Fuzzy Logic
(also on AO3) is a Naruto fanfic by Deritine. The Nine Tailed fox, who here is very much female, has been trapped in time loops more times that she cares to count. This is due to Minato's Death God Seal and her own immortality not mixing well together.The kyuubi no kitsune knew something was wrong, but couldn't put a paw on quite what. However, there are benefits to being a force of nature, including time itself bending to accommodate her.To avoid being sealed in Naruto once again she runs away when faced with Minato, much to the later's shock, and takes over Madara's body. Turning the body female and calling herself Musume Uchiha she goes back to Konoha, determined to get rid of anyone that can control or seal her, namely any Uchiha and Minato. However few things go according to plan.
This fic contains examples of the following tropes:
- Abusive Parents: Everyone is under the impression that Madara was a particularly horrifying one to Musume. Hiashi once he completely snaps.
- Adaptational Heroism: Orochimaru is goodish here due to Minato having caught his sociopathic tendencies before the Snake Sannin went too far and getting him medical attention.
- Adaptational Villainy: Hiashi Hyuuga and Tsunade.
- The Ageless: Once she's in Madara's body Musume promptly stops his body's cells from aging, essentially making her immortal. This is eventually lampshaded by Minato, who notices that she looks exactly like her intake photos even though a decade has passed.
- Anger Born of Worry: Minato, whenever Musume and Naruto do something dangerous to themselves.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Musume and Minato.
- Badass Adorable: Since Naruto once again has his chakra coils expanded by Musume and is trained by her, he definitely counts. Also Sasuke once Itachi gets around to training him. Ino and Sakura once Musume trains them.
- Battle Couple: Musume and Minato. Itachi and Shisui, Kensai and Kakashi.
- Berserk Button: Naruto for both Musume and Minato.
- Beware the Silly Ones: Musume and Naruto are inveterate pranksters but is a very bad idea to make them mad.
- Big Brother Instinct: As always, Itachi towards Sasuke.
- Big Eater: Musume loves her food.
- Briar Patching: One of Musume's favorite tactics to get what she wants from the Council of Konoha. So far the only ones to realize it are Minato, Shikaku Nara, Chouza Akamichi and Inoichi Yamataka.
- Cassandra Truth: As her nature as a trickster, Musume does this quite often. When she is initially taken in by Konoha, no one believed her when she told them that she was a Uchiha until she showed that she had the Sharigan when Naruto is threatened by Fugaku.
- Cheerful Child: Naruto, having grown up loved and protected by his father and Musume.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Musume. Even Minato eventually gives up trying to figure her out.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Minato to Musume.
- Crack Fic: What do you expect given that the main character is a first rate prankster.
- Cunning Like a Fox: Musume is the Nine Tailed Fox and Naruto is the first Fox Summoner in existence. They like to play pranks, hide their intelligence and change the status quo. Tobi Namikaze, however, has the two of them beat.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Musume is quite decent for being the self proclaimed demon of destructive hatred. Also various of her fox demon subordinates are quite nice to Naruto.
- Death by Adaptation: Madara is essentially nonexistent, since the Kyuubi took over his body and is using it as her own.
- Dirty Old Man: Jiraiya and the Third Hokage.
- Double Reverse Quadruple Agent: Tobi Namikaze pretends to be working with the Akatsuki, but is just leading them into attacking before they are ready so Kohona can easily defeat them. No one in Konoha knows that he is working for their benefit, not even his own mother.
- The Dreaded: Minato was already a flee on sight S-ranked shinobi, then the greatest demon of all time run away from him. Musume slowly becomes the dreaded in her own way too.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: All of the Uchiha, including Musume.
- Everyone Can See It: Minato and Musume.
- For Want Of A Nail: Minato is alive, Orochimaru is good and sane, The Uchiha are spared. The Hyuuga end up practically extinct, The Forth Kazekage lives and forbids Gaara from attending the Chunnin Exams.
- Foreshadowing: Tobi's true goals are hinted at when he helps Sasuke escape an thus tipping off his mother and also he directs her attention to a dying Orochimaru. The biggest clue is when he forces his mother to assume her true form during the invasion.
- In an early chapter, Musume is brought to Konoha while Naruto is just a few days old. A few scenes later, she breaks out of interrogation and finds him in preschool and talking. It's shortly after revealed that Musume has a nasty habit of "freezing" in place for days, weeks, even months at a time, and that she's been in Konoha for just over two years.
- Gender Bender: The first thing the Nine Tails does after getting stuck in Uchiha Madara's body is to exchange his Y chromosome for another X.
- Once again Naruto invents the sexy no jutsu and tricks Sasuke into copying it.
- Good Thing You Can Heal: The times Musume suffers damage that would have killed a normal human a few times over is ludicrous.
- Grand Theft Me: Musume pulls this on Madara.
- The Gadfly: Musume and Naruto.
- Icy Blue Eyes: Minato in Hokage mode. Naruto in his few serious moments.
- Innocent Blue Eyes: Naruto.
- It Amused Me: Superficially the reason Musume does anything. Goes a bit into fridge horror territory- she's been stuck in a time loop so long that she's desperate to find anything new and entertaining.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Minato and Naruto.
- Has a Type: Minato has a thing for Jinchuriiki, being under the impression that Musume is a jinchuriiki and Kushina having been a genuine one.
- Healing Factor: Musume has it, and good thing she does.
- Humanity Is Infectious: Being inside Naruto for countless eons caused Musume to develop positive emotions and learn to love.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Musume in her true form is often mistaken for a male due to her deep voice. A fact that really irks her.
- Like Father, Like Son: Musume and Naruto are very similar to each other. Something that makes Minato uncomfortable until Jiraiya points out that Musume has been the one raising Naruto due to Minato's Hokage duties taking most of his time.
- Living Legend: Minato has this in spades, given that the greatest demon of all time run away from him, supposedly in fear of him.
- Little Miss Badass: Sakura and Ino once Musume is done training them. Also Hinata and Hanabi.
- Love at First Punch: Naruto becomes heads over heels for Temari after she wacks him over the head with her fan. Still it is possible that he might be faking it to annoy her and get her to drop her guard.
- Mama Bear: Musume toward Naruto, as Fugaku Uchiha learns the hard way. Threatening Musume herself merely gets a contemptuous scoff. Threatening Minato causes Musume some worry before she decides that he can protect himself. However, when Fugaku threatens Naruto, Musume flies into a fit of rage, activates the Mangekyo Sharingan, and tortures the Uchina clan head into a coma that lasts months. When she gives birth to her own biological children she is just as protective of them, to the point where various caretakers are terrified of the kids becoming distressed because that would mean that their mother will sense it and arrive to deliver punishment to whoever upset them.
- Metaphorically True: Everything Musume says about her past. Something that does not escape Ibiki and Inoichi.
- Missing Time: An initial problem for Musume when she became human was that hours or days would pass and she wouldn't realize it because it would feel like moments for. This was a major problem as she wasn't able to keep track of her self-care and made it difficult for others to communicate with her.
- Morality Pet: Naruto to Musume. He is the only reason she does not kill Minato the second she figures out that he was the one to seal her in the first place.
- My Beloved Smother: Mikoto, to the point where Itachi pretends to be sicker than he is so he can have some peace and quiet away from her in the hospital.
- No Social Skills: Gets played in several different ways.
- Musume takes a looooong time adjusting to life as a human. Even then, she still stands out for being generally insane.
- Naruto, due to spending almost all of his free time with Musume, quickly destroys any positive reputation he may have for being the genius son of the Yondaime by being loud, obnoxious, and insufferably talented.
- Minato, having been forced to spend most of his time in the office (and the rest caring for Naruto), has gone for years without any meaningful social interaction. It's so bad that Musume has to be the one to break him out of his shell.
- Not a Morning Person: Something Musume and Minato have in common. Naruto on the other hand is bright and cheerful the moment he wakes up with the sun.
- Not Me This Time: When the Kyuubi runs away at first, everyone starts congratulating Minato on his daring defeat of the creature... except, as he points out, he didn't get a chance to do the sealing ritual, and what attacks he hit the demon with wouldn't have hurt it sufficiently.
- "Not So Different" Remark: Minato notices certain parallels between Neji Hyuuga and Musume Uchiha. Neji regards Musume as an inhuman monster, even before her true identity is revealed, and yet he politically has the same opinions as her regarding personal freedoms.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: A favorite tactic of Musume and Naruto. People as a result underestimate them until is too late. Naruto in particular was aware that Musume was the Nine Tailed Fox the first time he summoned her, but did not reveal it until the end.
- Only Sane Man: Poor Minato is the only sane one around.
- Papa Wolf: Minato; the Fugaku incident endears Musume to him because she activated something she hates with all her soul to protect his son. Inoichi also gets really pissed off when Musume uses the Tsukiyomi to train his daughter. He keeps on using mental attacks on her until she starts to show her pregnancy.
- Porn Stash: Kakashi has his collection of Icha Icha that often gets vandalized by Musume.
- Primal Scene: Naruto and Tobi get squicked out when they witness Minato and Musume in a passionate make out.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: The Sharingan, especially the Mangekyo. Also the non-Sharingan red eyes of Tobi Namikaze.
- Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: Musume, Mikoto and Kensai. Itachi, Shisui and Sasuke are male examples, along with Tobi Namikaze.
- Real Men Cook: Minato does all the cooking for his family.
- Running Gag:
- Musume getting pissed off at all the puny humans being so wrapped up in their feelings. And bodily needs.
- Minato completely missing the point about Musume's attempts to flirt with him.
- Tobi revealing some crucial information, cracking up as if it were a joke, and then switching right back to deadpan seriousness.
- Every single time Musume has a "brilliant" idea, someone is groaning in dread.
- Orochimaru trying to take a blood sample from Musume.
- Peoples' reactions to Naruto summoning foxes.
- Sasuke acting like a sissy.
- Secret Secret-Keeper: Naruto realised that Musume was the Nine tailed Fox when he summoned her after Jiraiya threw him in a crater as part of a training exercise. He does not tell anyone, not even Musume until the secret becomes public knowledge anyway.
- Serious Business: Ramen for both Musume and Naruto, to the point where making it illegal to serve Musume ramen is Minato's only way of punishing her. Also Naruto is very annoyed at the one tailed Shukaku when she fails to appreciate ramen.
- Stations of the Canon: In-Universe, because of Time Looping, the Kyuubi is sick of these. She grew bored with Sasuke betraying the village long ago, even if she found it amusing at first.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Musume has quintessentially Uchiha features, due to her human body being Madara's. However, as the actual Uchiha are in frantic denial that she's one of them, the only one who manages to deduce her heritage this way is Orochimaru.
- Supreme Chef: Musume likes Minato's cooking nearly as much as ramen.
- Time Abyss: The Kyuubi is immortal and has been trapped in a time loop for gods-know-how-long. As such, she's used to plenty of time to think about things because there's no real urge to do anything in a hurry. This becomes a problem, as once she becomes human, she'll stop to think and won't react to anything for months.
- Training from Hell: What Musume subjects Ino and Sakura to this so they would not make Naruto look like a bully when he inevitably curbstomped them in the Chunnin Exams. Itachi puts Sasuke to this out of fear when Musume points out that Sasuke could die in a mission if he is not properly trained.
- Troll: Musume toward Fugaku, Hiashi and Danzo. Naruto toward the Forth Kazekage. Tobi towards everyone.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: In one of the loops, the Kyuubi managed to get Naruto to live out to six hundred years old. When he starts choking on a pretzel- no, really- he forces the Kyuubi not to save him with healing abilities so that he can join his loved ones.
- Yaoi Fangirl: Musume changed Kakashi's Icha Icha into a yaoi series and finds it much more interesting. During the written portion of the Chunnin exams, she even suggests Sasuke as a better love interest for Naruto than Temari.
