Both Naruto and Ino on the pros and cons of Naruto turning into a pervert. Naruto at first thinks that it would be a good idea to become one if it would drive Ino away to which she realizes that maybe if he was he would be more open to her advances.
• Selective Obliviousness: Invoked. It's noted that Naruto works hard to not pay attention to a lot of the innuendos that flow around him. Even going as far as telling it himself that he's choosing to ignore the banter.
  Naruto: "Do I even want to know?" Eyes Jiraya practically drooling over his notepad. "On second thought, I KNOW I don't want to know."
• Took a Level in Badass: Ino goes from barely tying against Sakura to winning handily against Sasuke.
• Unsettling Gender-Reveal: Naruto's reaction to learning Sasuke's gender.
  Naruto: "But... But... But... He saw me naked!"
• World of Snark: It's practically impossible to go a single chapter without a lot of Snark-to-Snark Combat happening.